hanyeol sat in front of the bed Tao laid on top of. He watched as the man breathed in and out in a slow rhythm. The medic said Tao’s condition had stabilized; the man would be fine as soon as he woke again. But the medic had not said when Tao would wake. It could be hours or it could be years.

“You always knew, didn’t you?” Chanyeol whispered to the sleeping male, “This is why you told me this battle would end in death. How terrible of you to send me to a battle where I would have to face him, my one true love.”

“Well,” Chanyeol sighed as he confided in the only man he trusted now that Baekhyun had betrayed him, “you were right. In the end it will not matter how many troops I possess in this battle because I was destined to lose from the very beginning. I will always lose to him, Zitao, always.”

He pounded his fist against the sheets in frustration. “God damn it! Zitao, I wish you would wake and tell me what to do. I’m not sure any more. If my men were not in this with me, I would offer up my very life to him, hold still as he runs his merciless yet beautiful sword through me. But my men…how could I deprive them of their lives and dreams because of my own selfish desires?”

“I’m so confused,” Chanyeol continued as he rose from his position. He started to pace around the room, unable to keep still. Finally, after years of waiting, years of suffering, he had finally found Baekhyun again, but the reunion had not made him happy like he had predicted it would. Chanyeol was cut by Baekhyun’s betrayal but nowhere in his heart could he gernerate a single ounce of hate.

“Tao,” Chanyeol whispered as he suddenly realized something, “Baekhyun was the one who hurt you, wasn’t he?” It all made sense, now. “You knew from the very beginning who he was to me, that was why you chose to let him go, chose not to harm him…because you knew I loved him and continue to love him.”

Chanyeol broke down for the second time that day. He crouched on the floor, wrapping himself in his own arms, unable to face the harsh reality of truth.

“God, Tao, why would you do that for me? We were always the best of friends, always at each other’s sides when the other most needed it; but Tao…how could you put your own life on the line for me? I cannot bear that fact. Forgive me Zitao,” Chanyeol whispered, “forgive me for what I plan to do tomorrow.”

There was a knock at the door and moments later one of his soldiers entered the room caring a guzheng made of white pine.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol said as he accepted the instrument into his arms, “and about today.”

The soldier shook his head, his voice was quiet, “Do not worry about it, general. We are curious but it is not our place to ask. We trust you, that is why we follow you. We do not care what business you have with Shanxue’s general, that does not change who you are to us.”

Chanyeol was left speechless after the words of his soldier and the silence continued long after the man exited the hut. He didn’t deserve their trust. They had been fooled, all of them had been fooled! Chanyeol had never once rose his bow in battle for their benefit…it had always been for Baekhyun. They shouldn’t place such unwavering trust on him, because he would only betray it in the end.

He had already decided, from the moment he turned from Baekhyun on the battlefield that he would betray everything in the battle sure to commence tomorrow. Chanyeol was selfish, but selfish was just another way to say brave. Selfishness was only a form of bravery in which one was unafraid to fight for what one loved and wanted.

How unfortunate it was that Chanyeol was brave.

Chanyeol ran his fingers lightly over the guzheng strings. It had been a long time since he touched the instrument. He had stopped playing completely after Baekhyun left him, unable to deal with the painful memories the instrument stirred up. It made sense, thus, to play it today; after all, in a sense, Baekhyun had been returned to him. Chanyeol saw it as a last tribute to the common love they shared. Even to this moment, Chanyeol still believed in Baekhyun’s love for him.

He never doubted it in the first place.

The string were familiar to his fingers as though he had never stopped playing in the first place, similar to the way Baekhyun was familiar to his heart as though the man had never left in the first place. Lightly he strummed a few chords absent heartedly as he continued his conversation with the still asleep Seer.

“I used to play to remind myself of the beautiful things in the world, Tao, but I don’t think I need to anymore. I already understand what I live and fight for. I want to play something different tonight. It is a song I thought of this afternoon, after my heart broke from meeting him and I’d like to play it for him, but I doubt I will ever get that chance. But I do want to play it for someone, so bear with me Tao?”

Chanyeol allowed his fingers to glaze over the strings as though he was running them through liquid water. A minor chord filled the sullen night air as he struck clashing notes over and over again. The entire night was encompassed by the melancholy sounds of falling tears.

The melody itself was strong yet artfully broken. The notes would be strummed in a way so they would first ring vibrantly and sweetly and then collapse into a shattered ending. It was not so much a beautiful song in the sense that it was sweet but in the sense that it was imperfect.

It embodied the very sound of a shattering heart.

Deep into the night the melody sung, until Chanyeol’s hands could play no longer; his fingers raw from the pressure of the clear cut strings.

“It’s called Agate’s Betrayal.” Chanyeol gave a slight laugh when he realized Tao probably could not hear him and that even if the man could, he would not understand, “Of course, you would not understand the meaning behind it. Even if you can see the future, Zitao, this is a secret between only me and him.”

Chanyeol allowed his fingers to rest over the beloved instrument as he whispered to the wood of the guzheng, “You were our first witness and thus I wanted to end us with you as well. For a long time I played only beautiful, perfect melodies on your strings in an attempt to find true beauty in this world. Only now do I realize that the imperfect, too, is beautiful. It is too bad I cannot play this last song for him…that will be my final regret to this world.”

With those last words, Chanyeol set the guzheng aside and rose from his position. He walked out of the hut and into the chill night air. Once outside he rose his head and looked up at the heavens as he so often did.

But tonight, even the heavens could not prevent his tears from slipping out of his eyes, because he knew, Baekhyun was looking at the same stretch of skies, standing under the same dark night as he. That last strand of connection, was all Chanyeol had left.

♥

It was morning. Never more had Baekhyun ever dreaded something as much as the sun that now shined out at him. Nonetheless, he sat high on his moon shaded stallion as he stared at the crumbing wall not fall in front of him. He ordered his men forward, but he himself, he did not move.

His eyes were focused on only one thing.

On top of the wall, as majestic and tall as ever, was Chanyeol, still holding onto that glorious Bow of Courage. Today was the day they ended things. Today would be the last day either of them would have to suffer from the thorns associated with their hopeless love.

As Baekhyun removed his sword and leaped down from his horse onto the stiff ground, never once did his eyes leave Chanyeol’s. He tried to decipher what the man was thinking, but Baekhyun found that he could not. Chanyeol, today, was just as unreadable as himself. Chanyeol was hiding something.

Baekhyun advanced forward, but with less care than yesterday. His body lacked the will to fight. With his each step forward, new slashes marked his skin, cutting into his flesh. None were deep enough to do any damage so Baekhyun let them cut across him; it distracted him from the burning pain in his heart.

Days ago Baekhyun would have told anyone that asked, that the true way to achieving bravery was being heartless. But now, he changed his mind. The true definition of bravery was the ability to give up on what you loved most dearly in the world in order to achieve something else.

Bravery was not a beautiful thing. It was harsh, ugly, and brutal.

When he finally took Chanyeol’s life with his own hands, Baekhyun would be able to call himself brave, but what use was that? What use was such pitiful bravery to him? Suddenly his obsession with the concept of bravery over all of these years seemed silly. So what if he was courageous? What good was that? In the end he would still lose the person he loved most and himself along with him.

Baekhyun let out a chilled laugh as yet another blade made its way to his flesh, slicing a slit on his upper arm. Blood splashed from the wound to the necklace that hung around Baekhyun’s neck. The agate became marked with blood.