Secret Code by _TinkerBell_

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Secret Code

by: _TinkerBell_

Genre: Romance/Angst

Main Character(s): Kyungsoo/Jongin (KaiSoo) 

Contains: 

Chapter(s): Two (Completed)

 

Summary:   Kai and D.O secretly liked each other but they didn't get to confess their feelings. Not until after eight years.

 

 

Title ★★★★★ 

"Secret Code" hmm....yeah! I guess it is kinda catchy. I might be attracted to it and the more once I realized it's a Kaisoo fic! Cause I love that squishy thing and my baby Kai :D so yeah definitely! However, I searched aff and there at least about 10+ fics using the same title :s so that's a negative side for originality. 

 

Plot ★★★★★

I still hadn't gotten to hear "Goodbye Summer" until I read your story! The song is definitely a plus! And God knows how MUCH I love songfics! I think they are the best fics cause with good song you can come up with a great solid plot and your story was no exception! ;) It was a lovery story and I love how you mixed the song along with the plotline and use it to your advantage. Good job! 

 

Grammar ★★★★★

Before you, I had to take on a hard case of grammar and then going to you I must say I was a bit frustrated since I wanted more than anything for the next story I'd review to be grammar-free. Sadly, that wasn't the case. I was surprised that you lived in Canada but english isn't you first language so I guess it's either french or chinese...I dunno. But at least I can say that it isn't as bad as I've seen. I could still understand and read through out the story. However, I will point out some things so that you might be able to change them. Ready? Here goes:

"...I breath/breathe in..." 
"...when my eyes darted in/to the person..."
"...my cheeks is/are just burning, why don't/doesn't he stop smiling?"
"...as I hide/hid my head inside..."
"...you literally live/lived in my house..."
"...I knew for sure that his/he's the bad boy type...every girls/girl...broken/heartbroken"
"...I learned that his/he's the opposite..."
".His/He's not the person...someone's feeling (add an 's' to feeling)"
".Jongin maybe<---separate them "may be intimidating...but his/he's actually reliable."
*Never use "coz" while writing a story  it's "cause". when I was younger, I used to get flagged by using it. Don't want the same thing happening to you. ><
"...he stepped back as a pile of..." add the "a"
"Confession letterS"
"...I want you to give a shot in/at one of your admirer/admirers..."
"...I don't wanna came/come in between..."
"...my summer felt/feels like a rollercoaster..."
*When I read the second chapter I realized you wrote "cup" instead of "cap" in the first chapter.
 
Please re-edit the parts I gave you plus try to re-read them/check them for further errors cause they were more but it was mostly more of the same "his" instead of "he's" and things such as that. I will tell you the same thing I told the last request. If you can, get a beta reader ASAP. If not, you can pm me and I'll be glad to help out! :D
 

  Originality ★★★★★

I really haven't read a Kaisoo like this but I have read my stories about the secret love about to get married and being too late to confess and stuff. Still, I'm gonna gve you BIG kudos for the ending! It really got me by surprise! Though at one point I already knew what was going on. Like, I even thought that the wedding was actually a set up for them to get married and Kris, Krystal and Amber were like helping them finally get together! XD but still, your ending was lovely! :) Well done!

Flow ★★★½★
 
The points of views were okay, though I sometimes got lost in the second chapter with Kai since you were trying to mix his memories with Kyungsoo's pov. Nonetheless, it was still good. Once again the grammar plays a huge part in the flow of the story. I had to stop a few times cause of course I'm on editor's mode and it took a bit to read for just two chapters.
 
 

Reader's POV

;A; Lovely! I really loved this! My Kaisoo feels were all over the place! The song didn't make it any better! Amber did such as great job as a composer! :D The song really fitted so well with the story and the ending was just too adorable and funny with Krystal and Kris x'D you had me there! Cause I was already crying (seriously! you made me cry! Ignore me, I'm a softie ><) when Kyungsoo and Kai were in the school and I thought "This is it. Goodbye! Farewell to Kaisoo!" And I was so upset cause I really don't ship Kaistal so when I continue reading and saw what she did, I think that was the first time I felt pity for her! X'D lol! Anyways! I really enjoyed your story! It was fun reviewing it! ^^

I give your story:

★★★★★

Get a beta reader ASAP or PM me!

 

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Author's Thoughts
Najaeri
NAJAERI IS NOW AVAILABLE. SHE STILL HAS SOME COLLEGE WORK, BUT IT'S SOMETHING SHE CAN BEAR FOR NOW, SO SHE WILL BE TAKING REQUESTS AT A FAST PEACE AGAIN. TY
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Comments

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-Tigress- #1
Chapter 24: Thanks so much! And no worries about thelong wait, I do know how life can catch us sometimes >.< I appreciate the work you did!! And definitely the advice. I have been trying to think of an original title >.< And yes typos plague me. >.< So thank you!!! <3
-Tigress- #2
Hi guys! I was just curious if you guys were on hiatus at the moment?
itsjustnana #3
Requested c:
Tychee #4
Requested ^__^
I'd like to say thanks before hand XDD
Tychee #5
Requested ^___^
Misskittyrose #6
Umm why did my story get rejected?
-Tigress- #7
Okay, I have requested for the second one =) Thank you!!!
-Tigress- #8
I have requested a review! I also have a Question; can I ask for another story to be reviewed at the same time?
Also, if the reviewer I chose can't/doesn't want to do it, I honestly don't mind who reviews it. I just would like a critical review please. =)
hazel_marie13 #9
Chapter 21: Thanks for the review :) I really do agree with all the mistakes/errors that I made & if I had time, I'll edit/correct it :)
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