Luhan wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find when he rounded the corner of his old neighbourhood. With the newfound knowledge that in his past life he indeed had a friend (at least one person who cared for him) and even a family, he couldn’t help himself but to hope. Luhan couldn’t prevent that one lonely yet subconscious spot buried deep within him from hoping that maybe he would finally get all the answers that he had been searching for over the years and that maybe, he would finally be able to see with his own two eyes, the place where he once truly belonged.

But all that building up was shattered in one swift moment when the wind blew gently over his eyes, stunning him on the spot and also in turn, stirring the resting white ashes of what he presumed used to be his old home. Luhan registered somewhere in the back of his mind that Suho had already swiftly caught up and was currently staring blankly at the same scene in front of them. But only a deafening silence filled the area as the two could barely register the fact that both of them, in that moment, had stopped breathing. However, surprisingly after a long pregnant pause, the angel was the first one to come to his senses. “What… what happened?” His voice was soft, weary and Suho was sure it was more of a question to himself than the other. Suho was rendered speechless, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly a few times, trying furiously to gather together anything, anything at all to respond to the angel. But all of his efforts failed in the end as he settled with gently taking Luhan’s hand in his and giving it a light, comforting squeeze. It was impossible to decipher what exactly was running endlessly through Luhan’s mind at that time; the complex expression on the angel's face gave away nothing more than a blank shock that was quickly replaced with a firm stare. Tilting his head ever so slightly towards the boy behind him, and giving their intertwined hands a gentle squeeze in return, Luhan slowly let go of their grasp and walked forwards, crossing the road towards the wreckage.

“Luhan…” Suho reached after him. The look of Luhan’s crumpled backside as he marched on gave Suho an unmistakable sense of heartache—for both Luhan, as he couldn’t even begin to imagine just how he was feeling right now, and himself, even though it was rather futile and idiotic, because he knew he could do nothing to help him. Letting out a sigh, Suho padded after his angel until they were both standing in the center of what was left of the large square foundation. A cracking sound was heard underneath Luhan’s foot as he shifted his weight and he bent down to examine the source. Careful not to get his clothes dirtied, Luhan swiped away layer after layer of crumbling soot until his nimble fingertips finally brushed against a smooth, cold surface. Curiously, Luhan picked up the small object, still half hidden in ash and shaped rather oddly like an animal with a small chain and key ring dangling from its side. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, and no longer caring much about the state of anything else, Luhan frantically used the edge of his white sleeve to wipe away it’s smooth face and blinked curiously as an image of a deer appeared, imprinted on the gold base. Luhan examined the keychain more closely as he twirled and twisted it around in his fingers, and his concentration faulted ever so slightly when his fingertips met the feel of a small imprint on the backside. Turning it over, he nearly jumped up in shock when he was met with the sight of his name etched deeply within the wood.

Suho peered down and was met with the same type of surprise, but also grimace, as he realized it was now undisputable that this was in fact the correct location that they had been searching for. Luhan’s old home was nothing more than a pile of cinders now, and just what could have happened—whether it was a mistake, an accident, or something else—none of them knew for sure. But as Luhan fisted his hands and gripped the small trinket in his hand tightly, and Suho crouched down beside him to pull him into a comforting embrace, they both became infinitely more determined to find out.

-

After the two boys had managed to return home, a little wearier but a lot more confident with the direction their search had been leading thus far, Suho and Luhan sat together and began to devise their plan for the next day. Their best bet now was honestly the XOXO student president Sehun, and they resolved to meet and share another chat with him as soon as possible.

That night, Suho watched the navy sky twinkle with the winking light of a thousand stars as he fell into a dreamless sleep. Luhan in the other room followed soon after, clutching his deer close to his chest. And this time, he was the one to dream of a faceless boy reaching out to him as the stars fell around them.

-

“Oh hello again,” Sehun greeted, unable to hide his brief sense of surprise at the presence that had stopped him on his way out of the school. 

The next afternoon, Suho and Luhan transformed into faux students once again, decked up in their full uniforms and hair gelled upright as Suho was desperate to convince Luhan that he could “definitely still pass as a high school student” and waited patiently outside the front gates. Well to be more correct, Suho was the one waiting patiently as Luhan beside him, fidgeted in his spot and whined more than necessary about how long the dismissal bell was taking to ring. However, their labour paid off as a few minutes after the bell finally rang, Luhan immediately spotted the tall boy they were looking for walking straight towards him.

All their previously discussed plans to “play it cool”, and to approach Sehun smoothly and discreetly were thrown out the window the second Luhan leapt out of his hiding spot and landed himself right in front of the student's path, waving obnoxiously while he was at it. Suho nearly face palmed but quickly darted out to join him. Both parties greeted each other. “So what brings you two here again? Is there anything I can help you with?” Sehun’s tone was polite as he peered down at them and adjusted the backpack straps on his shoulder.

“As a matter of fact there is!” Luhan replied happily, ignoring the incredulous look on Suho’s face. The shorter was originally the one they agreed would do all the talking, but Luhan just couldn’t contain his urge and excitement at the opportunity to gain some much needed information. 

Sehun merely nodded, signaling him to continue.

“Do you remember that friend of yours we were discussing the last time we met?”

“You mean Luhan?”

“Yeah, that’s the one!” Luhan smiled, ”do you mind, only if you have some time to spare of course, telling us more about what you know about him?”

Sehun gave him a confused look, which turned into one of realization. “I’m guessing you went to their old house, huh?”

“Yeah, we did,” Luhan admitted sheepishly, “but we were wondering if you could tell us what exactly happened there.” 

Sehun his lip in hesitation. “Well… although I’m perfectly fine with the request itself, may I ask… why? It’s been years already since the incident, but you two seem awfully curious about it…”

And that was when Luhan and Suho were drenched with a sense of panic. There was no Plan B or C, there was no questioning of their motives in their carefully thought out plan—only the classic go in and get out, and preferably with the knowledge of where their next step would take them.

“Uh, well you see we—we used to know him!” Suho blurted, but immediately regretted it; however, with Sehun turning his utmost attention towards him and his flustered state, he knew it was also too late to go back, slap himself, and take back his lie.

“Oh really?” And at his tone, Sehun was genuinely curious.

“Y-yeah totally, we totally knew him. He was like a bud, buddy… amigo? Like duh—“

And before Suho could drown and kill Luhan with the sheer force of the chronic second hand embarrassment he was radiating, the angel reached into his pocket. “He gave this to me.” And although it wasn’t entirely the truth, it wasn’t a total lie either. The deer keychain he was currently holding out did used to be his at one point; therefore, he was able to bury the guilty feeling that rose in his throat at the sound of Sehun’s audible gasp for using such a sneaky tactic. Luhan allowed Sehun to gently reach out and trail his fingers over the outline of the small animal before he straightened out again and nodded for them to follow him.


-


“Honestly, Luhan was a very optimistic person; he was that one guy, who always loved to live life,” Sehun explained as he sat across from the two boys at a small picnic table behind the school. Since a rather long time had already passed, not many students bothered hanging around the area, opting to head home or meet with some friends elsewhere, so it was relatively quite and deserted as they talked. Suho and Luhan made sure to absorb Sehun's every word with the utmost attention, making mental notes and piecing together bits and pieces of the puzzle as the student president went along. “Our families knew each other from early on, so we often played together when we were young despite our age differences. But of course as time went by, we grew apart. However, after the… incident of the house fire, all of Luhan’s family except him passed away, leaving him alone and frankly very depressed. Although we weren’t particularly close anymore, my family offered for him to stay with us but you know, Luhan was never a person who wanted to burden others with his problems—he declined. Instead, he decided to live with his best friend Lay and after that… I never heard of him much until…” And it wasn’t necessary for him to go on as they all knew in that trailing silence exactly what incident he was referring to. “I feel sorry to him though honestly,” Sehun spoke softly, “if he lived with us then he wouldn’t have had to work, which would have prevented—“ the youngest boy let out a deep sigh, as if he had been holding it in for longer than they would ever know, “sorry.”

“No, no, it’s ok. It’s not your fault,” Suho reassured, reaching into his own pocket and retrieving a small handkerchief, which he held out for the boy. Sehun took it gratefully although he himself wasn’t sure if he would need it soon. “We’re really thankful for your time and your willingness to share with us. You’ve really helped us, you know? We’ve been trying to figure out what happened to him all these years,” and at that Suho and Luhan exchanged knowing glances.

“Oh, you don’t have to thank me,” Sehun managed to crack a genuine smile, which was returned by the boys across from him. Although Luhan was elated at all the new found information, there was one particular fact that had piqued his attention and he couldn’t leave this conversation without asking.

“You said Luhan lived stayed with his best friend… Lay, was it? I hope you don’t mind me asking if you know where he might live?” But at Luhan’s hopeful tone, Sehun had to give him an apologetic smile and shook his head.

“Sorry, as I said, I wasn’t very close to Luhan at that time. I’d love to help an old friend of Luhan’s but… all I know is that Lay already graduated and goes to the nearby college now. I think I heard that he lives in the dorms there, but I’m not completely positive about that.”

“That’s perfect, thank you.”

And just like that, their impromptu meeting came to and end, leaving the three sharing their thankfulness to each other while Sehun bid them well, and them to him.

With one last peek over his shoulder at the boy that he once knew, and who was now kindly waving as he retreated home, Luhan couldn’t help but feel a warmth within him to have known such a kind hearted person both then and now.

-

Locating the local college wasn’t such a difficult feat as it was located right in the same neighbourhood as XOXO High—although there were many blocks to walk, it was entirely do-able and before long, Suho and Luhan had arrived on campus. It was now early evening, but the sun was only beginning to set, casting the wide sky in a very pale blue, melting into soft oranges and pinks. If this Lay really did live in the dorms, they figured that he would still be there however late they arrived.

Finding the rooms roster wasn’t such a difficult feat either as the boy’s dorm head, Xiumin as he introduced himself, was willing to let them scan over the list after Luhan’s cute and honestly a little bit annoying insistence that they were one of the inhabitant’s friends and he just needed to find them. Scanning over the printed names, Luhan and Suho visually deflated as they couldn’t locate a guy named Lay rooming there, anywhere. “You know, Sehun did say he wasn’t completely sure if Lay was living here,” Suho pointed out, trying his best to console the saddened angel and trying to hide that fact the he was also just as disappointed from their fruitless search.

“Hey, are you talking about Yixing?” The new voice startled the huddled boys and they turned their attention towards the dorm head who had been peeking over their shoulders. At the sight of their widened eyes, the sharp-eyed elder backed away a few steps before putting his hands up in defense. “Ah, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or anything…” He said sheepishly, but Suho didn’t mind.

“Yixing?”

“Yeah, Zhang Yixing. He goes by the name Lay, though that’s not his real name. He’s up there in his dorm right now,” Xiumin explained, taking the list from Suho’s hand and running it over with a pen. The younger bowed and thanked him profusely, which he bashfully waved off with a gummy smile.

“We’ll be going up then—we’ll be really quick,” Suho bowed once again as Xiumin agreed, turning and shaking his head while mumbling something along the lines of “high school kids these days.”

Suho whipped his head towards Luhan who had started to ascend the stairs and pointed frantically towards Xiumin’s retreating backside, a cheek splitting, victorious smile on his face. The human almost looked like an overly eager puppy in Luhan’s eyes and the angel bend down to ruffle his hair playfully, adding on a teasing roll of his eyes. “Fine. I admit that you can pull of a high school student.”

“And a really good looking one at that, right? Right?” Suho nudged Luhan in the side, slightly tickling him in his newly formed confidence.

“Don’t push your luck,” Luhan grimaced as he pushed the side of Suho’s head, earning a pouting whine from the other.

Luhan had to bite back the huge smile from forming on his lips that would have surely split his face in half.

-

Luhan took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Two raps, a wait, and nothing.

Two more raps, a wait and nothing.

One shared glance, a rap, a wait and—

“I’m coming!”

Two sighs of relief.

The white door swung open to reveal a rather dishelmed looking Chinese man with wide blinking eyes, his purple headphones halfway off his head as if he had just ripped them off as he ran, and a rainbow designed unicorn mug in his free hand. “Sorry,” he flashed them a dimpled smile, “I couldn’t hear with my headphones on so—“ But when his eyes shifted to the angel in front of him, he stumbled back and dropped his mug onto the carpet, splashing all three of them with scalding hot coffee. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Oh gosh just—come in, come in!” Lay quickly ushered the two standing outside into his room and promptly ran around collecting paper towels from his bathroom to clean up the mess. He ended up slipping, cutting his finger on the broken shards of his mug and asking for Suho’s assistance wrapping it up.

-

“So you’re telling me that you’re one of Luhan’s distant cousins?” Lay asked as he sat on the bottom his small bunk bed and raised an eyebrow at the angel who nodded as innocently as he could, hoping that the man in front of him was gullible enough to buy it.

“Yup.”

Lay chuckled ever so slightly into his hand, showing off his dimple, and his eyes formed tiny crescents behind his brown, overgrown bangs. “That would explain the resemblance then.” And with that, Luhan was internally elated. At the relaxed atmosphere of the room, Suho found himself also relaxing into his small office chair provided to him near Lay’s cluttered desk. It was full of medical textbooks, drawings and whatnots, which would have fascinated the guardian if he had not came to visit with another, more pressing purpose. “Can I get you guys anything though? Some water or perhaps something to eat?”

Luhan shook his head and politely declined. “Honestly, we came here for another reason, regarding Luhan.” Lay nodded his head as if he had already guessed so. “Could you possibly… tell us more about Luhan? Maybe about what type of person he was, and maybe… elaborate what exactly happened to him?” Lay’s eyes widened exponentially and Luhan quickly rushed in to retreat the bluntness of his statement, “I mean, only if that’s alright with you of course! There’s no pressure whatsoever and if it makes you feel uncomfortable I totally understand—“

“No, it’s alright,” Lay interjected, giving pause to Luhan’s incessant rambling and smiled once again, but this time, giving off an aura of much more sadness and much more melancholy. Something about the way his frame fell ever so slightly, made Luhan and Suho tell that they were in for a rather emotional journey but they were prepared for whatever came their way. It was too late to back out now, and with a deep breath, Lay began. “Luhan, Luhan,” he smiled to himself, almost getting lost in the rush of his own memories, and maybe he did because as he spoke, Luhan could tell he was speaking from a place far off—his heart was no longer in the cramped dorm room of his college, and his mind was far too deep to be coming back to reality any time soon. “Luhan was my absolute best friend and we’d do anything for each other. That’s why after his family died in the accident—“

“So it was an accident,” Luhan clarified.

Lay just nodded, his mind too preoccupied to react against Luhan’s interruption. “—That’s why after Luhan’s family died in the accident, I offered for him to stay at my place with my folks. Of course he said no, he was really against ‘burdening’ me as he would put it, but after I told him he could pay his own rent while staying, he agreed. He even got a job at the restaurant down the street from here, can you believe it? Of course I didn’t actually want him to pay but he was a stubborn bastard like that you know?” Lay shook his head in amusement as Suho gave the current Luhan a look, which was returned with an exasperated glare. “In any case, at that time, he was really depressed about everything. I mean he just lost literally everything, so I couldn’t blame him. Even so, he was still going on living the best he could, going to work, studying hard… trying to live normally. But of course, I could tell, there just something holding him back, that wasn’t normal. I tried to help him though, I really did but—“ A soft sigh escaped through Lay’s lips and anyone could tell from the way the shaky breath rattled him, that his voice was on the verge of breaking, “then he went to work one day and… and…” By now, Lay was breathing hard, struggling to keep himself calm and collected as his nose turned pink and his eyes began to glaze over with unshed tears. Suho leaned over in concern and gently placed his hand on top of Lay’s folded ones.

“And then what?”

“And then… Luhan went to work one day and he—he never came back.” And that was enough to break Lay’s carefully constructed wall of protection, which he had carefully built for himself over the years, and a wash of tears began pouring down his flushed cheeks as the other two scrambled to give him a tissue. “If he had told me—if Luhan just told me what he was planning—what he wanted to do, then I would have helped him through it but—“ Lay abruptly stood up, wiping his eyes frantically with the back of one of his hands and using the other to motion. “I’m so sorry but I just need some time alone, please.” And Suho and Luhan could do nothing to comply as the dorm owner quickly ushered, though it could even go so far as to calling it half pushed, them out the door and into the empty hallway.

The dorm head, Xiumin, popped his head from around the corner and gave the two a confused look as they walked out of the building together, just as bewildered and even more conflicted than when they had entered.

-

The long walk home was silent for the most part. It was just the two of them, walking side by side under the darkening sky, which was quickly being dotted by the small stars and brightened with the rising moon. Both of them were too caught up in their own thoughts to acknowledge the other presence beside them. Suho looked over in the corner of his eyes and recognized the look Luhan had on his face—the subtle pinch of his eyebrows, the miniscule purse of his pink lips, and the twitch of his fingers against the zipper of his jacket—they all signaled how deep in thought the angel was. Suho observed him for a minute more and was about to speak, but like most times, Luhan always managed to get the first word in, breaking out of his trance in a millisecond and turning to face Suho. “It’s like a conspiracy, you know?”

Suho was taken a back, a bit dazed at the older’s revelation. “What is?”

“Well,” Luhan began, looking up towards the sky and clasping his hands behind his back, “you know how I’ve always said that I wanted to know what kind of person I was? What kind of life I lived, the sorts of thing I accomplished? I was always so hopeful too. I guess in the back of my mind, I always hoped that maybe, because I couldn’t remember anything, that maybe the life I had lived was extraordinary or something. I thought that it would be filled with love and laughter, and be so extraordinary that even my mind just couldn’t have comprehended it. But looking at what we have now, the clues that we’ve found up to this point… well it doesn’t look so bright for me. It was foolish to dream wasn’t it?” Luhan shook his head and chuckled humourlessly, eyes scanning all the way to his shoes, “it’s a conspiracy, I swear.”

Suho felt crestfallen at Luhan’s sudden confession. That couldn’t be true at all, no, because he was his angel, and there was honestly no one in this entire universe more spectacular that him. Who else could have fallen from the sky so gracefully? Who else could have looked even more breathtaking as they glowed so brightly in their own light? Who else could have fallen straight into his life, giving it so much more purpose than the countless years that he had lived before? No one, because everything happened for a reason, and Suho was sure of that. Determined to lighten up Luhan’s downcast mood, Suho playfully nudged him on the shoulder. “Hey, don’t make that face, you’re going to get wrinkles.”

Luhan gave him a half smile from underneath his bangs. “Pssht, don’t even go there.”

“I guess I’m going to have to start calling you the grandpa, huh? I mean, you are the older one here.”

“Stop that,” Luhan pushed his arm, but Suho could tell that his façade was slowly fading and the hard line of his mouth was curving upwards at the corners into a smile.

“And I guess you can still pull off being a high school student anytime you want, even though you like what? Never graduated?”

“Augh, quit it,” Luhan finally gave in a let out a bubble of laughter. And at the tinkling sound, Suho couldn’t help but smile wider as he gently punched Luhan’s arm.

“There we go! There’s that smile!” But Luhan merely gave him a look and pouted, turning away so he would miss the red tint of his cheeks. Soon, Suho calmed down and paced comfortably beside him. “But you know, we still don’t have all the clues, so who knows? Anything can happen.” In the corner of his eye, Suho saw Luhan nod his head.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And besides, it’s never foolish to dream, no matter what it is, as long as you can wait and as long as you can work, it’ll surely come true some day. You can trust me on that.”

Suho’s tone was more seriously and filled with certainty than Luhan had ever heard it before, and he couldn’t help but look up at the younger as the latter brought his concentration up to the sky above them. “How can you be so sure about that?”

“It brought me you, didn’t it?” And with that, Suho turned his head to face Luhan and gave him the cheesiest wink known to man. Luhan gagged a bit as he kicked the other’s knee.

“That’s disgusting!”

Suho laughed and covered his face with his hands as he realized what he had just done, “I just wanted to lighten the mood, I’m so sorry.”

Luhan shook his head and patted Suho on the shoulder. “It’s alright, it’s alright. At least you tried.” And then an idea popped into his head. “Hey, I told you my dream, so you should tell me yours,” Luhan suggested, but it only earned an embarrassed smile spreading over Suho’s mouth as he shook his head adamantly. “Oh come on,” Luhan whined, but was met with the same response. “Come on, it can’t be that bad,” he reasoned.

Suho pinched the bridge of his nose, “well I guess it isn’t but, ugh you’re going to laugh at me.”

“No I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, absolutely, if my name isn’t Luhan and my spirit animal isn’t a deer.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Gosh Suho, just spit it out!”

“Fine,” he crossed his arms with a huff, “my dream… is to find my own Neverland.”

“…”

“…”

“PFFFFT.”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LAUGH AT ME!” Suho nearly screeched at the doubled over deer and stomped away.

“I’m so sorry but—aha Neverland, oh gosh don’t run away!” Luhan quickly took a few cleansing breaths and chased after him, pulling Suho back by the arm.

“What?!” Suho snapped.

“I’m sorry for laughing it’s just—aha, what do you mean by that exactly?”

Suho gave him an unimpressed look but decided to elaborate anyways. "When I say Neverland, I don’t actually mean a magical land filled with little boys and fairies, if that was what you were thinking,” and with the way Luhan almost burst into another fit of laughter, Suho knew he had hit his mark. “When I say Neverland I mean a place of my own—a special place where I can just escape to whenever I want to. It’ll be a place where I can rest forever and not have to worry about the future and responsibilities—a place where I don’t have to grow up and stop dreaming… I want to find a world of my own… I guess…” Suho found himself trailing off as he eyed the now oddly quiet boy in front of him who was standing very still. The younger wasn’t quite sure how to decipher his reaction.

However, in that moment, Luhan was currently regretting his previous laughter very much as he heard the real reasoning behind Suho’s dream. It was a lot deeper than he would have imagined and he found it quite insightful and frankly quite… “Cute.”

“Excuse me?”

“Cute. You have a very cute dream there, Suho.” And maybe he didn’t have to regret his actions so much, because although it was unintentional, the embarrassed look he caused on Suho’s face was all worth it.

“You know, I think I prefer you laughing at me than… this,” Suho grimaced, which Luhan ignored and interrupted with his own addition.

“But if you go to Neverland, then you’re going to need a Peter Pan to guide you won’t you?”

“Peter Pan? But I—wait a minute, are you saying that I’m Wendy?!”

Luhan held out his hand stoically, “yes, I followed Tinkerbell all the way to find you. Now come away with me, my Wendy.”

Suho buried his face into his hands. “No, just no.”

Luhan tapped his foot in impatience. “Peter Pan can’t wait forever you know? He’s going to fly away without you, leaving you all alone to guide through the stars, and knowing you, you’d probably end up on Exo Planet or something and then—“

“Oh will you ever stop?” Suho rolled his eyes and relented, slapping his hand onto Luhan’s and letting him lead him to who knows where. Luhan felt the warmth from the other’s hand radiating in his, and watched as Suho stood patiently behind him, allowing him to take them wherever they pleased. Even though it might have been against his will in the beginning, Suho would always inevitably end up cheerfully going whichever way he wanted.

Instead of dragging them away, Luhan pulled Suho by the arm and into his chest as he quickly embraced him. Suho was flustered beyond belief as he began spilling incoherent words. “Wha—huh—what—“

“Thank you,” Luhan silenced him. Upon hearing the angel's voice, Suho softened as he gazed at the boy who had wrapped his arms around his waist.

“For what?”

“For everything—for finding me, for believing me, for going along with all the stupid things I wanted to do and for helping me even though you may not always want to and just… everything. Thank you, Suho, thank you.”

In the middle of the street, in the growing night as the wind picked up around them and as the temperature dropped to a chilling degree, both boys deep inside, felt infinitely warm.