CHAPTER FIFTY one

It was another typical day where everyone was gathered in the living room playing around.

The maknaes were on the Xbox; Yifan, Joonmyeon and Minseok were discussing about something; Baekhyun, Jongdae and Chanyeol were making fun of each other; Zitao and Yixing were just casually sipping their tea; Luhan was making things float around using his powers and Kyungsoo was just sitting there, watching the whole scene in front of him.

Minseok had his arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, both situated on the couch. Minseok then started playing with the doe eyed boy’s hair, running his hand through the soft locks of Kyungsoo’s.

*Are you just going to waste your time by sitting here and doing nothing? I thought you wanted to say good bye to them? You only have 2 days left including today.* D.O. suddenly said, surprising Kyungsoo – whose sat up really quickly. Kyungsoo had thought that D.O. would never want to speak to him again ever since they talked yesterday.

*I do.* He looked at Yifan who was chuckling at something Joonmyeon said.

*Then go.* D.O. huffed before disappearing again. Kyungsoo wanted to smack D.O. because he was being a grumpy old man but he knew that D.O. was right. He needs to start taking the initiative.

“Yifan.” Kyungsoo abruptly stood up, causing everyone to stop and turn to look, even the youngest who are on the Xbox. “Erm.. can I talk to you for a while?” He asked his alpha.

“Of course.” Yifan had a confused look on his face but stood up as well. Before he could ask where Kyungsoo wants to talk at, the boy was already pulling him out of the house. Kyungsoo shyly held onto Yifan’s hand and the elder fought the urge to laugh when he noticed it. It made Kyungsoo appear to be so adorable, such that the alpha almost could cuddle him the whole day.

Kyungsoo was swimming in his own thoughts as he trailed through the forest. He knows what is it to say, yet given the circumstances, he does not know if he should say it. Yifan has always been the sharp one and he was afraid that Yifan might suspect there was something wrong with him. “Soo.” Yifan called out. Engrossed in his own dilemma, he did not realised Yifan was talking to him until he was jerked back by the alpha. “Are you okay?” There was that worried look on Yifan’s face.

“Yea I’m fine. I was just thinking about some stuff.” He murmured as he looked around. Seeing that the Halo Lake was right in front of him, he grinned and went towards it. He took his shoes off and dipped his feet into the lake as usual. He turned around and saw his alpha was just standing so he waved his hands. “Come and join me, Yifan!” The older male gave a smile and sat on Kyungsoo’s right. He too removed his shoes and placed his legs into the water.

There was a minute of comfortable silence. Kyungsoo left his feet soaked in the water, swirling it to and fro. Yifan eyed his movements, watching the water drip from his thigh into the pool. Turning his head towards the horizon, he broke the silence. “How’s Geunyoung? I assume she’s back home safely?”

“Yup. I just received a call from noona this morning saying that she is back home.” There was another moment of silence. Kyungsoo bit his bottom lip and he scooted closer to Yifan. Yifan watched in amusement as Kyungsoo slowly went towards him before the boy leaned against Yifan’s arm. “Yifan?” Kyungsoo called him.

“Hmm?” The older male looked at Kyungsoo just to see him staring at the lake.

“Have you ever wondered, what will happen if the wolf demon comes back? I mean it’s impossible, since I have kept him locked up here.” Kyungsoo pointed towards his temple, giving himself (likely) an affirmative nod. “So he might not come back. But what if he does? What if he comes and—”

Yifan grabbed onto Kyungsoo’s shoulders and searched in his eyes, scanning through each crease and veins. As if the answer lies amongst it. “Why? Do you feel the demon again? Did something happen?”

“No. Everything is fine.”

“Then why do you even have to ask? It’s enough that I worry for you for every little thing that you do, and you just have to shock me with that question.” Yifan let out a sigh of relief, hearing that Kyungsoo is well.

“You have to stop worrying about me, Yifan. I can take care of myself now.” Kyungsoo flexed his arm, showing whatever little muscles he has and Yifan burst into laughter when he saw that. The boy was just being too cute when he trying to make Yifan acknowledge his strength.

“Alright. But I can’t help to get worried. After all, you mean so much to me.” Yifan murmured the last part but Kyungsoo caught it. A smile was immediately formed on Kyungsoo’s face and he shyly bit his lips, trying not to smile so widely.

“Thank you hyung.” He rested his head on the older male’s arm again and the both of them fell into silence once more.

Kyungsoo was humming a random tune with his eyes closed. Yifan couldn’t help but to think about what Kyungsoo had said. He was not sure if he wanted to tell the red-headed male the truth. He has to. The last time he tried to hide the truth from Kyungsoo, things went terribly wrong. He had lost Kyungsoo once. He swore to never let go out the boy because it was just too painful. Much too painful.

“Soo.” Yifan spoke and Kyungsoo sat up straight, looking at his alpha. “About your question, I actually do have an answer to it.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit at those words. It would be awesome if he suddenly told Kyungsoo that there was a way to suppress the demon (or get rid of it). “Really? What is it?” Eyes shining brightly as he waited for a response.

Yifan sighed heavily before answering. “If the wolf demon does come back, then I would rather not live anymore.” The younger male’s eyes widened. What the hell does Yifan means he does not want to live anymore? “There is no way to get rid of the demon if it comes back, Soo. You managed to suppress it once but if it comes back, then you will have no control over it. The demon will take over your body and your soul and I don’t want to witness such things.”

“You mean, if it is back, then there is no way to chase it away?” Kyungsoo asked softly and Yifan nodded.

“That is why I said I don’t want to live. If I can’t protect you then what is my purpose on Earth? You are everything to me. If I lose you then life would mean nothing to me anymore.”

“Nonsense! That is a load of bull!” Kyungsoo shouted before wiping a stray tear away. “How can you weigh your life so carelessly like it doesn’t mean anything? What about the rest? How would they feel if you die?”

Yifan’s eyes widened in alarm when he saw Kyungsoo’s tears. His hands hovered over Kyungsoo’s head. He swore he felt his heart cracked. A ton of emotions rushing to his hearts, creating a vortex capable to swallowing him whole. He never meant to make his lover cry. “Soo, I-”

“Wu Yifan. I will hate you if you ever do anything silly just because something happens to me. Heck, I will even kill you even if it means coming back as a ghost.”

“Fine. I take back what I said, okay? Just don’t cry. Please?” The alpha wiped Kyungsoo’s tears away while Kyungsoo wordlessly nodded. “But that doesn’t change the fact about how important you are to me. Even if I live, it will still feel like I am dying. I love you, Soo. And I never want to lose you again.”

Before Yifan could continue talking, Kyungsoo threw his arms around his neck. The impact was so great that it made him fall backwards. Thankful for their abilities, Yifan managed to land safely on the ground before he cracked his head open. His back was against the ground, the grass tickling him. “Yifan...” The older male heard Kyungsoo sobbed and he pulled Kyungsoo away so that he can see the boy’s face.

“Soo? What’s wrong? Why are you crying again? Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere?” Yifan wanted to pull away to examine him but Kyungsoo held onto his alpha tightly, not wanting to let go.

"Have I ever told you I love you? Because it feels like it’s never enough. It is never enough to express my feelings for you. I’m losing time every day but I never told you how much I love you.” Kyungsoo murmured into the crook of Yifan’s neck and the older male felt warmth spreading through his body. His heart started beating faster at an abnormal rate (even faster when he kisses Kyungsoo) and he wondered if he was sick. Just then, he realised that the red-headed male has never told him that he loves him.

Kyungsoo pulled away to look at his alpha. Yifan was about to speak when Kyungsoo went ahead to shut it. He cupped Yifan’s face and shyly pressed his lips against Yifan’s. Without hesitation, Yifan’s right arm begin to wrap around the younger male’s waist while his left hand lay on Kyungsoo’s cheek, caressing the soft flesh beneath his fingers. It was the first for Kyungsoo to initiate anything intimate with him, and hell was he elated.

Yifan decided to take a step further, prodding Kyungsoo’s lips open with his tongue. Letting his left hand trail behind his ears, rubbing the sensitive spot behind it. The sudden arousal had Kyungsoo open his lips, allowing Yifan to lead his tongue in, moistening the dry muscle within before pulling away.

Yifan reached out to his cheeks. Kyungsoo now has his whole body weight pressed against Yifan but the latter doesn’t mind. In fact, he loves it. It feels like Kyungsoo can fully trust him and rely on him. “You don’t have to tell me that you love me. I can feel it and that’s more than enough.”

Kyungsoo frowned a little at his words. “That makes me sound like I’m selfish.”

“Selfish? You?” The older male chuckled at his words. “You are nowhere near selfish, Soo. You are the most selfless person I’ve ever met and it scares me a little because of how kind you can be. You have to start thinking about yourself too.”

“If it makes you happy then I will.” The red-headed grinned before leaning in to kiss his alpha’s nose.

“You are being so touchy today.” Yifan realised, not that he was complaining though.

Kyungsoo let out a contended sigh. “Kris.” Yifan’s eyes widened a little at his birth name and wondered how Kyungsoo knew about it. “If you are wondering how I know about it, Yixing hyung told me, Kris Wu Yifan.”

“Heh, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are calling me that. It just means so much to me.” Yifan admitted. The moment he was born, Yujie named him ‘Kris’. Seeing how his ancestors were Chinese, Yifan had to have a Chinese name as well and it was ‘Yifan’. Yifan never really told anyone his birth name and he kind of gotten used to his Chinese name. Hardly anyone calls him ‘Kris’ so when someone does, it makes him so happy, especially if that someone is Kyungsoo.

“You know, before I realised I love you guys, noona once asked me a question. She asked whether I loved anyone from the pack, even if it was just one of you guys. I told her I didn’t know but now I know that I do and I know something else.” Kyungsoo looked into Yifan’s eyes, only confirming his thoughts. “It was you all along, Kris.”

Confusion flashed through Yifan’s eyes. “Me?”

Kyungsoo nodded before continuing. “I love everyone. I know it is impossible to love so many people at once, but I just do. Just thinking about separating with you guys makes it unbearable for me. Sometimes I wonder is it possible to love someone more than the other. I never thought it was possible but you proved me wrong. I love you, Kris and it pains for me to say this. But I think I actually love you more than the others.”

“No freaking way.” Yifan sat up, supporting Kyungsoo as he did so or the boy might lose his balance and fall into the lake. Kyungsoo comfortably sat on his alpha’s laps and he wrapped his legs around Yifan’s waist.

“Yes freaking way. It’s not like I do not love the rest. I still do but there is this… bond between us. If anything happens to me, I would think of you first. I know I do love the rest because my heart aches at the thought of losing them but when I thought about separating from you, I just feel like dying.”

Yifan leaned down to peck Kyungsoo’s lips. As a way of silencing him. “You don’t have to explain anymore. I understand and to say that I’m happy is an understatement.” He wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him to his chest, hugging him tightly. “I do not know what I did to deserve this. To have you say that you love me is already enough and now you tell me that you love me the most. I must be the luckiest guy in the universe.”

The doe eyed boy chuckled at his words as he rested on Yifan’s sturdy chest. “Don’t tell the others about it. It will be our own little secret.” Yifan nodded at his words and kissed the side of Kyungsoo’s head. *I’m sorry Yifan. The only reason why I am telling you how I really feel because this will be the last chance I would ever get to do so.*

Kyungsoo stared at the brown, wooden door in front of him. He could hear a few of his friends were still awake while the rest where already asleep. He, too, can hear that the guy in the room that he is standing outside has yet to turn in for the night. Kyungsoo reached out to knock on the door but before he could, he stopped himself. He was not sure of what he should say. Would he suspect Kyungsoo? Like Yifan, he is also very sharp.

Kyungsoo wanted to knock on the door again but this time round, the door was opened before he could. “Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiled at his blonde guardian who was leaning against the door. Jongin only has a pair of pants on and a towel around his neck.

“I was wondering how long you are going to stand outside.” Jongin gave a slight smirk and pulled Kyungsoo into the room and shutting the door. He wanted to wait for Kyungsoo to open the door, but he could not wait any longer and decided to do it himself.

“I wasn’t out for that long.” The red-headed male mumbled and sat on Jongin’s bed.

“You weren’t hyung, but just 5 minutes feels like a day while waiting for you.” He sat behind Kyungsoo and rested his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “So what brings you to my humble room at this time of the day? Or, err, night.”

The older male rolled his eyes at Jongin’s choice of words. “I was wondering if I can sleep over.” Jongin’s eyes widened at his words and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Kyungsoo saw that and laughed. “Close your mouth. You look like an idiot.”

Jongin snapped out of it and pretended to be offended. “You still love me though.” He mumbled.

“I do.” Kyungsoo kissed Jongin’s cheek, making the younger male blush. Kyungsoo was never the initiator and it made Jongin really happy at Kyungsoo’s actions. Kyungsoo then noticed that the younger male’s hair was still wet. “You are so old and yet you do not know how to take care of yourself. When are you going to stop making me worry about you?” Kyungsoo nagged as he took the towel from around Jongin’s neck, using it to dry Jongin’s hair.

“Never. I want to keep making you worry about me so that you can never leave my side.” Jongin joked as he wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist.

“I might leave if you break my heart by not taking care of yourself.” The doe eyed boy lied. There was no way he will leave just because Jongin does something stupid. He has to leave anyway and it would be tomorrow.

After eck and used it to dry Jongin'a minute of silence, Kyungsoo was done drying Jongin’s hair. He stood up and went to place the towel on the chair, arranging it such that it is able to dry before dawn. The younger male watched him, suddenly feeling like something was wrong. Kyungsoo was always the quiet one but today he started doing things he has never done before. And when he is quiet, he looks like he is contemplating really hard. Jongin patted on the spot where Kyungsoo last sat. Turning towards the sound, Kyungsoo went to him. Jongin turned Kyungsoo’s body around and leaned on his back. “Are you alright?” He asked, arms gently around Kyungsoo’s waist.

The red-headed male was situated between Jongin’s legs and he leaned back so he could rest on the younger male’s chest. “I should be the one asking you that question.” Daeyoung’s funeral was held a week ago and Jongin did not once shed any tears. The only time he did was when they finally buried him. Daeyoung was cruel and dangerous but he was, after all, Jongin’s father. Yixing knows that Jongin would want a proper burial for his father, so they searched for Daeyoung’s body after that fateful day. It was after much effort that they had finally found his body.

Jongin was still Jongin though, but everyone knows that his father death had left a deep scar on him. First his mother left him, and now his father. He was now officially an orphan and had Yujie took him under her wing on the day of the funeral. Kyungsoo knows how difficult it is to lose a family member and he wanted to be there for Jongin like how they had been for him when they found him. Jongin was not saying anything and it worries Kyungsoo. The doe eyed boy wanted him to talk, to confin