Rereading again this fanfic!! because it always make my day....
Good job author

Chapter 1: The plot.. The story plot is so.. argh i can't help but cry . you can't do this to our lovely yoong & hae . great. just great, authornim. /sobs/

Chapter 1: new reader here! omg i loved uypur stories, it such a good plot omg
i can't hide it how teart i am just read the story, its all about pain, loved, promised, and everything.
so in love with these stories.ㅠㅠㅠㅠ hope you make another yoonhae stories that made me feel upbeat. thanks fpr the wonderful story, you'd been doing a good job:')

Hello, here's your goody bag for participating in my TMaF semi-contest!
Plot: It is a delicate issue that I think needs to be handled with great care: first this is a Highschool AU fic, and second, it involves bullying. Highschool AU, as you probably realize, has a great tendency to be cliche –and unfortunately, your fiction is bordering that. I do understand that basically every single story out there has the tendency to be cliche, and at the very least, the plot twist about Donghae that you pulled out in the end brought something different about your fic, but there are some caveat about that. True, Donghae's twist at the end is not something unlikely –considering his state of mind, but I don't know, maybe it is too...abrupt? Or maybe it has something about Donghae's characterization, which I will elaborate later on.

I think the story has a good premise. I do not abhor highschool fic, and I was actually kind of excited reading your story, specifically with the little "notes game" that Donghae seemed to play on Yoona. Like this has all the materials to be the cute fluff. Apparently, this is more of a angst/tragedy fic –a genre that I completely do not mind, but I think, in your case could have been executed more strongly. The concept of your story is clear, the flow is nice –and I like how you keep the motives (Taeyeon and everything) at the middle-to-last part of the story. It surely is kind of the intriguing part of the story. The scenes were sufficient to depict the story. I think, however, your plot has an issue with realism. Bullying happens, but the dialogues and the characteristics in this fanfic, personally, kind of decrease the whole 'reality' part of it.

On a side note, I do like the premise of Yoonhae relationship here. I think it'd be better, however, to emphasize how Donghae comes to love Yoona, and not simply because she was the only one who "saw him". Then again, this may be your intention, so I don't really mind it there.

Characters: Be careful on Yoona, because she's quite Mary-sue-ish here. She snaps and gets angry, alright, but I still feel the sense of Mary Sue in her –and this should alert you. She comes up as too much of a "perfect" girl –particularly this is clearly seen because the other characters (Jessica, Tiffany, Taecyeon, and everyone else in that highschool) seem to have the typical bad/y personalities –making Yoona as the saint of them all –which, in real life, is quite unlikely.

Donghae too. I know dealing with a character who has "mental issues" like him is hard. I don't mind his mental breakdown or his stalker-ish behavior or his emotional tantrum. I don't mind those, because if he's been a character that is mentally abused and insecure (of Taeyeon) for a good part of his life, I think his reactions would be a normal reaction. The thing that really bugs me about Donghae is... his immaturity about some things. I love Donghae, but this Donghae just seems to be quite... "girly" and not man enough in my opinion. Beating up Taecyeon or doing all those things to "protect" Yoona does not seem to make me get rid of these thoughts. Maybe that's why the plot twist of him in the end kinda dissatisfies me. Donghae's deaths serves as a good point in the Plot sector, but not in the Character sector. There is no real/honest character development in Donghae –because despite having met Yoona, he actually remains the same and the only thing that changes is that he is now open about his love to Yoona.

Other characters do not intrigue me that much. Jessica and Tiffany have the tendency to be the usual y sidekicks and quite... shallow at that. I was actually glad on the parts where they seem to act on the interest of Yoona (protecting Yoona and all) but in the next scene, they seem to be completely different persons again.

Style: I like most of the opening lines of your scenes. They are simple but they are able to draw the people to read that particular scene. I think they are mostly effective first liner (for most of the scenes). I don't have real issue with the stylistic method of writing. It's not the best or most engaging writing style I've ever read, but it's not bad either. What I really have issue with is the dialogue. This still relates with the plot and probably character –there's hardly a sense of "reality" in the dialogues. Plainly speaking, some of the dialogues are not exactly mature. Oh by the way, be careful with the spelling, because I think you misspell some. Another thing to note is not to combine two or more characters' dialogues in one paragraph :)

Suggestion:
• Relate with yourself, with your surroundings and incorporate the sense of "reality" into your fic. This does not mean that you cannot make an AU fic with bullying as the issue, but I'd suggest you to really make it as realistic as it can be.
• Practice with dialogues
• Don't be afraid to add flaw to your characters. And be careful in analyzing the flaw as well. Action is not the same with character. For example, Yoona was angry when Donghae was treated that way did not mean that she was temperamental as a character. So, I don't think it's her flaw –and you need to find more flaws for her.
• Even when your fic is Yoonhae focused, you can create more dynamic with the other characters. Don't make them too "similar".

Favorite Parts:
• The concept: It's fun having to sneak into Donghae's mind through the messages/notes he left for Yoona in the blue notebook
• The poster. Hehe, you should really thank the poster maker, I think it is the 1st Runner Up for the Best Poster. It's beautiful and soothing
• The first liners
• The last line: 'He said that at my last breath, I will see the world's most beautiful thing. And that thing was you.' Boy! Isn't that such a beautiful line? I think it really is, and it's romantic and sweet and powerful at the same time. It creates the wonderful bitter-sweet effect after reading your fic. So kudos for that!

Chapter 1: Unique plot. :O I love it. :DD

Chapter 3: Ommo~~~ I like it, no I mean I love it. Thank You !

Chapter 3: YEEEEESSSSSS SEQUEL <33333 YOU'RE THE BEST