“You seem really ill-humored this morning, Mei.“

Like the morning before, she was sitting at the kitchen table before the clock even 7am. It was hot and the air stiff, even though the sun had a hard time to show in between the thick clouds which were hanging above Shanghai. Yet this time, she exactly knew what caused her mood to be that bad and regardless of how many times she wanted to shake it off, it would always catch up on her.

“I’m not, I’m totally fine!”

Mei’s lips curled up to a smile as she faced her mother who just happened to appear at the door. The woman just raised one of her brows, but didn’t intend to return anything for now. Casually, she walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on.

Mei was wondering why her mother would say that there was something wrong with her mood within the second when she saw her daughter. She had somehow thought that her facial expression wouldn’t give away so much, because she herself thought from the outside, she’d look quite normal, like always, just a little tired to the lack of sleep.

But apparently, her mother’s instincts were more developed than she had thought. Ever since Mei knew, her mother could always tell when she was ill-humored for whatever kind of reason, regardless of how hard she tried to hide it behind a fake smile and fake happiness. But after growing up, she had figured that faking everything just made it even worse and that some people wouldn’t even notice it.

But the woman was her mother after all. She would always know when her daughter was sad. It was an instinct which every woman would have.

“Where is Luhan?” She asked calmly.

“Still asleep.”

“And why are you already up this early? When you were fifteen, you used to watch dramas all night long and I had quite a hard time to get you out of bed for breakfast because you were too drawn into it.” The noises coming from the coffee machine slowly faded away and the woman put a mug in it, pressed the button and watched the freshly fine ground coffee fill the cup. It was the delicious scent which made Mei look up. “You want one too?”

Automatically, she nodded and got the currently filled cup placed in front of her while her mother waited for another one.

“I couldn’t sleep properly. Probably due to the heat.” Mei thought that it was at least worth a try to escape her mother’s questions. But as always, she wasn’t prepared that the woman somehow always could lure the truth out.

“Due to the heat in your room or due to the heat in your heart?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Mei protested, cupping the mug and leading it to , taking a sip of the flavorsome coffee. (In reality, she exactly knew what her mother was talking about.)

The woman took her coffee and seated herself across of the table in front of the girl, staring at her intensely with a gaze she didn’t want to define. She knew that gaze too well; the one with the deep look and the slight smirk on the lips; the one which tells: I know everything. Quickly, Mei shifted her sight on the table plate and took another sip, but this one was too hot, almost burning the tip of her tongue. Aggressively, she replaced the cup on the table.

“Alright.” The woman decided to ask in another way. “How did the meeting with Luhan and his girlfriend turn out?”

The fact that Mei didn’t even look up from her coffee cup and the fact that she remained silent told her mother everything she had been suspicious about once she encountered her daughter at the kitchen table.

It had always been that way. That Mei backed off when she got caught. She never snapped at someone, she never tried to deny it, probably because she knew there was no reason to fight it when her body reactions told otherwise. Especially not, when it was her mother who, apparently, could look into her soul. With such a reaction, she expressed that she was cocooning herself, protecting herself from any further harm – because the words hurt her.

“I see. So they’re back together. Or at least they want to get back together.” Mei’s mother shifted her cup along the table, sliding it from one hand to the other, precisely paying attention that she wouldn’t spill a sip. “You were too late.”

With a loud noise, Mei had forcefully dropped her coffee back on the table again without drinking from it anymore. She stood up and walked to the window to stay in front of it and look outside, turning her back to her mother. “Please don’t get me even started.”

“Why are you so heated up right now?” Question time again – although her mother exactly knew the answers already. She wanted her daughter to see a little inside of herself.

“Because I am so mad!” Mei blurted, partly angrily, partly upset.

“Mad at Luhan… or mad at yourself?”

Mei paused, trying to calm the different feelings fleeing through her stomach to keep her mind clear for even a minute that morning.

Was she mad at Luhan? Yes, because he said he’d give Lin another chance although he told her he didn’t bear any feelings for his ex anymore.

Was she mad at her herself? Yes, because she didn’t make up her mind earlier to prevent Luhan from taking the wrong decision.

And probably, she was mad at Lin as well, just because the girl somehow barged into their road trip.

“I am mad at Luhan.” Mei then said strongly and counted herself as lucky because in that moment, her mother wasn’t able to see her face (which was full of insecurity and doubt).

“Why?” Her mother questioned.

Mei lowered her head and grabbed on the fabric of the curtain on either of her sides. Her voice was slow and kind of insecure when she spoke. “Because I don’t want him to be with her.”

It was silence which laid itself down on the mother and daughter when they didn’t exchange words for minutes. And it was the woman who broke everything off. She cleared everything up in one sentence and, at the same time, she also put her daughter in the darkness of uncertainty.

“It’s not Luhan’s fault. It shouldn’t be him you should be mad at.”

Back then, Mei’s mother probably knew Mei’s heart better than herself. Back then, Mei didn’t get any of the words her mother had spoken, especially not this part. In the moment, she wanted to question the meaning of the sentence, it was a happy, “Good morning!” Which hindered her from doing it.

(And Mei was never supposed to ask her mother about this again, but to find it out by herself not too long after that day.)

“Good morning Luhan! Have you slept well? I hope so, because you two have quite a long ride ahead of you.” The woman flashed a smile at Luhan who just yawned in that moment. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please!” He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair to make it look properly. “And no worries, I’m well-rested! And, good morning, Mei.”

Mei turned around and