Mei was sitting at the kitchen table early in the morning. The clock didn’t even show 7am, yet the hot summer sun already caused the whole apartment to heat up, filling the rooms with stuffy air, although the windows were wide open. She didn’t know whether it was only the weather or something else which made her feel that way, but she had the feeling the air was suffocating her. Ever since Luhan was gone, she couldn’t get back to sleep, but sitting around and waiting wasn’t the right solution either.

Mei didn’t understand why she was standing behind the entrance door coincidentally. (But truthfully, she got there on purpose to eavesdrop - which she would never admit to anyone.) She just leaned her ear against the door and heard Luhan and Lin talking about meeting somewhere the next morning before she needed to go back to Beijing. Mei’s mother’s invitation of coming in and taking dinner with them was refused (and Mei was relieved).

Usually, it wasn’t Mei’s style to lurk around people who were holding a serious conversation. She didn’t find that manner proper or fair, yet she still eavesdropped their conversation (and she didn’t feel bad at all). When Lin was gone and Luhan finally came in, he didn’t say anything about the talk at all. He just informed them that he was going to meet his ex the next morning to talk again.

Mei could understand why needed to speak to each other, though. Where Luhan didn’t feel something for her for a long time already, she was probably still madly in love with him. And everything had ended with a phone call, after he had always been avoiding a confrontation.

It was wrong of him to run away from the reality, because in the end, it would always catch up on one. People could never run away from their responsibilities forever. And although it was wrong, Mei could still understand Luhan in the end.

They were probably very much alike when it came down to talking about their feelings – they would have a hard time to do so. It took Mei almost a year to tell Ren face to face that she loved him. Through the phone and through messengers, it was always easier. Mainly, she was never really good in facing people with any kind of confessions or problems, which was why she would always give in to avoid such talks.

And apparently, Luhan was like that as well. Mei noticed how he was very quiet during dinner, barely talking with the warm and infectious happiness. His gaze was glued on his food the whole time and right after eating, he went to his room to go to sleep immediately. (Mei could imagine too well, that he was still up for a long time.)

Although Mei could understand that the confrontation was necessary, she was still nervous and a little scared. And it was the moment she realized that she was feeling this way when she found out that the suffocation was not coming from the air but from her own feelings.

Mei had the feeling that, despite how right and how necessary the confrontation was, that it was wrong. It was wrong if it had the outcome which scared her the most.

“You’re up very early.”

Mei lifted her gaze and saw her mother coming into the kitchen, seating herself across the table.

“Good morning,” Mei greeted her with a smile and her mother yawned in response, letting out some words which should probably return the “Good morning.”

“It’s an early morning,” the woman then said, “What are you doing at this time? Usually, you would wake up when I’m already gone.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Mei admitted and sighed.

“Really? Why so?” Her mother stood up and went to the kitchen counter, turning on the coffee machine which instantly let out some loud noises, preparing the system.

“It’s too hot,” she answered, but the majority of her answer was a lie.

“Did you eat yet?”

“No, I’m not hungry.”

Mei’s mother placed the mug back on the counter and turned around while the coffee machine slowly became quieter, signalizing that it was ready to be used soon. “You can’t sleep, you can’t eat… If I wouldn’t know it better, I’d say you’re in love. But you actually already are, right?”

“Right.” Yes they may be signs of people being freshly in love, but Mei wasn’t freshly in love with Ren. She was worried about Luhan that it almost made her feel sick.

“But I know better, so say what’s bothering you.” The woman forgot her coffee and leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms and flashing a meaningful smirk at her daughter.

One of the things why it was much more relaxing to live with her father was that he couldn’t read her reactions and facial expressions as good as her mother. Whenever Mei got quieter, didn’t talk much anymore or avoided other people, she immediately knew that something was up with her daughter. Her sixth sense always led her to the right assumptions, whether she got a bad mark or made one of her friends angry – her mother was always right.

(And so was she now.) “It’s Luhan, isn’t it?”

Mei didn’t answer. She just puckered her lips and stared at the table, avoiding eye contact with her mother. Again, this was one of the confrontations which made her feel really uncomfortable, because there was no escape. When it came down to her mother, she needed to say the truth.

“So, what’s bothering you?”

When Mei looked up, she saw the grin on her mother’s face, which was not mean, but more omniscient. (She already knew the answer.)

After a while, she finally gave in. “He can’t go back to her. They can’t go back together.”

“And you have the right to say this, because…?” The sound of the coffee machine was long faded away and only the red light was blinking, telling that the automaton was ready. Yet, Mei’s mother doesn’t pay attention to it. Her eyes twinkled with delight. She was challenging her daughter, wanting to hear everything she was assuming with her own words.

“Because he’s not happy with her,” Mei blurted, taking her mother by surprise. Usually, it would take her longer to make Mei talk. “I have the right to say this, because I don’t think he should go back to someone he can never be happy with. I know he won’t be when he’s with her. Yet, I’m still afraid that he does.”

“Why would he do so then?”

“Because like you, I think that Luhan needs happiness after everything he’s been going through. But it’s definitely not his girlfriend which is giving it to him. I’m afraid that he might search for happiness in her, when she’s clearly not.”

Speaking so straight-forward, the woman was surprised, yet still impressed by her daughter. When she left Mei behind with her father and grandmother, she had been a decent and young teenager, but this was a grown-up, more self-confident woman.

“I saw him looking at her and admittedly, I saw him speaking to her, not to mention his behavior after she appeared. Whatever she caused him to feel – it was definitely not happiness.

Happiness came when you saw a person. It was the effect that caused your face to light up suddenly, to put a smile on your lips and cause your heart to flutter, because you were so glad; so filled with bliss just because of a person’s presence.

“So, why are you still sitting here then?” The smile on her mother’s face was delicate and Mei immediately shook her head; her boost of confidence was gone now.

“I don’t have the rights to tell him what’s right and what’s wrong.” Her voice got quieter and she massaged her fingers in nervousness. “I’m nobody in his life.”

“That’s not true.” The woman disagreed. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have such an effect on him.”

Back then, Mei didn’t exactly know what her mother meant with that sentence. And truthfully, she also didn’t pay much attention to it. Back then, she still thought she was nothing more than a mere friend to Luhan. After all, she still clung to the thought that it was just the