Taemin felt the cold wind on his skin. Immediately, his instinct told him to wake up, but under the blanket it was so warm. The bed was so fluffy and soft. It was so comfortable. He didn’t want to wake up. But… why was his heart beating that loud? Wait, that wasn’t his heartbeats.
“Minho,” Taemin gasped as he noticed Minho lying next to him. The older had his arm wrapped around Taemin’s waist as if he were afraid Taemin could disappear.
Minho was deep in his sleep and yet his eyebrows plunged into a frown. Carefully Taemin straightened them with his fingertips. Why was he like this, even in his sleep? It hurt seeing the older like this. Laying down, Taemin cuddled himself into Minho’s embrace. Moments like this made him believe nothing had changed. Still, he knew he was lying to himself. He hadn’t forgotten what happened. No, he hadn’t, but it was ok to play dumb for a short moment. Just a moment, pretending everything were fine.
“You know, I don’t even know how to call you?” Taemin flinched as he heard Minho’s voice. Having his head leaned against the older’s chest made Minho’s voice sounded even deeper. Taemin raised his head and their eyes met.
“But you’re not telling me your name, are you?” M added, and as he expected the younger kept silent.
Seconds later, Taemin looked away. “Tae,” he murmured.
“What?” Minho couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice.
“You can call me Tae. Is that enough for you?” The younger repeated and by that a smile appeared on Minho’s lips.
“Yes, that’s enough for now.”
Something was in the air, and they both felt it. The situation felt so wrong and yet so right. The other was so close to them and yet so far away.
“Was any of it true?” Finally, Minho said the only question he wanted to ask if it were up to him. It was never Kim Kibum, it was always just Tae he wanted to know about.
“When you said you loved me? Was that the truth?” Minho finally said it out loud. The younger reached for Minho’s hand, slowly as if he were asking for permission, and Minho allowed him. He placed Minho’s hand on his chest, right where his heart was.
“Can you feel it? You’re the only one who can make it beats like that.” Taemin explained, “I don’t know how else I can prove it to you.”
“That could also mean you’re afraid of me,” Minho argued, but deep down he knew he wanted to believe Tae. He wanted to believe Tae’s speeded up because of him.
“I told you already. I’m not afraid of you.” Taemin said with a clear voice. He meant it and Minho should know it.
“After everything? After I…” Minho doubted, but Taemin interrupted him. Grabbing his trembling hands, Taemin replied while locking their eyes.
“I’m not afraid of you and there is nothing you can do to change that.”
“Then you’re an idiot,” Minho replied.
“If you’re the reason, then I’m fine with it.” Taemin didn’t lie. He wasn’t afraid of the older and he would never be. But he was afraid of the things Minho would do because of him. Taemin had realized it long ago; they are toxic for each other. One day they’d break each other, and that… that was what scared him.
“You said you’re sincere, but you’re still not telling me where Kim Kibum is. How can I believe you?” Minho took the chance.
“If I tell you, I wouldn’t be the person you fall in love with, don’t you think?” Taemin asked back, and this time it was Minho who fell into silence until he decided to tell the younger the truth.
“What if I tell your life depends on it? What if I tell you, it’s either your life or his?” That was easier than Minho expected. Maybe he should have done it sooner. The boss realized he had been an idiot… a jerk.
“You don’t know it, but I owe Kibum hyung a lot. Every good that happened to me was paid by his pains. I haven’t known it before, so I took it for granted. But now I will not trade his life for mine.” Taemin explained. It hit Minho like a truck how little he really knew about the person he married. It sounded like there was a long story about that Kibum and Tae, and it needed to be told. But not now, they couldn’t afford to waste time.
“I knew you’d be like that,” Minho said, standing up. He wondered why he did fall for this person. Tae was the complete opposite of him. Tae was loyal, gentle, and brave. Tae was the light, while he was nothing but darkness.
Yet, that was fine, if that was what he needed to be in order to protect the light. Sighed, Minho opened the small box on the nightstand which Tae hadn’t noticed until now. Minho had his back turned to Taemin, but the younger could hear the click as the box opened.
“You don’t have to be scared,” Minho added with a monotone voice and immediately Taemin sensed danger.
“Minho, what’s that?” Taemin shuttered as the older turned around with a syringe in his hand.
“Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.” Minho said and Taemin shook his head.
“Minho, what is that?” The younger repeated, emphasizing every word he said.
“Something that’ll help you tell me the truth. It won’t harm you.” Minho explained though he knew his words wouldn’t be any comfort. And he was right. As soon as he said that, Taemin jumped from the bed, and he was just glad Minho had dressed him after he passed out, or else he would have shamed himself to death. Taemin ran to a corner of the room, making the distance between them the longest possible.
“Minh