Author’s Note: Omfg what is this WHAT IS THIS OMG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He took the light and left me in the dark

He left me with a broken heart

Now I’m on my own

If anybody sees him, shine a light on him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo was happy with the way he lived.

They weren’t rich, but it was enough.

He and his family lived in a small town. It only had one mall and a few convenient stores. Kyungsoo’s family owned a small farm and they made money out of it. Farmers didn’t make that much money, but Kyungsoo always got what he needed. Toys. A new jacket. Clothes and books. His father would buy him something whenever he earned money even without Kyungsoo asking for anything.

It had been two years since Kyungsoo graduated high school, but instead of going to the big cities to take the opportunity to study, he decided to stay. His mother thought it was such a shame, really, because his English was good, but Kyungsoo didn’t want to leave his parents. They had been very kind to him and it was the least he could do, to stay and continue to help with the farm. Kyungsoo buried his dream to go to Seoul because it would cost a lot and he didn’t want to burden his parents. Besides, he could still make some money by taking part time jobs between university classes.

Kyungsoo loved his family.

His parents had sacrificed a lot by raising him and he was grateful for that. He didn’t want to be an insubordinate kid and turned against them.

Which was why, when his father told him that he needed to get married in order to pay the debt, Kyungsoo said yes. It wasn’t easy because he had just turned twenty and there were still a lot of things he wanted to do. If he could decline he would’ve done so but the sight of his father sobbing on his lap, begging for forgiveness crushed him. The other day when Kyungsoo was out, the man came with his debt collectors and almost took everything in the house with him but his eyes stopped upon seeing Kyungsoo’s picture.

The whole house and the farm or his son—it was his choice.

Kyungsoo’s eyes were watering when his father sobbed more how he couldn’t let him go, because the man that wanted to marry him was no good and how could he give his son to someone like that? His mother cried at the end of the room, unable to step closer to both of them. It was a horrible choice, but...losing the farm meant they would lose their life.

So Kyungsoo agreed.

His father lifted up his face to get a good look at him and Kyungsoo the elder’s hair sadly. He had gotten much older and the wrinkles in his face showed it all. Kyungsoo wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.

“I’ll marry him, Appa, Umma,” Kyungsoo said softly. He did his best to stay calm because the last thing he needed was their endless tears. “But if it’s all right, I will do it under one condition.”

They waited quietly and his mother sniffled at the end of the room.

Kyungsoo’s lips twitched into a small smile.

“I want to go to Seoul before the marriage...”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

His wish was granted.

A few days before his departure, the man came to their house and Kyungsoo found himself swallowing in disgust. He examined Kyungsoo like he was some sort of display mannequin and smirked. The man told him if he ever ran away, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill his parents.

Kyungsoo indignantly retorted that he wouldn’t run away.

He just wanted to enjoy his freedom while it lasted.

So there he was in Incheon International Airport, staring at everything with his jaw dropped. There were a lot of people—like a lot, and everyone was busy with the phones in their hands. It was new to him. Kyungsoo shifted his eyes to someplace else at a few girls that wore fewer clothing than they should and blinked at a few guys who were clad in bright color shirts that might have blinded him literally.

Seoul was amazing.

Tall buildings were everywhere and Kyungsoo kept on looking up. He almost tripped over a rock and that was when he started paying attention to the road ahead. Kyungsoo fished his hand into one of his pockets and felt the amount of money. His father had given him a bit too much—maybe as a token of his guilt—and Kyungsoo didn’t refuse, even though he himself had some money from his savings.

He wanted to feel paradise before living in hell.

Kyungsoo asked for a month and a month was all he had. Four weeks and three days should be enough, but his parents negotiated with the man to allow the trip to be extended to five weeks. So Kyungsoo had five weeks (he felt like he was counting the days to his miserable death). He needed to live his life, to do the things he hadn’t done before flying back to his hometown. The man was definitely not someone he imagined he would spend the rest of his life with, but...what could he do? Kyungsoo hopelessly sighed and shook his head.

He needed to have fun and not mourn.

Kyungsoo then checked in at the motel (because hotels were much more expensive and he wouldn’t be able to afford them for a month living) and went to get some rest. It was his first trip after all and it was quite tiring sitting for hours in the airplane. After he woke up, Kyungsoo took a quick shower and he felt refreshed. The male was about to put on his shoes when a question appeared.

What are you going do to now...?

Sure, it was easy to tell his parents that he needed some time to himself before the marriage, but the truth was that he freaked out. He thought that by coming here, he would be able to calm down and relax but no, it made it worse. Something churned at the bottom of his stomach when he stepped his foot in Seoul. It made him want to live happily.

Which was a useless thought because his life had been decided and he wasn’t going to be happy.

To be honest, Kyungsoo wanted to yell at his parents for being stupid. Did it mean all this time, everything he received—those toys, those clothes—came from the loan? Because they gave him so many things they couldn’t afford that it ended as debts?? Kyungsoo sniffed in exasperation. Maybe his whole life had been a lie.

He finally put on his shoes and decided to grab dinner.

After he was done, Kyungsoo wandered around a bit. He had nothing to do and the idea of staying at the motel at this hour sounded boring. He saw a bunch of high school girls giggling as they walked past him and it brought a smile to his face. Having fun was exactly what kids his age should do. He was supposed to have fun, get stressed out during exams and definitely have bouts of extreme happiness when holidays had arrived.

Kyungsoo decided to stop in a crowded street and leaned slightly against the street lamp. There were girls with extremely tight tank tops and miniskirts talking to random guys. Kyungsoo rubbed his arm lazily and he was staring off into the distant when someone spoke to him.

“How much are you?”

Kyungsoo snapped back to reality and he turned to the source of the voice. A tall guy with such a scary face stood before him. If there was an audition for a horror movie, the man would definitely pass to be the killer. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure he understood what he meant though. “Um...excuse me?”

“I said, how much are you?”

“How much—“ Kyungsoo went blank and the male narrowed his eyes at him.

“Well? You’re standing at this street along with the other , so you’re definitely selling yourself right? I’m gonna ask you for one more time, how much are you?”

Kyungsoo’s face viciously turned crimson at the accusation and he turned his head to take a better look. Oh my God. He didn’t understand why he didn’t get the message sooner. The street was crowded, of course, but it was only then he realized it wasn’t a safe environment.

“Well?”

“I’m—I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo stammered. “I’m not—“

“It doesn’t matter,” the man stated as he leaned closer and Kyungsoo instinctively took a step back. “I like your face. How about doing it with me and I’ll still pay you?” He grinned darkly and flashed Kyungsoo a few fat bills from his pocket. “The longer you hold on, the bigger your fee.”

“Find someone else,” Kyungsoo replied with a quivering tone. “I’m not one of them.”

“You don’t have to be one—“

“Hey.”

There was a loud, terrifying sound and the next thing Kyungsoo knew, a kick flew past his face—just missing his face by few inches—and landed on the street lamp, forcing him and the bastard to part ways. Kyungsoo gasped in fear as he stepped back, but the kick wasn’t aimed at him. It was aimed more at the other male.

“He said he’s not one of them.”

The male said in annoyance as he glowered at the bastard.

“You touch him and your face will be like this street lamp.”

It only took three seconds for the scary man to turn pale and left. The male who had just rescued Kyungsoo slowly detached his foot off of the lamp and dusted his jeans. He turned and stared worriedly at him.

“Are you all right?”

Of course he wasn’t. Kyungsoo’s lips were trembling and his shoulders were shaking badly. “Y—yes. Thank—thank you.” He was about to say something else when a blond guy in.

“Zitao, you’ve damaged the poor street lamp,” he grunted as he placed a hand on the spot where Zitao’s foot was and rolled his eyes. “And what’s with the ‘your face will be like this street lamp’?”

“Flat,” Zitao answered nonchalantly. “You told me to help, Jongin-ah.”

“I did,” Jongin sighed in fake desperation. “I’ll just inform Jongdae to persuade your father to give more to the government.”

Kyungsoo watched the interaction silently and before he knew it, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He only realized it when the guy named Jongin turned to face him and gave him an unreadable stare before extending a hand to touch his cheek. Jongin wiped some of his tears away and gave him a calming smile.

“It’s all right now.”

Kyungsoo sniffed.

“Go home, it’s not safe around here,” Jongin patted Kyungsoo’s arm gently. “Can you go home by yourself?” He received a weak nod in return and Jongin nodded back. “Good. Take care of yourself, okay?”

There was something weird bubbled within him as Kyungsoo walked away. His tears had dried and all of a sudden, he felt tired. Kyungsoo brought a hand to his chest as he tried to understand what he felt. Zitao was the one who had saved him and yet, it was Jongin who had an effect on him.

Kyungsoo paused at the intersection and glanced over his shoulder.

Both Zitao and Kyungsoo were nowhere to be found.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

A few days had passed like a breeze and Kyungsoo had gotten more depressed.

He explored the small parts of Seoul in the past few days. He would feel light and amused but whenever he went back to the motel, Kyungsoo would remember his true intention of staying and it would make him gloomy again.

On his seventh day, Kyungsoo was beginning to get tired. Sure, exploring the city was a fun thing to do, but everything was so different compared to his hometown. Things were more pricey and he needed at least twenty to thirty minutes if he wanted to go somewhere.

Kyungsoo darkly stared at the motel’s set of breakfast. He had no appetite and yet he had to eat if he didn’t want to get sick. Kyungsoo exhaled in defeat and forcefully swallowed everything down his throat. He had just done eating when a pretty, skinny girl with red hair came to his table.

“Hello,” she greeted nicely.

“H—hello.”

“My name is Soojung, but everyone calls me Krystal,” Soojung introduced herself and grabbed his dirty plate. “Surely you’ve seen my sister Jessica at the front desk?” She smiled when Kyungsoo nodded. “I notice that it’s been a few days since you stayed here? Are you traveling by yourself?” Soojung got another mute nod and she seemed thoughtful. “I see.”

Kyungsoo took a sip from his glass.

“I...” Soojung trailed off and she looked embarrassed. “I might have heard a few things... I hope I don’t sound rude, but...Jessica-unnie is at the front desk most of the time. And she told me that you looked...lost. Like, terribly unhappy.”

Kyungsoo blinked in disbelief.

“Please don’t get angry at me,” Soojung quickly added. “I just—being unhappy , you know? Wait, um, why am I straying from the real topic. So there’s this nice place down the street, it’s a night club, and me and Jinri like to go there whenever we need refreshment. Well, it’s crowded but painfully annoying when you’re sober, but...” She dragged a hand down her face. “What am I saying to a tourist, dammit.”

Despite the fact that she almost seemed like she tried to lure him into an awful place, her intention was sincere. Kyungsoo’s lips curved upward.

“What to do there...?”

“Well,” Soojung paused awkwardly. “It’s a night club, so you...dance. You smoke. You drink. You can have if you want to. Just maybe not when you’re drunk? I don’t want you to wake up in the morning with hangover and no idea of what happened the night before.”

.

The word drained the color from his face.

“Don’t worry,” she shook her head and gave him a thumb up. “It’s Friday, and most of my friends are there. If anything happens, they will help you. I promise.”

With that, she grabbed Kyungsoo’s plate and walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop thinking about what Soojung had said.

He had never been to a night club before—or any other club, for that matter. And what did Soojung say about the place—something about he could dance? It sounded okay. Smoking and drinking weren’t an option and definitely not the last three letters that she had mentioned.

Kyungsoo was a , that much was obvious.

His mother had always taught him that he should give away his ity on his wedding night. Which meant that the rightful person to take it away from him was his husband. But Kyungsoo wasn’t going to marry the person he loved so why should he give it to him? The man was just taking him and his family for granted.

He wanted to lose his ity badly.

It didn’t matter with who, just as long as he lost it. So when that bastard touched him on their wedding night, he would find out that his first time wasn’t with him. Honestly, Kyungsoo had no idea how to do it. He hadn’t even been kissed before, but his anger was bigger than his uncertainty at the moment. His family was hurting because of it... Kyungsoo didn’t really care anymore.

However, his confidence sank the minute he arrived at the said club.

There were more than dozens of people who looked extremely better than him. Their outfits were eyecatching, while he... Kyungsoo looked down to himself. His clothes were damn boring. He almost turned around to leave but then he accidentally bumped onto someone. Kyungsoo hastily apologized and almost dashed away from the place, but he halted upon hearing the familiar name.

“Jongdae, watch your step!”

The male named Jongdae only cackled in response and soon they disappeared into the club.

Kyungsoo slowly turned around and pursed his lips. Jongdae...? He recalled the name being mentioned somewhere, but he couldn’t quite remember. Kyungsoo was still fixed on going back to the motel but when a group of boys passed by and one of them was exclaiming ‘let’s forget everything and have fun tonight!’ loudly, he hesitated.

He wanted to forget everything for a moment.

The doe eyed male winced painfully the minute he walked in. He had no idea if it had something to do with Friday night, but the place was packed with people. Smoke were filling the air and Kyungsoo coughed because it was somehow mixed with a foreign scent—maybe liquor. He stayed for a few minutes at the corner of the room, observing the place. Most of the guests were dancing on the dance floor, and the rest were scattered on the staircases and by the bar.

Kyungsoo went for the bar.

He randomly ordered a drink (it was the same order the girl had before him) and crossed his fingers because he wished it would taste good. Kyungsoo then settled on one of the empty stools. He was just staring blankly at the pool of people when he heard the conversation.

“Where’s your boyfriend, Jongdae-yah?”

Kyungsoo slowly craned his neck and he saw two guys standing by the bar near him. He wasn’t sure if handsome was the right word for them—they were pretty. One of them had his eyeliner on and it made his eyes looked even prettier. Kyungsoo noticed a few guys staring boldly at them.

“I think he’s late,” Jongdae replied and he was the one without the eyeliner. He nudged the eyeliner guy playfully. “I’m not like you, Baekhyun-ah, I still can function properly even without Chanyeol by my side.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun protested and Jongdae laughed.

Kyungsoo smiled quietly to himself and fixed his attention back in front of him. Even so, he was thinking. It was nice to have a friend... Kyungsoo never really had a close friend back in his hometown. But the chemistry between Jongdae and Baekhyun beside him was dazzling and a tiny percent of him wanted it. He wanted friendship.

He wanted to be happy.

“Hi.”

Kyungsoo blinked and realized someone had standing in front of him. “Y—yes...?”

“Just wondering if you’d like to dance with me?” The male asked and grinned. He didn’t seem like a bad guy, but something within Kyungsoo told him no. “Or we can just have fun.”

Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry and he didn’t like the way the other male stared at him. He gulped thickly and his grip on the glass tightened. Kyungsoo wanted to say no, but... Wasn’t it why he came? To give himself to someone that it didn’t even matter who? He must have looked torn apart because Jongdae spoke to him firmly.

“Hey,” Jongdae called out and Kyungsoo turned to him. His expression was dead serious when he spoke. “Don’t go if you don’t want to.”

I don’t want to, Kyungsoo’s eyes obviously answered. But...

“It’s your loss,” the male shrugged nonchalantly and he was about to walk away, but Kyungsoo grabbed the end of his shirt. “Change your mind?” He received a hesitant nod as a reply and grinned triumphantly as he took Kyungsoo’s hand and brought him someplace else.

“Call Chanyeol,” Jongdae told Baekhyun as he continued to stare at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was lead to the dance floor at first, but then the stranger suggested they headed to the bathroom instead for more fun. He didn’t know how dangerous the situation was until he was thrown inside the unoccupied stall and Kyungsoo moaned in pain. The impact hurt his shoulder a lot. Had he been a city boy, he probably would know what to do in a situation like this. But he wasn’t. Kyungsoo clutched his hurt shoulder and looked up in fear.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“ you, what else?” The male snorted as he stepped closer. Kyungsoo was pushed down to sit on the toilet and he gasped when the other male had his hand on his neck. “Don’t play innocent, kid. Surely you know things like this. All of the city boys know.”

But I’m not.

Kyungsoo’s hand was grabbed roughly and the next thing he knew, it was guided to the man’s crotch. He tried to yank it away but it was no use. Kyungsoo opted for screaming for help instead, but before he got the chance to do so, an angry voice popped out of nowhere.

“Let him go.”

Fortunately, the male hadn’t locked the stall but unfortunately for him because the door came flying and it hit his head. Kyungsoo shut his eyes as he whimpered in fear and the male screamed in agony. His hands were placed on his ears and he snapped his eyes open when a pair of strong hands gripped his wrists.

“...you’re...?”

Kyungsoo’s lips were trembling when Jongin pulled him out of the stall, leaving the writhing man alone in the stall. He instinctively ran behind the blond haired male for protection, peeking slightly at his attacker’s condition. When Jongin groaned, he thought it was going to be a guilty protest—just like the other day when he and Zitao saved him.

“Damn,” Jongin sighed desperately. Only this time, it sounded real. “Dad’s gonna get so angry.”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t drunk.

He didn’t even finish his glass the night before.

But he was starting to reconsider the possibility when he woke up in a strange place the next morning. Kyungsoo blinked rapidly for a moment before sliding off of the comfortable bed. It was certainly different than his own bed or even the motel’s. He paused when he realized he was clad in a pair of silk pajamas—one that he certainly wouldn’t be able to afford.

Where am I...?

Kyungsoo sleepily rubbed his eyes and looked around with an eye. He paused momentarily at the huge clock on the wall. It was fifteen minutes past eleven at night and he was in an unknown place. Kyungsoo looked around for one more time, making sure no one was in the room. There was a light peeking between the small gap under the door and he carefully turned the knob.

The view of Jongin typing on his notebook greeted Kyungsoo. The latter froze on his track as the blond haired male continued to stare at whatever it was that he was doing with a frown. Jongin was focused, but the sound of a door creaking took his attention.

Kyungsoo fearfully took a step back.

“Hey,” Jongin closed his notebook with a swift tug and stood up. “You’re awake.”

Kyungsoo’s hand was shaking so much that he balled it into a fist and pressed it against his lips. “Um...why am I here...?”

Jongin frowned. “You didn’t remember? You passed out in the club.”

Kyungsoo only batted his eyelashes in response and his eyes widened after ten seconds. “I—I did?”

“I tried to contact your parents,” Jongin motioned Kyungsoo to walk inside as he threw himself onto the couch. “Or your girlfriend. Boyfriend. ...friend. But your phone is off and when I tried to turn it on, it asked for a password.”

“O—oh,” Kyungsoo stammered nervously as he approached closely to Jongin, but he didn’t sit down. He trailed his fingers on the arm rest. “I’m sorry...” Kyungsoo turned beet red as he gestured himself with his hands. “Um...this...?”

Jongin kept his expression straight. “I didn’t see anything.”

Kyungsoo’s face turned redder and he looked down in embarrassment. “O—okay...”

“Can’t possibly let you sleep in jeans,” Jongin retorted and glanced at the clock. “It’s late. Why don’t you continue your sleep and I’ll drive you back in the morning? But be sure to inform your parents first. Wouldn’t want them to think that you’re missing.”

There was a pang in Kyungsoo’s chest at the reminding of his parents.

“...they’re not in Seoul.”

“Oh? So you live here alone?”

“...I travel alone,” Kyungsoo corrected. His eyes were anywhere but Jongin. “I stay in a motel so there’s no really need for me to contact them.”

Jongin narrowed his eyes. “You don’t live here...?” It somehow explained everything. “Where do you live...?”

“It’s a small town, a village actually, just a few hours by plane.”

“Why did you come here?”

Kyungsoo gnawed on his lower lip at the question and he looked away. There was something about Jongin that made him uncomfortable and yet strangely calming at the same time. It was weird, really, because it was like Kyungsoo wanted to stay close and run away from the tanned male. Maybe he felt intimidated...? His eyes scanned around the room and he knew those furnitures weren’t cheap.

“What’s your name?”

Kyungsoo’s line of sight abruptly went back to Jongin. “...Kyungsoo.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin repeated slowly. “I’m Jongin.”

He couldn’t bring himself to reply that yes, he knew, because his heart stuttered at how gentle Jongin’s smile was.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo left early before Jongin even woke up.

He did his best to not make any sound as he dragged himself across the living room. Jongin wasn’t in the bedroom, so it didn’t come as a surprise to him when he spotted the other male sleeping on the couch. His notebook was charged and the screen was still on. Kyungsoo absently stole a glance at the opened electronic device and he was stunned.

Jongin was studying politics.

Kyungsoo had to reread it before glancing at Jongin’s sleeping face. Politics...? He really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Jongin looked more like a dancer—or, or a rapper—than a political student. Kyungsoo held his breath when the sleeping male stirred slightly and without thinking, he shuffled for the front door.

Soojung was yawning widely when Kyungsoo stepped out of the taxi. Her eyes gleamed with excitement at the fact that he went back to the motel in the morning. She stopped sweeping the ground and pranced happily to him.

“Oppa! Did something happen last night?”

“Um...” Kyungsoo hesitated. “Yeah.”

Soojung let out a squeal and gave him her best puppy eyes. “The place was good, right? Did you find someone special? Did you...” she whispered mysteriously. “...get into bed?”

Kyungsoo didn’t think anyone in his hometown would be as blunt as her, but he waved it off because yeah, he did get into a bed. ...to sleep. He gave her a smile that was as mysterious as her whisper and patted her head. “I’m gonna go to my room now.”

“Yes, Oppa,” she beamed. “Yes, you totally deserve the rest.”

Kyungsoo spent the rest of the day in the motel. A part of him felt guilty for leaving without telling Jongin, after all the male had saved him—twice. He closed his eyes in distress. It had only been more than a week since his stay in Seoul and things hadn’t gotten better. But then again...how exactly did he wish things would get better...?

Ever since Kyungsoo went back to the motel in the morning, Soojung hoped everything was all right for the older male. She only had Jessica as a sister, so when Kyungsoo showed up a week ago with a pretty face and a kind smile, she considered him as an older brother. Soojung always tried to talk to him, but the chance to do so was just a few days ago. Kyungsoo had always looked burdened with something. That was why she recommended the night club because she couldn’t think of a better place to release the stress.

It was Seoul afterall.

Soojung wished to see more of Kyungsoo’s smile, but three days had passed since their last morning encounter and maybe her hope didn’t come true. Kyungsoo looked even worse than before. There were obvious bags under his eyes and his body had become thinner than before. She was worried. Soojung wanted to talk more to him, but Kyungsoo didn’t allow her. It was as if he had built a thick wall around him because he didn’t seem to be interested in talking to anyone.

But on the next day, she just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Oppa,” Soojung sternly said as she refilled his glass with warm tea. “I’m going to the night club again with Jinri. You should come with us tonight. You need a break from—from anything it is that you’re going through. Okay?”

Kyungsoo stared at her blankly. “You go with your friend, Krystal... I’m just gonna stay.”

“But what’s the use of staying in Seoul if you’re not having fun?” Soojung half whined. “I’m gonna wait for you after my shift is over. It’s around eight, all right? I’ll see you tonight.” She sent him a piercing glare. “I’ll kick down your door if you don’t show up, Oppa.”

The doe eyed male opened his mouth to reply, but the girl had already stormed off. He then went back to his room and sighed heavily at the calender by the nightstand. There were several crosses at the dates—indicating just how many days he had wasted. Kyungsoo facepalmed and whimpered weakly. If he kept on doing this, a month would pass by quickly and then... Kyungsoo didn’t even dare to finish the sentence.

His phone vibrated all of a sudden and Kyungsoo just stared. It was his mother. They hadn’t talked to each other for the past few days and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to... Kyungsoo finally picked up after seconds of pondering.

“Umma.”

There was a moment of silence at the end of the line. “Kyungsoo-yah...?”

Tears were starting to form in the rim of his eyes and he almost choked on nothing. Her tone was hurt and Kyungsoo was scared if something bad had happened to her or his father. “U—Umma? What’s wrong? Is everything all right?”

“...I’m the one who’s supposed to ask you that. How’s...your life, Kyungsoo?”

“It’s...” Kyungsoo trailed off. “It’s fine. I’m fine. How are you and Appa?”

“...we’re good, dear. Don’t worry about us...” She sighed. “I just miss you...”

Kyungsoo felt like crying but still, he managed to suppress the tears that threatened to fall. “I miss you too, Umma. I’ll see you in a few weeks...?”

“Yes. Yes, I suppose so...”

“Good. I—I got to go.”

“Kyungsoo, wait.”

“Yes...?”

He could imagine his mother biting her nails while talking to him on the phone. It was a bad habit that happened everytime she felt down. The silence was torturing him until she quietly spoke.

“That man...” she started and Kyungsoo gulped at her tone. “...ruins our live. He ruins our family. Don’t let him ruin yours, Kyungsoo...”

Kyungsoo didn’t have the strength to hold back anymore. A tear fell onto his cheek and he hastily clasped a hand over his mouth to prevent the sobbing. “B—but...how...?”

“...you can run. You’re far away from here, you can run...”

“No,” Kyungsoo cried weakly. “He said he’s going to kill you both if I run... I can’t do that... I don’t want you to be hurt...”

“Then change yourself, Kyungsoo.”

“Ch—change myself...?”

“Appa...has been telling that man that you’re still innocent. That you’re still young and bright. You’ve never done anything wrong in your life before...” She paused. “Forget everything I taught you, sweetheart. Make love, Kyungsoo. Try smoking. Drink beer. Dress improperly. Anything, anything that will make him regret his decision of marrying you. Anything.”

Kyungsoo feebly sobbed against the pillow after the call was disconnected. He felt utterly weak. Sure, he planned to do the same a week ago, but now the thought of it scared him. Even though it would be a perfect revenge, the ‘no’ in Kyungsoo was still bigger than the ‘yes’. It came to him like a tsunami the other day, when he was pushed into the stall and suddenly, everything wasn’t as pretty as he thought.

It was scary.

Nevertheless, Kyungsoo still showed up a few minutes before eight by the front desk and Soojung’s eyes shone with happiness.