Author's Note: My friend fell asleep while reading this and I did too. I'm sorry if it happens to you too ;;;;;;;; I honestly spent some time thinking whether should I post it or not...forgive my failure...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

Simply because he thought no one would listen if he said something.

Sometimes it bothered him too much that he wished he was able to say something—anything, but he couldn’t. He just didn’t want to start a fight...he had always hated arguments. His parents used to argue all the time with raised tones and Kyungsoo would lock himself in his room, pressing his hands against his ears, wishing that they would just stop. He tried talking when they had a scary argument once, but it didn’t end well. His father slapped him hard and his mother scolded him that it wasn’t his problem.

Kyungsoo learned that everything would be alright if he said nothing.

That reason was probably why the male stayed quiet, no matter how difficult it was.

So when Chanyeol started to change on the third month of their relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

Was it something he did? Was it something he said?

They weren’t exactly the loud or cheerful couple, but it didn’t mean that they were unhappy. Despite his goofy personality, Chanyeol was surprisingly mature and he treated Kyungsoo well. They didn’t communicate much, but at least they talked and for him, it was enough.

There were times when Kyungsoo wanted to ask. The question was already there on the tip of his tongue, but it never got out. Whenever Chanyeol turned to him with his brows raised high, Kyungsoo’s resolve wavered and he would crawl back into his cave and hide in his comfort zone, swallowing everything back. It was probably because...

Maybe he didn’t want to lose Chanyeol.

Or Chanyeol’s friends.

Because he certainly wouldn’t have any if it wasn’t for his relationship with the older male.

They didn’t talk much, but it was never a problem. But lately, it had become a problem for Kyungsoo because he had no idea what was in Chanyeol’s mind. If it was just silence between them, now it was suffocating silence. It had been going on for more than a week that Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that something was off and yet, both of them still pretended like everything was alright.

Maybe it was just his imagination. Nothing was wrong between them. They were alright.

Then why did Kyungsoo feel like crying the minute he stepped in to the place?

The doe eyed male almost couldn’t hide his broken mask when he walked into the club. The smell of liquor and booze were filling the air and they nauseated Kyungsoo. He brought a hand to his face as he scanned around the crowded place to find a glimpse of anyone he knew. Kyungsoo caught the sight of Junmyeon waving a hand at him from their table and he breathed in relief. Without thinking, he shuffled forward through the sea of people to reach the fair skinned male.

“You’re late,” Junmyeon half yelled and gave Kyungsoo a smile. The latter felt puzzled at the empty chairs around them as he occupied a vacant one. As if he knew what he was thinking, Junmyeon leaned forward to Kyungsoo. “Yifan’s by the bar for the drinks... Sehun and Luhan are somewhere—I think they’re dancing...and Chanyeol’s off to find a quieter place to make a call.”

“Oh.”

Chanyeol went to make a phone call?

Kyungsoo absentmindedly took his phone out of his pocket, wondering if Chanyeol had gone to call him—just because—and his heart dropped because there was no activity on his phone.

No new text message.

No new missed call.

Kyungsoo’s grip on the phone tightened as he shifted his eyes to the dance floor. He briefly wondered why he came again—he was never one for clubbing.

“Kyungsoo-yah, you came.”

Yifan was the first one to get back to the table with a few drinks on his hands. The Chinese male handed Junmyeon his drink and placed the other bottles on the table. Junmyeon uttered a soft thank you and Kyungsoo found himself staring at the couple enviously. Yifan was always obvious about his affection toward Junmyeon. They had been together for quite a while now and they didn’t seem to have any problem. Kyungsoo wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to get married one day.

“Do you want something to drink? I can go back to the bar.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “Thanks, but no thanks, hyung...”

“Hey.”

Kyungsoo smiled the moment he heard Chanyeol’s voice and he looked up. Chanyeol fanned his face with a hand and huffed. The tall male looked flushed and troubled. Kyungsoo shifted slightly to his left, allowing his boyfriend to occupy the vacant seat beside him. “H—hi...”

Where have you been...?

But of course Kyungsoo couldn’t ask even such a simple question.

Neither of them said a thing after that. Chanyeol had his attention fixed on the screen of his phone, clearly typing something. Kyungsoo tried to distract his mind by staring at Yifan and Junmyeon, but the way Yifan protectively wrapped his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder just pained him more. The couple was engaged in a hushed conversation and Junmyeon giggled when his boyfriend whispered something into his ear and he nudged Yifan’s ribs playfully.

Isn’t that how a relationship should be...?

Kyungsoo sadly looked down.

Even in such crowd, the male felt extremely lonely.

Kyungsoo unconsciously shifted his glance to Chanyeol. He wished his boyfriend would pay attention to him the way Yifan did to Junmyeon. It probably wasn’t fair to compare because people weren’t the same and he couldn’t ask for every couple to have the same kind of relationship, but...somehow, he wished Chanyeol would tuck his phone away and talk to him and tell him sweet nothings that would make him feel precious. Kyungsoo wished...

...he wished Chanyeol would tell him what was wrong.

But his boyfriend seemed to have something on his mind and Kyungsoo didn’t want to add more burden to him by asking stupid questions.

So he leaned back on his chair and continued to scan around the place. Sehun and Luhan were still nowhere to be found. Sehun was four years younger than Luhan, but their relationship was even better than his and Chanyeol’s. There was a pale looking girl right on the corner and it seemed like she would vomit any minute—perhaps too much alcohol—and one of her friends hastily dragged her toward the restroom. Kyungsoo saw a few couples making out shamelessly at different places. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly even though it wasn’t itching and directed his gaze someplace else.

Which was a mistake.

Because he saw him.

Kyungsoo felt himself holding his breath the minute their eyes met. Usually, a stare with a stranger like that would only last for a couple of seconds. One of them had to look away first in order to know that it was only momentarily. But as seconds turned to minutes, it was then that Kyungsoo realized the male was really staring at him.

He gulped.

The male was sitting not too far from their table and it looked like he was also with his friends. Judging from his slender figure, he was probably as tall as Chanyeol. He had a slight, natural frown plastered on his tanned face since the first time their eyes met. It was like he was observing Kyungsoo...

Kyungsoo had the urge to look away because who knew, the male wasn’t staring at him and it was just his imagination, but something about the other male’s piercing gaze stunned him and he was unable to do anything but to stare back. He felt his palms began to sweat and when the male’s frown dissipated and he casually jerked his chin toward his direction, Kyungsoo’s heart missed a beat.

He’s...handsome.

Wait, what the hell was I thinking?

Kyungsoo finally had the courage to look away and laced his fingers together. His hands were a bit shaking and he inwardly scolded himself because he had a boyfriend and he wasn’t even supposed to stare at any other guy like that.

“Kyungsoo-yah?”

Junmyeon’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Kyungsoo threw his glance back to the older male. “Y—yes?”

“Why don’t you guys dance?” Junmyeon suggested. “I mean, clearly Sehun and Luhan are somewhere and someone has to stay here for the table...and Chanyeol looks like he could use some fun...right, Chanyeol?”

Kyungsoo batted his eyelashes several times before turning his head to Chanyeol. He had no idea who Chanyeol had been texting, but when Junmyeon said those words, his boyfriend locked his phone and the lights on the screen went off. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Chanyeol shrugging too nonchalantly to Kyungsoo’s liking.

“Why not?”

Don’t give in if you don’t want to, Kyungsoo wanted to cry as Chanyeol stood up. I don’t like dancing...you should know that...

Why did he even come to the club in the first place? Why did he agree...?

The thoughts ran through his mind but it was already too late to change it back. Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably on his seat, obviously wanting to refuse the offer. But when he caught Junmyeon’s eyes and the latter smiled kindly as if to encourage him, it got Kyungsoo to sigh in defeat.

“...okay.”

“Have fun.”

Kyungsoo reluctantly followed Chanyeol to the dance floor. He instinctively grabbed the end of his boyfriend’s shirt—so that they wouldn’t get separated in the crowd.

Chanyeol didn’t even hold his hands.

It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he didn’t want to do anything but to go home immediately. When they arrived at the dance floor, Chanyeol started following the rhythm of the music even though his face betrayed his movement. It looked like his mind was somewhere else but there. His expression almost showed that he carried the burden of the world and Kyungsoo wished there was something he could do.

What’s wrong with us...?

Why can’t we be like...Junmyeon and Yifan...?

Kyungsoo’s eyes became teary at the thought and he pressed his palms on his face. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry, I—“

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Kyungsoo froze upon seeing the handsome male in the throng of people. How did he...? Just as he guessed earlier, the tanned male was tall and he stood out among the crowd. He had a handsome, flawless face and Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry. His heartbeat increased dramatically and he wondered why the male was there on the dance floor instead of by the table with his friends.

“Kyungsoo.”

“Huh?” Kyungsoo looked up.

Chanyeol explained nothing but to lean down to kiss Kyungsoo. Their lips met and the latter nearly gasped against Chanyeol’s lips. Instead of closing from the kiss, his eyes widened in shock. Kyungsoo never expected Chanyeol to suddenly kiss him like that and he felt the insides of his stomach turned around like he had eaten something that had expired.

He’s staring...?

Kyungsoo abruptly broke the kiss. He almost pushed Chanyeol away, but fortunately the sane part of him still prevented him from doing so. They stayed close, but Kyungsoo was so confused with what he felt and hugged himself. Wasn’t he just asking himself what was wrong with their relationship and now that Chanyeol tried to kiss him, he freaked out?

“I’m—I’m sorry—“

Chanyeol shook his head. “No, it’s me who’s sorry—“

All of a sudden, the music was too loud for Kyungsoo and he felt like crying. “I—I should probably go...”

“Okay,” Chanyeol replied and squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Do you want to say goodbye to the others first or—“

“No, tell them I need to leave, okay?”

Kyungsoo placed his hand on Chanyeol’s arm almost apologetically. Chanyeol looked at him and his orbs were filled with confusion,  but it was the same with Kyungsoo. Without waiting for any reply, the male hastily pulled his hand off of Chanyeol and turned around to leave.

He didn’t belong there.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

But it was just because he had no friends.

Kyungsoo was able to go home earlier than usual that day and he somewhat wished Chanyeol would be able to grab dinner together. It had been a while since they last had a decent date like in a restaurant or a cafe or even watch a movie. Kyungsoo bit his lower lip as he patiently listened to the tone, half hoping that Chanyeol would pick up his call soon.

Chanyeol didn’t.

Kyungsoo sighed.

Maybe he’s busy.

Kyungsoo ended up going to the minimarket he frequented to buy a few ingredients for dinner. Cooking had always been the best way to take his mind off of things. He hoped it would help take his mind off of Chanyeol because almost an hour had passed since his last call and his boyfriend hadn’t returned it at all. Kyungsoo tilted his head to a side and absently trailed his fingers on several bags of chips.

Might as well eat something unhealthy tonight...

After grabbing and shoving the things he needed into the basket, Kyungsoo walked to the cashier and queued in line. When it was almost his turn, the male searched for his wallet in his bag. But after seconds of raiding, Kyungsoo realized that his wallet wasn’t there.

“Good evening. Will it be cash or credit, sir?”

Kyungsoo went pale and searched his bag once again, wanting to make sure. Sometimes things just went missing when you needed them the most.

The cashier waited patiently, but when Kyungsoo almost wildly poured the contents of his bag onto the counter, her expression changed.

“My wallet,” Kyungsoo whispered in confusion. “It’s—it’s gone—“

“Sir, if you need some more time to look for your wallet, you can step aside and let the others pay first,” she politely informed Kyungsoo, but her expression showed that she was actually annoyed.

Kyungsoo felt his cheeks reddened at the gesture and he vaguely nodded. Did he leave his wallet in the office...? He was quite unfocused when he tried to call Chanyeol earlier... But what if someone stole it and he didn’t realize it at all? Everything was in there—his cards, his IDs, Chanyeol’s photo—

“Oh God,” Kyungsoo whimpered weakly.

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to—“

“That would be cash.”

Kyungsoo was close to breaking into tears (simply because he was panicked) when he heard a firm voice beside him. He stifled a sob as he glanced up and everything seemed to come to a stop.

It was the tanned skin male at the club from the other day.

“O—oh,” the cashier stuttered. “It will be cash, then.”

“Yes.” The male turned to Kyungsoo with a smile and his hair. “I’m sorry I’m late. Did you forget that your wallet is in the apartment? And I told you I will pay.”

Kyungsoo was too dumbfounded to reply anything. He finally nodded after the handsome male gave him a look and he decided to play along.

“I’m sorry, I forgot...”

The girl’s jaw involuntarily dropped because dammit the male was very handsome. She snapped herself back to life when she earned firm stares from the other people behind Kyungsoo and proceeded as quick as she could. Kyungsoo’s mouth went dry when the taller male stayed close beside him as he eyed the cashier’s movement. He handed her a few bills after everything was done and she handed him back some change. After taking the grocery bags, the tanned male nodded slightly at the cashier before patting Kyungsoo on the back.

“Let’s go.”

Kyungsoo unwillingly followed the male (well, willingly, first because he had his groceries and second, because he practically saved him) outside the store. They walked a few more steps before the other male abruptly stopped and turned around to face him. Kyungsoo drew in a deep breath.

It was really the male at the club.

And he’s really handsome.

“Here,” the male handed him all of the plastic bags.

“Th—thank you.”

“Do you live far from here?”

“Eh? Yeah... J—just a few blocks...”

 “Then you should be alright.”

“I—“ Kyungsoo paused. He was being very rude, wasn’t he? The male had helped him and he could at least do something to pay him back. “I’m sorry, I—I think I left my wallet in the office...but I’m gonna have to check it first. Oh God, I am so clumsy... I—I will pay you back as soon as I can...”

The taller male only stared when Kyungsoo shifted all of the bags into a hand and his other hand roamed freely on his own thighs and buttocks just to find the phone. He needed to call the guard in the office just to make sure.

“It’s okay. As long as you find your wallet.”

“B—but—“ Kyungsoo looked like he was about to cry any minute now. He was about to dump the content of his bag for the second time, this time onto the ground when the tanned male stopped him before he got the chance to.

“Calm down,” the male said as he pressed one of his palms against Kyungsoo’s left chest. “Are you looking for your phone? It’s here.”

In a normal situation, Kyungsoo would probably freak out for having a stranger pressing his hand on his chest. But they weren’t in a normal situation right now. Kyungsoo felt heat was creeping onto his cheeks and he casually took the phone out of his shirt’s pocket. But his embarrassment all soon faded and the emotions in his eyes dimmed when he spotted Chanyeol’s latest text.

I can’t tonight, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry.

Kyungsoo’s expression darkened.

“Is that your boyfriend the other night?”

Kyungsoo abruptly looked up to the tanned skin male.

He...he remembered me...?

“Y—yes,” Kyungsoo stammered nervously. Wait, why did he say yes? But—but of course, yes.

“Hm,” the male hummed. “What’s your name?”

“K—Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo immediately regretted it because maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t give his name to a stranger that he knew nothing about. But—but the stranger was nice and he helped him and he remembered him and he leaned forward to him and—and he what?? Kyungsoo automatically shut his eyes in fear when the other male leaned closer—

—only to find that he did nothing but to his hair.

Kyungsoo fluttered his eyes open in uncertainty and caught the taller male staring at him.

“Give me your phone.”

“Huh?”

“Your phone.”

Kyungsoo obeyed.

The tanned male played with the phone momentarily before handing it back to him. Kyungsoo accepted in confusion and his eyes slightly widened at the newly registered number.

“Just in case you need someone to talk to.”

He smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’m free most of the time.”

With that, he turned around to walk to the opposite direction and waved his hand dismissively.

Kyungsoo’s lips slightly trembled as he looked down to his phone.

Kim Jongin.

Kyungsoo felt his heart skipping a beat.

Just like that night at the club.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

But honestly, it was because he had no one to share with.

He still didn’t talk much with Chanyeol a week after his encounter with Jongin at the minimarket. His boyfriend still texted him, but it was really seldom that Kyungsoo could count how many texts he got with his finger. It wasn’t like they texted a lot, but after that night in the club, somehow their relationship felt even more different. Not forgetting to mention awkward.

There were times when Kyungsoo felt really down and confused and unsure and lost but no one was there for him.

Needless to say, the doe eyed male cried himself to sleep every night.

Chanyeol hadn’t contacted him in the following week and it was starting to make him sleepless. It saddened Kyungsoo so much that he was unable to concentrate at work. He was unable to focus and his work was messed up. It affected him a lot that his boss had even scolded his work and threatened to fire him if this kept going on. As if it wasn’t enough, his colleague—someone named Hyunsik—who he barely knew, confessed to him on the lunch break.

“I—I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered bashly. “I have a boyfriend...”

“You do?” Hyunsik raised a brow. “Oh.”

The male said nothing more after that but Kyungsoo felt like he had just received a hard slap on his face. He didn’t know he have a boyfriend? Well, his relationship with Chanyeol hadn’t been that long, but...surely Hyunsik would know...

Kyungsoo deadpanned.

Chanyeol never even picked me up at work.

Which was probably why Hyunsik didn’t know that Kyungsoo wasn’t available.

The feeling of wanting to ask what was wrong was huge that Kyungsoo almost couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to, no, he needed to talk to Chanyeol. He wanted to know what he had done wrong.

So Kyungsoo, determined to solve whatever it was that happened between them, dialed his boyfriend’s number the minute he signed out of his office and waited.

His heart dropped when the other line was turned off.

What...?

Kyungsoo’s calls went straight to voice mails no matter how much he tried. He finally gave up after the umpteenth attempt and sighed in frustration.

Is he...avoiding me?

Groaning, Kyungsoo tucked his phone rather harshly into his pocket and deadpanned when he accidentally saw the last dialed numbers. He rarely communicated to anyone, so his call logs probably never changed. It was still in the same order with the ones from weeks ago. Kyungsoo’s thumb hovered against his screen, as if wanting to wipe the number below Chanyeol’s.

Kim Jongin.

‘Just in case you need someone to talk to’.

Did he mean...this?

Kyungsoo shook his head roughly and puffed his cheeks. Instead of calling the newest contact, he stubbornly tried once again to reach his boyfriend and successfully failed. Chanyeol was still unreachable. Kyungsoo almost sobbed at the fact and helplessly pressed his fingers on the screen.

“Hello?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and hastily brought the device to his ear. “Ch—Chanyeol???”

“No, this is Jongin.”

Kyungsoo froze. He must have dialed the wrong number—oh, stupid touch screen!! Kyungsoo went pale and glanced at his screen. It really wasn’t Chanyeol. It was really Jongin.

“...Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo gasped. How did he...? He chose not to answer and palmed his mouth, not knowing what to do. Should he end the call? Should he apologize? Should he...?

“Do you like bubble tea?”

It got Kyungsoo to blink questioningly. Bubble tea...? The first image that came to his mind was some kind of foamy drinks with tea flavor.

“Is it...,” Kyungsoo breathed. “Is it...good?”

“It’s sweet. Where are you right now?”

“I’m still—“ Kyungsoo looked around in confusion. “I’m still near my office...”

“I’ll meet you at the station?”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo replied and he immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. What the hell did he just say? “I—I mean—“

“Good. See you there.”

With that, Jongin hung up at the end of the line and Kyungsoo felt like pulling his hair away.

It was a mistake. What the hell did he just do? Jongin was a stranger. A handsome stranger. But he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who ignores you.

Kyungsoo mentally berated himself and pressed his palms on his cheeks. He must have looked funny because a few people were starting to look his way. Kyungsoo shut his eyes and hung his head in shame.

What did you do, Do Kyungsoo...?

But...

There was something about the taller male that soothe him. The moment he heard Jongin’s voice, he felt utterly calmed, like everything was going to be alright. It was the same feeling with the one he had the other night when Jongin had helped him. Kyungsoo didn’t know if it was just that one time because he was confused...or because the gentle pat on his hair was extra comforting.

How long had it been since someone asked him what he liked...?

Besides, it wasn’t like Jongin would come.

The tanned male could be just toying around...

Fifteen minutes later, Kyungsoo arrived at the station. He scanned the place thoroughly and noticed that Jongin hadn’t arrived yet. Kyungsoo was probably early...or late? Jongin never said at what time their meeting was... He deliberately sat on the nearest bench available with his legs crossed at the ankle. His phone was placed on his lap and Kyungsoo gave it a cold stare.

What if Jongin didn’t come?

Then it wasn’t a big deal. Then Kyungsoo could go home and spend the rest of his day weeping because by then, he would know that he was destined to be alone—because even a stranger refused to spend some time with him.

But what if Jongin did come?

“Kyungsoo.”

The said male looked up at the mention of his name and his jaw involuntarily dropped because of several reasons.

One, he knew that Jongin was handsome. The other day in the night club, the place was badly lit and the lighting was all dim so he wasn’t able to take a good look (and their accidental meeting at the minimarket was another prove that he was good looking). But now, under the bright light, Jongin looked extremely gorgeous. He had a shocking blond hair that went contrast with his skin color and yet he still looked good with it. The tall male was clad in jeans and oversized tee with a dark colored jacket.

Something grew within Kyungsoo and he was terrifed.

Why, he wasn’t sure.

Two, because Jongin really came.

“I thought you’d never call.”

It never occurred to him of what to do if Jongin came.

Kyungsoo felt awful. His chest tightened at the weird sensation and he was confused of what he had been feeling lately. To make it even worse, he was still in a relationship with Chanyeol. “I’m—I’m sorry, this is a mistake—“

“Hey,” Jongin said as he grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm. “We’re not doing anything.”

Kyungsoo was taken aback at the remark. Their eyes met and he could see the sincerity in the other male’s orbs. Jongin had a point. They did nothing. They were just...going to grab drinks, right? Kyungsoo reluctantly casted a glance down to his hands and nodded.

“Don’t be scared,” Jongin said softly. “So, shall we have that bubble tea?”

Kyungsoo stiffened. “Bubble tea...? O—oh. That...”

Jongin solemnly stared at him. “You’re scared to be seen with me in public.”

It amazed Kyungsoo to no end at the fact that they only met for five minutes and the taller male could already read his mind. “It—it’s not like that—“

Jongin patted Kyungsoo’s head caringly. “You can walk in front of me and we can pretend like we don’t know each other.”

Kyungsoo froze. “Wh—what...?”

“Come on, I’m thirsty,” Jongin swept his blond locks and playfully nudged Kyungsoo. “Don’t worry, I’m right behind you.”

Funny because Kyungsoo believed Jongin’s words as the other male broke into a kind smile.

Somehow, he felt safe.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

Which was why he didn’t tell Jongin that the pearl milk tea tasted heavenly.

They had walked together in a safe distance, pretending that they didn’t know each other and honestly, for Kyungsoo, it was stupid. It was stupid because he needed someone to talk to and when Jongin was already there for him, he was too scared for unknown reasons. Was it because he was still in a relationship with Chanyeol? Even so, was there something wrong with that? Was he not allowed to have friends?

Friends.

Was Jongin his friend...?

They rarely talked the other day, but whenever Kyungsoo glanced over his shoulder, he would breathe in relief because Jongin was still there. He kept his words—I’m right behind you, Kyungsoo. Their eyes would meet and then the tanned male would give him a calming smile and Kyungsoo would smile back a little before fixing his attention back to the road ahead of him.

Kyungsoo felt...protected.

And it was a wonderful feeling.

A few days later, Chanyeol sent him a text.

Kyungsoo had to rub his eyes twice because it was really Chanyeol—it was really his boyfriend. He was in the middle of his lunch when it happened and Kyungsoo almost choked over his food. Chanyeol’s text was simple. The older male just stated that he and the others were going to the club later that night to celebrate Sehun’s birthday. Despite the fact that he wanted to scream and protest and beseech to Chanyeol like an abandoned child—for ignoring him for days and hundreds of ‘why’s, but he said nothing. He kept everything inside because this was probably the chance for them to kiss and make up.

In fact, Kyungsoo felt a bit relieved because it mean Chanyeol still wanted him around.

So he did come to the club after work...

...only to find that Chanyeol wasn’t there.

Junmyeon and the others welcomed him with the warmest smiles and he settled down on the seat awkwardly. Yifan handed him a bottle of beer which he reluctantly accepted and looked around searchingly. Kyungsoo waited for a certain person. Maybe his boyfriend received a call and had gone to somewhere quiet—just like last time. But after twenty minutes and there was no sign of Chanyeol, he decided to ask.

“Where’s Chanyeol...?”

Junmyeon looked a bit startled by his question and he exchanged wary looks with Luhan. “Chanyeol...? He...left already.”

Kyungsoo blinked. “He did...?”

“Yeah,” Luhan said with a slight frown. “Baek called. It seemed a bit urgent so Chanyeol left early tonight. Um... I’m sure he left you a message?”

A huge pang was starting to form within Kyungsoo as he checked his phone. He forced himself to feign an expression and nodded. “A—ah, he did.”

“Don’t worry, you still have us,” Junmyeon smiled. “We’re gonna go karaoke after this. You’re coming, right?” The pretty male didn’t get the chance to hear his reply when Yifan tapped his shoulder to have his attention.

Kyungsoo faked a thoughtful look.

He looked fine, but inside, he was crumbling into pieces.

Kyungsoo lied.

There was no text whatsoever from Chanyeol and clearly Junmyeon and the others didn’t know that their relationship was fading.

It hurt.

Badly.

What hurt even more was the fact that he had no idea who ‘Baek’ was. It stung like a prickling needle to his chest that his eyes almost burned with tears but fortunately, he managed to keep it all inside.

Just like the usual Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol’s friends were busy with themselves and Kyungsoo tried to distract his mind by randomly viewed his phone. He scanned the photos, the galeries, his twitter account, but they weren’t able to take his mind off of the throbbing pain.

I’m at the club and my boyfriend’s not here.

Kyungsoo didn’t mean to press send—and he definitely didn’t mean to send it to Jongin. But the other male’s text was at the top of his inbox (Jongin had sent him a ‘what are you doing?’ text just after Chanyeol texted him) and he absently pressed reply and he accidentally typed those few words.

Within a minute, he got a reply.

Do you want to go home?

Did he want to go home?

God, yes...

Kyungsoo didn’t feel like staying anymore. He thought of a reason to excuse himself from Chanyeol’s friends. Besides, they wouldn’t miss anything even if he wasn’t there.

Meet me outside in ten minutes.

Kyungsoo blinked at Jongin’s reply. It took him a few seconds to register the words and he almost gasped when he realized what the other male meant by that. While he thought of a good reason to sneak out and he failed because he just happened to be a bad liar, ten minutes passed by in a blink of an eye. He didn’t even realize that Sehun and Luhan had disappeared to the dance floor when his phone vibrated.

Outside.

Kyungsoo straightened up on his seat and gulped down the rest of his beer. “I—I gotta go.”

“Eh?” Junmyeon looked a bit disappointed. “So soon...?”

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo earnestly apologized and stood up. “Um...Sehun...?”

Yifan directed his eyes to the people on the dance floor. “He’ll probably take a while. We’ll just tell him later.”

“Please do,” Kyungsoo nodded apologetically. “Please tell him happy birthday once again and I wish he has a great year...”

“I will. Be careful,” Junmyeon smiled. “See you soon, Kyungsoo-yah.”

Kyungsoo hastily stepped outside the club and looked around almost frantically for the appearance of a certain tanned male. The sight of Jongin across the street made him wanted to cry and wordlessly, he quickened his steps to approach the other male. His feelings were mixed up and he didn’t know what he felt anymore.

He just wanted to go home.

“Hey,” Jongin greeted quietly.

“H—hey,” Kyungsoo shakily retorted.

Jongin misinterpreted it as a sign that Kyungsoo was cold and he instinctively took off his jacket and wrapped it around the latter’s smaller figure. The attention was so sweet that it made Kyungsoo had a hard time breathing.

“Is everything okay?”

“N—no,” Kyungsoo whimpered weakly. “I want to go home.”

“Okay,” Jongin put the hoodie on so it covered Kyungsoo’s head. “Calm down, alright?”

“I can’t—“ Kyungsoo’s breath became ragged and he slightly became hysterical. “J—Jongin, I can’t calm down—“

Jongin grabbed his arms and pushed him into the alley. Kyungsoo felt his back met the cold wall and he cried weakly. Jongin pinned him against the wall with his hands pressed on Kyungsoo’s sides. “We’re not going until you calm down.”

“B—but—“ Kyungsoo still did his best to stifle a sob.

“Just let it out,” Jongin whispered against his forehead. “Just let it out, Kyungsoo.”

“What if—what if someone sees us—“

“You’re in my jacket, remember?” Jongin said firmly and caressed Kyungsoo’s cheek with the back of his hand. “I’ll protect you, Kyungsoo. Just let it out. Please, just...”

Kyungsoo burst out crying the minute Jongin pulled him into his arms.

He tried his best to not make a sound, even though his shoulders shook roughly everytime he gasped for air. Kyungsoo buried his face against Jongin’s chest in desperation, letting the taller male slipping his fingers onto his hair underneath the hoodie, letting him holding him tightly.

It was as if a heavy burden was taken off of his chest.

But it didn’t calm him down.

Kyungsoo didn’t know how long had it been since he started crying. His grip was starting to loose on Jongin’s sleeve, briefly wondering if he was hurting the other male. Slowly, but surely, his breath became steady and a huge wave of relief washed over his entire body. Kyungsoo feebly pressed his lips against Jongin’s slender collarbone and sighed. The tanned male’s shirt was a bit drenched by his tears, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo muttered timidly.

“Don’t worry about it.”

They stayed close to each other for a few moments. Funny how Kyungsoo seemed to fit in Jongin’s arms. Funny how their height matched and he only felt that now, even though Jongin probably was as tall as Chanyeol. Funny how Jongin seemed to understand Kyungsoo better, despite the fact that they had just known each other in a few days...

Kyungsoo exhaled deeply through his nose, but he still wasn’t entirely calm.

“Hey.”

“Hm...”

“What’s on your mind...?” Jongin asked quietly. “Someone else...?”

It took Kyungsoo ten seconds to finally look up, only to find that Jongin was staring. It was probably a mistake, because it made Kyungsoo’s feelings evolved into something he didn’t quite understand. And he wasn’t ready. Panic began to resurface within him and Kyungsoo’s chest was starting to move rapidly.

No.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes in fear.

Not someone else.

And Jongin kissed him.

You.

Kyungsoo couldn’t describe what kind of sorcery it was when their lips met. All of his anxiety were gone and he felt extremely calm, like nothing out there, nothing could hurt him. A soft moan escaped his lips when Jongin tilted his head to get a better angle and Kyungsoo found himself kissing back. They lost count for how many seconds, how many minutes had it been since they kissed.

He felt safe.

They pulled away in surprise when a bunch of giggling girls passed by the alley.

Kyungsoo’s face was flustered as they broke apart and he didn’t have the courage to stare at Jongin. He placed a hand on his mouth, his heart was still beating a little too fast from the foreign sensation. Jongin did nothing but to listen to the voices of the girls until they faded away and completely vanished into the stillness of the night.

Jongin dissolved into a small laughter and he stared at Kyungsoo in amusement. It soon morphed into an affectionate gaze as he poked the latter’s nose.

“It’s late. Let’s get you home.”

Kyungsoo felt his heart sinking at that. It was probably reluctance. Or was it disappointment...? He couldn’t decide.

But it was getting late and he knew Jongin just wanted him to be safe. Besides, didn’t he want to go home when he excused himself to Junmyeon and the others?

Kyungsoo nodded slowly.

“Let’s go home, Jongin-ah...”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

So of course, he told no one about his (unexpected) kiss with Jongin.

It had been a few days since the tanned male fetched him at the night club. They hadn’t talked to each other since, but then again, Jongin was never the one to initiate the communication.

It was always Kyungsoo.

Maybe it was because, again, Jongin respected the fact that he had a boyfriend.

But he kissed you.

Kyungsoo pondered if Jongin had regretted the kiss(es).

One day, there was a report that needed to be done so he stayed a bit late at work. By the time he finished it, the office was almost empty. Everyone had gone home except him and a few other colleagues in different departments. He dropped by the manager’s office to give him the report before excusing himself.

Kyungsoo took a glance at his phone. There was no activity. It had been two weeks since he last saw Chanyeol and Kyungsoo wondered if the other male had considered their relationship to come to an end. He had been trying to reach Chanyeol, but there were only two results: either Chanyeol didn’t pick up his phone or it was turned off. Desperate, Kyungsoo even sent a helpless text to his boyfriend (if they were actually still in a relationship after not talking for so long), but he never got a reply.

Am I boring...?

It was better if Chanyeol had just told him that yes, he was boring and yes, they weren’t working instead of not talking like this. But... Chanyeol wasn’t entirely at fault. Didn’t he hold back too? Didn’t he choose to stay quiet instead of asking when he had the chance to?

Kyungsoo stared and stared at his phone but no matter how long he glared at it, it would never ring. He pressed two fingers onto his lips and inhaled deeply. Forget it, Kyungsoo. He should just tuck the device away and thought of what to have for dinner. Kyungsoo did so and just when the doe eyed male was about to put his phone away, it rang.

His heart started at the name.

It was Jongin.

All of the memories resurfaced the minute Jongin’s name flashed on the screen and Kyungsoo unconsciously blushed. He was too busy thinking of what to say properly that the call had ended before he gathered enough courage to take it. Kyungsoo inwardly cursed himself and waited in doubt.

His phone almost slipped out of his hand when it rang again for the second time, still with Jongin’s name. He managed to pick it up this time.

“J—Jongin-ah?”

“Hello, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo’s heartbeat quickened at how gentle Jongin said his name and he turned around nervously. He almost bumped onto someone but thankfully managed to avoid the girl just in time and mouthed a voiceless apology.

“H—hi...”

“Do you like fried noodle?”

Kyungsoo blinked. “Um...I guess?”

“There’s this good place I know. Do you wanna try?”

“I’m... I’m close to apartment already...”

“Then I’ll just bring it over to your place. Have you eaten?”

“N—not yet...”

“Good. I’ll probably arrive around half an hour max?”

Kyungsoo had a hard time swallowing. Did Jongin just...blatantly tell him that he was coming?

“Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo managed to swallow the thick lump down his throat. “I’ll grab some soda for us, then...”

“Sounds good. See you later?”

“Just—just not too spicy, alright?”

Jongin chuckled at the end of the line. “Done, Kyungsoo. Done.”

With that, the tanned male hang up and Kyungsoo felt like running around in frustration. What did he just do? Did he just accepted a stranger’s—well, not exactly—invitation to eat together at his apartment? But it was Jongin and he wasn’t a stranger and the male was nice...and they were friends...

Friends?

Kyungsoo pressed his lips into a thin line.

Is that what I want us to be...?

The male dropped by at the nearest convenient store to grab some drinks. He paused momentarily at the drink aisle, simply because he didn’t know what Jongin liked. Now that he thought about it, Kyungsoo didn’t even know what Chanyeol’s favorite drink was. They had been dating for a few months already, but it seemed like a dull relationship. He knew nothing about Chanyeol and he didn’t think Chanyeol knew everything about him, too.

“Kyungsoo-yah?”

Kyungsoo snapped his head to the source of the voice and his eyes widened in surprise. He surely didn’t expect to see Junmyeon. “Hyung...?”

Junmyeon beamed and leaned forward to hug him. “Hi! Didn’t expect to run into you here. Is your apartment near?”

Kyungsoo nodded awkwardly. “Yeah... It’s down by the block.”

“I see. Are you alone?”

“Yeah...”

Junmyeon made a face and shifted his glance downward, as if he realized he had just asked something unnecessary. The fair skinned male played with the end of his shirt and Kyungsoo took the opportunity to grab two random cans of soda and bowed politely. Junmyeon opened his mouth quickly to say something before he walked away.

“Well then I’ll—“

“Kyungsoo-yah?”

Kyungsoo stared at Junmyeon questioningly. “Yes...?”

“I...” Junmyeon cleared his throat. The older of the two seemed unsure but he continued anyway. “I went out with Luhan the other day and we wanted to ask you to come with us...but then we realized we didn’t have your number... And, and with everything that happens with Baek, Chanyeol’s a bit—okay, very busy, so...”

Who is this Baek...?

“I...”

Is he...important in Chanyeol’s life?

“I don’t know about you, Kyungsoo-yah...” Junmyeon’s tone was so soft and soothing. “I definitely don’t want to know you because you’re seeing my friend...”

Kyungsoo stared.

“I want to know you because I want to.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he understood what Junmyeon meant by that and he curled his fingers loosely in front of his mouth. “I—I don’t understand...”

“I don’t want us to be friends just because of Chanyeol,” Junmyeon explained sheepishly. The older male bit his bottom lip in hesitation. “Maybe next time...? You, me...Luhan? If it’s okay...?”

It took Kyungsoo quite a moment to finally nod and Junmyeon heaved in relief.

“I’ll just save your number, then,” Junmyeon said as he took out his phone. He had just unlocked the device when Kyungsoo spoke.

“Hyung...?”

“Hm?”

“Who’s...Baek?”

Junmyeon was stunned by the sudden question that his face went pale. His lips were slightly parted. “You...you don’t know Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo smiled bitterly to himself. “I don’t know a lot of things...”

The atmosphere changed and Junmyeon visibly tensed. Kyungsoo looked utterly sad, but at the same time, it was like he had accepted the fact that he knew nothing about Chanyeol. It pained Junmyeon to witness his expression, but there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m not in the position to say...” Junmyeon said softly after moments of silence. “You should ask him yourself, Kyungsoo-yah.”

Kyungsoo watched Junmyeon unblinkingly.

“Yeah...yeah, I probably should.”

Which was a total lie, because he knew he would never be able to bring himself to ask.

They separated after a cute guy named Jongdae—who turned out to be Junmyeon’s younger brother—called out his hyung’s name and after saving each other’s numbers, Kyungsoo went home with a terrible feeling. He suddenly didn’t want to meet Jongin and wondered if it was too late to call the tanned male to cancel everything.

It was too late because Jongin was already standing in front of his door.

Kyungsoo’s expression changed the second Jongin lifted up his face and he busied himself by fumbling for his keys. He felt like he was a mess. When Kyungsoo finally got the keys, he tried to casually unlocked the door like nothing happened, but failed to do so because his hands were trembling. He stopped when Jongin placed a hand firmly over his.

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo snapped a bit roughly. He continued struggling and groaned.

Jongin snatched the keys away from him and gave Kyungsoo a stern stare. He then proceeded to unlock the door and it opened easily. “Something must have happened.”

“I said nothing.”

“Kyungsoo—“

“What do you want, Jongin-ah??” Kyungsoo cried in frustration.

Jongin’s expression morphed into dislike. “What do I want?” He pushed Kyungsoo into the living room and closed the front door offhandedly with a hand.

“This—this is all a mistake!” Kyungsoo cried. “I have a boyfriend!”

“A boyfriend who ignores you,” Jongin seethed vehemently. “A boyfriend who didn’t give a about you. A boyfriend who told you to come to the club but he wasn’t there instead—“

“Stop!! He was just busy!!”

“Are you too blind to see that he doesn’t love you???”

It was like a hard slap on Kyungsoo’s face. His face turned pale at the remark, but Jongin didn’t seem like he would stop any minute.

“Even a stranger like me knew with just a single glance,” Jongin snapped crudely. “It wasn’t you that was on his mind when you guys kissed the other night.”

“Stop,” Kyungsoo begged weakly.

“He doesn’t love you.”

“Stop...”

“If he does, he wouldn’t leave you alone at a crowded place like that.”

“I SAID STOP!!!”

“Why are you being so stubborn?? Face the truth, Kyungsoo!!” Jongin gritted his teeth indignantly. “You don’t love him!!”

This time, it felt like a strong kick to Kyungsoo’s stomach. It hurt.

“You’re scared to lose him,” Jongin darkly stated. “But you don’t love him.”

Kyungsoo silently gasped.

It came as a huge surprise for him to hear the words from Jongin’s mouth. Sure, he knew that their relationship wasn’t the happiest one in the world, but... Kyungsoo lowered his head. Somewhere, deep down inside he knew Jongin was right. He felt nothing toward Chanyeol.

“You need to learn to let go.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You can’t keep everything here,” Jongin said and tapped a finger on his chest. “You have to speak, Kyungsoo, you have to let others know what you think. You’re not a robot. You’re a human being.”

I can’t.

“You never asked him who it was that he texted all the time, right? Let me guess. Maybe some of his friends mentioned a name to you and you couldn’t even bring yourself to ask him. You’re afraid to be seen walking with me in public because you can’t tell him that there’s another guy, because you don’t know how he would react.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes burned with unshed tears.

“If you can’t talk to him about this kind of things, you’ll only hurt yourself.”

I’m already hurt.

“Even if I tell you bluntly like this, there doesn’t seem to be a way for you to change your mind, does it?”

Jongin dragged a hand down his face at how quiet Kyungsoo was. He then placed the bag of food that he had been holding onto the table by the couch and turned around to leave. The taller male aimed straight for the door and his steps were certain.

Wait.

Kyungsoo did nothing but to stare at Jongin’s broad shoulders, unsure of what to do.

No, don’t go. Jongin, don’t go...

The tanned male halted just before he stepped outside. An audible sigh was heard throughout the room and Kyungsoo felt scared with what was coming.

“You asked me what I want.”

Kyungsoo held his breath.

“I want your heart.”

Jongin snorted softly to himself and his hand flew to the doorknob.

“I don’t want to be your someone else. I want to be the only person you think. I selfishly want your heart so bad that I can’t even wait for you to realize that he’s not the one for you. And when you kissed me back, I thought...I thought it was the happiest moment of my life. But now that I think about it...maybe it’s just me.”

Jongin glanced over his shoulder for one last look.

“Take care, Kyungsoo.”

With that, he stepped out of the apartment.

Jongin probably stepped out of Kyungsoo’s life, too.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

But the argument with Jongin got him to think that he should change that habit.

If Jongin was wrong, he wouldn’t feel this way. He wouldn’t feel low and awful. He wouldn’t cry himself to sleep. He wouldn’t gasp painfully between the tears with a hand clutching his chest. The words Jongin said kept on resonating in the cells of his brain and they hurt. But Jongin was right and he realized how much he had been hurting himself. He was tired of keeping everything to himself.

Why can’t I just tell what’s on my mind...?

A week had passed and it also meant a week had passed without Jongin.

Funny how a few days without the tanned skin male made him feel more miserable than the past weeks he had without Chanyeol.

So when Chanyeol showed up in his office one day, Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do. Instead of feeling glad, the male felt terribly empty. He had just stepped outside of his office when Kyungsoo spotted the familiar figure and his eyes widened in shock when he realized that it was his boyf—

“Chanyeol...?”

The said male glanced up. Kyungsoo immediately stiffened and he could tell Chanyeol was feeling uncomfortable, too. The latter sent him an awkward smile with a wave of hand before motioning him to come closer. Kyungsoo hesitantly obeyed and slowly made his way toward Chanyeol.

“H—hey.”

“Hey. It’s been a while...”

“Why are you here...?” Kyungsoo started without preamble and he quickly clasped a hand over his mouth. It wasn’t a rude thing to say, but somehow it just proved that despite the fact that they were only inches apart, they were distant. It was as if they weren’t in a relationship. Kyungsoo didn’t know what they have anymore.

Chanyeol stared at the empty spot beside him. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth but soon closed it back. What should I say...? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t have any idea. But things had messed up between them for so long and Kyungsoo didn’t want to feel like this for the rest of his life. It’s now or never.

“Chanyeol...?”

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong...?”

“I...” Chanyeol trailed off and his lips curved into a small smile. “You know...it’s actually the first time you ask me that.”

Kyungsoo went pale. He hated it...?

“I mean, sure, sometimes you ask if we could grab dinner together, but it’s never like this,” Chanyeol paused and stared firmly at Kyungsoo. “You never ask me what’s wrong.”

“I’m—“ Kyungsoo whispered weakly. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s nothing to be apologized, and it’s not your fault,” Chanyeol said softly. “I never tell you what’s wrong, either. I’m the one who should be sorry...”

Both of them fell silent and Kyungsoo felt weird. All this time, he wanted to be able to ask and tell Chanyeol what was on his mind, but now that it happened...it was the image of someone else that came into his mind. That even if he had the chance to do so, he didn’t want to know things about Chanyeol...at least not anymore.

Kyungsoo wanted to know everything about Jongin.

Oh God.

Kyungsoo pressed a hand against his mouth.

He had never wanted to change for someone this badly.

“Ch—Chanyeol...?”

“Hm?”

“Who’s...Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol’s smile faltered. He looked genuinely surprise at the question, maybe because he hadn’t expected Kyungsoo to know. Chanyeol seemed thoughtful for a second and his lips were pressed together. After a moment that seemed like forever, he finally spoke.

“He’s my childhood friend.”

Kyungsoo waited.

“I never mention his name to you because...because he wasn’t here.” Chanyeol paused to take a deep breath. “He came back last month because his parents wanted to introduce him to a girl. You see, Baek has always been an obedient kid. So when I heard the news, I—“

Chanyeol watched Kyungsoo cautiously, but the shorter male’s gaze on him was sincere. It wasn’t judging. It wasn’t a betrayed look or anything. It purely contained the need for him to know the truth. Chanyeol swallowed thickly before continuing.

“I’ve been struggling... I’ve been telling him for weeks that she’s not the one and he doesn’t want this. That if he ever get married, it’s not gonna work. I know it sounds awful, but dammit he’s my childhood friend and I know him the best, and I know that she’s just—she’s not the one for him. But he said—“

Someone accidentally bumped onto Kyungsoo and Chanyeol caught him by reflex. They both snapped back to reality that they were still in front of Kyungsoo’s office. The office hour had passed and people were starting to flood on the street.

“I’m sorry. Maybe we should find another place—“

“He said what, Chanyeol...?”

Chanyeol blinked at the determination laced underneath Kyungsoo’s tone. “He...he said...he couldn’t. And then he cried... And I...” The male didn’t finish his sentence as he lowered his head.

“Oh God,” Kyungsoo whispered as realization came across him. “Chanyeol, you should tell Baekhyun how you feel...”

“I—what?”

You don’t love him.

“Tell him you love him.”

You’re scared to lose him, but you don’t love him.

“Don’t lose him.”

No, I don’t love him, Jongin...

“Don’t let him think of someone else, Chanyeol.”

Jongin.

“Don’t let him think that you’re not in love with him.”

“Kyungsoo.”

“Don’t leave him when he needs you the most.”

“Kyungsoo.”

“Don’t let go of his hand when you’re in a crowded place—“

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol said sternly and grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm. “Stop crying.”

Kyungsoo choked when he realized his cheeks were wet and his eyes were filled with tears. “I—I’m sorry—“

Chanyeol took a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed it as gentle as possible on Kyungsoo’s eyes. He waited until the male calmed down a little bit. “...like I said, I’m the one who should be sorry...” Chanyeol sighed in exasperation. “I can’t... I can’t leave Baek.”

I don’t want Jongin to leave me.

“Baek’s my everything. I let him go once. I’m not letting him go again.”

I don’t want Jongin to let go of me.

“I’m not expecting you to forgive me...”

“It’s alright,” Kyungsoo interrupted with a soft tone. “And I’m sorry too... I’m sorry for not able to tell you how I feel. I’m sorry for holding back all this time...”

Chanyeol smiled a little and Kyungsoo smiled back. They stayed quiet for another moment. But unlike the other moments, this time, it was beginning to be a comfortable silence.

“He...” Kyungsoo slowly started in a low voice. “He told me that I need to learn to express what I feel.”

It ended there and Chanyeol didn’t even need to ask to know that he was referring to another male.

“But—but I’m scared. What if—what if I can’t—“

“It takes time, Kyungsoo-yah. Don’t be afraid,” Chanyeol said softly and gave Kyungsoo’s shoulder a calming squeeze.

“B—but—“

“He has your heart,” Chanyeol sternly said. “And it’s enough.”

Kyungsoo gave him a confused look.

“He’s definitely the luckiest man alive.”

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tended to keep things to himself.

But not this time.

Not anymore.

The doe eyed male had been desperately tried to reach Jongin but the line was busy. He patiently waited and tried again, but after the umpteenth attempt, Kyungsoo gave up and he cried in frustration. He felt like slamming the phone onto the ground, but fortunately he was able to think clearly and tossed the poor device onto the cushion of the couch instead. A loud knock on the door indicated someone was outside. Kyungsoo didn’t really pay attention who the guest was and opened without a second thought.

“Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo’s heart dropped for a split second at the sight.

Jongin was standing in front of his apartment—looking so damn good as usual.

Kyungsoo actually wanted to cry, but he didn’t know how it all turned into anger and he frowned in protest at Jongin.

“I’ve been trying to reach you!! Who are you calling??”

Jongin blinked. “You.”

It was then that Kyungsoo realized Jongin had the phone pressed onto the shell of his ear and Kyungsoo’s cheeks turned several shades deeper.

“We’ve been calling...each other?”

Jongin slowly detached the phone off of his ear. “Apparently so. I’ve been trying to reach you too but it’s always busy...”

“O—oh...”

Kyungsoo awkwardly stepped aside and Jongin walked into the apartment.

“...I have something to tell you.”

The doe eyed male rubbed his cheeks in attempt to make the embarrassment go away and lifted up his face. He saw the tanned male puffing his cheeks before speaking. Jongin looked troubled.

“...I don’t mind being your someone else.”

Kyungsoo gaped. “What—“

“I’m really fine with that, as long as—“

“But I don’t want it,” Kyungsoo interrupted abruptly.

Jongin grimaced darkly. “I see.”

“I don’t want you to be someone else,” Kyungsoo stated as he pinned Jongin against the door. It surprised Jongin at how bold Kyungsoo became, but his eyes softened when he noticed the latter’s hands were trembling on his shirt. Kyungsoo was also struggling with himself. He did his best to try. “You’re...you’re not someone else, Jongin-ah.”

“And...?”

Kyungsoo went pale at what he had just done and he almost pulled away. His real personality resurfaced and fear was starting to take over, but then Jongin caught his wrist. Kyungsoo gasped and his eyes moved down to their hands and his heartbeat dramatically increased. The weird sensation was flooding between the gap of air in his chest.

The kind of feeling that he only had for Jongin.

“And...?” Jongin emphasized.

“I—I like the bubble tea,” Kyungsoo whispered. He felt unsure, but then he caught Jongin’s eyes gleaming in emotions and it somehow gave him the strength to continue. “I like the fact that whenever I look over my shoulder, you would always be there to smile at me... I... I like, no, I love the way you kiss me...”

Jongin waited.

“Would—would it be selfish if I ask for your heart...?” Kyungsoo stuttered nervously. “Would it be selfish...if I ask you the same in return, Jongin-ah?”

Jongin jerked his thumb over Kyungsoo’s thick lips and the shorter of the two fluttered his eyes close at the touch.

Beautiful, Jongin thought. So damn beautiful.

“I want to try,” Kyungsoo whispered still with his eyes closed. “I want to try with you, Jongin-ah...” The tanned male’s thumb caressed his lips repeatedly and Kyungsoo shuddered slightly.

“Then does this mean your heart is mine now?”

Kyungsoo cracked his eyes open and shook his head. He shyly leaned forward to press his lips against Jongin’s and was glad to know that the other male didn’t pull away.

“It’s been yours from the start, Jongin-ah...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and met Hyunsik on his way out. He almost spun around upon seeing the other male, but Hyunsik’s warm smile stopped him from doing so.

“Hey.”

“Hey...”

Hyunsik stared curiously at him as they headed toward the entrance. “You look happy.”

“I am?” Kyungsoo blinked rapidly before breaking into a smile. “I am.”

He was happy.

Kyungsoo thought everything would fall apart if he broke up with Chanyeol, but fortunately he was scared for no reason. Chanyeol finally was able to tell his childhood friend that he loved him, and from what he heard from Junmyeon, Baekhyun’s wedding was canceled. Kyungsoo had been spending some time with Junmyeon too, whenever the pretty male wasn’t with Yifan and surprisingly, they got along just fine. Everything turned out alright and he was glad for that.

So yeah, Kyungsoo was happy.

The doe eyed male walked outside and his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Jongin.

The younger male—he turned out to be a year younger, but Kyungsoo didn’t really mind if he called him without adding hyung—had his eyes fixed on his phone. His lips curved into a beautiful smile and he was about to stalk forward to his boyfriend when he heard Hyunsik’s voice.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

At the same moment, Jongin took his gaze off of his phone and stared straight at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo smiled fondly.

“Yeah, he is...”