Chapter 1 Preview: "Journal entry 1"

"Sometimes I forget what it feels like to feel the crisp embrace of summer’s spontaneous moods to be a temperature so right, almost comforting the surface of the skin from the absence of another, but the summer often finds a way to produce a nostalgic feeling within as I stand outside, minutes to midnight, waiting for my shift to end. 

I almost lost the point of writing these pointless Day Entries. They once were written daily, back when my passions stirred for mere lust. was all I thought about. Sure is nice, but nothing beats warmth, something meaningful; I just don’t understand why that is so hard to find. I know it’s going to sound absolutely awful, but I know for a fact I am not the only one that has had this twisted thought; I don’t understand how some lucky people—I say lucky because it makes no sense to me—the really ugly one’s (sure it’s personality that counts, but that can only go so far), often end up with someone really beautiful. It’s almost frustrating to think about the age I am in and how much I have tried. I feel like almost every girl I had taken a genuine interest in never really knew what she wanted at the time, and wasted my time. 

But perhaps that was just my fault. I do have a tendency to obliviously jump into places that do not benefit me whatsoever. Whether it is or is not, it does not matter. What matters to me is the “now" and that’s what bothers me"