19: Love

That morning's surfing session was one of the best Tao had ever experienced. It seemed as though everyone was finally getting along, Kris and Jongin included. Although he wasn't sure of the reason for Jongin's turn-around, he was still grateful for it nonetheless, not just for his sake but for Kris' as well.

Tao cracked a smile while chowing down on his pancakes. The surfing crowd had invited themselves to breakfast. Baekhyun, Jongin, Junmyeon, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol were crowded around the table, eating this and that, sharing food and exchanging what sounded like three different conversations at once. It was entertaining, to say the least, especially when Kyungsoo got mad at something Jongin said and squirted syrup in his hair.

Despite the commotion at the breakfast table, Kris and Tao were fully aware of each other, stealing the occasional glance, giving each other that look which hinted things neither of them were perceptive enough to decode. Just as Tao had finished his first pancake, he felt something rub against his ankle and dropped his fork with a clatter. Looking down, he discovered that Kris was attempting to play footsie with him. Tao shot the mischievous male a glare, picked up his fork, and stabbed his pancake as if slaughtering a goat for divine slaughter. Kris merely smirked around his food and continued his actions beneath the table while appearing nonchalant.

"Stop it!" Tao mouthed.

"What?" Kris silently replied with an open mouthful of partially chewed food.

Tao blanched.

"AHEM." Someone cleared their throat very loudly, startling them both.

"What are you two doing?" Baekhyun raised a brow, catching the table's attention.

Tao reared his leg back, kicked Kris in the shin as hard as he could, then shoved another bite of pancake into his mouth. "Mwofing," he mumbled.

Kris drew in a sharp breath and let it out with a small whimper. Everyone blinked a few times before falling back into their various conversations. It was probably horrible to receive joy from inflicting misery upon someone you cared about but Tao liked to go against the grain. Plus somewhere deep down, Kris probably liked it anyway. That weirdo.

-

Kris banged on the bathroom door. "How long does it take you to get ready for a stupid party?"

Tao ignored the other as he finished combing out his tangled hair. It looked like he hadn't brushed it in a week, when in fact, it'd only been just yesterday. Most of the time he didn't see the point since his hair was usually dried out by the ocean. But tonight, for whatever reason, he felt the urge to look nice. Fifteen minutes later, Tao emerged from the bathroom feeling upbeat.

"About damn time. I thought you were conjuring up a cure for vanity in there." Kris was leaning against the wall in the hallway, arms crossed. “Trying to impress someone?”

Tao stuck up his nose. "Believe it or not, I actually like to look nice sometimes!" He was crestfallen that Kris hadn't commented on his outfit for the party, which included black skinny jeans and a loose, v-neck tank top. Suddenly, Tao did a double-take. Kris was clad in something he rarely wore--blue jeans--and a pale blue shirt that'd been left ed at the top to expose his defined collarbones. you surfer boy, Tao thought, as he bit the inside of his cheek. If he wasn't going to get compliments, he wasn't going to dish them out either.

"Ready to go?" Kris flashed a grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

Tao tilted his head for a moment, perplexed. Maybe Kris wasn’t in the mood to go out. He almost seemed... irritated.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" asked the blonde as he locked the front door behind them.

"Oh nothing." Tao picked at a loose thread hanging from his shirt.

Kris didn't look entirely convinced. "If you say so, Taozi."

Tao frowned. It wasn’t like Kris to be so testy. Perhaps the party would be exactly what the doctor ordered.

-

They arrived at the surf shop just after the sun had set. The parking lot was so full that Kris had to park on the other side of the road.

"Looks like a pretty good turn out," Kris commented on their walk towards the shop.

"I'm off the ing clock tonight," Tao huffed, "I refuse to be roped into work."

"Ditto." Kris wouldn't put it past Luhan. The guy was practically a workaholic.

While venturing across the gravel parking lot, Kris decided to test his luck and loosely wound his fingers with Tao's. He understood that Tao needed some time, yet in the back of his mind, a loudly ticking clock counted down the hours of summer, reminding him day in and day out that their time together was measured. Maybe he was being a tad too sentimental since today was the anniversary of his father's death. It served as a reminder of how easily people could be ripped out of a person's life. Kris didn't want to go through that again. He had Tao and wanted to keep him. Was that too much to ask for?

Tao began swinging their arms and Kris smiled. He loved these little moments when the other would open up. It gave Kris hope. Maybe Tao would stay and go to school here. Maybe they'd be able to stay together. Maybe things would all work out in the end. There were a lot of maybes, and although it made Kris feel foolish, he clung to every single one of them.

Just as quickly as the moment came, it vanished with the slip of Tao's fingers as they came upon the surf shop. It appeared like half the island had showed up for the festivities. People were dancing, chatting, horsing around, and checking out some of Kris' handmade surfboards that hung on display inside of the shop. Kris hoped tonight's party would bring in more business because Luhan could definitely use it. The guy had nearly emptied his savings to repair the shop. Who knew how long it'd take before he'd see any insurance money for the damages.

"Kris."

He knew that monotone voice from a mile away.

"Sehun. Did Luhan ditch you again?" Kris asked while approaching the register.

The teen rolled his eyes. "How did you guess?"

Luhan always gave Sehun a hard time. The kid may have been a brat but he had good intentions...most of the time. “And he’s trusting you with the register again? That’s a risky move,” he teased.

Sehun huffed. "Whatever. Listen, he told me to tell you guys that," Sehun sighed before taking on the commanding tone of his boss, "'Don't worry, Jongdae and Minseok lost a bet and need to pay up, so they'll be working your shifts tonight' -- or something like that."

Tao snorted. "As if we'd even planned on working."

"Yeah, well, you know Luhan," said Sehun.

"That we do," replied Kris.

"Hey," Sehun added hopefully, "You guys mind grabbing me a beer when you go around back? I'm gonna need one in order to make it through this bull."

"Sure thing kid." Kris patted Sehun on the back before leading Tao towards the back door.

Just as promised Luhan was grilling an insane amount hotdogs and hamburgers. Kris approached the grill, mouth watering at the delicious scent that curled around his nostrils.

“Heeeeyyy! If it isn't my two favorite coworkers!~! ” sang Luhan.

"Yeah right!" snapped Tao. "You were gonna make us work! Weren't you?"

Luhan faked a pout. "What makes you say that?" One condescending look from his employees had Luhan backtracking. "Well don't you two look vicious tonight." He quickly made a peace offering. "Hamburger?" Kris and Tao scooted closer to the grill and Luhan laughed. "I'll be taking that as a yes."

-

Kris soon deduced that hanging out with Jongdae and Chanyeol at the party had been a bad idea. He lost track of Tao but figured the other was probably wandering around and making new friends. The younger was finally coming out of his shell, and just as Kris had suspected, people gravitated towards the real Tao. Everyone was finally seeing what he'd seen since the very beginning. Smiling to himself, Kris finished off his third beer. Usually two or three was his limit but tonight he was feeling on edge. He needed something to take that edge off.

"Hey! I'm gonna grab another beer! You guys good?" Kris asked over the loud music.

"I could use another one!" Chanyeol flipped his cup upside down and watched a drop fall to the floor.

"Me too!" Jongdae chirruped, swiftly on his way to being plastered.

"Alright! I'll be right back!" Weaving around several people, Kris walked out the side door to the back where one of the coolers resided. Just as he grabbed three more beers and shut the lid, he caught sight of something very unsettling.

Jongin was chatting up Tao by the volleyball net. And Tao was laughing.

Kris felt his blood boil as he took a hurried step but paused. If he launched in with fists flying he'd be labeled as an . Not to mention, Tao would probably hate him for it too, especially given that Kris had no idea what the two were talking about. Why in the was Jongin being so nice? And to his damned boyfriend! Stealing a calming breath, Kris ran a hand through his hair, took another hard glance at the two, then stormed back into the surf shop. He the beers into his friends' hands before quickly popping the top to his own and taking several large gulps.

"Whoa-ho-ho! What's gotten into you!" sang Jongdae.

"Yeah man. Aren't you the designated driver or something?" added Chanyeol.

"Nope!" Kris stared at the beer can in his hand. He was much too irritated and flustered and just downright angry to deal with life tonight. Everyone was partying it up and having a good time. Let them. After all, how could he expect any of them to remember some long dead surfer from twenty years ago? How could he expect Tao to open up when he'd be leaving soon anyway? Kris really couldn't stand it. So he took another long sip of his drink and allowed the alcohol to work its magic.

-

Tao was introduced to several people, and at some point, got roped into a game of volleyball at the back of the surf shop. Baekhyun and Chanyeol even joined in on the fun despite the limp in Baekhyun's stride. They ended up being the dead weights of Tao's team, causing them to lose the game, but it was fun anyway. It wasn't until almost halfway through the night that Tao realized he hadn't seen Kris in a while.

"Hey, Minseok?" Tao walked up to his friend who'd taken up grilling duty in place of Luhan.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Kris?"

"Last time I saw him he was stumbling in that direction." Minseok pointed at the beach, and sure enough, Kris was clumsily making his way down the shore. "I don’t know what's going on but it's not like him to get drunk. Better go get him before he passes out in the sand."

Tao abandoned the grill to catch up to Kris. Before he even got there, he caught the scent of alcohol on the wind.

"TAOZI!" Kris suddenly turned around and slung a heavy arm over Tao's shoulder. "Did you come to rescue me?"

The scent of alcohol was heavy on Kris' breath but Tao let it roll off of him. The surfer had taken care of him when he'd been drunk so it was only fair that he return the favor.

"How much did you drink?" Tao asked, beginning to usher them back towards the shop.

"I don't knoooowwww~" slurred Kris, "I lost count after..." He paused to count on his fingers. "Eight?"

Eight drinks? Jesus freaking Christ! No wonder the man was smashed! Tao couldn't blame Kris for wanting to let loose and have a good time.The guy was usually busy taking care of everyone else. But he didn’t need to take it to Jongdae’s level.

"Need some help?" Minseok offered as Kris and Tao made their arduous journey toward the Jeep at the edge of the parking lot.

"I think I've got it," replied Tao with a strained smile. Kris was clumsy and heavy but Tao was determined to take care of this on his own. "Get your in the Jeep, surfer boy."

Kris yanked open the door with a sloppy salute. "Yesssss sir!"

Tao rolled his eyes before crawling into the driver seat. He didn't even have his license yet. And , this thing was manual? How in the hell was he supposed to drive it? "Keys?"

Kris grinned naughtily. "They're in my pock-et."

"Well then get--them--out so I can drive us home."

"Don't know how."

"Kris..." Tao warned.

Kris was unwilling to budge so Tao was forced to lean over and go fishing through his pockets. He could feel the surfer's heated breath on his neck and yelped when Kris suddenly pulled him flush against his chest.

"L-L-Let me go." Tao squirmed. This was not how their evening was supposed to go. And was Kris wearing cologne?

"Only if you give me a kiss."

"What!" Tao tried to pull back but Kris was strong.

"I've waited and waited but you've barely even let me touch you." Kris pouted. "Please."

Tao would be lying if he hadn't thought about kissing Kris again. Actually, he thought about it constantly, but the guy was drunk. He couldn’t allow himself to get roped into this type of situation. That pitiful, needy look in Kris' eyes had Tao caving all too easily, though. "O-Okay...but just a little one." he gulped, already hyper-aware of Kris' firm body. He really did want to kiss him. He’d been craving that warmth for quite some time but hadn't allowed himself the indulgence for fear that it might lead to other things. But they were in Kris' open Jeep, close to other people where it'd be nearly impossible to do anything risky, so what harm could it do?

Tao wasn't prepared for the way his body reacted when they kissed. His skin heated, heart raced, and mind transformed into jello. He found himself pulling at Kris' shirt, eager to get closer, breathing in the surfer and tasting the flavor of alcohol on his tongue. It wasn't until he felt something heavy and warm pool down south that he finally pushed away, wide-eyed and panting at just how far they’d taken things.

"Take us home, Taozi." Kris smiled lazily, "Before I do something stupid."

Wordlessly, Tao started up the Jeep and sat there, unsure of how to process everything. He wanted Kris, needed him, but knew that he shouldn't. Tao had been heartbroken before and refused to go down that road again. He'd been lucky to start patching things up with his father, but look at how long it'd taken him to get there. As he sat there tasting the remnants of Kris on his lips, Tao knew he'd gone too far, which only left him with two options: either put an end to this right here, right now, or dive head first into it. Both of them scared the out of him.

"What's the matter? Haven't you ever driven a stick shift before?" asked Kris.

Tao didn't answer.

"I'll take that as a no."

After receiving a very brief and unreliable crash course on how to shift, Tao somehow managed to get the Jeep rolling and made it onto the main road. He stalled several times along the way, earning angry honking from several cars behind them. By some miracle he got back to Kris' place without getting a ticket. It was an experience he'd rather not repeat. His nerves were virtually shot.

Kris needed help making it up the deck while Tao fumbled for the correct key. The sooner he put Kris to bed the better. Then Kris' breath tickled his neck. Tao audibly gulped, finding it nearly impossible to steady his hand long enough to unlock the door. Clearing his throat, he tried his best to sound annoyed. "Wh-What do you want?"

The tension between them was so high Tao could hardly breathe. He needed to get inside, he needed to get Kris into bed, he needed a cold drink of water, and he really needed to clear his head, because right now he wanted nothing more than to cave into the feelings he'd felt in the Jeep. But gahd! He shouldn’t be thinking about that right now!

"I want you," replied Kris, low and raspy while trailing his fingers down Tao's arm.

Tao nearly dropped the keys before whipping around. "You're making this very difficult," he admitted with flushed cheeks.

"Good." Kris leaned in and hummed lowly into Tao's ear. "Because this is how I feel every time I'm with you."

"I--" Tao lost his voice as Kris hovered over his lips.

"I don't want to wait anymore." Kris sounded completely fragile and vulnerable, as if admitting such a thing would break him. "Summer will be over soon...and I just...need--"

Tao closed the space between them, forcefully yanking Kris flush against his body via the taller’s wrinkled shirt collar. Lips and teeth clashed as they ravished each other against the door, not giving a damn that someone might drive by and see them. By some miracle they finally got it open before kicking it shut and stumbling through the house. They fell against the wall in the hallway, knocking down a picture that shattered when it hit the floor. Kris ran his hands up Tao's shirt before tugging it off, which was followed by Tao ripping open Kris' shirt, sending buttons flying across the hallway. Kris slid a leg between Tao's thighs and pushed up, drawing out a moan Tao had been trying so desperately to keep at bay.

"Let me know if it's too much," Kris mumbled against Tao's lips.

Tao had long since lost the ability to speak. As wrong as it was, he didn't have the strength to push Kris away. Not anymore.

They soon found themselves in the bedroom where Kris pushed Tao into the mattress. Tao arched his back as Kris began planting lingering kisses along his neck and collarbone. "K-Kris I--" Tao choked on air when a hand palmed the front of his jeans. He'd never been touched in such an intimate place before, and by God, it nearly undid him completely.

Through their bated breath and the hammering in his ears, Tao could barely make out the hushed words Kris mumbled under his breath as he kissed every inch of his exposed skin.

"Tao..."

"Stay with me..."

"D-Don't leave me..."

Tao threaded his fingers through Kris' hair and pulled him in for another kiss. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

It did little to soothe Kris whose brow remained knitted in a painful expression. Tao swore he felt his heart clinch at the sight. "Hey..." he whispered as he forced Kris to look at him, "What's wrong?"

Kris' eyes searched Tao's as a hand cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't be doing this right now. I'm not...I just can't." Kris rolled off of Tao and stared up at the ceiling.

Okay. Something was definitely wrong. It wasn't in Kris' nature to get drunk. Nor was it in his nature to be this emotional. "Kris, what's wrong? You know you can tell me."

Exhaling slowly, Kris was silent for several moments, as if he were mustering the courage to speak. "Today is a very important day for me. It’s the anniversary of my father's death."

Tao's blood ran cold as realization hit. How could he have not known? Kris had been acting strange all evening but he hadn't even bothered to ask him what was going on. It explained why the surfer had been so grabby and pushy. Kris must've been looking for comfort, which made Tao wonder--just how long had Kris been forced to go through this all by himself each year?

"I'm sorry. Kris, I had no idea."

"I know. It's okay."

"No it's not. I should've known that something was wrong. It's not like you to get wasted. And with Jongdae at that."

Kris chuckled under his breath before gently grabbing Tao and pulling him into his arms. "You make a good point." Kris let out a tired sigh. "And I'm already regretting it."

Tao snuggled into the Kris' side. Maybe talking about it would help. "So, what was your dad like?" he asked.

"He was awesome!" Kris beamed. "If only you could've seen him surf! He was practically a legend."

"Really?" Tao envisioned Kris’ father surfing the waves. Probably looking not too dissimilar from his son.

"Sometimes, when the swells were really good, he'd even keep me out of school and take me surfing with him."

Tao smiled up at Kris. "I wish my parents would've been cool like that. One time I broke my arm on the playground and had to get a cast. Even though I was sore, my parents still made me go to school the next day."

"Damn. That does ." Kris laughed.

They were quiet for a while. Tao was happy that Kris had opened up. The surfer had a bad habit of keeping his feelings shrouded beneath a sunny smile. He knew how difficult it must've been for Kris to open up, therefore, Tao felt inclined to do the same.

"Is there anything, you know, that you'd like to know about me?" inquired Tao.

"Why yes. There is." Kris shifted so he could look down the length of Tao's body. Then, much to Tao's horror, his lips curled into an evil grin. "Is there a reason why your jeans are poking me?"

Tao was confused. But then...he looked down and... Oh my god! Tao jolted up in bed, grabbed a pillow, and tucked it between his legs. "IT'S NOT-- I WASN'T-- STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

Kris merely rolled onto his side and smiled. "Relax, Taozi. It happens to the best of us."

Tao's eyes followed Kris' hand as it wandered down to cover up his own... oh. Tao felt his face burn before looking away.

Kris sighed before wiggling beneath the blankets. "I'm too drunk for this right now. Let's just go to sleep."

"HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO SLEEP IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS!" whined Tao, cupping his forehead in embarrassment.

Kris shrugged with a smile. "Just let it go. I won't say anything if you won't."

Tao was mortified. They'd made out, touched each other, rolled around in bed together... and then... . Tao squirmed at the annoying throbbing between his legs while trying to think of the grossest things imaginable, like Kris chewing his food like a barbarian, which only served to make him nauseous. What he really wanted to do was run away, bash his head against the wall, or take a scalding shower. Instead, Tao fought his urge to flee and eased down into the blankets next to Kris. He expected an arm to drape over his waist but was surprised when the surfer linked their fingers together and closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Taozi. Sorry for being such a crazy drunkard tonight."

Tao relaxed into his pillow. "Night. And sorry for being so thick-headed."

Kris was the first to fall asleep--no doubt due to the alcohol he'd consumed--while Tao watched him sleep. Tao liked these opportunities when he could fully take in their time together. What they had was unique and special. He'd never met anyone like Kris, but then again, that was what made his summer so interesting. And that, Tao deduced, was what he loved most about Kris.

Then it hit him.

Love.

Tao snorted softly and closed his eyes. How in the world he'd fallen in love with such an idiot was beyond his span of comprehension.