At least 3 hours passed since they left school and stood outside, enjoying the night breeze. The sky night was full with stars and the moon was bight and big. It was a night for the couples, for the eternal lovers to proclaim their love for each other and hold each other and never let go. Well, according to his literature teacher that was exactly what happened in nights like these. Hey, you had to give props to the man for being such a dreamer. The man still believed in love and in soul mates and that everyone would end up finding their true love soon or later. If only it was that easy.

Lee Taemin looked around. He and his friend were seating on the floor, in a small park in front of their building. Life liked to play tricks on people. For them, was the fact that when Lee Taemin entered pre-school, he and his family gained new front door neighbors. With the strangely sweet couple was a small child with black hair and tanned skin. He didn’t like the child. Not one little bit. He used to call him ugly and annoying and refused to spend any time together with the child.

It was only when he entered middle school and Kim Jongin was on his last year of primary school. He can’t really tell why they became friends because honestly, he doesn’t remember. He just knows that now he’s pretty sure he can’t live without his best friend by his side. The loneliness would be unbearable and he was absolutely positive that he would enter some sort of depression that his friends wouldn’t be able to take him out.

Before going to the empty park they had went to a convenience store nearby and bought almost every single junk food known to mankind. They just were hungry and weren’t sure of what they wanted. So why wonder when you can buy everything? Not to mention Lee Taemin would act like a child if he didn’t had banana milk. He didn’t like the drink, he was just completely obsessed with it. Kim Jongin had the theory that if he could, he would switch his own blood with the drink.

“It’s really quiet here…” The younger said as he drank a little bit of his soda. They were used to see the park at least with a couple of children playing around, but then again, it was really late for them, even if it was  weekend the next day. It was normal, little children shouldn’t be out too late. And their parents just allowed them to stay out late because they knew Lee Taemin wouldn’t leave Kim Jongin’s side, no matter what happened. And being with each other meant no trouble. At least, in theory.

The older just nodded and continued drinking his soda not really caring about what his friend was saying. He was enjoying the warm night and the breeze caressing his skin. It felt really nice and he couldn’t help having a small smile on his face as he felt it. He didn’t like the summer, but he did enjoy these little things. It made him happy and made him enjoy the little things in life. Even if it annoyed him that he was sweating and couldn’t really stop it, no matter how much he drank. And he wasn’t even moving around because if he did, he was sure that he was going to pass out.

Kim Jongin looked at his quiet friend and smiled. He was used to have him like that. He wasn’t the kind of guy who spoke much, either of them were. They found that talking was a little boring and completely overrated. When it wasn’t needed, why force it? And he would be fine with being in complete silence until they went back home, but there was something in the back of his head begging him to speak, to clear up one of his biggest doubts.

He honestly couldn’t say why he had that doubt or why it came, but since it did, he couldn’t stop thinking about it and couldn’t stop making hundreds of scenarios where he would get completely different answers. It wasn’t a hard question actually, but again, he was just another teenager. If his imagination didn’t run wild, something was completely wrong with him that was for sure.  “Taemin-“

“Hyung!” Lee Taemin really didn’t mind his friend to call him without the honorifics, but sometimes he liked to . Sometimes he liked to feel a little superior, even if it only lasted a couple of moments. It was fun and somehow empowering. He looked to the side and saw his younger friend roll his eyes.

“Whatever.” He said as he drank a little bit of his soda. A small pause and then Kim Jongin continued on talking again. “Can I ask you something?” The older raised a brow and looked to his friend. He saw the almost serious expression and couldn’t help but think that it was probably an important question.

He nodded and the taller smiled weakly. “Do you….How do you imagine your future?” He made another pause and looked down to his soda can and Lee Taemin couldn’t help but think his friend was nervous. He couldn’t understand why, but he decided he should just keep on listening before giving an answer.

“I mean, do you see yourself getting married? Having a nice job? A family?” Lee Taemin looked to his own soda can and then pressed his back against the dirty wall behind him. He took the can next to his lips and couldn’t help but think about his friend’s question.

“Well…” He started but Kim Jongin didn’t look at him. Instead he kept his eyes down, not sure if he should face the older at that moment. “I think I’m going to get married and have kids…” He continued as he started staring at the sky.

 He noticed that the sky was clean, with no clouds but there weren’t that many stars in the sky. “I mean, isn’t that we all should do? Find a normal girl, a normal job and have normal kids?” Lee Taemin asked as he gave his full attention to his friend. He saw that his friend wasn’t that pleased with the answer, but honestly he couldn’t understand why. He just gave a very honest answer didn’t he?

“You say that it’s what you should do…” Kim Jongin starts and the older doesn’t notice him playing with the can in his fingers. He feels like his heart is going to come out of his mouth at any second, and honestly he can’t really understand why. “…but is it what you want to do?” Lee Taemin looked at him with a raised brow.

He wasn’t expecting that question, at least not from his best friend. He was used to see the taller one being so serious about something, and right now, his face was not only red, but it looked like he was going to pass out at any moment. Maybe the hot weather around them was making Kim Jongin a little hot.

“Isn’t it all the same? Should, want…in the end we live regular lives always thinking about our forgotten dreams and thinking about how would it be if we had done something different.” Lee Taemin took another sip from his drink and continued looking around the small park. He saw a couple passing by them and for the looks of it, not only they were extremely happy but extremely drunk. Well, at least he hopped it was a real couple. God knows how erts worked at night.

Kim Jongin started chewing his bottom lip and then looked to his distracted friend. He looked like their surroundings were much more interesting than their talk. Perhaps he was right, but right now he wanted Lee Taemin’s attention. More than usual. “But Taemin…don’t you want to live a happy life? A life you’re proud to say it’s yours to command? That doesn’t follow those rules? That isn’t average? That isn’t normal?” He asked with a blank expression that the older couldn’t really read. He was just staring at Kim Jongin not sure why his friend was asking those questions. It wasn’t in his character.

“I really can’t chose Jongin…we are normal teens. We’re bound to have a normal life. A life like so many have. We will find a job, a wife and have kids. We’ll get old with them and dream of a different life, but never do a thing about it. We’ll get grey hair, our children will probably get tired of us and then we day.”

He made a small pause and looked to Kim Jongin who honestly, looked a little disappointed with the answer he was receiving. At a certain point, Lee Taemin wasn’t sure if he should keep talking or if he should just shut the hell up before he said something wrong. “We’re just two teenage boys who will end up with a normal life, liking it or not…We aren’t special in any way.”

“You’re special to me….” Kim Jongin whispered to himself but the older man heard it. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. He wasn’t sure of how to answer. Sure, he heard his friend say a million times he was special and that he couldn’t live without him, but this time felt different. Completely different. He stopped staring at Kim Jongin and gave his full attention to the empty can in his hands.

An awkward silence took over the two boys. They could hear cars passing by, people entering the building. Small insects could be heard and the warm breeze around them suddenly got could and either of them knew why. Or maybe they did but decided to ignore. But Lee Taemin being who he was, he refused to keep quiet. He had so much to say right now, but he didn’t know how to. “….I am?”

No matter how big the speech he had inside his head, he only managed to say those two words. He thought he sounded pathetic, but at this point he really couldn’t care less. Kim Jongin nodded even thought his friend couldn’t see. Both boys started feeling their hearts beat too fast to be normal. Their breathing was getting faster, their cheeks redder and for some reason they couldn’t look into each other’s eyes. It was too embarrassing and they didn’t know what to do.

Kim Jongin moved a little closer. Their shoulders brushed and Lee Taemin jumped a little from his sit but didn’t move away. Instead, Kim Jongin stood there and without saying a single word he grabbed the older man’s hand. It made the older jump in his place but didn’t pull away. Instead he held the man’s hand harder and both stood there staring at their hands.

“I don’t want a normal life Taemin.” He paused and squeezed the man’s hand, refusing to let go. He was sure if he did the older was going to leave him or at least move away a little bit. He wanted to keep him there. At least just for a little while. “I don’t want to live an average life. I don’t want to be like everyone else.” He knew where he was going with this. Lee Taemin knew exactly where his friend was going with this, and even thought it was making his heart jump he wasn’t sure if he was ready to listen what was about to come. “…And I surely don’t want to have a normal wife or a normal family!”

Lee Taemin swallowed and then felt the younger man caress the back of his hand with his thumb. The contrast of skins was something that he always found beautiful and somehow poetic. It made no sense, but for him it did. “…Then what do you want?” He asked. He felt Kim Jongin’s cheeks against his and he swore to himself he had to learn how to control his body. He didn’t know they were that close until he felt the other man’s skin against his.

“…I want a life with you. I want to finish high school and travel the world with you. I want to move to a place where two men being together isn’t wrong…I want to adopt children with you…and mostly I want to be with you until I die…” Another long pause and Lee Taemin could feel his cheeks burn even more. If he wasn’t touched by those words, he was sure he was some heartless bastard who shouldn’t step on this earth anymore. “….I want to love you.”

Both men looked at each other. They looked right into each other’s eyes and no words were necessary.  Unspoken words were telling them exactly what they needed to know. What they needed to know to be happy at that exact moment. The younger pulled the shorter a little closer and they could feel themselves getting shy for the first time since their friendship started.

The older man just felt a small smile appear on his lips and his cheeks burn, more than before. He allowed his head to rest on Kim Jongin’s shoulder, surprising the younger a little. The taller smiled happily and with his free hand he brushed Lee Taemin’s brown hair very gently. His fingers at the same rhythm as the breeze around them. “….If being average means I can be with you until we’re old and grey…” Lee Taemin started and the other could already feel a happy smile crossing his face. “….I think average is pretty good.”

He raised his face to look to Kim Jongin. Both men smiled to each other and moved their faces a little closer. “….I think average is just perfect.”

The End