“Why are you standing there as if you have seen a ghost?” she asked as she took off her shoes.

 

Yes, I was literally seeing a ghost. I wanted to scream, shout, cry and go all crazy but I did not, for she was a living person. She was breathing. She had a shadow. She was talking to me. And now, I am confused with the definition of the word ‘ghost’. As I was too young to comprehend the concept of death, everyone around me simply told me that she went to a faraway place up in the sky. When I was finally old enough to understand death, her existence to me has already unknowingly reduced to that of photos and blurred memories. Yet, there she was, talking to me as if she was a figment of my imagination. Indeed, I have imagined numerous times if not dreamed of having a conversation with her when I saw my friends’ mothers or whenever they complained about how naggy their mothers were. But that was it. Sad to say, if I were to define the word “mother”, she was just the person who has given birth to me.

 

Seeing her alive in front of me, I wasn’t sure what kind of feelings I should have right now, as I was too young when she passed and I never had the chance to know her.

 

Should I be feeling happy that I finally get to meet her? Or angry that she left me, depriving me of motherly love at such a young age? Or nothing since she was just a familiar stranger?

 

I was undecided.

 

“Did I stun you with my beauty?” she joked as I remained unresponsive.

 

She is beautiful.

 

I have always known, from my well treasured photo of her. Years have seemingly passed without a trace since the photo was taken, except that few strands of white hair. Yes, the photo where she was holding me and smiling widely. That one photo which I have stared at and couldn’t help wondering why she was smiling.

 

Was it because of me? What was she thinking when she was holding me? Would she have smiled so happily if she knew she would not be there on my first day of school? Or when I had my first fight with a friend? Or when I fall in love? Love. All those queries faded in the presence of one single question.

 

Did she love me?

 

“Now you are worrying me. Have you eaten?” she held my hand and looked at me worriedly.

 

I got my answer. She was worried. She was concerned. She cared. She loved.

 

At that instant, my body seemed to have a mind of its own as I pulled her into a tight hug. My tears started to flow uncontrollably as I squeezed out the words I never thought I could ever tell her.

 

“I miss you.”

 

-

 

She must be taken aback by my sudden outburst of emotion as to her, she was only away for a few days, not 20 years.

 

Part of me felt guilty as she seemed to be on treading lightly, stealing glances at me every now and then while whipping up dinner.

 

“I am fine, mum.” I assured her when I caught her peeping over her shoulders in my direction.

 

She turned around fully and pouted. “Not fair! You have been staring at me since we entered the kitchen.”

 

I broke out a laugh at her sudden childish act.

 

Do mums not act their age?

 

I have to admit, I have been watching her every move in the kitchen as I was fascinated by the idea of having my mum making dinner for us. For me.

 

“Do you need my help?” I offered, not wanting to miss a chance of creating memories with her.

 

“No thanks. Last time I checked, you and kitchen were incompatible.” She chuckled as she slapped my hands away from her work area.

 

“Besides, you never offer to help out in the kitchen.” She paused, probably thinking about how hard it was to get another Tiffany into the kitchen.

 

“I just did.” I nonchalantly countered.

 

Our first mother-daughter bickering. I smiled at that thought.

 

She narrowed her eyes and looked at me for the longest time.

 

“Who are you?”

 

My smile disappeared in an instant.

 

“Now I think about it, you do look a little different.” She said as she gave me a top to toe scan.

 

Uhoh.

 

“Are you keeping something from me?” she asked seriously with a frown.

 

Double uhoh.

 

I could feel my heart pounding, palms sweating and I would probably run the moment she makes any sudden movement. Just as I was calculating the distance to the nearest exit, she laughed and said, “You should have seen your face! That’s for worrying me just now.”

 

What in the what?!

 

“Mummmmmm!” I whined but she just continued laughing.

 

Suddenly, she stopped laughing and held her chin as she looked at me again.

 

“I was serious about you looking different though.” She thought aloud.

 

Oh my god. She is relentless. Now I know where the other Tiffany gets her driven traits.

 

“Aish, kids these days. Just a few days away from them and they all grow up so fast.” She mumbled to herself as she dramatically raised both her hands defeated and went back to cooking.

 

Phew.

 

-

 

She smiled proudly as she continued to watch me gobbled down the sumptuous meal she whipped up. It was as good as it can be – the smell, the colour, the taste and most importantly, the company.

 

It was all good until she finally let out what was troubling her.

 

“I am sorry, Tiff. But I have to leave again after this. I just dropped by to check on you.” She said apologetically and carefully as she observed my reactions.

 

To be honest, I was upset, not because she had to leave again but the fact that I couldn’t spend more time with her. Then again, I should be relieved, considering my current situation.

 

I put down my spoon as I looked up at her and she returned the look worriedly.

 

“It’s alright.” I said defeated.

 

“Says the girl who was wailing an hour ago.” She said, still affected by my earlier outburst. “Perhaps I should cancel my trip…”

 

“NO!” I blurted out mindlessly.

 

“O…kay…” she whispered, apparently taken aback.

 

There was a moment of silence before I suddenly thought of making this memory permanent.

 

“Mum, is it alright that we take a picture before you leave?” I asked hesitantly, wondering if it would sound weird for her.

 

Surprisingly, she accepted it without question, perhaps still feeling guilty for her frequent business trips.

 

-

 

As the clock strike eight, I couldn’t help but start worrying about when she was ever going to leave. Don’t get me wrong but the other Tiffany is about to come home and letting our mom see two of us wasn’t that a great idea.

 

“Mum, say, what time is your flight again?” I asked as I looked at the clock for eighteenth time within the minute.

 

“Why? Can’t wait for me to leave now?” she pouted, arms akimbo.

 

Aish, why is she acting cute again?

 

“I am just worried about your flight!” I defended. “You don’t want to miss your plane, do you?”

 

“Fine.” She grabbed her bags and headed for the door.

 

I chuckled a little as I observed her child-like behavior. I would have never picture her as someone who is childish. As much as she differs from what I thought a mother would act, she was all I want for a mother.  

 

“Mum?” I called out as she put on her shoes.

 

“What?” she replied coldly, seemingly still upset with me.

 

I pulled her into another tight hug as I took in the warmth I would probably feel for the last time. It was at this moment that the feeling of her leaving me again set in.

 

“Can we stay like this for a while?” I asked as I didn’t want to let her go.

 

“Says the girl who wants me out of the door just a minute ago.” She teased but continued to hold me tightly. “You are such a weird kid.”

 

“Am not.” I pouted as I reluctantly broke the hug but was still holding her hand.

 

I looked down as I thought of the three words that I have meant to say from the moment she walked in. Taking a deep breath, I readied myself and looked back up into her eyes.

 

“I love you.”

 

“And I love you too.” She replied and finally broke out a smile.

 

-

 

I was staring into space as I reminisce the past few hours I had with mum. It would be the best memories I would ever have besides those I shared with Taeyeon. I was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t realize the other Tiffany was back until she the TV.

 

“Hey, mum was back just now.” I smiled at the thought of her as I turned to look at Tiffany’s reactions.

 

“I know.” She replied, seemingly unconcerned with the meeting of my life.

 

“How did you know?” I asked, a little disappointed by her lack of reaction.

 

“I saw her.” She answered, still unperturbed.

 

“What?! Did she see you?” I panicked for a second but realized I was still here at this dimension.

 

“No.”

 

Okay. She is really upset. Did something happen during the study session?

 

“How’s your study session?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“What’s with the monosyllabic responses?”

 

“…”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“…”

 

What’s wrong with her? Is she upset with not being able to spend time with mum?

 

“Remember that time I said what’s mine is yours?” she asked and finally broke her silence.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“That doesn’t apply to everything.”

 

“Huh?” I tilted my head in confusion.

 

She’s not talking about mum, is she?

 

After another moment of silence, she looked up and straight into my eyes.

 

“This TaeTae is mine.” She said firmly without looking away.

 

-

 

A/N:

My apologies for taking some time to update. I actually finished this chapter and then rewrote it as the first draft was really... ugh. Well, I am still new at this and therefore not used to writing. Hopefully, I am not starting to get boring.

And! Thanks for the comments! I really appreciate it! =)