Hey guys! me again with an update :)
I know I made you wait, lots of stuff happened irl and this chapter was SUCH A PAIN TO WRITE
To be honest, I thought I would just give up on it (more than once), but I eventually managed to complete it!
I really hope you'll like it and I am sincere when I say that I'll try not to take too long for the next one!
Please enjoy ~

Donghae stepped out of the flat and quietly shut the door. His heart clenched as the lock made a small clicking sound and set another barrier between him and Hyukjae. He shuddered. The air was cold and wet, nothing like the comfortable warmth of the apartment, and it nastily sneaked under his thin clothes, covering his body with goose bumps. The floor under his bare feet was unpleasantly chilly too and felt rough against his skin, somewhat hostile.

His guts churned unpleasantly, but this time not due to the cold. He began to tremble with growing fear. He was surrounded by the usual darkness but he felt utterly terrified, to the point his knees grew feeble like jelly.

He had gone outside of the flat a few times but had never done it alone, never had had to find his way through the darkness and the unknown without Hyukjae. The elder had always guided him and held his hand to show him the way. And, as he stood there, Donghae realized with mortification that he had no clue where to direct his feet, no knowledge about how he would make it to the streets by himself. The realization suddenly hit him like a slap and made him feel miserable and helpless.

A strong feeling of distress and loneliness crashed over him, making his chest ache with an unbearable sensation of heaviness. He stood there for a few long minutes, feet rooted to the floor, trembling from head to toes and unable to move. A layer of cold sweat soon covered his skin. A small pearl ran down his forehead, only to end its race in the blindfold tightly tied around his eyes.

Suddenly, the loud sound of a door being slammed echoed through the building, followed by the faint voice of a woman and the laughter of another. Donghae jumped in shock and his heart started to hammer against his chest. Fear crawled through his veins, mixing with his anxiety. The mere idea of meeting a stranger filled him with panic. He finally snapped out of his petrified state and fought his terror, forcing himself to move. He couldn’t stay there, he had to get away before Hyukjae found out he was gone. He had to protect Hyukjae from his curse, and make sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore.

Wobbling on his legs, he took a step away from the apartment's door. His hands searched out for support and he found a wall to rely on and guide himself with. He released a long, shaky breath, but the lump down his throat was tight and made it hard for him to breath. He was on the verge of crying again, burning tears gathering under his lids, but he fought back his sobs.

He felt his way, using his hands against the wall and carefully taking one step after another. He had no idea where he was going, or where he had to go. He couldn't even tell if he was taking the right direction so far. The sounds from the outside were muffled and wouldn’t help him find his way. He only knew from memory that he had to find the staircase to reach the door leading outside.

His heavy breathing echoed through the silence, making his state of anxiety grow by each second. The tension inside his chest was strong and suffocating, almost unbearable, and left him dizzy and nauseous. His moves progressively turned unsteady and hesitant as he slowly progressed through the corridor. A soft sob slipped out of his quivering lips, but he promptly bit his bottom lip to repress his cries.

He kept moving slowly, following the wall for what felt like an eternity. His feet were already starting to hurt, suffering from the direct contact with the hard and freezing floor, but he didn’t stop his tracks. His breath however hitched in surprise and shock when his foot abruptly met with nothing but air.

Without being able to stop it, he felt himself lose his balance and fall forward. By instinct, he brought up his arms and wrapped them around his head in a vain attempt to protect himself. His shoulder was the first part of his body to hit the sharp edge of the steps and his breath got caught in his throat from the shock. A rush of pain exploded through his limb, and he parted his lips to release a cry, but the second impact occurred faster. His back was next to harshly collide with a sharp edge, and then his shoulder again, as he rolled down the stairs.

It happened fast and abruptly, and took about five seconds only. Donghae didn't realize what was going on until he ended up lying on the floor at the end of the staircase, curled into a ball of pain. Every part of his body seemed to hurt and burn. He gasped loudly, struggling to catch his breath back. A taste of bitter iron filled his mouth, but he couldn't care about it when his head kept throbbing and spinning like crazy.

He failed to hold back his tears this time and a strangled sob echoed through the silent corridor, quickly followed by another and more. He cried softly, letting out all the pain and the frustration. His hot tears damped his blindfold, leaving it uncomfortably clammy against his face. He gasped loudly, unable to steady his chaotic and chocked pants. He didn’t know what hurt the most between his body and his soul.  

After a minute, he was still sobbing quietly as he tried to stand up. Yet a sharp pain rushed through his limbs and he whimpered, falling back on the cold floor. A new wave of cries emerged from his throat and turned him into a mess of gasps and sobs. He sniffed and tried to calm down by taking several long and uneven breaths, exhaling shakily, but his chest was hurting too.

It took a long moment before he managed to relax enough and breath properly again. He tried to get up, this time being prepared for the pain. He cringed when his muscles hummed and burned, but he didn’t let his aching body fall back to the floor. He sat up first, and then leaned against the nearest wall. Slowly, he pushed on his legs until he was standing on his weak feet again.

At least, he had found the stairs to get out.

Trembling and sobbing, he limped along the wall, putting all his weight on it. There was a sharp pain pulsing through his right ankle and he couldn’t put any pressure on it, causing his steps to be slow and diffident. He followed the wall, progressing in a snail pace through the building, until he finally made it to the exit door.

He frowned as he ran his hands over the door’s knob. It didn’t quite seem to be the door he thought he would find. The one he had taken with Hyukjae had a big round handle, while this one felt much smaller and flat. Still, he pushed on it experimentally and let the door creak open. A gush of cold wind caressed his skin as soon as the door was ajar, making his hair twirl around his face and his skin shudder.

His heart made a somersault. The sounds of shops, cars, people and other loud noises reached his ears from all directions and a strong sense of panic began to invade his system once again. Smells filled his nose, while the overload of sounds left him dizzy. There were too many sensations, too many feelings for him to take in, and it felt overwhelming.

He remained frozen on the spot for a long moment, too frightened to dare and walk out of the building. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he could just go back to Hyukjae and to his warm embrace. But the image of Choco’s dead body was haunting him, just like the memory of Hyukjae’s silent cries.
He stepped outside on an impulse, fleeing from the pain of his thoughts. His mind was spinning with images of himself hurting Hyukjae, hurting Choco, or Kyuhyun and Heechul, and he felt like throwing up just imagining it. More than ever, he felt like he was the worst threat for the ones he loved. He wished he had never let the others convince him otherwise. He wished he never had taken off his blindfold.

He mentally repeated these words over and over again as he bravely took a few steps forward. Again, he searched for a wall to guide himself. He didn't care about where he was going this time, the only thing that mattered was to get far away, so that Hyukjae wouldn't find him and take him back.
A nasty voice began to whisper poisonous words to his mind though, about Hyukjae never wanting him back anyway, about Hyukjae now hating him and wanting him gone, and it made his heart drop to his stomach. He couldn't stop the torture he was inflicting to himself, and he didn't want to. After all, he deserved it.

The noises around him were loud and scary. There were so many sounds it became deafening. Voices, honks, the purring of cars and so many other things he couldn't distinguish. They all mixed together and created a blurry cacophony inside his head. The smells were overwhelming too, some nice and others not, and it was barely possible to focus on each of them as they invaded his nose all at once. Yet, as much as the sensations were incredible, amazing, it wasn’t enough to deliver him from the heavy guilt weighting on his shoulders and on his heart.

He limped his way along the streets, hands pressed flat against the rough and dirty walls, feet hurting every time he bumped into an obstacle or stepped on a sharp item. Small cuts and bruises were already forming and accumulating all over his body, but he welcomed the burning pain like a punishment for his crimes.
He didn't think much about the direction he was taking, only obsessed about running away.

He wasn’t sure how he managed to keep moving. He was terrified and heartbroken. He only wanted to stop and give up. And his fear kept growing as he walked down the streets and began to hear people whispering about him. Cursed. Dangerous. Stray. His ears caught such words, pronounced with hushed voices and worried tones, and it made him nervous.

Before he k