Author's Note: If I tell you that this is awf...will I get scolded T_T

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No one wanted to get close to Wu Yifan because of his personality.

He was known for his amazing skills in basketball, but his moodiness and grumpiness were more famous than his sport activities. Some said he was a hitman who just happened to fake his identity by going to the university. Others said he was a part of a well known gangster who currently tried to expand the group by recruiting university students. They were just rumors, of course, but it was true, Yifan had such an intimidating aura that it got people to think twice before talking to him—or to even be his friends. Upon seeing his face, anyone would probably choose to run for their lives instead than to have a nice chat.

Junmyeon was never really bothered by it.

Afterall, he rarely met Yifan. They had different classes and Junmyeon only saw Yifan once or twice at the basketball practice—simply because Chanyeol was there for the practice, too.

So when Yifan suddenly cornered him against the wall with his hands pinning Junmyeon’s sides as a sign that he didn’t have any intention of letting him walk away, Junmyeon felt his knees wobbling and his heartbeat dramatically increased as if he was in a horror movie. Junmyeon wondered if he had done any mistake or even owed him some money, but then Yifan spoke so closely to his ear, asking him to be his boyfriend. It almost took a whole minute for Junmyeon to realize that the scary Wu Yifan was confessing to him.

Love confession, to be exact.

Junmyeon was so shocked that he couldn’t even utter a proper response. He felt himself squirming under Yifan’s unreadable gaze as he glued his back onto the wall, trying to inch away but of course to no avail. If it was any other person, he probably would just stay calm and shrug it off, but this was Wu Yifan he was facing at the moment.

The poker face person. The man everyone feared. The man everyone tried to avoid.

Junmyeon mentally whimpered and wondered if Yifan would let him go if he said he needed time to think...

He wouldn’t know until he tried.

“C—can—can I think about it...?”

Yifan narrowed his eyes at Junmyeon. “You have five minutes.”

“N—no, I mean—“ Junmyeon hugged the books in his chest even tighter and absently wondered why there wasn’t a single person around them at the moment. Oh right, they were probably too scared to interfere. “I—I need...some time to—“

“I said,” Yifan interrupted his stuttering and his low tone sounded dangerous. “Would you—“

Junmyeon squeaked a yes without thinking.

“R—really?”

It took him the entire strength he had in his body to just answer the question that unconsciously, Junmyeon closed his eyes in fear because he had a stupid thought that Yifan would snap or hit him or something, but something about his reaction earlier made him cracked his eyes open. Junmyeon was a bit taken aback by Yifan’s disbelief expression and did the Chinese male just...stutter?

“I said—“

“Y—yes! R—really!”

This time, it was Yifan who seemed a bit taken aback by Junmyeon’s reaction. The taller of the two carefully took a step back, giving the other male some space. Junmyeon’s lips trembled as he finally let out the breath he had been holding, but his back was still pressed tightly against the wall.

“Wow,” Yifan breathed quietly, but it was more to himself than to Junmyeon. “So, uh...I still have class today, but...do you want to go home together...tomorrow?”

Junmyeon’s jaw almost dropped because suddenly, Yifan’s scary image vanished to God knew where. The male tried his best to remember if he had any other appointment tomorrow, but his mind could barely function at the moment. Everything that happened was just too overwhelming that Junmyeon could only nod dumbly in reply.

Tomorrow.

“Great,” Yifan murmured to himself. The male took another step back and stared blankly at Junmyeon. “I’ll...wait for you after class.”

Again, Junmyeon could only nodded dumbly. Both of them did nothing but stared at each other for a while. It was funny because Junmyeon had a feeling that Yifan was as shock as him. Their eyes lingered at each other more than it was supposed to. Junmyeon felt heat was starting to creep to his cheeks and he had to look away.

He never knew Yifan was this breathtaking.

Junmyeon felt a gentle pat on his head and he glanced up. It surprised him to know that Yifan gave him a calming smile before turning around to walk away.

Wu Yifan is...smiling...?

When Yifan was out of his peripheral vision, Junmyeon felt like his whole body had stopped functioning because he helplessly fell onto the floor and his books scattered everywhere. He hugged his body in attempt to stop the trembling, but he wasn’t sure if it was fear anymore.

Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what he felt.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon thought he was probably out of his mind.

The confession shocked him too much that he missed his train twice and missed his station once. Junmyeon couldn’t help but wondering if what he had just done was right. Because honestly, he felt nothing toward Yifan and the ‘yes’ basically slipped out as a panic respond. Sure, there were times when Junmyeon thought Yifan was handsome but that was all. Like anyone else, he was too scared to approach Yifan. Like anyone else, he didn’t want to get himself into trouble. It had never occured to him to be romantically involved with the taller male because, once again, everyone in their university tried to avoid the Chinese male.

Junmyeon had a nightmare that night.

Morning came too soon to his liking because when he woke up, it was when he realized that he had an appointment with Chanyeol.

Junmyeon felt doomed.

He knew for a fact that Chanyeol disliked Yifan for no reason. He just did. Junmyeon wasn’t sure if it had something to do with the basketball match the other day—Yifan beat his team with a jaw dropping score and ever since, Chanyeol seemed to be irritated whenever the Chinese male was near.

Is Chanyeol gonna be angry?

Junmyeon whimpered weakly to himself.

The male hadn’t been himself for the whole day. He was too scared to face everything that he was late for class. Fortunately, the only seat available was the one in front—which was something he seldom felt grateful of because only that way, he wouldn’t have to talk to his friends the whole hour. Junmyeon nervously sent Chanyeol a smile before fixing his attention to the lecturer.

Time passed by painfully slow.

Chanyeol’s cheerful laugh snapped Junmyeon out of his trance. The bell had rung and their class was done. Chanyeol could approach him any minute now... Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder and noticed his tall friend was walking toward him. He felt himself breaking into a cold sweat and tried to hide his trembling hands by shoving his books into the bag.

What should I do?

“Hey.”

Junmyeon visibly tensed at Chanyeol’s voice. “H—hey...”

What should I tell him?

“So, you’re ready for Hummingbird?” Chanyeol asked with a wide grin as he placed an arm around Junmyeon’s shoulder.

“I—“ Junmyeon stared at Chanyeol nervously. “I—right. Jason Statham.”

Should I lie?

“Yixing said he fell asleep while watching the movie, but then again, he was never fully awake,” Chanyeol laughed. “Let us prove that.”

“Right,” Junmyeon shifted his eyes back onto his bag. His mind quickly swam through a hundred of reasons to decline, but when he couldn’t find any, he tried to change the subject casually. “Kyungsoo—he’s not coming with us?”

“Nope. You know that Kyungsoo doesn’t like this kind of movie. And isn’t it supposed to be our quality time together?”

Junmyeon felt helpless. “R—right...”

Chanyeol gave him a frown. “Is there something wrong, hyung?”

Junmyeon took a deep breath before lifting up his head to stare at the taller male. “I... I can’t today, Chanyeol. I’m—I’m really sorry...”

It took Chanyeol a few seconds to register his words and his eyes widened in disbelief. “Eh? Why? We’ve planned this from a week ago.”

Junmyeon was unable to look at Chanyeol anymore. “I—I know... It’s just...something came up...”

“And what is more important than this?”

“It’s...”

“It’s what?”

“That’s...”

“What?”

Junmyeon was obviously desperate and lost that he couldn’t bring himself to say what was on his mind. It caused Chanyeol to groan in frustration.

“Hyung, what is it???”

With a heavy sigh, Junmyeon brought his hands to his face. Why was it so hard to just tell him? But...now that he thought about it, how could he ditch his best friend for a stranger? (Well, you were scared and you couldn’t think clearly yesterday, Junmyeon reasoned to himself). Chanyeol was right, they had planned to watch the movie since last week. He was so excited for the movie that Junmyeon felt very guilty about it.

“I...I promised Yifan I would go home together with him...”

They were drowned in an uncomfortable silence. Chanyeol’s expression hardened at the mention of the name and Junmyeon noticed it.

“...you what?”

“I—I’m going home with Yifan...”

“Yifan—Wu Yifan?”

Chanyeol got a weak nod as a reply.

“What do you mean by that—“ Chanyeol gasped dramatically. “Going home together like—like dating?”

“I’m...I’m not sure—“

Chanyeol grabbed Junmyeon’s arm roughly all of a sudden and forced the older male to look at him. “What do you mean, hyung??”

“I said yes to him, Chanyeol,” Junmyeon cried and did his best to not freak out. Chanyeol was starting to scare him. His friend was glaring at him and he hated it. Junmyeon tried to detach himself from Chanyeol’s grip but the latter was too strong for him.

“You said...yes? What—what the hell were you thinking, hyung???”

“I wasn’t thinking, that’s why!” Junmyeon cried weakly. “I was—I was scared, Chanyeol! He came to me, asking me out and I—I was scared—“

“That face,” Chanyeol growled in dismay. “Taking advantage of your fear—what a gentleman. Let me talk to him and tell him that you were drunk yesterday—“

“No!!”

Chanyeol stared at him in disbelief. “No...?”

Junmyeon brought a hand to his mouth. No...?

“I—I mean...no, not...now. It would be too cruel...”

Chanyeol grimaced darkly. “Aside from is it cruel or not, still, it isn’t right to say yes. You didn’t even know the guy. You didn’t even like him.”

“I—I know...” Junmyeon’s eyes drifted subconsciously to the door and he caught a glimpse of Yifan standing across the hall. Something about the view made his heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t sure if it was fear. Yifan was already waiting for him. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry. I have to go...”

Chanyeol followed Junmyeon’s line of sight and he pouted in great dislike. “Just tell him that it’s not working, alright? As soon as you get home, tell him that it’s not working.”

Chanyeol just doesn’t want me to get hurt.

“I will,” Junmyeon whispered. “I will, Chanyeol-ah.”

But he wasn’t sure if he would be able to do such thing.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

‘Going home together’ really meant going home together.

Both Yifan and Junmyeon were awfully awkward with each other and none of them managed to say a word.

Yifan opened his mouth a few times to say something to break the tension but then he closed it back, unsure of what to say. Junmyeon, mostly consumed by fear, kept his mouth shut the whole time—he didn’t want to say something wrong and got scolded by the Chinese male. They were walking side by side and Junmyeon was amazed at how tall Yifan was. He was probably even taller than Chanyeol.

“Do you like bubble tea?”

Junmyeon jolted out of his reverie and glanced at Yifan in surprise. The taller of the two had stopped walking and had his thumb pointing to a bubble tea store behind him. Junmyeon was blank for a moment before shifting his gaze to the said place and Yifan seemed to realize his hesitation.

“Too childish? Maybe...coffee?”

There was a hint of worry laced underneath Yifan’s tone.

Junmyeon almost broke into a smile because no, he didn’t think bubble tea was childish but the moment he stared at Yifan, the feeling of fear resurfaced and he only shook his head in return. “B—bubble tea sounds nice...”

They went into the store, but it turned out that the place was pretty crowded. Most of them were highschool girls who snapped their heads to their direction—to Yifan, mostly—the moment they stepped inside. Junmyeon blinked at the huge amount of interest displayed against the person beside him. He observed Yifan’s features absently from the corner of his eye as they waited for their turn and a simple smile tugged on his lips.

Yifan was definitely handsome.

The Chinese male paid for them both before Junmyeon even got to take his wallet. He tried handing Yifan a few bills, but a glare was all he got in return so he kept his money back. They snatched their orders on the counter and continued walking home. Their journey was soon filled with another uncomfortable silence.

Junmyeon carefully stole a few glances at Yifan as he sipped his drink. He was never this close before, but now that Junmyeon was able to stare at him closely, Yifan seemed...pretty normal. He seemed strong, mature and wise. His scary image hadn’t completely disappeared, but it wasn’t that scary like people said. Sure, he had a grumpy face, but seeing him walking quietly beside Junmyeon, holding his drink with a hand and the other hand was fished into his pocket...

He was starting to feel comfortable.

Something grew weak within Junmyeon.

I...I need to tell him that it’s not working.

Junmyeon pressed his lips together as he looked down.

What if—what if he gets angry?

For a first date—if what they had could be categorized as date anyway, because all they did was walking together in silence—Yifan was being nice, but Junmyeon didn’t want him to walk him home...yet. Maybe it was better if they separated at the station. The place was flooded with people, and it probably would be the best place to reject him—just in case if Yifan got angry and snapped. Wouldn’t want the other male to murder him in a quiet place and bury his body someplace unknown—

Stop that stupid thought, Junmyeon.

Junmyeon played with the straw his drink as they waited for the train to come. He didn’t know how to start. It took him quite a while to gather the strength to talk and Junmyeon cleared his throat.

“Yi—Yifan?”

The said male turned to him with a questioning look on his face. “Yes?”

We’re not—it’s not—

Junmyeon lowered his head. Suddenly his heart beat so fast and he felt extremely nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was alright...but he needed to say it. He needed to say it, right...? That—that they were rushing. That—that Junmyeon wasn’t even thinking when he said yes. That—that they barely knew each other. That—that they still had a lot of ‘that’s.

“I—“

Someone accidentally bumped onto Junmyeon and he stumbled forward before he got the chance to say anything.

Yifan caught him by reflex and held him close protectively. With their height, Junmyeon’s head was on Yifan’s chest and the latter instinctively placed a hand on the back of his head, as if to protect him.

“Are you alright?”

Junmyeon’s heart quivered at the gesture and he slowly glanced up.

Yifan’s look was sincere on him. He was genuinely concerned.

What is it that I’m feeling?

“Y—yeah,” Junmyeon nodded nervously and pulled away. He pulled away, but he wasn’t able to make it very far because Yifan’s hand was still on his hair. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

“As long as you’re not hurt,” Yifan shook his head. “Anyway, what is it that you were about to say?”

It—it’s not working.

Junmyeon swallowed because Yifan smelled really nice and their height fit and the way Yifan had his fingers on his hair felt nice—

“I...I just want to say thank you...”

Yifan looked a bit surprised at his words. The Chinese male gave him a kind smile before replying,

“I’m the one who should say that. Thank you for today, Junmyeon.”

Yifan’s smile made Junmyeon felt a bit difficult to breathe.

When the train came, Junmyeon’s plan of saying goodbye to Yifan was forgotten. He let Yifan guided him into the train.

He let Yifan walked him home.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes when things happened spontaneously, it would be followed by regret.

Junmyeon wasn’t sure if he felt it.

All he knew was that he felt a new feeling, a mixture of confusion and fear and excitement and uncertainty and the list was endless. Everytime he remembered the night when he let Yifan walked him home, his stomach would be filled with butterflies. It was weird because Yifan did nothing when they finally reached his apartment but to wish him goodnight and to not forget to lock the door.

Junmyeon couldn’t sleep well that night.

He didn’t meet Yifan for the following week.

Which was good, because he wasn’t sure of what he felt toward the other male. Were they in a relationship...? Perhaps, because Junmyeon had said yes, but were they really in one? Like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo...? Junmyeon didn’t know. Yifan hadn’t contacted him ever since, but it occured to him that the male probably didn’t have his number...

Junmyeon’s mind was occupied with Yifan that he completely forgot about Chanyeol. He was soon reminded the moment his friend walked into the class and Junmyeon held his breath. He wished Chanyeol wouldn’t remember their conversation last week, but as the male turned to him and gave him a demanding look, he knew he remembered.

“How did it go?”

Junmyeon dreaded the question so badly that he wasn’t able to calm down. His voice was surprisingly indifferent, but his stammering showed otherwise. “W—what?”

Chanyeol gave him a stern look. “Don’t act stupid, you know what I’m talking about.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon feigned a surprised look. “Uh...”

“What does ‘uh’ mean?”

“It—it means...” Junmyeon trailed off and he knew Chanyeol knew. The latter had been his closest friend since high school and with the years they had been through, it was easy for Chanyeol to notice his behavior. “I...”

Chanyeol groaned in distaste. “You haven’t.”

“Chan—“

“You haven’t,” Chanyeol facepalmed and shook his head. “Why?”

“I—I don’t know,” Junmyeon honestly answered. “It...it just seemed inappropriate in the first day... I mean, if I want to say that it’s not working...at least I should wait for a few days...right?”

“There’s no such thing as inappropriate—oh dear God, hyung,” Chanyeol’s hand was still pressed against his face and he heaved. “Fine. So when?”

Junmyeon’s shoulders flinched slightly.

When...?

“When, hyung?”

“S—soon...”

“The sooner, the better,” Chanyeol firmly said as he placed a hand on the older male’s shoulder. “I just...I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Junmyeon weakly smiled. “I—I know...”

“And I don’t want you to hurt him. You have nothing for him, hyung. I just...I don’t want you to toy with his feelings. You get what I’m saying, right?”

That we can’t be together...?

“Anyway, you still owe me a movie. I canceled it last week. Luhan-hyung and Minseok-hyung said they would meet me there...us, if you’re free, though.”

Junmyeon unconsciously directed his eyes at the empty hall outside the classroom. Last week, Yifan was there, waiting for him. A part of him wished that Yifan would be there, and another part of him wished that he wouldn’t (because there was Chanyeol and Junmyeon wasn’t sure what would happen when the two meet).

“Okay...I’ll go with you.”

“You will?” Chanyeol’s expression brightened and he seemed to forget about Yifan already. “Awesome! Hummingbird, here we come!”

Junmyeon chuckled at Chanyeol’s reaction and gathered his things. He glanced at the empty hall once again before looking away. Chanyeol couldn’t stop talking about Jason Statham and how it was supposed to be a great movie (judging from the reviews he read) and Junmyeon could only smile at his friend’s behavior.

He was smiling, but something inside him felt empty.

Junmyeon wasn’t sure what it was.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon fell asleep the whole movie and he was woken up by Minseok when it was over.

Chanyeol seemed to be only person who was still excited after the movie. Luhan and Minseok almost looked as bored as him but they said nothing because at least Chanyeol was happy.

They decided to just go home because most of them were still full from the popcorns in the movie. The group was heading to the station when they passed by the bubble tea store. Junmyeon’s steps slowly came to a stop because the place reminded him of Yifan. The name brought an uncanny feeling upon his chest and he wondered what the male was doing right now.

“Guys? Bubble tea?”

Luhan glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “Bubble tea? Since when...?”

Junmyeon sheepishly smiled. “I just feel like it.”

“I’ll pass,” Minseok wrinkled his nose. “I’m still full from the soda.”

“Yeah, me too,” Luhan nodded. “Why don’t you go inside and we’ll wait for you here?”

Junmyeon stared at the store momentarily before shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. You guys go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Luhan and Minseok stared at each other reluctantly.

“I’ll go with you,” Chanyeol offered.

“It’s really okay,” Junmyeon shook his head apologetically at his friends. “I just... I want to be alone.”

He waved them goodbye without waiting for any reply and headed inside the said place. After queuing for a while, Junmyeon finally got his order—the same one with the one Yifan got him last week—and walked out of the store. His friends were nowhere to be found, which was good, because he had a feeling Chanyeol would ignore his words and stayed with him. Luckily he was wrong.

“Yifan,” Junmyeon murmured quietly to himself. “I’m drinking bubble tea...”

“I can see that you are.”

Junmyeon choked on his drink and coughed uncontrollably. He felt someone patted his back a bit panickly. When his cough finally subsided, Junmyeon looked up with teary eyes—

—only to almost lose his breath when he realized it was Yifan.

“Yi—Yifan?”

Yifan bit his lower lip worriedly. “Did I surprise you? I’m so sorry.”

“No, I was...” Junmyeon trailed off because Yifan was clad in a t-shirt and shorts and he was a bit sweating—maybe he just had a basketball practice?—but overall he was...

...handsome.

“It’s nice to bump into you here,” Yifan smiled warmly. “I’m heading to the station. Are you going home?”

“Y—yeah,” Junmyeon replied and he mentally whined for his stuttering. He couldn’t help but feeling terribly nervous whenever Yifan was around. “I just went to the movie with Chanyeol and the others—“

“Chanyeol?”

Junmyeon went pale at the way Yifan mentioned his friend’s name. The Chinese male had his eyebrows furrowed together into a line and the look he gave was a mixture of dislike and curiosity. Junmyeon felt fear seeped into him at the taller male’s expression. Did he say something wrong?

“H—he’s a friend,” Junmyeon stammered and his fingers tightened around his drink. Yifan’s expression didn’t change and it scared him even more. “We—we did nothing. We just went to the movie because I promised him last week I would go with him but then it got canceled and—please don’t—”

Junmyeon shut his eyes in distress when Yifan extended his arm toward his direction. He waited for a hit, a punch, anything but nothing came. Instead, Junmyeon felt a gentle tug on his arm to pull him forward and he gasped as Yifan brought him closer to his chest.

“You’re in the way,” Yifan said.

Junmyeon hastily glanced over his shoulder and realized that Yifan was right. Had the taller male not pulled him, people might have bumped onto him. Again.

“I’m sorry, please don’t what...?”

Junmyeon’s hands were trembling as he looked up to catch Yifan’s black orbs.

Please don’t get...angry?

“I... I thought you might scold me...”

But...but you’re not...

Yifan batted his eyelashes in confusion at his sentence. The male finally seemed to understand what Junmyeon was saying and his mouth formed a small ‘oh’.

“...it’s the face, Junmyeon.”

“Huh?”

“It’s the face,” Yifan repeated and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m not—I’m not angry.”

Junmyeon went speechless at how flustered Yifan had become. The taller of the two looked somewhat embarrassed and looked away. It was cute and Junmyeon knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but...it was cute to know the other side of Yifan. Slowly, but surely, his fear dissipated and Junmyeon’s lips curved upward.

Maybe Yifan’s not that scary afterall...

Something beat differently within him the moment Yifan caught his gaze and spoke,

“Let’s go. I’ll walk you home.”

Junmyeon felt his chest was filled with something foreign and he nodded shyly in response.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Yifan asked for his number and Junmyeon gladly gave it to him.

Yifan raised his eyebrows in the train when he noticed Junmyeon’s choice of bubble tea. The latter playfully stuck a tongue out at him but then he shyly offered if Yifan would want some. The Chinese male took the offer and Junmyeon’s heartbeat raced at the fact that they shared the same straw.

Indirect kiss.

Junmyeon did his best to not think about it.

Even though they had each other’s numbers, but they rarely talked on the phone. They texted, though. Yifan only sent him a text in the morning and at night before he went to sleep. The texts didn’t contain many characters, but it was enough to make Junmyeon smile. Funny how such simple, little things brightened his day. The feeling was new to him and frankly, Junmyeon didn’t understand it yet. All he knew that he liked the attention Yifan gave to him and that was all.

Junmyeon was so happy in his little world that he forgot about Chanyeol. Again. Their eyes met when he walked into the classroom and soon the fear of being asked of the ultimate question raised within him. Chanyeol gave him a knowing look which Junmyeon completely ignored.

When their class was done, Junmyeon shoved his books in a record time and dashed out of the room after reading the text from Yifan. His boyfriend said that he would meet him at the canteen. Junmyeon’s heart almost stopped beating at his earlier thought.

Boyfriend?

Junmyeon stopped halfway because his breath became ragged and he had to lean against the lockers.

He...is, right?

“Junmyeon-ah, are you okay?”

The mention of his name snapped him out of his thoughts as he turned to the source of the voice. Junmyeon smiled slightly at the sight of Luhan and Minseok, but it faltered when he saw Chanyeol.

“We’re going to the mall. Want to come along, Junmyeon-ah?”

“The mall...?” Junmyeon felt very inadequate under Chanyeol’s gaze that he had to look away.

“Yeah. Kyungsoo’s coming, too,” Luhan replied. “Now that I think about it, he hasn’t joined us lately...”

“Yeah,” Minseok frowned and turned to Chanyeol. “You guys aren’t fighting, right?”

Chanyeol didn’t answer.

“If—if Kyungsoo’s coming, that’s...good. You guys can go and enjoy without me,” Junmyeon said casually.

Please just go without me.

“Are you waiting for someone, Junmyeon-ah?” Minseok asked innocently.

Chanyeol’s gaze was so deep that it pierced through Junmyeon. He froze at the question and the male felt his hands went a bit numb. “As...as a matter of fact, I do...”

Luhan’s expression brightened. “You are? Oh my God, is it a date...?”

“It is,” Chanyeol answered for him, but his tone was laced with sarcasm.

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Yeah, who’s the lucky guy?”

Junmyeon sent Chanyeol a hurtful look. He knew Luhan and Minseok were sincere, but not Chanyeol.

Why do you hate Yifan so much...?

“Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon’s world crumbled to pieces when he heard Yifan’s stern voice calling out his name. He wished Yifan hadn’t showed up so that he wouldn’t be able to witness Chanyeol’s obvious hatred toward him. It somehow pained him to know that Chanyeol really hated their relationship and even wanted it to end. Luhan and Minseok only gawked at the tallest male between them as he approached the group.

“Yes,” Junmyeon quickly grabbed a hold of himself and stepped closer to Yifan. He ignored the way Chanyeol stared at them. “See you around, guys...”

He was quite certain Luhan said ‘holy ’.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

It caused a sudden change of mood to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon must have been obvious about it, because Yifan didn’t say anything. He felt grateful that Yifan wasn’t the type to ask many questions because that was just what he needed at the moment. How did it come to this...? Junmyeon exhaled deeply through his nose because he was supposed to feel happy for meeting Yifan and... He stared at the tall male beside him. Yifan wasn’t the one at fault. Junmyeon shouldn’t take it out on him. He extended his arm to tug on Yifan’s sleeve and the latter looked at him.

“Yes?”

“I’m...I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be. Are they your friends?”

Junmyeon nodded hesitantly. “Yeah...”

Yifan looked thoughtful for a second. “The tallest one between them three...he plays basketball too, right?”

Junmyeon frowned slightly when he realized Yifan was talking about Chanyeol. “You mean Chanyeol? Yeah...yeah, he does.”

“So that’s Chanyeol...,” Yifan nodded to himself. “By the way, your friends seemed shocked when I called out your name. I know you probably don’t want me to poke my nose in, but...is everything alright?”

“What...?”

“I just—I just need to know if everything’s alright. You don’t have to tell me anything else.”

Junmyeon didn’t know if he should cry or fake a smile. He wanted to smile at Yifan and tell him that yeah, everything was alright—but then it would mean that he was lying and the thought of lying to his boyf—Yifan somehow bugged him. Junmyeon battled with his inner self for a few seconds before finally decided to tell Yifan about it.

“I... I haven’t told them...about us.”

Because I... I don’t know.

“That’s—that’s probably why they were shocked...”

I’m not sure of what I feel for you.

“I’m sorry...”

Did you tell your friends about us, Yifan...?

Yifan snorted into a smile and ruffled Junmyeon’s hair affectionately. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Besides...I understand. I mean, it’s quite hard to tell your friends because, well...we’ve never talked to each other before, right? Your friends must be surprised.”

Silence descended upon them after that. Yifan seemed to be thinking while Junmyeon, unconsciously kept on staring at the former. The train finally came to a stop and they got off because it was already their station. Junmyeon followed closely behind Yifan.

It was  getting late and people were flooding on the street.

Junmyeon tried to think of anything else, but he couldn’t. Chanyeol’s hate expression kept on replaying in his mind and it brought a pang to his chest. He was so absorbed with his own thoughts that he failed to see that someone had been walking too close and finally bumped onto him.

Junmyeon yelped in surprise and unwillingly stumbled backward.

“Yi—Yifan!”

Junmyeon closed his eyes and waited for the pain to come—he would fall onto the ground for sure if Yifan didn’t catch him on time. He felt a pair of strong arms s around his waist, holding him close to prevent him from falling. Junmyeon gasped weakly.

Why was he being so careless lately?

“Are you alright, Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon buried his head on Yifan’s chest. Suddenly, he felt very weak that everything just felt like a burden to him and Yifan...Yifan somehow was able to erase all of that. He sniffled quietly. “I’m alright...”

Why did he feel so safe when Yifan was around?

They stayed still like that for another moment. Yifan was the first one to pull away and gave him a kind smile, the same smile which made Junmyeon’s heart started to beat irregularly—just like a few weeks ago. Yifan motioned him to start walking again and Junmyeon obeyed.

It was just a few steps when Junmyeon realized Yifan had their fingers intertwined.

He was really helpless, alright.

“Yifan, I’m alright,” Junmyeon tried to hide his embarrassment by biting his lip. “You—you can let go now.”

Yifan didn’t show any intention that he was going to let go any minute. “He was staring at you.”

“Eh?” Junmyeon looked around in confusion. “Who...?”

“I don’t like the way he stares at you,” Yifan ignored Junmyeon’s question. “You’re my boyfriend, right?”

Junmyeon’s heart skipped a beat at the statement. He felt Yifan tightening his grip around his hand and he felt like crying.

“Yes...yes, you are, Yifan...”

You are my boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Their relationship had evolved to something deeper.

Junmyeon was finally at the phase where he no longer feared Yifan.

Each days were filled with the taller male’s warm smile and Junmyeon couldn’t help but feeling a bit for him. They were starting to talk, and it was real conversation. Junmyeon wanted to know Yifan better. He wanted to know Yifan’s birthday, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes. To anyone else, they were probably just little things, but to Junmyeon, everything about Yifan was precious.

He was used to a bit (or even a lot) of Yifan everyday that when the latter didn’t send him a good morning text, Junmyeon felt something was missing.

He felt a bit sad because usually the taller male would send him a text—even a simple one such as ‘have a nice day’. He waited and waited but Yifan still didn’t text him anything even until lunch. Junmyeon tried to shrug it off because maybe he was busy. Yifan was in his last year, afterall, there was definitely going to be a lot of essays. Junmyeon felt his day a bit empty without a touch of Yifan and without thinking agreeing to Yixing and Luhan’s invitation to shop.

Fortunately, unlike Chanyeol, Luhan asked nothing about his relationship with Yifan. Junmyeon felt really grateful to have a friend like Luhan and felt a bit guilty for not telling him. One day, when he was brave enough, he would.

Even when the day gave its way to the night, Yifan still hadn’t texted him.

His little trip to the mall was able to distract him from Yifan, but when they separated, it reminded him back and the feeling became much worse. Junmyeon glanced at his phone sadly and wondered if it was alright for him to call first.

What if he’s in the middle of something and he can’t pick up?

The beautiful male was still pondering if he should call or he should not when he arrived at his apartment. Junmyeon absently fumbled for his keys and he was about to reach his door—

—when he realized Yifan was leaning on his apartment door.

“Yi—Yifan?”

Yifan turned to stare at him upon being called. His face looked tired and he seemed a bit pale. Nonetheless, he gave his boyfriend a kind smile. “You’re back.”

Junmyeon felt his heart aching. “What—what are you doing here?”

“I, uh... I wanted to text you but... I saw you going with your friends so...”

Junmyeon gaped in disbelief. “You...you saw me...?”

“Yeah...”

“Why—why didn’t you call me?”

“Well, it’s been a while since you hang out with them...right?”

Junmyeon slowly placed a hand on his mouth. Yifan was right, it had been a while since he hang out with his friends...especially with Yixing, too...but...

How did you notice it?

“I just didn’t want to bother you. That’s why I waited.”

Yifan shivered slightly and Junmyeon went a bit panicked. The male must have waited for a few hours for him. “You’re shivering, let’s get you inside—“

“Actually, I just came for...this.”

Yifan took something out of his pocket and placed it on Junmyeon’s palm. It was a mini cupcake and there was a candle on it.

Junmyeon blinked. “A...cupcake?”

Yifan poked his nose caringly. “We’re a month today.”

Junnmyeon’s eyes widened as he looked up.

“It’s alright, I don’t expect you to remember...” Yifan gave him a comforting smile and lit the candle with a lighter. “Happy one month, Junmyeon.”

“We’re...that long already?” Junmyeon whispered. Tears were starting to form in the rim of his eyes as he gazed down at the cupcake. The single candle got him to think. “One candle...one is because we’re still a month, right? So will it be two candles next month? Or twelve for next year?”

“No, it’s one because we are one...” Yifan didn’t finish his sentence as he gave Junmyeon an unreadable look. “Did you say...twelve?”

“Eh? I did.”

“You’re...willing to be in a relationship with me until...that long?”

Junmyeon’s mouth slightly parted at that. It never occured to him before...all he knew that he was comfortable with Yifan, and it felt so right to be beside him.

“Do you...do you not want that?”

“I want nothing else but that,” Yifan said softly and he seemed greatly relieved. “I hope...it’s alright with you...”

“It’s definitely alright,” Junmyeon whispered as he leaned forward to rest his head on Yifan’s shoulder. “I’d love that, Yifan...”

When Yifan pressed his lips against Junmyeon’s forehead, it was then that he realized.

His feeling for Yifan was real.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon had been spending a lot of times with Yifan that he became reluctant to spend some times with his friends.

Even though it was ‘friends’, but it was actually just Chanyeol. Junmyeon couldn’t stand his vindictive gaze thrown at him whenever he passed by. Minseok and Luhan still came to him and started a proper conversation a few times, but not Chanyeol. Sometimes Junmyeon caught Chanyeol looked away from him on purpose whenever he was with Yifan and it hurt a lot. It was like their friendship ended over a simple matter called Yifan.

Yifan had a basketball practice that afternoon and Junmyeon waited for him until he was done. He sat on the bench with his legs crossed at his ankle and a book was on his lap. Junmyeon directed his gaze to the court absently and realized that Chanyeol was nowhere to be found. He sighed softly. Did Chanyeol hate Yifan so much that he was willing to skip his practice?

“Hey, Junmyeon-ah.”

Junmyeon turned his head and his smile was formed upon seeing Minseok. “Hey.”

Minseok smiled back and took the liberty to sit beside him. He had his eyes fixed on Yifan and the others in the court. “You’re waiting for Yifan...?”

Junmyeon hummed in reply.

“I see. Well... It’s been a while since we hang out, though...maybe some time this week?”

“That would be great,” Junmyeon sincerely smiled. “Yeah, it’s been a while...”

Minseok nodded and looked down on his lacing fingers. Junmyeon could tell that something was definitely on his mind. “Are you still not talking to Chanyeol?”

Junmyeon had a feeling it would come up. “He’s the one who avoids me...”

“Hm. Yeah...that kid,” Minseok rolled his eyes. “I mean, he has the look to appear mature, but his personality...he’s still a kid. I talked about it with Luhan and he agreed that Chanyeol seems to be taking this whole thing seriously. About you dating Yifan, I mean. I don’t know why but it seems like Chanyeol really hates him...”

I know.

Junmyeon closed the book on his lap and put it aside. Before he got to say anything, Minseok started again.

“Chanyeol broke up with Kyungsoo, you know.”

Junmyeon was shocked at that. “Eh? W—why?”

“We don’t really know,” Minseok admitted. “But we do know that they would break up eventually...you know how their relationship seems...off. They look perfect from the outside but it’s a real mess for both of them.”

The sound of a whistle from the court indicated that the practice was over. Both of them shifted their eyes back to the court and saw a few people had left with their things.

“How’s Yifan been treating you, Junmyeon-ah?”

Minseok’s tone was really comforting that Junmyeon just wanted to break down and cry. He took a deep breath. “Good. Really good...”

“I’m glad then,” Minseok murmured. “That’s all I need to know. Well, I have to go now, Yixing’s waiting for me... See you around?”

“Un, see you around...”

Minseok patted Junmyeon’s shoulder caringly and stood up. The older of the two had just walked a few steps when he turned around. “Junmyeon-ah.”

Junmyeon looked up. “Yes...?”

“It doesn’t matter what anyone else think. If you think Yifan’s good enough then he is.”

With that, Minseok waved him goodbye and left for real.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Junmyeon had been quiet throughout dinner.

Yifan waited for him to say something, anything, but nothing came. The taller male didn’t seem to mind because they weren’t exactly the loudest couple, but as it extended to their journey home, Yifan decided to speak.

“Junmyeon?”

“Hm...?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Junmyeon glanced up in surprise. “Wh...what?”

“It’s just that...you seem to have something on your mind everytime we’re together,” Yifan explained. The taller of the two squeezed his hand lightly as if to say it was alright if he had something to say. “If there’s anything you want to tell me, you can, you know.”

Junmyeon went pale at that. How did Yifan read him so easily? Or was it him who unconsciously showed the uncanny feeling?

Yifan stopped walking and Junmyeon did the same.

Their eyes met, and Junmyeon felt like crying because Yifan’s eyes radiated warmth and comfort. Why didn’t his friends want to give him a chance? Was it because of his scary image? Why did Chanyeol hate Yifan so much without even trying to know him first?

Yifan.

“Junmyeon?”

Do your friends want us to break up too...?

It saddened Junmyeon badly that he could only manage a slight headshake as an answer. “It’s—it’s nothing. Really...”

But Yifan didn’t buy that it was nothing. He waited patiently for another explanation from Junmyeon, but it seemed like the latter wouldn’t say anything more. So Yifan gently tilted his chin with his fingers and pressed their lips together.

It erased all of the uneasiness Junmyeon felt inside like a magic. He felt calm, he felt safe, but most of all...he felt loved.

“Don’t hide anything from me,” Yifan muttered quietly against his lips. “I’m your boyfriend, I want to be your everything... I want to be the only person you share anything with.”

 I don’t want to ever break up with you.

That’s all I ever want, Yifan.

I don’t want to...

Junmyeon whimpered weakly before letting Yifan claimed his lips again. He positioned a hand against Yifan’s chest, wanting to feel the latter’s heartbeat.

At that moment, Junmyeon knew that he had fallen deep enough for Yifan.

And that he wouldn’t want to be separated from him.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

A few days had passed and Junmyeon was still keeping things to himself.

Yifan resented the fact, but he was willing to wait until Junmyeon was ready. He also noticed that Junmyeon hadn’t spent a lot of times with his friends lately. Yifan wondered briefly if he should just ask because he didn’t want Junmyeon to feel like he got no one to share with.

The Chinese male had just closed his locker with a hand when he heard the sudden words.

“I hate you so much, you know that?”

Yifan frowned a bit and slowly turned around. He blinked rapidly for a moment before realizing that it was really addressed to him. Chanyeol was standing before him with a judging look and Yifan deeply exhaled as he adjusted the strap on his shoulder.

“What did I do?”

Chanyeol snorted. “Don’t play dumb. It’s Junmyeon.”

Yifan raised his eyebrows in return. “Junmyeon...?”

“I don’t like to see you with him,” Chanyeol retorted indignantly.

Yifan almost roll his eyes at the remark. He wanted to argue back but then he decided to just ignore it because Chanyeol seemed to be in rage. It would just be useless and Yifan didn’t want to fight at the moment. He started to walk past the other male. “That’s not really my problem.”

It just angered Chanyeol more to see Yifan’s reaction. “You think he likes you?”

If Yifan was about to ignore anything Chanyeol said, that definitely picked his curiosity. He halted his movement and his blank expression caused Chanyeol to feel a bit smug.

“He only accepted your confession because he was scared of you,” Chanyeol continued. “He planned to break up with you the next day, but then he reasoned it was inappropriate, it was too soon. That if he wants to tell you that it’s not working, it should be after a couple of weeks.”

Yifan deadpanned at that thought. If Chanyeol was going to make him feel bad, he was successful. Yifan felt his resolve began to waver. Suddenly, all of the puzzles fit. The way Junmyeon held back about something... The way Junmyeon was reluctant to say what was on his mind... Yifan lowered his gaze.

But...

There was always a possibility that Chanyeol wasn’t telling the truth. Maybe he was just jealous of their relationship. Maybe he was just angry for taking Junmyeon away from him. Maybe... Yifan took a deep breath and still tried to think positive about it.

“Then I will accept it whole heartedly when he ends our relationship.”

With that, Yifan continued his steps to walk away from Chanyeol.

“Stop making him cry, Yifan.”

Yifan halted his movement for the second time and his eyes widened in confusion. He sent Chanyeol a perplexed stare, but the latter wasn’t looking at him. Did he make Junmyeon cry? Yifan wasn’t sure if Chanyeol was talking about Junmyeon or was he talking about someone else. Nonetheless, he decided to not comment anything and continued his steps.

He needed to see Junmyeon.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

They had never fought, but Junmyeon had a feeling they were in one.

Because Yifan had turned his phone off since a few hours ago.

Junmyeon bit his nail worriedly as his umpteenth call went straight to the voicemail and sighed in defeat as he tossed the phone away. He tried to be positive that maybe Yifan was busy, or he was practicing basketball, or his battery was low.

Or he just doesn’t want to talk.

Junmyeon felt his stomach grumbling and his last stock of instant noodle was eaten last night. He decided to eat something that wasn’t instant for the night and absentmindedly grabbed his jacket. Junmyeon was about to turn off the light and walked outside when he realized Yifan had been standing in front of his apartment door.

What was it with Yifan and his habit of not telling Junmyeon that he was there?

“Yi—Yifan?”

Junmyeon immediately leaned closer to Yifan and became slightly panicked. He cupped his boyfriend’s chin and realized he had been shivering. “Oh my God, Yifan, how long have you been here?”

“Not that long,” Yifan replied calmly.

“I’ll make you some warm tea, let’s get inside,” Junmyeon said and tried to drag Yifan into the apartment, but the latter wouldn’t budge. He deadpanned at the thought. “Yifan...?”

“Is it...is it not working?”

Junmyeon visibly tensed when he heard the question. “Wh...what?”

“Don’t lie to me, is it not working, Junmyeon-ah?”

Yifan looked hurt when he spoke and it created a huge pang in Junmyeon’s heart. Junmyeon palmed his mouth momentarily before placing it on the taller male’s arm. “It’s working...”

Yifan’s eyes softened at that but he still seemed unsure. “Really...?”

Junmyeon shyly nodded. “It’s working...”

“Did I...did I make you cry...?”

Junmyeon tilted his head to a side in confusion. “No...no, you didn’t.”

Yifan sighed in relief as he pulled Junmyeon closer into his arms and pressed his lips against the latter’s shoulder. “Are you still scared of me?”

Junmyeon chuckled lightly against his chest. “No. ...not really. It’s the face, right?”

Yifan also chuckled in return and Junmyeon felt his shoulder vibrated from it. “Yeah...it’s the face.”

They stayed still like that for a while. Even though the weather was a bit cold, but both of them felt warm. Most of all, Junmyeon felt safe and protected. He came to realize how much he loved Yifan’s strong arms around him. He realized how much he loved being held in the taller male’s embrace.

Yifan was the first one to break their hug and Junmyeon looked up questioningly. The former had such a scary look...no, it was determination that was plastered on his face.

“You said...you’re willing to be in a relationship with me until the candles turn twelve, right?”

He got a confused nod as a reply.

“Does it mean...only until a year? Then after a year...are you gonna dump me?”

“No,” Junmyeon whispered as he helplessly leaned his head on Yifan’s chest. He searched for Yifan’s long digits and intertwined them together. “No... I just want to be with you until there isn’t enough candle anymore. I want to be with you until we run out of space for the candles on the cupcake. I... I want to be with you until the cupcake evolves into a big cake so that we would be able to place lots and lots of candles so—“

Yifan didn’t let him finish his sentence and shut him up with a kiss. “Then it’s a promise...”

Junmyeon whimpered weakly. “It is.”

“It’s a promise because I will never let you go, Junmyeon. And that if you leave, I will chase you until the end of the world to make you remember that you’re mine.”

“Do that, Yifan...” Junmyeon cried happily. “Do that, please...”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few minutes had passed and Junmyeon suddenly remembered his first intention of going out. He slowly detached his lips off of Yifan’s and sighed.

“Yifan, are you hungry?”

Yifan seemed to remember something before taking something out of his coat’s pocket. The male unwrapped the package and Junmyeon was awed to see it was another cupcake with a candle on it.

“One candle,” Junmyeon whispered. “Because we are one, right?”

“...no.”

Yifan leaned down to kiss Junmyeon sweetly once again.

“It’s one, because you’re the only one for me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO SORRY I HATE THIS FIC IT'S ROTTEN CHEESE AND NAUSEATING I AM A FAILURE I'M QUITE SURE YOU WANTED TO THROW UP AT THE CHEESINESS /prepares for paperbags T______T