Life is simple and quiet on Baek Street for Do Kyungsoo- that is, until his partner and best friend (and secret crush but shhhhh don't tell anyone) Kim Jongin drags him into an annoying case.

Today is one example of that situation. 

"Kyungsoo, will you open up the Index and see what we have on Kim Joonmyun AKA Suho AKA Mama?" Jongin asks after Kyungsoo steps into his small office.

 "Mama?" Kyungsoo mutters under his breath, opening up the messy binder that is full of the identities of criminals. "I had no idea one of his nicknames was 'Mama'." 

Jongin shrugs carelessly. "Do Kyungsoo, don't mutter. Your speech becomes slurred and quite hard to hear. Terribly inconvenient if you want to pass along important information."

Kyungsoo's finger lands on the page marked MAMA JOON and scowls. "Okay first of all we're both Korean, so there's no need to speak English with a really awkward British accent, Jongin. It doesn't make you any more Sherlock and me any more of a Watson."

Jongin raises an eyebrow as he scoots his chair closer to look at the Index. "On the contrary, my dear Kyungsoo! I believe that if we live out the hobbies and speech of Sherlock and Watson, we'll become-"

"Shut up."

Jongin makes a face and switches back to his native tongue. "You don't have to be so mean."

Kyungsoo ignores him as he reads Mama Joon's page out loud. "A young and talented thief, Kim Joonmyun stole his first item- a valuable sapphire known as the Mermaid's Tear- when he was only seventeen. Having successfully snatched and stolen the precious gem, Joonmyun continued this practice for eight years. He has eluded authorities so far." He slams the Index shut, making Jongin wince. "Okay so why did I just read a paragraph of useless information all in English."

"Because Kim Joonmyun stole the Black Pearl yesterday afternoon. He literally just walked into Yi Wufan's house, seduced him, and left in the morning with a precious oyster thing worth three billion dollars."

"Hm," Kyungsoo drones. "He must be attractive, then."

Jongin looks at him in exasperation over the rim of his coffee cup. "Is that really all you got from what I said."

"Yup."

Jongin rolls his eyes and takes out a small photo from his jacket pocket. "I think you might recognize him, you mentioned Joonmyun as being an old classmate once." He takes a long sip of his coffee.

Kyungsoo studies the photo, which shows the handsome, smirking, face of Kim Joonmyun, president of the student council in Kyungsoo's high school. He hands Jongin back the picture.

"He wasn't just a classmate. Joonmyun is my ex-boyfriend."

Jongin spits out the coffee all over Joonmyun's smirk.

"So why exactly did you steal the Black Pearl again?"

Kim Joonmyun sighs and flicks his kind-of-partner-kind-of-not Jongdae on the nose. "Because," he states. "I want Kyungsoo back. And since he works with that little brat Jongin, Kyungsoo is sure to accompany him on the search to look for me. Then I will snatch Kyungie away and he will be mine... forever." Joonmyun cackles in glee (yes, he cackles. how terribly unprofessional.)

"But how do you know Jongin won't chase after you? They're partners after all," Jongdae wonders.

"Simple! Use Oh Sehun as a distraction. From my observations, Sehun is the Irene Adler to Jongin's Sherlock. Kim Jongin has been infatuated with Sehun since the two were in high school. Replace Kyungsoo's position as "partner" with Sehun, and it will be foolproof!" Joonmyun cackles, then pauses to add, "I think. I think Jongin still likes Sehun. I'm not entirely sure but whoops I'm forgetting to care."

Jongdae frowns and asks one last question: "What makes you so sure that Kyungsoo will love you?"

The thief grins widely as he ruffles Jongdae's hair playfully. "Because everyone loves me," he answers with a wink before exiting the room.

Jongdae stares sadly after the retreating back of his not-really-partner, heart still racing from Joonmyun's touch. "That's true. I guess everyone does love you. Including... me."

A/N: poor jongdae