*chapter three;

„And then you just turned around and left him?“ Jinhie asked, shocked.

Yohee’s facial expression didn’t show any other reaction either. Soah nodded.

“After he had asked you out?”

She nodded again. It was the day after the date and she felt miserable. Somehow, she knew what she felt was what she deserved after what she had done to Luhan. She couldn’t sleep at all, because every time she closed her eyes, his face would appear in front of her sight, making her body tingle and causing her heart to tighten. It felt so good yet so bad at the same time, it kept her awake, it made her mind go crazy and she always thought about one question: why me?

“So let me reconstruct your evening," Jinhie began. “He didn’t mind that you were all messy and sweaty in your school uniform, he didn’t mind that you were an hour late... heck, he was even waiting there this entire time! He paid for the dinner, you had the time of your life, he was considerate, caring and funny, he even walked you home and then asked you out. And you said no?”

Soah gritted her teeth and buried her face in her hands before she ran them through her hair. “I'm an idiot, am I?”

She got nods in reply, but just shook her head eagerly. “After this spring... it’s so... I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’m ready to let somebody come that close to me again so soon. Although I want to... There is always this barrier inside of me and I know I would hurt him. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt.”

Yohee put an arm around her shoulder as a gesture of comfort. “It’s obvious you like him and he likes you too! Although you can’t forget what happened during spring break... Soah, everyone has one or two romances they can’t forget. But life is too short after all. If you don’t learn how to let go, how are you supposed to move on?”

It was the same words that had come out of her mother’s mouth, but they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand that what she had had was far away from a normal holiday romance. When she had returned to school, she thought she was already over it. She would forget and live on, and as long as she was distracted, she would forget his face and one day even his name. She would forget everything that had happened until she found someone who was worth loving her.

But she had been wrong. Getting back to school had changed everything. That was why she needed that barrier. That was why she got so vulnerable, so timid. Nobody would understand.

Soah sighed and turned her head to the windows. There were voices coming from outside. Boys were talking, girls were chatting, there were kicks and people were laughing. The first lesson was about to start.

“Hey... do you guys know the Rubik’s Cube?”

***

“And then she just turned around and left you?” Kris asked and all eyes lay on Luhan who turned red and immediately looked away.

“Don’t mock me, please.”

When he had walked into the classroom that morning, Luhan thought she wouldn’t even look at him, so he just risked a clandestine glance. But directly, her eyes got locked with his as if she had expected him to look at her, and like every day, she waved at him and he smiled back, very surprised though. So she wasn’t mad at him or anything. He was glad and relieved that everything was like before, but still hurt and disappointed that she had just left him with the assumption that he wouldn’t want her.

If he rea