*chapter twenty three;

When Soah woke up the next morning, she felt sick and numb at the same time even before she had opened her eyes. Her conscience already told her what day it was once she was awake: the day of Luhan’s departure. The day he would leave for Beijing for five weeks. Five weeks without seeing his face and feeling his touches. She felt the tears rising behind her eyes and she didn’t want to get up, or get dressed and drive to the airport with him, because then, she knew, it was real.

Soah blinked her tears away the moment Luhan opened his eyes. Strangely, he laid on the other side of the bed, as far away as possible from her. Usually, they would lie together in the middle of the mattress, she in his arms, but now he almost fell from the bed, because he had slept on the edge of it.

“Hey," Luhan whispered and smiled. “How did you sleep?”

“Not very good.”

She wasn’t only referring to this special day, but to the fact that he was obviously avoiding any kind of skinship with her, not only in the night, but also now. But why? Did she... smell bad? Had she kicked him? Beat him? Talked in her sleep? If that was the case, why hadn't he said anything before? She could have fixed this instead of causing him trouble.

“Don’t you like sleeping beside me?” Soah pouted.

Luhan immediately shook his head. “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because you’re avoiding me like I smell of dead fish or something. You obviously prefer risking to fall out of the bed than being by my side.”

“It’s not like that," he said quietly, lowering his gaze while his cheeks got a shade redder. “It’s just... your... you don’t... you're not wearing anything...”

Soah looked down on her body just to find herself still being wrapped in that light blanket which revealed more of her shoulders and cleavage now than it was supposed to. Quickly, she tightened the sheet around her body, feeling her skin brushed by the softness of the cloth. It was now her who blushed, barely able to look him in the eyes.

“I am a guy after all," Luhan explained. “Having you beside me, completely revealed like that... Trust me, that is not a good idea.”

“You’re probably right...”

“So...” Luhan crawled to her side of the bed just to lean in and give her a soft, longing kiss before he turned around and left the bed. “I’m going to make breakfast. You can get dressed meanwhile.”

When he closed the door, Soah was a little disappointed. Although she knew that it was better for both, she had slightly hoped that Luhan would have stayed by her side over night, holding her like he had held her before when they almost went further than they’ve ever been. She could still feel his kisses on her lips, on her jaw line, on her neck, the cleavage... his warm, soft lips and kisses so gently and lovingly that it made her heart melt just by thinking about them. It made something flutter in her stomach and built a longingly feeling in her heart, causing her to crave for him more than she ever had before.

Soah walked downstairs and almost stumbled over a huge suitcase standing in the hallway. Reality hit her again, pulling her out of the blurry dreams and memories of kisses. The only things left of him were his sweet scent and his touches which were in engraved into her mind, but soon, also these memories would fade away, just leaving a photo behind that they both had taken on one of their dates together. But a picture couldn’t fill the gap in her heart, no matter how often she’d look at it.

Luhan was just sitting at the couch and didn’t do breakfast or set the table. Instead, he just sat there, his look expressionless when he lifted his head to face her.

“I’m not hungry," he said quietly.

“Me neither.”

Soah walked toward him and sat beside him. Luhan wrapped his arms around her body right away, pulling her closer to his torso where she rested her head on his chest. He pressed litt