*chapter eighteen;

Soah loved Luhan.

She didn’t know what he was feeling for her, if his feelings had changed, if he liked her less now or if he even wanted to break up. There was just one thing she was sure about: She truly loved him. And she felt so mad for not having realized it earlier.

Pushing him away, avoiding him although everything he had wanted was just  to be around her... If there was s slight chance that Luhan was feeling the same, then she had hurt him very deeply. She was so cruel and selfish, always putting her own feelings before his.

On that night, Soah made a decision. She would talk to him, no matter how much she feared to be rejected. And if he would break up with her... then maybe it would hurt less since she had never told him that she loved him before.

When Soah woke up the next morning, she didn’t feel good, because the thoughts of her relationship had beeb keeping her awake for a long time. She didn’t want to imagine the possibility of Luhan breaking up with her, but still, there was the question: What if? Maybe he was just waiting for the right time, maybe he was too... no, she didn’t want to keep thinking about all the possibilities, because in the end, it would just destroy her courage.

The girls met their class at the table in the dining room where already a few students were seated to take their breakfast. Luhan and Sehun were one of them and unfortunately, Taehyun too. He just sat there and was talking to the two boys. What a good start to the day. Soah, Jinhie and Yohee sat down, greeted everyone and complained how tired they were.

“Long night?” Taehyun asked and smiled, which caused Soah to roll her eyes.

“We didn’t go out or do anything!” Jinhie answered, maybe a little bit too loud as if she got caught red-handed.

Taehyun laughed and waved aside. “Okay, okay, calm down, I believe you.” He took his plate and stood up. “We’re going to the beach at 10am right after breakfast, just as a reminder. Mister Choi changed the time since we’re going to have lunch there.”

They nodded and he turned around and walked away. Soah sighed in relief. There had been the possibility that he could have stayed and it would have been very bad. His whole presence made her feel uncomfortable. It was better when she wasn’t looking at him, but that couldn’t be avoided since they were in the same class. Right after Taehyun had left, Xiumin, Yixing and Kris entered the dining room and the students began to joke and fool around who would beat who in beach volleyball.

Soah was thinking about the right time to talk to Luhan. Maybe right after  breakfast was bad, because they needed to change and to pack their things. On the beach? Possible, because everyone would be doing whatever they wanted. During lunch? Bad, they would eat at the beach and everyone would be around. In the evening? They might be too tired... So at the beach it was.

“I bet you can’t wait to see the girls in bikinis, right?” Jinhie said to the boys and smirked, making Yixing and Xiumin frown.

“We’ve seen many girls in bikinis before.” Kris winked.

“I don’t really want to know where you’ve seen them, Kris.” Yixing shook his head and laughed, causing the others to join him.

Jinhie could really be straightforward sometimes. Where she was the one more open with boys, challenging them, Yohee was more of the silent one. Although she didn’t speak much and tried to avoid any kind of argument, she was a good friend for Soah, because she gave the best advices from the bottom of her heart. Like on that day.

When the girls were on their way to the beach, Soah remained silent and out of those two friends, Yohee was the one who noticed it while Jinhie was blabbering irrelevant things about bikinis and boys. But she didn’t confront Soah right away. She would have to wait until they were alone.

Half of the class were unpacking and settling their belongings while others were already on their way into the water or to beach volleyball field. The boys chose a place not as near to the others and the three friends joined them. Jinhie undressed herself right away, presenting herself in a pink bikini which showed more than before. Soah had to admit that the boys looked impressed and she shook her head at her friend’s openness. Glancing at her boyfriend, she felt relieved as she saw that  Luhan didn’t pay any attention to Jinhie.

“Well, are we going to play beach volleyball now or what?” Somehow Jinhie was very excited and obviously nervous, which was very unlikely for her.

“Of course.” Sehun held the ball in his hands and turned around, giving the others a sign to follow him.

“We need one more minute," Yohee added, because she and Soah weren’t undressed yet. “You don’t need to wait.”

When they were gone, she and Soah took off their clothes, and although it wasn’t the first time in a bikini, Soah still felt shy and sightly uncomfortable in that attire. Maybe it wasn’t a first time in an outfit like that, but it was the first time after what had happened with Taehyun, and ever since then, she had never worn something that revealing like this. And her boyfriend would see her for the first time in a bikini now too. It was like presenting herself in underwear, something which should just happen in the bedroom. But what if Luhan found her... not pretty enough? She had never been the prettiest and she knew it, but as long as Luhan liked her, she didn’t care at all.

“You look beautiful, Soah," Yohee smiled and gave her the towel.

“Thank you.” She put the towel around her body, intendin