I read through all the pamphlets the doctor gave me and instructed me to read.  I’ll be honest, some of these things are scary.  The abortion and everything, it really made me second think things, but in the end, I think I can deal with it.  I mean, emotionally, I’ll be fine, I didn’t want this to happen in the first place.  Physically, knowing the chance that I had a 25% chance of getting pregnant in the future was okay with me.  If I wanted to be a doctor, I won’t have a lot of time for others.

          Today’s my 9 week being pregnant. 

          “Umma~” I sang as I sat down, “That looks so good.” I said as she brought some food to the table.  “Miyoung…” My mother said with a weary face, “Go get your father and Jae in the back.”  I nodded my head, “Mm!  …Ahh, I’m so hungry.”  I went to get them while they were kicking the soccer ball in the back. 

          When I turned back into the house, I caught an unpleasant smell.  Or at least to me it was.  My dad and Jae happily went inside, saying how good the kitchen smelt.  I scrunched my nose before my stomach churned.  The feeling started rising up in my stomach.  “Miyoung, are you okay?” My father asked as I glanced at him then my mother.  She gave me a worry look as I back away from them and up the stairs, “Ne…go ahead and eat without me.” I said before running up the stairs into the bathroom.

          I kept myself  in my room the whole time, my stomach calling for food.  I already ate like 3 Hi! Chew candy, and I don’t even know how long that’ll feed my hunger.  I lie on my bed, having no motivation to do anything else.  My hand placed over my flat stomach, thank goodness. 

          I rolled on my side when the door opened.  “Umma…” I gasped as she walked in holding a bowl.  “Miyoung, here’s some porridge for you.”  Lately, my mother’s been a bit out of it.  I don’t really know why, but she’s kind of been slow to do things, and she looks like she’s sad.  I pushed myself up and grabbed it from her hands, “kamsahamnida, umma.”  I gave her hand a quick squeeze before letting go.

          My mom sat the bed.  Her eyes casted down at my stomach.  “Miyoung…” She sighed, her tone of voice was almost calming.  “Hmmm?” I hummed while taking a small nibble from the spoon.

          “What are you going to do with the baby?”

          I swear my heart stopped for a moment.  My head shot up and looked at her as all the color in my face drained.  “W-what…?” I croaked as she grabbed my hands.  “Miyoung…I’m a mother of 2; I know when someone’s pregnant.  I can tell the symptoms.  I’ve known for the past 2 weeks, but I’ve been trying to tell myself that maybe your appetite really did change, for no reason.  Or that you just suddenly started liking the food you use to hate because you wanted to try something new.  The hunger and constant trips to the bathroom…Miyoung, that’s what gave it away.”

          Tears were coming out of my eyes as she pulled me into her arms.  Her hands my hair, “It’s okay…You already know I was pregnant with you at this age too.  You’re so mature, I didn’t even bother telling you these stuff because I knew you weren’t going to go and have then get pregnant.  But I guess I was foolish to think such things.  I’m not going to yell at you because I see no use in that.  I just want answers.” She pulling away and wiping my tears away with her thumbs.  “Miyoung, when did you do it?” She asked me.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  “Senior party.”  I hiccupped.  I heard her disappointing sigh, whether in me or herself for making me go. 

          My mother was 19 when she was pregnant with me.  She dropped out of culinary art school and she married my father some months later.  Who knew I would be going through the same thing she also went through. 

          She softly kissed my head as I continued to cry on her shoulders.  “Miyoung, you’re keeping the baby.  I’m not letting you abort a life.  I’m sure Columbia will still let you attend with the full scholarship.  They can’t discriminate you just because of this.” She said, trying to make me feel better. 

          After a moment of silence, she spoke again.  “Who’s the father, Miyoung-ah…you have to tell him.”  She informed me, “I’m not letting you get rid of the baby, you know we can’t do that because of religion issues.”  She stated quietly as I mentally scoffed.  “We haven’t been to church in years…”  It went quiet again, and I regretted stating the fact.  She sighed, heavily, “Even so, Miyoung…I won’t allow it.  Just think if you were the baby, would you want a say?  Would you want-”

          “Umma—this baby wasn’t planned.  Everything just happened!” I shouted a bit frustrated with her, and myself.  She stood up, her eyes hardening, “Well, you should of thought of that before you went and had !”  I rolled my eyes, “Who told you to make me go!?  I told you I didn’t want to go because of all the stupid shi—things those unintelligent people do!”  She grabbed the bowl from my hands and placed it on the side table.  “Miyoung—” She leaned in to hug me, apologizing for the sudden outburst, but I pushed her away, “No! Stop—oh my gossh! Leave, okay!?  I get that I have to keep this thing, so just let me cry about it until I can’t anymore!”  I backed away from her towards my wall and turned my back on her.

          The bed creaked as she stood up.  I could feel her eyes softening, regretting herself for the outburst.  After a while, I heard her light footsteps to my door.  “Make sure you eat…you have a baby to feed now.”  She said quietly before opening the door and leaving my room.

          I went to school 2 days later after that mother-daughter argument.  Even now, we still haven’t made up.  My mother told my father.  It’s not that he doesn’t care, but I think he’s more mad at the person who did this than me.  And he should be, because I still am.  So as of right now, my parents know…Jaehyung, and the school nurse…and of course the doctor, but she doesn’t count.

          “—But everyone wants me to keep the baby…” I muttered as I sat on the bed with Nurse Kim sitting on another one.  She nodded her head, “Of course they do, Miyoung.  They’re really just looking out for you and the baby.  Abortion—”  “-yeah, I know.  I read a ton of pamphlet the doctor gave me.” I sighed, “Even so, shouldn’t it be my choice?” I asked, fiddling with my fingers.  She walked over and sat next to me, “Miyoung—”

          “—Nurse Kim, I need condoms.”  The door slid open and she got off the bed.  Soojung looked at me and scoffed while flicking her hair over her shoulders.  Nurse Kim retrieved some in her drawer and gave a handful to Soojung before she left.  She sighed heavily on her way back to me.  “By the way, who’s the father?” She asked before I scrunched my nose.

          I groaned annoyed at the question, “The bastard that, that dimwitted girl is probably going to sleep with right now.”  I state bitterly.  “Sehun!?” She shrieked in shock.  “I know right?” I sighed, “Can I just drop out of school now?  I’ll start showing and everyone will know…then some stupid rumors will come up again, and I really can’t take anymore because these stupid, stupid pregnancy hormones are going to drive me to my ing deathbed!” I cursed before she tsked, “Watch your language young lady.” She said shaking her finger childishly at me.

          I pursed my lips, “And teachers tell us to speak our minds….” I chuckled lightly.  “Besides, you’re very young, fit, very petite, and this is your first child, so you probably won’t start showing until your 5^th or 6^th month into pregnancy.  My younger sister didn’t start showing with her first until her 7^th month.  But then again, all women are different.” She patted my hand, “But I don’t think you’ll start showing for a while.”  She smiled genuinely before getting up and facing me.

          “Now, here’s the thing.  You’re going to tell him, Sehun, today…or by the end of this week.  He has to have been informed before you’re 10 weeks pregnant, okay?” She smiled evilly before I scoffed, “Aniyo! That only leaves me today and tomorrow! That’s not fair!” I protested as she laughed as walked back to her seat, “My point exactly.  You don’t have to tell him that you want him to do anything because I doubt that’s what you want.  Tell him you don’t need him but is only telling him because everyone made you…say that.” She chuckled while organizing some folders on her desk.  “Here’s your pass back to class, Miyoung.” She said handing me an excuse note.  “2 days…well, technically a day and 2 hours, but you know—”  “—ne~~” I whined, “I know…” I pouted and puffed my bangs aside, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I grumbled and left her office.

dundundund...Now her parents know...and what about Sehun!? What do you think will happen!? Will he accept her or reject her?

Stay tune for a preview of the next chapter.

...

Jk. I don't even have it done. Lol,

I'm sorry... OTL

On another note, SHE'S KEEPING THE BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?

I'm soo crazy right now, OTL, ugh

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--miyoung:))