Never Been Kissed


Kris thinks there are better things that he can be doing with his time instead of sitting on a grimy couch that has definitely seen better days, red cup in hand, and watching his friends dance around like apes. In fact, he knows there are better things he can be doing. He really doesn’t know how he gets talked into attending parties when he, along with everyone else, knows that it isn’t his scene.

A wiry male with a mess of pale hair plops down beside him so violently that his drink sloshes in his cup and drips onto his hand. He makes a face and places the cup on the side of the couch, where he hopes none of his friends’ two left feet will find it and topple it over, and wipes his hand on his dark jeans.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Lu Han breezily comments, pushing his hair away from his sweat-lined forehead. He leans back on the couch and studies Kris with a pointed look. “It’s a party.”

“Whoopdedoo,” Kris mutters with an eye roll. He frowns and turns to him. “I can say the same about you. What about what’s his face?” He glances around for the cute-faced senior that Lu Han’s been trying to woo since the start of the semester.

“He’s around,” Lu Han pouts and he sounds so disappointed that Kris ends up laughing.

He reaches out and pats his friend’s shoulder. “Want to call it a night?” he hopefully asks. The sooner he gets out of this party, the better. He’s just seen Jongdae grabbing that tanned kid by the scruff of his shirt for a kiss, and Jongdae grabbing people for kisses is never something he’s wanted to witness. They practically grew up together.

“Already?” Lu Han teases. “What if the love of your life is actually here? Won’t you regret missing him?”

Kris merely rolls his eyes at him, hoping that the blush spreading on his cheeks isn’t too obvious with the dim lighting of the place. It’s no secret to Lu Han that Kris still believes in those things, but he doesn’t think it’s something that they ever need to voice out loud. “I’m ready to go when you are,” he repeats.

Lu Han sighs dejectedly and straightens up in his seat. “Yeah I guess.” He leans over Kris and grabs his practically untouched cup, downing it in one go. He slams it down on the table. “Let’s go—Oh! It’s Byun Baekhyun! He’s actually here,” he suddenly hisses, grabbing Kris’ arm to make him sit back down.

“Who?” Kris looks up confusedly.

Someone shorter than Lu Han and way smaller than Kris has just walked into the room, followed by hushed whispers and a muted sort of admiration. The blond male was wearing a white v-necked shirt, showing really nice collarbones, underneath a dark leather jacket. If that didn’t scream y enough, then his tightly fitted black pants certainly did, as well as the kohl on his eyelids.

Lu Han shoots him an annoyed and amused look at the same time. “Of course you don’t know who he is,” he furrows his brows. “He’s only one of the living legends you’d meet in your lifetime—“

“I’ve met John Legend,” Kris cuts him off, “and I’m pretty sure he’s actually a living Legend—“

“—that you can actually kiss,” Lu Han finishes, not caring whether Kris’ parents had connections back when they were living in Canada. “Rumor has it that he’s been with everyone and I mean everyone on the basketball team, the football team, the swimming team... It’s been said that he now has his sights set on the chess club. Apparently, he likes variety.” He wrinkles his nose then lights up at a sudden idea. “Hey! That means that if you spruce yourself up enough, he can notice you and maybe you can finally have your first kiss!” Kris coughs rather violently at this and Lu Han shoots him another look. “Please it’s not like it’s a secret that you’ve never been kissed before.”

“Well,” Kris chokes on his own air. “I don’t think it’s something you have to announce very loudly in a room full of people.”

Lu Han cups his mouth and yells “KRIS WU HAS NEVER BEEN KISSED BEFORE!” before Kris even has a chance to strangle him.

No one even bats an eyelash.

Lu Han grins triumphantly at him. “See! No one cares!”

“I care.”

Lu Han and Kris both freeze, Lu Han trying to remove Kris’ hands wrapped around his neck. Byun Baekhyun was standing before them, hip cocked to one side, darkly rimmed eyes carefully studying Kris.

“Byun Baekhyun,” Lu Han breathes in reverence. He stands up very quickly, almost dislodging his head from his body, forgetting that Kris’ hands were on his neck, in an effort to shake the hand of his idol. “I’m Lu Han it’s nice to meet you I’m a big fan!”

Byun Baekhyun doesn’t even look at him. “So you’ve really never been kissed before?” he asks Kris instead.

Kris turns very red and stammers all over the words that he knows. “I—no,” he coughs.

The smallest of smirks flit Byun Baekhyun’s face, lighting up his eyes. It makes Kris wonder how bright those eyes would shine in the midst of a full smile. He slams the thought away, deciding that he doesn’t really want to find out.

“He’s a ,” Lu Han pipes in. This earns him a glance from his idol, making him squirm in delight.

“A , huh,” Byun Baekhyun’s pretty pink lips, the lower of which was in between his teeth just moments ago. “Something I’m not.”

“No, you’re not,” Lu Han nods vigorously in veneration.

“You can call me Baekhyun,” he tells Kris, who merely blinks at him nervously. “I’ll be seeing you around, Kris Wu.” And Kris swallows because it sounds very much like a promise.

With another very small smirk that lights up his eyes again, much to Kris’ dismay, he saunters away from them and disappears into the crowd.

“Bye!” Lu Han waves giddily.

Kris barely has time to breathe before Lu Han is pouncing on him, rattling off details on what he should wear to school starting the next day.

He really shouldn’t have gone to the party.





-





When Lu Han’s very much-adored idol mentioned that he’d be seeing Kris around, Kris didn’t think it was going to happen so soon. He thought that maybe they’d accidentally bump into each other in the next party, which Kris has vowed never to attend.

Except now, with Baekhyun slipping into his cardiology class, he feels very much cornered. He bows his head because he thinks he’s been spotted and pulls his cap lower over his face. This does more harm than good because the professor is now yelling his name very loudly in the lecture hall, telling him to take off his cap. When he looks up, cap off and face red, Baekhyun gives him a cheeky smirk.

“You didn’t have to go through all that trouble just to get me to know that you’re in this class, too,” Baekhyun casually sides up to him as they file out of the hall after class.

He has thin and delicate fingers gripping his course books. They’re pretty fingers. Kris forces himself to look away and straight-ahead because there’s no way he’s entertaining this aficionado, who may be too pretty for his own good. It’s not that he’s judging Baekhyun for doing things…and too many people. It’s just that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for them to be friends (or something), especially when he can already see Lu Han watching them elatedly in the corner of his eye.

“I didn’t,” Kris corrects him seriously.

Baekhyun laughs. “I noticed you anyway,” he teases him. “It’s pretty impossible to miss you.”

“And yet, here we are, meeting for the first time,” Kris retorts.

“You sound so bitter about that,” Baekhyun chuckles. He reaches out and nonchalantly touches his arm. Kris’ heart wondrously skips a beat. “Don’t worry. Now that we’ve met, I won’t make the mistake of overlooking you anymore.” He slides his hand down Kris’ arm and chuckles when Kris shivers. “See you around,” he tells him with a wink.

Kris stops walking altogether, eyes trained on the back of Baekhyun’s pretty head. Was Baekhyun flirting with him? No one’s really flirted with him before because, well, he is Kris Wu after all. No one finds too tall, large man hands, grandpa sweaters, and glasses attractive, even though he’s dated before.

Junmyeon was his lab partner back in sophomore year. He was nice and sweet and had a really beautiful smile. By then, Kris had already been feeling the pressure of being the only person on the planet who hasn’t had his first kiss yet. So when an opportunity to go out with Junmyeon presented himself, he decided that he wouldn’t mind if Junmyeon took his first kiss.

Except they never did kiss.

Because he’s not sure that spilling his orange juice all over Junmyeon’s pristine white button up and clumsily trying to remedy the situation counted as a date. Needless to say, they never went out again.

He’s never even thought of going out with anyone after that. Lu Han still laughs at him whenever they come across Junmyeon on campus and Kris always ducks his head when this happens. He’s always been too awkward for his own skin. He’s pretty sure he’s never going to get kissed at this rate.

But then here comes Byun Baekhyun. Just what does he want from Kris?

“He wants to corrupt you, of course,” Lu Han muses, fork in between his teeth. “And then molest you. Because really, no one’s lips are in this day and age. Especially when Byun Baekhyun is studying in your school.”

“I hear there are still some lips over at the music department,” Jongdae pipes in.

“No, I don’t think so,” Lu Han shakes his head. “They make out with their tubas and flutes everyday.” Jongdae seriously nods in agreement.

Kris, meanwhile, rests his forehead on the table, resisting the urge to bang it. “Why do I know you people?”

“Hey,” Jongdae protests. “You’re lucky you even know us! Otherwise, who’s going to encourage you to just lose it to Baekhyun?”

“You’re lucky you even have the opportunity!” And Lu Han sounds very jealous of this fact. “I’d give anything to be deized by Byun Baekhyun!”

“Except you’ve probably deized yourself way before Baekhyun even learned how to walk so,” Jongdae shamelessly states.

Kris helplessly looks on as Lu Han withdraws into his corner of the table and sulks into his doom of bitterness. Jongdae merely smirks and goes back to his food.

What Lu Han said is true, though. It’s pretty impossible to find anyone who’s never been kissed before. Unless you count him, which makes him an exception because he’s pretty dorky and dumb enough to think that first kisses should be saved for his one true love.

So why not lose it to Byun Baekhyun? He seems willing enough if Kris has read the initial signs right. He’ll just have to go with it. Who knows, if he gets comfortable enough, he might even initiate the kiss?





-





Baekhyun starts popping up everywhere after that. Now that Kris knows who he is, it seems that he’s actually been in all of his classes since ever. He wonders why he’s never noticed him before. (“Because he just started earning his reputation late last year,” Lu Han clues him in. “No one knew about him before then.”) Even so, Kris can’t imagine not ever noticing him before, not with a smile like that.

Baekhyun doesn’t actually smile smile. He only smirks about everything most of the time. But there are those moments (and there have been quite a number since Baekhyun seems steadfast on seducing him these days) when something catches him off guard and the curve of his lips seems more genuine and the light in his eyes glows a tad brighter.

“You’re staring at me again.”

Kris blinks and has the decency to look embarrassed. “Sorry,” he mutters, turning his attention back to Pathophysiology of Heart Disease. He really has to learn how to keep his eyes from fluttering like a moth that can’t stay away from the radiance. He turns a page and scrunches his eyebrows like Lu Han says he does when he’s seriously reading something.

“You want to kiss me, don’t you?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow in amusement as Kris chokes on his own saliva. He makes a show of his lips slowly.

In all the time they’ve been spending together, Baekhyun never fails to tease about Kris’ lips and how he maybe wants Baekhyun to do it for him. It also never fails to make Kris feel like gasping for air, embarrassed out of his own mind.

Kris murmurs something unintelligible, eyes trying to burn a hole through his textbook.

“You’re far too easy,” Baekhyun snickers.

“I am not,” Kris coughs indignantly, straightening up in his seat and glaring resolutely at him.

“Oh really?” Baekhyun challenges. He stands up and leans across the desk, face dangerously close to his. “So if I just lean a little bit more closer,” his voice drops in a slow whisper that sends shivers up and down Kris’ spine, “and kiss you right now, you would push me away?”

Kris stops breathing. He stops breathing and watches with lidded eyes the way Baekhyun stares at his lips and his own in the process. This close, he can see even more clearly how Baekhyun’s face is flawless, like soft porcelain, very faint freckles dotting his cheeks. He can see how his eyelashes flutter and fan his upper cheeks prettily like he’s never seen lashes flutter before. He can also see how utterly inviting that tiny mole placed prettily on the right corner of his lips is.

“I…” Kris tries to gasp out words that he’s pretty sure he knows is in his brain somewhere, unconsciously leaning forward.

Baekhyun’s eyes flick up to his and he smirks. “This is what I’m saying,” he knowingly says, leaning back towards his side of the table. “You wouldn’t push me away. On the other hand, you’d meet me halfway and actually kiss me first.” He slightly tilts his head, amusement making his eyes twinkle. “Am I right?”

“Is that so bad?” Kris asks unashamedly, clearing his throat. “I mean, isn’t that what this whole thing is about, you wanting to be the one to take my first kiss from me? I’m just trying to speed up the process.”

This is something that confuses Kris about Baekhyun. He walks into his life, armed with the purpose of seducing Kris’ first kiss away, and yet, as they spend more time together, it doesn’t seem like Baekhyun’s going to actually take his first kiss yet. Why is he wasting time when Kris is pretty sure that Baekhyun’s done this countless of times?

Baekhyun’s laughter distracts Kris from his thoughts. He’s standing up, books packed into his bag.

“Your first kiss, or any kiss for that matter, should never be taken from you,” Baekhyun tells him. “You have to want to give it.”

Before Kris’ brain catches up to him to respond, Baekhyun has already made his way out of the library.





-





“Do you want to go out again tonight?”

Three heads look up at the definitive lilt of Baekhyun’s voice. Lu Han’s mouth hangs open just as Jongdae breaks into chuckles. Kris just stares at him, because he and Baekhyun may hang out with each other, with Baekhyun seeking him out right after classes. But it’s never happened when Kris is in the cafeteria, hanging out with his friends.

“Uh,” Kris stammers. He can already hear the whispers of the people around them. With Baekhyun’s dark outfit, dark eyes and almost dark smile, how can anyone miss the notorious Byun Baekhyun asking out a nobody very publicly?

“Or would you prefer if I join you right here?” Baekhyun easily slides down on the empty seat beside Kris and picks out one of his French fries. He smiles at him then turns to Jongdae and Lu Han, who’s practically drooling at the sight of him joining them for lunch.

“I, uh,” Kris’ brain continues to amaze him with his non-brilliant mind in times of distress. Jongdae kicks him really hard under the table, causing him to practically inhale his ketchup.

“Hot plans for tonight?” Lu Han blurts out.

“Maybe,” Baekhyun mysteriously answers.

Kris swallows nervously when he feels Baekhyun drape his arm around his shoulders then casually slide his hand down his back. Baekhyun is always finding ways to lean against him, or touch his arm while he’s laughing or play with his fingers when he’s bored. Kris doesn’t normally mind it. But with Baekhyun it just feels different. Maybe because he sees every touch as an innuendo, a preview of a promise yet to be sealed. But even if it wasn’t, he can’t deny anymore that he doesn’t want this, doesn’t want to hang out with Baekhyun. He can’t pretend anymore that he doesn’t want to kiss him.

Still, it doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with that idea.

“I don’t think that’s—“ Kris begins to say.

“We’ll make sure he’s all spruced up for tonight,” Lu Han promises.

“Do you hear that?” Baekhyun turns to Kris, eyes alight with excitement, tongue sliding across his lips. Kris’ eyes widen and he pretends that he hasn’t stopped breathing at the sight. “You’re going to be all spruced up for me.”

All Kris manages to do is force himself not to smile like he’s having a mental breakdown.

“Okay then,” Baekhyun says with a blinding smirk, popping another fry in his mouth. “I’ll pick you up at around five.” He winks at Kris before getting up and getting out of the cafeteria.

“You are so going to get more than a kiss tonight,” Jongdae teases him in amazement.





-





Whatever Kris expected him and Baekhyun to do on their date, driving to Baekhyun’s place, going to a cheap motel, or park the car somewhere (because he’s heard that a car is a popular place to be deized), it wasn’t going to a nursing home.

“Uh,” Kris tries to say something as he follows Baekhyun out of the cab and to the building.

Baekhyun stops and faces him. “I hope you don’t mind,” he says, shifting in his stance, which is the first time Kris has seen him uncertain about anything. “I forgot I was volunteering today and I couldn’t just—“

Kris merely shrugs nonchalantly, not bothering to mention how shocked he is at the fact that Baekhyun goes to a nursing home and even volunteers. He is worried about how he looks, though. Lu Han went out of his way to make sure he looked decent enough for Baekhyun to actually want to kiss him and maybe take his clothes off afterwards. Although, Kris can’t help but think as he looks at his dark skintight jeans, he’s not sure exactly how Baekhyun will manage to take it off.

Baekhyun chuckles at him and waves dismissively. “You look fine,” he assures him. “No one will care what you look like, even if you do look like on legs.” Kris chokes. He seems to have the habit of doing that when Baekhyun is around. He laughs again and grabs his hand. “C’mon.”

Kris follows Baekhyun inside the building and is amazed at how everyone in the staff knows who he is and greets him with affectionate smiles, some even reaching out to ruffle his hair. They go through a couple of hallways before reaching the end of one and stopping outside the door. Baekhyun looks at him.

“You okay with his?” Baekhyun asks and there’s that flash of uncertainty again. Kris isn’t sure what he’s uncertain about because, if anything, this just shows that there’s so much more to the Byun Baekhyun that everyone talks about.

“I don’t really have a choice anyway, right?” Kris gives him a teasing smile.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen in mirth, definitely pleased that Kris doesn’t seem to mind. “Not really,” he responds, his hands on the door, ready to push it open. “Just think of it this way. You have to like the person who’ll kiss you so that you’ll actually kiss them back. I’m just getting you to like me.”

As Baekhyun winks at him before going into the room, Kris thinks that, at this point, there is no problem of him kissing Baekhyun back.





-





Kris finds that Baekhyun is naturally very touchy, and not even in the suggestive way. He realizes this when Baekhyun practically clings onto him during their nursing home trip as he introduces him to the wards and staff. He also keeps on leaning into Kris, lightly touching his arm when he’s laughing or just happy about something. He likes to brush Kris’ hair away when it falls in front of his eyes. But, most of all, he likes wrapping his smaller and dainty fingers around Kris’ bigger and callous ones, which always make Kris’ heart bounce around rather forcefully in his chest.

Just like what’s happening now.

Kris furrows his brows as he rereads the third line of the fourth paragraph in page 356 of his Internal Medicine textbook. They have an exam in two weeks and Kris really needs to do well because he barely passed in the last one. Except Baekhyun is playing with his fingers and he really can’t concentrate over the difference between an aortic insufficiency and an aortic stenosis.

“Do you want to go out?” Baekhyun suddenly asks and Kris looks up at him in surprise. He sighs and looks out of the window, where a couple of students are playing Frisbee. “I’m really bored with all of this studying. It’s such a nice day outside.”

“How you manage to get good grades in all your classes is really beyond me,” Kris states in a mixture of annoyance and awe.

He knows that Baekhyun likes to go out. He doesn’t miss any social event because he always says that people expect him to be there. He also knows that Baekhyun always aces all his exams in all of his classes. For Kris to ace an exam, he has to study everyday two weeks prior. Meanwhile, Baekhyun studies two days before, merely skims through his handwritten notes, and almost always perfects them. He’s one of those people who always baffle Kris with their deadly combination of brains and beauty.

Baekhyun merely shrugs. “This is what I want to do,” he simply says. “So,” he continues with a grin, squeezing his hand, “do you want to walk around until we decide what to do with the rest of the afternoon?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down until Kris rolls his eyes.

“Fine,” Kris pretends to grumble as he starts packing his things. He’s probably going to regret this, but he’s realized right from the beginning that Baekhyun’s someone he can’t say no to.

“Great!” Baekhyun beams, tugging him out of the library, practically skipping. “There’s this coffee shop nearby that makes this amazing purple potato latte. You have to try it.”

“And then we’ll study?” Kris presses.

Baekhyun shoots him a look, but nods with a smile that makes Kris’ heart flip and flop. “Yes, okay,” he promises.

Kris looks on fondly as Baekhyun babbles away about the coffee shop and other flavored lattes that they have. In all the time they’ve been spending together, it seems that Baekhyun has slowly shed the cool, collected, somewhat bad boy persona that he wears around in school all the time. Not that Baekhyun isn’t cool, collected or bad (this Kris has yet to see, though), but everything that Kris has seen from him sort of contradicts all of that.

Baekhyun is funny. He loves making jokes, even really lame ones, and laughs at himself for telling them. This, of course, makes Kris laugh because who laughs at themselves for telling jokes? Baekhyun is sweet, always making sure that Kris’ notes are complete for class, asking if he’s eaten as he gives him a sandwich he’s prepared himself. Baekhyun is incredibly smart, and not just in his classes, but in real life. He knows how to navigate Seoul by himself, knowing all the small streets and shortcuts, as well as the nice and charming places to get the best food. He loves helping people out, as is evidenced by his volunteering stint in the nursing home.

“Purple potato or peanut butter?” Baekhyun breaks into his thoughts as they reach the counter.

“Purple potato?” Kris shrugs uncaringly.

“Same!” Baekhyun cheers, turning towards the barista, who frowns and tells them that they’ve run out of ingredients at the moment and that they only have one set for one cup of purple potato. “I wanted purple potato, too.” He turns to Kris with a really cute pout before smiling at the barista.

“That’s okay,” Kris speaks before Baekhyun can say anything. “We’ll just share it.”

Baekhyun blinks at him as he proceeds to pay for the drink, looking surprised at this sudden sense of familiarity. People only share drinks if they’re comfortable enough with the other person and to warrant that kind of relationship in the couple of weeks that they’ve known each other just shows how Kris just might feel about it.

They stare at the purple potato latte with the heart foam design, sitting beside each other on a small round table, both wondering just how exactly to share it. After Kris has said it, he immediately swallowed and tried to take it back, but he couldn’t because, well, he does want to share it with Baekhyun. But this is a drink that Baekhyun seems to enjoy very much so he gently pushes the mug towards him.

“You try it first,” Baekhyun shakes his head, pushing the mug back towards him with a look in his eyes that Kris doesn’t understand.

Kris takes the mug and places the rim on his lips. It’s sweet, but not too sweet and he finds that he likes it. He places the mug back on the table and looks at Baekhyun, who has an expectant expression on his face.

“I like it,” Kris nods. He unconsciously his lower lip, his eyes widening when he sees Baekhyun following the movement with his eyes. “It’s, uh, good.”

Baekhyun place both his elbows on the table, leaning closer to him in the process, eyes still on his lips. Kris’ tries not to show how his eyes on him makes his breathing shallow and merely pretends to look uninterested in the sudden closeness. Suddenly, Baekhyun reaches out and slowly runs a finger on the corner of Kris’ upper lip and Kris’ heart beats on overtime because despite Baekhyun being touchy, he’s never touched him like this and so closely. He watches as Baekhyun just stares at his lips before his eyes unhurriedly move upwards, finally meeting his eyes.

Baekhyun has a really nice face and he remembers once more that time when Baekhyun leaned across the table in the library. At that time, he felt like he wanted to kiss Baekhyun, that natural force pulling him in because Baekhyun is attractive whether he likes it or not. But now, he knows he wants to kiss Baekhyun and not just because he’s attractive. He wants to kiss him because he’s funny, sweet, smart, and kind. His physical attractiveness is secondary.

Kris consciously moves forward in an attempt to maybe bring them even closer and maybe seal the deal on the much awaited deizing of his lips. But then he knocks down the latte mug and they spring away from each other.

“You have foam on your lip,” Baekhyun clears his throat, mopping down the table with tissues.

Kris smiles awkwardly and mutters a thanks just as the barista cleans up their table.





-





Kris has never been a very bold person. Sure, he recites in class and does well in all things academic, but he works hard for that because he knows that he needs to do well so that his future will be a good one. But he’s not very good at being bold with people, especially those that he likes.

Right now, he and Baekhyun are walking side by side. Kris decided to walk Baekhyun home. It’s not the first time, but, for some reason, there’s a different feeling lingering in the air, like something’s going to happen.

“What are you thinking about?” Kris asks casually, hoping that it doesn’t sound too lame because he’s really no good at small talk, which is why Lu Han thinks he’s hopeless at relationships.

Baekhyun snorts. “That’s such a cliché question. What do you really want to know?”

Kris shrugs, feeling his face turn red. “You’re just so quiet.”

“You’re quiet, too,” Baekhyun retorts with a chuckle. “What are you thinking about?”

“I was thinking,” Kris starts, “that I’ve never skipped studying for anything before. Ever.” He smiles a little as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “It’s quite fun.”

“Quite? Just quite?” Baekhyun looks so offended at the lukewarm response to his company that Kris bursts out in laughter. “I am more than mediocre at anything. Quite doesn’t cut it.” He huffs. “I might have to step up my game.”

“You don’t have to,” Kris says, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, still laughing. Baekhyun looks up at him and Kris smiles tenderly at him. “You are more than mediocre,” he agrees. “In fact, I think you are more than people expect from you.”

Baekhyun blinks, mouth opening a bit in startled at the comment. He opens his mouth maybe to say something but Kris looks away because he’s not sure if it was the right thing to say and he doesn’t really want Baekhyun to say anything to refute it. Because he really means it.

When they reach Baekhyun’s apartment, Kris reluctantly untangles his hand from Baekhyun’s. It was nice, holding Baekhyun’s hand when he’s the one who initiated it. He likes the feeling that he feels confident enough to reach out for someone’s hand and hold it.

“Thank you,” Kris says as Baekhyun takes a step up the stairs towards his door, while he stays at the foot of it. “I had fun.”

“You make it sound like we were on a date,” Baekhyun shoves him teasingly. He chuckles as Kris turns red. “But I had fun, too. We’re going to do it again, right?” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down and beams triumphantly because he knows Kris won’t say no to him.

“You promised me that we’d study for our exam,” Kris reminds him, trying to be stern about it.

Baekhyun waves dismissively. “I haven’t forgotten about that,” he says. “We can start tomorrow. We can meet at the library at 10.”

Kris nods, feeling relieved. “Okay, see you then,” he says. “Good night, Baekhyun. I hope you sleep well.”

Baekhyun leans towards Kris and pretends to flick of lint off his shoulder. “You’re always so cheesy. Sweet and gentlemanly, but cheesy,” he teases him. “But I guess it’s why I like you.” He winks at him, straightening up. “Good night.”

Sometimes, during classes, a moment comes where a question is asked by the professor and Kris knows the answer but is unsure whether to raise his hand or not because he’s afraid of the tiny possibility that his answer would be wrong. This moment feels like that. It feels like he knows he should stop Baekhyun from going up the stairs, opening his door and finally leaving him alone outside, that if he doesn’t, he would regret it, just like how he’s regretted not raising his hand in class all those times.

Kris watches as Baekhyun turns around and climbs up towards his door, right hand on the railing. And suddenly, he knows what he has to do. He reaches out and grabs Baekhyun’s hand on the railing, causing him to stop moving and look at him.

“Kris?” Baekhyun asks, confused.

Kris pulls him back down until Baekhyun is right in front of him, only a forehead taller. His right hand is clamped on Baekhyun’s left wrist, clammy. He vaguely feels Baekhyun’s pulse speeding up, but feels more nervous about what he’s about to do.

“Is something wrong?” Baekhyun asks.

The tone of his voice makes Kris look up at him. There is something there that he sees that makes him feel like maybe he shouldn’t do this. But he shakes those thoughts away because he knows he’s going to regret it if he doesn’t try.

“Nothing,” Kris bravely surges forward. “Just…” He lets go of Baekhyun’s wrist and reaches up to brush the strands of Baekhyun’s hair away from his eyes. His hand carefully trails down his cheek to his chin, resting there. He notices Baekhyun swallow ever so slightly. “Baekhyun,” he whispers, gently pulling him closer, his eyes trained on Baekhyun’s pink lips.

This is it. Kris’ heart is in shambles, beating erratically, like he’s about to have a heart attack. He wants to kiss Baekhyun. He will kiss Baekhyun. He leans closer, eyes closing, expectant.

But just before their lips meet, breaths mingling together, Baekhyun pulls away.

Kris’ eyes flutter open, first confused and then wide and rejected. Baekhyun takes a step backward up the stairs, detaching himself completely from Kris, his hand falling to his side.

“I... we shouldn’t do this,” is all Baekhyun says before he’s sprinting back up and leaving Kris out in the cold.

-





Baekhyun doesn’t show up in the library at 10am. Neither does show up the next day. Nor does Kris see him in the next couple of days. It’s almost like they aren’t even taking the same classes. Kris knows he should be worried, except he’s pretty sure that nothing bad has happened to Baekhyun.

He sighs and packs up his stuff. This isn’t the first time he’s hung out in the library or in the cafeteria, or even in the nursing home in hopes that Baekhyun would show up and they could talk about whatever it is that happened. He might as well just go back to the apartment with Lu Han, who has been whining that he was spending too much time with Baekhyun already that he’s forgotten that he promised to watch the taped Manchester United versus Chelsea game with him that morning.

“What are you doing here?” Lu Han pauses as he comes out of his room. Glancing around, it’s almost as if he expects Baekhyun to be there.

“I couldn’t concentrate on studying,” Kris mutters, making himself comfortable on the couch just as the game starts.

Lu Han settles in beside him. “You do know that I’m going to ask you about this later, right?” When Kris merely sighs really loudly, Lu Han reaches for the remote and turns the TV off, startling Kris. “Okay I’m just going to ask now. What happened?”

Kris leans his head back on the couch to avoid Lu Han’s piercing stare. Lu Han is going to find out sooner or later because he’s always been able to read him very well. This, though, this thing with Baekhyun, whatever it is, he doesn’t quite know how to put it into words and hopes that Lu Han can just figure it out.

“I don’t know,” Kris finally says. He sees Lu Han’s incredulous expression and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what happened.”

“How—?” Lu Han starts, but Kris continues.

“One minute, we were okay and then the next, we weren’t,” Kris attempts to explain. “I don’t know.” He squeezes his eyes shut. The lie tastes bitter in his tongue because the truth that he knows very well what happened is just too difficult to say.

“What did you do?” Lu Han simply asks.

“What makes you think it was my fault?” Kris demands, offended.

“Because if Baekhyun did anything, there wouldn’t be an issue,” Lu Han rolls his eyes. “Baekhyun has been blatantly doing advances on you and, while you’re uncomfortable about it, you’ve never complained once. You’ve been going on with him and ditching your friends—“

“I have not—“

“You have, Kris,” Lu Han snickers then waves dismissively. “It’s not like we’re upset with you for it. We can see that you’re actually going out for once with someone you actually like and—“

“I do not—“

“Yes, you do,” Lu Han cuts him off sternly. He places his hands primly on his lap, which Kris thinks is deceptively calm of him. “So, what did you do?”

“Imayhavetriedtokisshimbutherejectedmean