‘I swear if you do this I will cut your fingers off and make you eat them!’ G.O. runs around the living room with a terrified look on his face, anxiously looking for his mobile phone. Mir just puts on his I-don’t-know-anything-I’m-from-the-countryside-face while he watches G.O.’s sweating face giving him angry and horrified looks while the older boy searches through bags, drawers and the pile of empty food wrappings on the small table in front of the television. Of course he is hiding the phone in his sweatpants. Unlike his hyung, when Mir plans a prank, he thinks it through. While G.O. is exclaiming an awful lot of curse words (words the band has already gotten used to so much, it’s not even a shock to them anymore when they drop out of G.O.’s mouth like water from the shower), Seung Ho steps into the room with his pj’s already on. When his fingers land on G.O.’s head, a firm thump is heard, apart from that the leader doesn’t bother trying to correct the boys language any further. He practically throws himself upon the couch, rubs his sleepy eyes with the back of his hand and looks at Mir with a curious yet hesitant face.

‘Do I want to know, Mirreuh?’ he asks while raising one eyebrow. Mir looks at his leader, whose hair is a little messed up and whose face screams for sleep, and decides Seung Ho doesn’t want to know.

‘I’m just playing a-’ before he can finish his sentence G.O. screams loudly and holds up Cheon Doongs phone.
‘I FOUND IT! HAH! YOU WON’T BE-… able…’ his voice dies when he realizes the phone isn’t his and with the speed of light his triumphant face falls into a dark glare towards both Mir and Seung Ho.

‘Cheul Yong-ah, don’t do this to me. I was kidding. I like to make fun. Don’t live like this, oh?’ G.O. crawls towards his band mates on his hands and knees and pulls up the left side of his upper lip while he tries to give Mir an uncomfortable and penetrating look. Mir hears Seung Ho release a small sigh, and suddenly feels bored by his own prank. The tired aura of his leader has made him feel slightly guilty actually.

‘It’s too late anyway, hyung. I already posted it on my Twitter,’ he says with his well practiced bored tone. G.O.’s face drops, if possible, even further. Now he just looks ridiculous with his brushy eyebrows raised up so high in surprise and disappointment and his mouth in an open pout.

‘YAH!’ Mir screams at him, while G.O. turns away from him and sits on his knees with his face towards the TV, arms pressed against his chest like a rebellious child.

‘You were the one that made me look ridiculous in those photos, it was only fair to post one of you as well!’ Why is hyung being such baby? Mir looks at Seung Ho whose attention has been drawn again.

‘…What pictures?’ he asks with a low voice that makes both Mir and G.O. clench their teeth in discomfort.

‘You are the maknae, Mirreuh. The fans like it when YOU act like this. I have a tough image, nobody wants to see me in those kind of clothes. Especially when I’m not doing it for variety shows, you idiot!’ G.O.’s pathetic attempt to ignore Seung Ho’s voice becomes even more pathetic when his eyes go from Mir to Seung Ho in such a fast pase, it makes Mir dizzy.

‘What pictures…?’ Seung Ho asks again, even more quietly than last time and with an unreadable face (which makes his appearance even more terrifying than it already is). Mir is too scared to look to the side of the couch where his hyung is sitting. Suddenly the whole prank, the whole photo shoot he and G.O. were having in their boredom, the whole damn dressing up feels like a stupid, idiotic, childish and disappointing act of unprofessionalism. He should’ve known better than doing that, instead of making his leader any more nervous and troubled than he already is. Instead of making the silent and easygoing Seung Ho a disappointed and even more quiet one. Mir lets out a trembling sigh while he looks at G.O. who is not half as impressed by Seung Ho’s tone as he himself is, but still doesn’t necessarily show any form of confidence to tell about their dress up game of this afternoon.

‘I took some pictures of hyung...’ Mir starts, and he sees from the corner of his eye how Seung Ho freezes while G.O. drops his head in shame.

‘Yes.’ Seung Ho doesn’t really ask or motivate you to continue when he says it like this. It’s more of a confirmation of him knowing that the following is going to be bad. He does this often when they (mostly Mir and Joon, actually) have been doing stupid things again or broke something while they were fooling around and Seung Ho is either going through schedules with the manager or doing other leader-things without them. When Seung Ho says ‘yes’ like this, Mir just feels all the energy slipping from his body and the disappointment of his hyung sends heavy shivers down his spine. He shouldn’t have messed around with G.O., why couldn’t he just have went along with Cheon Doong and watch a movie? G.O. has cringed into a small ball of muscular sadness when he opens his mouth to continue the maknae’s story. Of course, he couldn’t let Mir do all the talking and sit there like a coward.

‘In women’s clothing,’ he says with a dry voice. Mir awaits the reaction of his most appreciated hyung in agony, but instead of responding Seung Ho merely pulls himself up from the couch, moving his limbs in the slow and stiff way all tired people do, and walks to the door of the living room. He pulls his leg up a little higher to step over the open bag G.O. had just now thrown upside down to search for his phone and stops with his hand on the door knob.

‘Just…’ he pauses, shakes his head and then grants Mir a small smile before he disappears into the hallway, probably heading for his bedroom.

While G.O. lets out a relieved sigh, shamelessly admitting by this he was actually a bit afraid of his leader, Mir fetches the phone out of his pocket and starts deleting the Tweet from G.O.’s account. It has been reTweeted 500 times already, and the replies to it are still counting. Damn you, Bang Cheul Yong!

‘I erased it,’ he says dryly to G.O. before he heads into the hallway too, making his way to Seung Ho’s room. G.O. is left in confusion but doesn’t hesitate to start a huge Twitter-rant against his maknae right this instant.

‘Bang Cheul Yong is mean! This picture has been photoshopped ke ke ke! I look funny like a lady, ha ha!’ the sound of G.O. saying his Tweets out loud in anger dies away when Mir closes the door of Seung Ho’s bedroom to look for his leader. He finds him sitting on the floor with his back resting on the bed, looking exceptionally tired. Hyung, what is with you…? Mir slowly walks towards Seung Ho and sits next to him, repressing the urge to throw his arms around Seung Ho’s shoulders.

‘Tired, hyung?’ he tries to sound quirky but the words come out of his mouth harder than he intended, sounding superficial and almost sarcastic. Mir feels uneasy.

‘Yes very much,’ Seung Ho replies dryly. He rubs his eyes again and tilts head back to let it rest on the bed frame. In a spasm Mir pushes his hand towards Seung Ho’s neck to supply comfort, but his arm lingers in the air halfway, leaving only his fingers to push against his hyungs throat. What the… Unable to think straight Mir freezes and stays in the uncomfortable position while Seung Ho turns his head to look at him in surprise.

‘Cheul Yong-ah…’ Mir shivers when Seung Ho uses his real name, ‘I’m not mad, don’t worry. Byun Hee can overcome this dent in his ego and you must let me see the pictures tomorrow when I have more energy, neh? I’m sure it’s actually quite funny in the morning.’ He says it with a hint of enthusiasm and comfort in his voice and Mir immediately feels better. He nods firmly and childlike as he always does when his leader speaks to him directly and gives Seung Ho his warmest and largest smile to replace the tight hug he is actually too scared to give. Seung Ho smiles back with his dark eyes, patting Mir slowly on the head while getting up and getting under the covers of his bed. A small but everlasting second, Mir and Seung Ho let their eyes meet, and Seung Ho looks almost inviting, like he gives approval for Mir to join him under the sheets to sleep together as if it was something they did every night. As if their relationship was comfortable and carefree like that, and mostly as if Seung Ho wanted to do this as badly as Mir wanted right now. But before Mir can even decide whether or not this moment is a late night misunderstanding in the poor light of the reading lamp, or an actual confirmation of Seung Ho that he knows, that he knows, or just a warm and fuzzy product of too little sleep and too much excitement in the evening resulting in a daydream, Seung Ho pulls Mir’s sweater. A small tug before he lances himself back into the mattress.

Mir looks at the place his t-shirt stands up a little from the tug in disbelief. Seung Ho. Hyung. What is this? Mir doesn’t dare to hesitate but because of his disbelief he slowly gets up and looks awkwardly at the space next to Seung Ho that he could so easily lay down on. Since Seung Ho’s eyes are closed, which is very inconvenient when you are trying to figure out what somebody you care as much about as Mir does actually means, Mir first decides to sit down on the bed, his back towards Seung Ho’s ever so present body and starts to breath heavily. His face is turning flaming hot while he thinks about how close he is to Seung Ho’s leg, how easily he could hug him, or maybe even…

‘Do you really want me to ask you, Mirreuh? I didn’t think you were this cold towards me,’ Seung Ho moans with his eyes closed, his right hand placed over his forehead and his left hand held up in the air. Mir freezes in shock of his hyungs voice but pulls himself together quickly and slides next to Seung Ho, placing his head on the upheld arm lastly. He can’t believe how natural this feels. How can it feel like this when his heart is beating so fast and he’s sure he’ll pass out within seconds if he doesn’t remember. How. To. Breathe. BREATHE, CHEUL YONG! Seung Ho lets out a pleased sigh before he turns towards Mir and starts his stomach.

‘Is it okay if I do this?’ he asks. Mir looks at Seung Ho’s watery, beautiful, amazing, incredible deep pools of brown eyes and gulps when they meet his. The eyelashes are so long it seems like every time the older boy blinks, it happens on slow motion. You have to stop forgetting how to breath, you piece of wood…

‘Cheul Yong-ah, I would really appreciate it if you stayed here for a while,’ Seung Ho now whispers, and Mir, again, represses the urge to hug him tightly after saying something he has been dying to hear since… well, pretty much forever. The almost compels him as the long fingers of Seung Ho systematically go over his chest, down to his belly button and stop, shamelessly, at the top of his sweatpants, going over a little bit of hair every time the leader pauses and lifts his hand to start over again at the same place he began before. Mir has never experienced this mixed feeling of complete agony and total nirvana before. Seung Ho who is actually teasing him? His mouth turns dry but he manages to reply.

‘Of course, hyung…’

‘I’ve had a rough day. I need somebody to-’ Seung Ho’s voice cracks and he immediately stops speaking. How could he continue to talk like this to his maknae with a hoarse voice? He is the leader of a band and the oldest of a group, his feelings shouldn’t be exposed like this. That is obvious. Mir understands. Of course he does.

‘I get it, hyung,’ Mir says softly, trying to hide the trembling in his voice. He just wants Seung Ho to continue his stomach, since he stopped without knowing. It feels as if a warm and comfortable pillow has been removed from that area now the older boy isn’t him anymore. It feels like cold air is making his body hard and uneasy now Seung Ho is no longer touching him. Do I need you this much already? Mir realizes this truth with a hint of pain, knowing he is probably lost forever now, with no turning back from this moment on. Seung Ho grants him one of his few open mouthed smiles and before Mir can even process the beauty of that smile, Seung Ho grabs his shoulders and hugs him more tightly than he ever has even seen him do. To anyone. Ever. Before he knows it tears are rolling from Mir’s eyes as he lets his body absorb the warmth of the older boys arms, relieved that Seung Ho is not mad, touched that he let Mir of all the band members get this close to him. Afraid that the movement of trying to wipe his tears will stop Seung Ho from this sudden act of affection, Mir just lets the tears roll from his cheeks, to his jaw and into Seung Ho’s shirt. He slowly lifts his arms and hugs him back, as tightly as he had imagined himself doing so often, and after that even tighter.

‘Seung… Ho…’ Mir whispers while he buries his head in Seung Ho’s neck. It is only then that he feels the moving torso of his hyung, and hears the irregular breathing. Is Seung Ho crying? This thought first appears to Mir as ridiculous since Seung Ho is not like that. Joon would definitely cry, G.O. only from anger maybe and even Cheon Doong would have the ability to do so, but Seung Ho? He pulls back from the hug and places two of his fingers under Seung Ho’s chin as softly and gentle as possible. He is crying. It nearly breaks Mir’s heart.

‘Don’t ask,’ Seung Ho says with an unsteady voice, his normally broad and muscular shoulders are hanging down as if there was no muscle in them at all, his eyes are swollen and, as Mir realizes oh so well despite all of this, his hands are still resting on Mir’s waist. He wants to ask so badly, wants to help Seung Ho, but he sees in the eyes of his leader that the shame and the discomfort of talking about whatever it is that made him cry is too much for him. And by realizing this, Mir is okay with it and doesn’t need to know.

‘I’ll be here if you need me, hyung. Always. Don’t hesitate,’ Mir says while squeezing Seung Ho’s shoulders and pulling him in for another simply awesome feeling hug. He feels the tension of shock Seung Ho must have felt when his maknae boldly hugged him drift away from his shoulders. Seung Ho gives into the hug and sobs quietly, while Mir bites his lip to hold in his tears. They sit like this for minutes, Seung Ho softly sobbing while Mir occasionally his hair or taps his back, intensifying the hug whenever Seung Ho has let loose a little. If it wasn’t for the loud bang coming from the exercising room that they’re all familiar with as Joon dropping his weights again during his midnight workout, Seung Ho maybe wouldn’t have let Mir go to wipe his tears. They’re sitting face to face on their knees, closer to each other than Mir has ever even been to a girl. The covers are a messy pile at Seung Ho’s feet, and he looks at them, obviously avoiding Mir’s face.

‘Hyung…’ Mir says quietly, trying not to break the intimacy of this moment he has already cherished so much with his loud voice. He wants to know, should he go away, should he stay? Should he get him something to drink? Seung Ho slowly looks up at him, two fresh tears waiting to fall from the corners of his eyes.

‘Cheul Yong-ah, you sure give awesome hugs,’ he says with his beautiful and low voice while his face cracks into a smile, making the tears roll down at the sudden movement of his cheeks. Mir smiles along unknowingly, marveling at the beauty of the boy who is sitting across him on the bed, wondering what all of this means.

‘Would you… I mean… Do you want to go back to your own room, or…’ Seung Ho blushes bright pink as he hears his own words come out of his mouth which fortunately makes him unable to see the stupid face of pure joy Mir makes while turning not pink but a shamelessly intense apple red. Stop smirking, Cheul Yong! Why does he always have to command himself to act normally when Seung Ho is around? Of course Mir knows why but thinking about it would just be too scary. Instead he pulls the sheets over Seung Ho’s legs with one hand and pushes his hyung down with another.

‘I’m too tired to go back to my own room, it’s all the way down the hall and maybe G.O. hyung is waiting to punish me,’ he says with a determined voice while placing the covers neatly over Seung Ho’s body. He then slides under the covers himself and lays his head on the pillow next to the older boy. He hears Seung Ho chuckle and feels like he is about to melt right then and there  into a puddle of red apple colored goo of in-love-ness. When Seung Ho laughs, it sounds as if all the beautiful things in life have decided to make sound at the same time, Mir can’t handle it, he never could, and tries to find Seung Ho’s hand underneath the sheets.

‘I guess you better stay here with me then, under the protection of the crying, weak leader, oh?’ Seung Ho jokes and before Mir has found his hand or can say something about the self insulting comment he grabs Mir’s head and after a moment of looking at him with that curious look of his and a hint of maybe… endearment…? he places his soft, full lips on Mir’s and gives him one of the slowest, sweetest, warmest and most sensual kisses Mir could even imagine of getting.

Unlike what he himself expected, Mir doesn’t freeze and faint, but immediately answers the kiss, pressing his lips eagerly against his leaders’. Seung Ho boldly places his thumb on Mir’s chin and pulls it down a little so his tongue can enter Mir’s mouth. The sensation of the kiss is so overwhelming Mir can’t find the strength to raise his arms, despite how badly he wants to run his fingers through Seung Ho’s thick brown hair. Seung Ho pulls him up, making them sit across each other like they did before and while one hand softly caresses Mir’s neck and throat, the other turns off the reading lamp next to the bed. Now the room is completely dark, Mir finds the courage to move is limbs and with all his concentration and strength, he really can’t focus on anything besides feeling like he might die from this sweet feeling in his mouth, he places his hands on Seung Ho’s biceps and pulls him closer, intensifying the kiss once more. Seung Ho lets out a small moan, which turns Mir on so much he frowns heavily at the sound of it, and pushes Mir back on the mattress before he lowers his own body on Mir’s. While Seung Ho’s tongue massages Mir’s with a softness that is almost like torture if it wouldn’t be so damn y, Mir thanks all the gods he can think off before falling so deeply into the kiss he thinks he might drown. By this time, Seung Ho has clearly taken control over Mirs mouth, since all Mir can do is lay on the bed and experience the warmth of the older boys body, the sweet moist of his tongue, the hands of the older boy that are pretty much everywhere and the musky smell of his body. He knows he must look ridiculous, laying underneath this stunning person pleasing his mouth like Mir was a puppet Seung Ho was trying to provoke into action, but he simply can’t move. He literally can’t move any part of his body, except for his tongue that is being pushed and in various heavenly ways and his hands that are slowly and softly Seung Ho’s hair and caressing his face. He might just pass out. He is going to pass out. Mir feels it. He is seconds away from falling into a very, very deep pool of love and never coming out of it when Seung Ho with a last nibble on his upper lip breaks the kiss and pats Mir slightly on the cheek. Mir’s eyes shoot open in shock as he is pulled away from his kissing daydream and just hopes he hasn’t turned so red that he is glowing by now.

‘I’m sorry, I just…’ Mir starts, but Seung Ho places his finger on Mir’s lips and after that his eyebrow with his thumb.

‘It’s very late, what we are doing is very wrong and I originally was very tired,’ he whispers seriously, but Mir can see the smile on the older boys face through the darkness. He nods anyway and chuckles at the thought of what they had just been doing. How long have we been kissing? It feels like two seconds but could’ve lasted a century.

‘Hyung, do you still want me to stay?’ he asks while Seung Ho gets off him and plays a little with Mir’s fingers. Seung Ho is silent for a bit before he answers, his lips so close to Mir’s ear that he thinks he might just pass out anyway.

‘I’d very much appreciate it if you would, yes,’ he almost breathes, the hot air coming out of his mouth making Mir shiver all the way to his toes. He never thought those overly correct formulated words could sound so y. Never. He feels the pain in his cheeks from the humongous smirk that is plastered upon his face and pulls Seung Ho closer to him, burying himself in the boys chest. Seung Ho laughs out loud before he smothers the sound by turning his face into the pillow.

‘You…’ he laughs in the pillow while Mir throws the leaders arms around him and crawls even further under the covers, ‘you are one insanely cute boy.’ It’s that Mir is not the kind of person who cries of happiness, otherwise he would’ve probably showered Seung Ho in his tears, he knows for sure. He pulls up his head to match his hyungs and stares at him in the dark, already excited by the thought of the way those eyes will look in the morning, filled with sleep and memories of tonight. He brushes his bruised lips against Seung Ho’s and tries to turn away from him to, finally, get some sleep, but Seung Ho grabs his neck and pulls him closer for one last, hot goodnight kiss.

‘Sleep well, Cheul Yong-ah,’ he chuckles after their lips part and Mir buries his surprised face in his chest once more.  I might just die tonight.

‘Sleep well, hyung,’ Mir mumbles, pulling himself closer to his hyungs chest with his arms around his waist.

‘And thank you,’ Seung Ho sighs after he hears Mir breathing the steady breath of sleep against his chest.