Chapter 17

First Love

WW club went to a restaurant to celebrate. A private dining room was prepared for them. It’s Sullis’ first time at such a luxurious restaurant and it’s really overwhelming for her.

“You don’t look happy.” Said Hara

“No…I’m happy for Minho…It’s just that…do you usually celebrate this grand?” asked Sulli

“Umm…yeah…when we don’t have much time to prepare we just book a restaurant…but we celebrate in different ways too. Next celebration, I’ll show you what I mean.” Said Hara

Sulli noticed that Minho, Jonghyun and Krystal are talking by the terrace. What can they be talking about? They look pretty serious.

When Krystal went in, she sat near Sulli.

“So Sulli, how was the exam?” asked Krystal

“It was hard as usual.” Said Sulli

“I bet it is. Anyway, while the 2 boys are out there, let’s have some girl talk.” Said Krystal

Girl talk? How does a girl talk work? Is it like the way she talks with IU?

“And this time, let’s talk about…Sulli!” said Krystal

This made Sulli’s eyes wide.

Hara and Suzy sat closer to the 2.

“So…do you have a boyfriend?” asked Krystal

“Me? Oh…no I don’t.” said Sulli shaking her head.

“Did you ever had one?” asked Hara curiously

“Hmmm…No.” answered Sulli

“Was there ever a time you really really liked someone?” asked Suzy

This made Sulli think for a while

Krystal’s brows are almost joining together

“So you did like someone, huh? Who is it?” asked Krystal

“C’mon tell us.” Said Hara excitedly

“Umm…” Sulli is not prepared for this…but WW club’s rule says there can’t be any secrets

“Umm…He’s my highschool senior. He took good care of me on my freshman year.” Said Sulli

“Oh…” said Suzy a bit giddy “Did he court you?”

“He left for the US before my second year. And then we would still contact each other by mail. He visited recently and told me that he’s courting me.” Said Sullli

“Wow….How long has it been since he left? He is still courting you?” asked Hara

“I didn’t know he was doing that…I just confirmed recently” said Sulli

“Poor guy.” Said Suzy

“What did you like about him?” asked Krystal

“Hmmm…Umm…He’s very kind. When I was younger I….” Sulli took a deep breath “I don’t think you’ll believe this but…” Sulli took another deep breath “But people thought I was…beautiful.”

Sulli is expecting to see reactions like “Really? You were beautiful then? So what happened now?”. But Sulli noticed the girls waiting for her to continue.

“Umm…it’s like I can get away with things by just smiling and trying to look charming…But as much as older people and guys like that…girls with your same generation…they hate that.” Said Sulli

Suzy nodded energetically telling Sulli that Suzy is the best person who can relate to that experience.

“When I got to highschool, I was the same person. I was beautiful, I easily get things the way I want it. I pas the exams…barely…because I don’t study at all. I don’t even listen to the teacher. But still I pass. Girls, they started to talk behind me. Things like ‘She think she’s cute that she can graduate even without brains’ or ‘Who is she to think that she’s so beautiful having men fall on their knees in front of her.’” Said Sulli

“They’re quite rude.” Said Krystal.

“No…they were actually right. I didn’t know what effort was back then. In our highschool, we had a tutoring program where a senior will tutor a freshman who’s having problems with her studies. Heechul Oppa, he was the one assigned to me.” Said Sulli “He was on the graduating year when I was a freshman.”

“Oh…he’s the guy you liked?” asked Hara

“Yes…He’s the one. He was very kind. He took good care of me. But that only made matters worse. Oppa was the student council president and was the most popular guy in school. Of course women hated the idea that he’s always with me.” Said Sulli “But back then, I didn’t care that girls hated me. I was just happy whenever Heechul Oppa is around.”

“But he left right?” asked Suzy

“Yeah, before he even graduated, he left. One day we’re still laughing together at lunch, and then the next day he just left. And that’s when I realized how useless I was.” Said Sulli

Sulli had to stop. Memories flashing back.

“Since there is no longer anyone who would protect me, the girls started to talk in front to me of all the things they hate about me. That’s every day, different girls. A lot of them hated me.  I was really sad then…and angry why I can’t fight them. I can’t fight them…because what they all said are true.” Said Sulli

“Since then I started to listen to the teachers more. I started to study. I didn’t know I was good at it. Then I started to cover my face with my hair. Just so that nobody would take notice. I would sit at the back of the room so that nobody can pay attention to me. When I see a popular girl, I try to see what’s attractive on her and make sure I don’t have that. It was better to be ignored tha