Jessica sitting alone at damp apartment hallway, one middle man comes from stair, reek of alcohol. When he sees Jessica, he just groans and kicks Jessica leg out of his way. “Finally show yourself? I thought you finally dead and I finally can breathing without you!!”

Jessica just stay quiet and enter her ‘home’ with her drunkard father, the house really mess and trash anywhere. She want to stay with Tiffany at their own house but when she arrive, the house already gone and it’s seem destroyed by government. Sitting at rotten couch watching her father drink again, she didn’t have her own bedroom since her father used that for his own alcohol trash.

Suddenly her father turns around, “What did you glare for?! I really hate that look on your face!! Just like your mother!!! Did you know how much shame you put on me while you clubbing like a and never went home? You and your mother just like a sl*t!!”

Jessica standing out of anger at her father because he did not trash talk about her mother and because of him, her mother die. “Did you know how much shame that I must bear because of you drunk like idiot and sleep on trashcan?!!”

Her father hit her with empty bottle, Jessica hissed in pain because of this. She touch her head, there’s blood and her eye begin teary, “Went here…really wrong of me!!!” she run away from home without even bring anything, ignoring her father screaming at her.

Tomorrow afternoon, Kwon Yuri finally found Jessica father address from Tiffany, she went to the apartment alone. But what she got only shouting by Jessica father and it’s does seem Jessica not there because before she seen Jessica luggage at dumpster.

She took the luggage and brings it home with her and then she remembered Tiffany advice. “If she not at her father apartment, she must be at our ruins house…she really like that place!”

It’s raining hard and because traffic jam again, Yuri arrive nighttime. In there she found Jessica sitting under the rain, curled into ball. Quickly she took her umbrella and went to Jessica. “What are you doing here?” sensing Jessica won’t answer her, “Please come home, I was wrong and I’m sorry for hurting you! Please forgive me that hurting you! if my apologize not enough for you then you can decide without limit about the payment…”

Jessica lift up her head and glaring at Yuri, she just shoves Yuri away harshly and went to another spot, “Home? What do you know about home? Nothing! That’s palace is not my home because it’s your home!! That shady apartment not my home because I didn’t have anyone that I could call as family! This ruin is my home because I build it by myself…”

Yuri walk closer to Jessica and Jessica turn around to face Yuri, she shove Yuri shoulder harshly, “What you know?! You are born rich, with silver spoon placed at your mouth!! Someone that never wears anything without branded designer label!! Because of that you could use money like you drink water?!! So anything can be done by money? Is that what you want to say?!!! How wonderful and marvelous the world we live in?!! It's all about money!!!”

Each word she said it by giving push on Yuri shoulder when Yuri just standing there looking really guilty. She didn’t mean it that way but Jessica took it wrong way and somehow make Jessica mad.

“Don’t you know your face really make me sick? Because I hate everything and anything of you!!! So, don’t you dare to speak about family and home with me!!! Because you don’t even have any right to do that for me!! Because you just filthy rich person that treat anyone bellow that you as trash that only want money! That only know money!!”

Yuri stays there while Jessica turns her back at Yuri, walks away from Yuri. The rain continue pouring, slowly Yuri make her way to Jessica.

“Did you feel safe…at least even for a little moment when you with us?” Jessica just stay silent and refuse looking at Yuri, who slowly went closer to her and cover Jessica with her umbrella, “If you do feel at ease even just for a moment…it’s home, it’s your home. So, if you feel that way…please come home with me!”

“Also, I’m so sorry for being inconsiderate to you because I didn’t try hard enough to understanding you and make any effort to understand you better. If I know you hate…”

Jessica turn around to face Yuri, but something catch Yuri eye…the injured at Jessica head, softly she touch it.  But before Yuri could touch the injury, Jessica already swatted Yuri hands. “Why?!! Why you still care?! After I frame you, taunting you, mocking you down, even being mean to you?!! Just drop your act! Just say it, you disgusting of me and can’t wait to get rid of me!! You two faced human!!!”

Yuri about to say something but Jessica already cut her, “Leave now!!! I don’t want to see your face!! Leave!!!”

“I do admits that I confuse with Jaejoong, why she choose someone like you…who wild and rude also improper and so unmannered as his affairs. It confuse me so much with why she choose you meanwhile she could choose someone better than you…but I do realize why, he need someone who lively with passion on anything, freedom filled girl but still pure and innocent like you…so, I just accept it because of his reasons of why choosing you, Jessica-ssi! I never ever think you disgusting but I really think you a great person!”

“Come from his wife to his affairs that really convincing!”

Yuri just sighed, “I supposed I have to tell you this, to avoiding anymore misunderstanding…I didn’t love him, and he is like my oppa, close oppa that I see him nothing more than sibling. We didn’t even love each other but we must married because our family business. We didn’t even do our first night because that’s really awkward things to do!”

Jessica still disbelieve at Yuri words, Yuri know she must bring another card for this, “That’s why when he choose you as his affairs and that’s mean girl that he loves so much that make him dare to disobey his parents, my reaction is disappointment and disbelieve because why he didn’t tell me anything…not hostile act toward you. After all, he is oppa that I always protect when we still kids from bully or anything and yet he didn’t tell me anything about his affairs! Please believe in me, Jessica-ssi”

Jessica still stood there, slowly Yuri touch Jessica wounds, “Please come home, everyone already miss you so much. Umma and Shinyoung already prepare your favorite food and we could take care of your injury so…”

Yuri could finish her words because Jessica already hugging her tightly, while crying her heart out. Yuri just stood there and didn't know what to do, so she just let jessica hug her while she didn't hug her back. This is the first time, Jessica crying in front of someone that completely stranger to her. She didn’t understand why she could do that, but when she hugs her…she indeed feels warm and safe.

When you pass by my finger tips

Warmth spreads throughout

My cold heart

--  

I want to softly go

To you and lean on you

But the distance between

Us is not narrowing

I want to reach out

My hands and hold you

But it feels like we’ll get farther

Apart so I just linger around you

Jessica finally return home, Kwon mansion. They improved their relationship, friendlier than before. They are not fighting with each other anymore or act hostile toward each other. Jessica even speak softer to everyone, didn’t even use her harsh bitter words anymore.

When they eat dinner together, they didn’t fight over a meal but Jessica surprisingly put meat on Yuri plate. Yuri herself gives her favorite food for Jessica to taste it. Yuri will play piano for Jessica if she has some free times. That’s really seldom since Yuri couldn’t even finish her dinner properly because busy with her office.

They like a best friends but only as best friends. Best friend is the only thing that Jessica could get, even when she wants something more than that with Yuri. Just one thing that she’s selfishly yearns, which is Yuri.

At first she didn’t have any weird feeling and everything just ordinary day with Yuri, at first she didn’t mind being Yuri best friends. Yuri is the best ever friends that she could hope, she took a great care of Jessica and really concern about Jessica. And then…

She don’t know when but slowly her heart beating faster when she with Yuri, even imagine Yuri alone make her body feel warm and fuzzy, even by thinking about Yuri she could feel her cheek blushing, she feel giddy like high school girl with their first love with Yuri alone, she feel jealous whenever someone manage to steal Yuri attention from her.

They already staying together for 4 months now, the tummy already bigger and she know how happy Jiyoung when she see Jessica bloated tummy, even Yuri who never show big smile give Jessica her widest smile ever.

Whole family pampers and dotting Jessica, even somehow Yuri too pampering Jessica with her own subtle way. Every night she drinks milk that Yuri makes it for her, even if Yuri asks Shinyoung to bring it to Jessica room. In fact since beginning Jessica stay at her mansion, Yuri already making milk for Jessica and ask Shinyoung to keep it as secrets. Jessica found out after she asks Shinyoung about this, since she catches a glimpse of Yuri making something secretly.

Every Sunday Yuri will always spend some times for Jessica before she’s going with Taeyeon, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon for tennis or golf. Speak about Taeyeon, now Tiffany staying with Taeyeon after their house being destroyed by government, which also her girlfriend…if Taeyeon plan going well. Two lover birds that really in love with each other, somehow this manage to make Jessica jealous.

But only that, as a friend only and that’s a wall that Jessica found it hard to climbs.

Jessica wants to lean on Yuri when they watching movie together, but it’s awkward her so much since Yuri really stoic so she didn’t want to make things more uncomfortable between them anymore. Not to mention, they rarely sit close with each other since Yuri always choose her favorite couch. She also want to watching Yuri making her milk every night and morning likes a real lover in those movie scene, but Yuri herself didn’t want to show it.

Every morning before Yuri goes to office, she always makes sure to make milk and simple breakfast for Jessica. She also adds origami and inside the origami always have words of encouragement or sweet cute words. She didn’t get any chance to thanking Yuri because Yuri always went to office before she wake up and home when she already sleeping.

She also wants Yuri to touch her, even if Yuri only touches her stomach…she already fine with that. But Yuri never ever touch her, not even her pregnant stomach even Jessica already ask Yuri to feel the baby kicking but Yuri always have reason to escape.

When they know the baby is girl, they held small family party with Taeyeon and Tiffany, nothing extravagant since Jessica hate it so much. They planning the name and so on, but Yuri never ever took participant into naming her baby, Yuri just stand there and smiling looking at everyone. When Jessica asks Yuri opinion, Yuri always laugh and said that her name sense worse even beyond than worse.

If she force Yuri or even forcing herself to Yuri, she scare that Yuri will pull herself away from her. She scare that her action will scared Yuri, she scare that Yuri will avoiding her like when they for the first time when they meet. Scare that Yuri will go farther away from her. After all, who she kidding? Did Yuri like her in way that she loves Yuri?

“Did she still mad because I shout at her? Telling her that I hate her face? Ottoke? You really had a bad mouth and you must learn to control your mouth from now on Jessica Jung!!” Jessica mumbles to herself because like every morning and every night, she rarely meets Yuri because Yuri always busy. 

No, Yuri didn’t even think her more than friends. That’s why she will stay around Yuri as Yuri best friends and nothing more. Since she is greedy person and she wants Yuri as much as everything even though the only thing that Yuri could give to her is this friendship.          

--

It’s okay even if I can’t love you

It’s okay even if I can’t reach you

Lonely love Yes I love you,

Even from far away

I can see you

Like my destiny

I can feel you

“That ornament that…in her room, you know that one who broken when I run away from home, is that really expensive?”

Shinyoung who is accompany Jessica sunbathing look up from her gardening activity, “Which one?”

“That one that had coral on small bottle”

“Oh, that one! Not really expensive, but that’s really priceless for Miss Yuri! Since that’s ornament is something she got from her last freedom as chaebol daughter. It’s cheap but you couldn’t buy the memory and the freedom from that ornament”

Jessica look lost with Shinyoung explanation, “When her 7^th birthday coming, her parents ask her what she want and she want to see ocean, she never seen it before because all day along she really have packed schedule. She just want to play around for whole day but her parents only give her 1 hours to play and that’s that! So, she just collects the coral that she found with bit of white beach sand as reminder, that’s her last freedom!”

Guilty begins consuming her, “Yet, it’s broke because of me…”

Then, tomorrow morning, she brings Tiffany to the beach. Driving pink BMW that Taeyeon brought for Tiffany, they begin their journey. She didn’t want Yuri feel sad and losing the important memory of her childhood but she know she couldn’t completely bring the same ornament with the same memory or even substitute, but she want to try it.

She want to see Yuri smile, even just small little smile but that’s okay for her. It’s okay if Yuri couldn’t love her like how she love Yuri or she couldn’t love Yuri because of Yuri never understand her love. It’s okay if Jessica couldn’t reach Yuri more than best friends could reach out, but…just once, she want to see Yuri earnest smile with eye full with passion.

Night they finally home, yet Yuri didn’t even home yet. It’s already pass ten, yet Jessica still waiting for Yuri in her own room. Hearing Yuri door clicked, Jessica immediately went to Yuri, “Yuri-ah!” like a child, easily she excited by Yuri presence.  

Yuri just turned around and smile at Jessica, “It’s already night, you can’t sleep yet?”

Shaking her head, “No, I’m waiting for you so I could give you this! Please take this as my apology token!” she showing her own version of ornament, it’s ocean in a bottle. Jessica finally made it after spend more than hours searching around and she hope Yuri at least like it.

When she look at Yuri face, she finally see slight ‘life’ in Yuri eye and sincere smile that she rarely to see, this make Jessica stunned and so happy. The way her eye lifts up with passion even just a short moment but this is her accomplishment that she could proudly tell anyone.

“This present really beautiful and really likes I’m seeing ocean…in my hands! Thank you so much!” she bowing at Jessica, “But you got sunburn…did you wear proper clothes before you go?”

“It’s okay…I’m sorry that I already broke your precious ornament that…”

“No, it’s okay since I got lot prettier than the last one so you don’t have to feel sorry about that! Don’t worry, it’s okay! Also, I will treasure it since this one come from your sincere heart! That’s make this ornament far more important!” Yuri just smile at Jessica, “You should go to sleep now, you must be tired and a—!” Yuri phone ringing, she’s give apologetic smile at Jessica.

When Yuri phone ringing, Jessica really hate it when her phone ringing because Yuri will be busy and she will miss Yuri, spending time with her or even chatting about random things but since this past few day Yuri always busy with this new project they rarely spent times together.

“Yes, Sooyoung? Ah! That’s really troublesome! Okay, I will go to office now! You’re already there with Hyoyeon now and Taeyeon on her way? Okay! I will go now! Yes, I’ll bring you three some coffee! Hm, okay with food too!”

“Are you going to office?” Yuri nods while putting her coat away, “But this already night and you didn’t even rest…are you going to be okay? Did you already have your dinner?”

Yuri just smile at Jessica who really worries now, “Yes, don’t worry about me since this is nothing and I already eat something at lunch! So, that’s okay! You should rest now, it’s not good for pregnant woman to stay up late! Come on, sleep now! Thanks again for beautiful ornament, Jessica!”

Morning, Jessica wake up and slowly walking to dining room with her bloated tummy and her milk also cute duck origami already waiting for her. She just smiles at her morning surprise. Firstly she taste the milk and she notice one thing, “Shinyoung-ah, you make this one, right?”

“How could you know?”

Jessica just smile, even Yuri not there and far away from her…she just know it, she know Yuri care about her and she felt it with her heart. “Just because…just!” even though the milk not Yuri, she still drink it because Shinyoung always give report to Yuri about anything that Jessica drink. She knows it’s not Yuri because when Yuri makes the milk, it’s always so sweet but not literally but sweet in her heart and soft like marshmallow in her body.

“Yes, Miss Yuri orders me to make one since she couldn’t come home yet! But the origami stills her! Don’t worries, if new project comes this will happen! So don’t put that kind of sad face anymore because your baby might be sad too!”

--

My heart can reach you

Lonely love

Sunday morning when Jessica, Tiffany, and Jiyoung go to department store for women shopping time. Yuri, Taeyeon, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung had Sunday golf again. “Do you think this one will look good at Yuri?” Jessica showing one ties to Yuri, black with blue line and little hint of gold.

“That’s one is good but I prefer with pink one!” Tiffany showing three ties with pink color, “This will look perfect for my Taetae!! You only buy one for Yuri? Stingy!”

Jessica already calling Jiyoung with umma now since they become family, “Umma, will this one look good on Yuri?”

“Hm, she not that picky so anything that you give for her, she will accept it! Let’s buy for the baby too! Since Yuri always does her shopping alone so you shouldn’t worry much about her!”

Happily shopping till there’s one kid running but he slipped and bump into Jessica. Because that’s happen so sudden, Jessica lost her balance and fall to the ground. She hold her stomach and looks she really in pain because she gritted her teeth and holding herself from crying. From her leg there’s blood flows.

“What did you say?” couldn’t believe the doctor in front of her, Yuri decide to ask once again. When she’s get the news, Yuri rushing from golf court to the hospital in flash. Her mother-in-law already waiting for her and looks really pale.

“Yes, the baby is fine and healthy but the mother not…because the mother condition not allowed her to giving birth, no matter which method she will choose!” the doctor showing one image to Yuri, “Heart failure, her heart not strong enough for giving birth! The percentage to success of laboring almost same with miracle! Also, as you can see here, the heart…”

Yuri stops the doctor from rambling about medical things, “I don’t care about that, how? So she could alive and safe? How and what?! Just tell me that!”

The doctor just sighed, “Sacrificing the baby is the only way for the mother will save and alive! Abortion the baby…”

Jiyoung stand up and glaring at the doctor, “She will never ever having abortion! She couldn’t have the abortion, understand? She will have the baby!! Will the baby save or the baby will be okay, right?” the doctor slowly nods his head.

“Yes, the baby will survive but the mother wouldn’t! Because if she forcing herself for giving birth, her heart couldn’t support it and she will…”

Jiyoung just give relieve sigh, “That’s good then, as long as the baby is safe then…”

Yuri hit the table harshly, “If she keeps enduring this kind of condition she will die! Jessica wouldn’t survive! She will never survive to see her own baby or even hold her own baby! It’s no use if she’s death giving birth to her own daughter and the baby wouldn’t even have her own mother also her own father already death long before she could understand what happen with her family! Did you ever think how hard for her if she asked about her parents when she, herself never ever hears her own mother voice?! What will the baby feels if she seen her friends with their own parents when she never seen her parents when she grow up but from photograph?!”

Yuri turn to the doctor, “Please, can you give us some private moment?”

When the doctor leaves them, Yuri turns around to see her mother-in-law glaring at her. Their argument begins again, Jiyoung want Jessica keep the baby so she could have grandchildren and Yuri keep wanting Jessica do the abortion so Jessica could alive and also Yuri will hate it if the baby indeed survive but the baby have to grow up without her parents.

“You don’t know how it feels wanting to have grandchildren whom you couldn’t even given me one! I just want to have grandchildren, baby from Jaejoong! He already leaves me in this world…as long as I have his baby…”

Yuri slamming the door with her fist, “What you do is making Jessica joins your son into his graveyard only for your own selfish desire without thinking Jessica safety! Without even thinking the future of Jessica baby!! I won’t allow you to kill Jessica! She deserves to know everything about this and decide what best for her!!”

When Yuri about to reach Jessica hospital room, her mother roughly grabs her and shoves her against the wall. “Don’t you dare to do that!! Don’t you dare Kwon Yuri!! You already hurt me enough because your lack attention to Jaejoong and also you unable to give me grandchild!!” she glaring at Yuri which Yuri just stunned because of her mother-in-law behavior that really change. Her mother-in-law enter the room with big smile despise bad news she heard.

Yuri couldn’t even enter the room without showing her guilty, so she just stands outside and leaning on the wall. She could hear her mother-in-law said that Jessica is fine and could go home now. Because of her mother-in-law, Jessica didn’t notice Yuri right beside her when she out her room. She’s just right behind Jessica when they are walking and talking about what to do tonight. But Yuri couldn’t even move her body because unknown reasons, she feel she couldn’t face Jessica, not now…

How could she show her face that look about to cry to Jessica, she will worried and asking her many things, yet she don’t and will never have the answer for all those question. How could she face her and talk to her, because all she can make is just lies for her mother-in-law selfish desire that will sacrifice Jessica and also the baby.

“Yes, I hope Yuri could get home earlier because I can’t wait to show her ties that we buy! I really hope she will like it!”

She just stands there looking at Jessica back till she couldn’t see it again, “Yuri-ssi…I guess, I should tell you now” the earlier doctor standing in front of Yuri with his remorse expression and Yuri swear she will hate this doctor if he give her another bad news, “I’m scare that Jessica-ssi couldn’t get into laboring stage because it’s not impossible that her heart suddenly give up on her…”

Yuri just laugh emptily, she want to cry and she just want to bawl her heart out right here and now, but nothing comes out from her but empty dry laugh, she throw her eye to walls because she unable to see the doctor without any intention to hit the doctor. Biting her own lip till she could taste her own blood, her eyes already red and bit teary.

“Why are you telling me this? Now what should I do? Oh god…why you are so cruel with me? What did I do wrong…what did she do wrongs? What should I do?”

-------------

To be continue

How's this chapter? Good enough? Lot of misatek on spelling? Of course...

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