A/R:Heyyyy giys. Yeah so another update. Heee okeybye. Im sorryyyyy and i love you guys so strongggg.

The bell rings and Milly lazily drags her feet away from the detention class. Today, she had a detention because she were caught sleeping in class. Normally, the teacher would settle for standing outside as a punishment with both hands raise up. Dongho didn’t come to class today and he also has been missing the normal work out for trainees. She wonders what happen to her. In class, normally Dongho and her would keep each other preoccupied to prevent from both of them fall asleeps.

The training after school is taking tolls on both of them that they tend to doze off in the middle class. The different thing for her brother, he is as fit as ever. Well maybe also because Dongho , her and the non-singer trainee is having intense training month on dancing. So yeah. Maybe. Just maybe.

Probably saeng knows I need the nap. Thanks for the detention saeng. I have the nicest nap ever.

“Oi, lazyass. Come on quick,”

She raises her head and her eyes naturally turns crescent as she sees a familiar black van fills with idiots. i mean 2PM.

“LAZYBUM BUM. RUN!” Jaybeom shouts again.

She could only grins in response. “You do know it’s kinda offensive to girls to point out her physical insecurities,” Then, she boards the black van.

“Why are you insecure about your uhm?” Junsu stops himself and eyes her up and down sheepishly.

“Hyung, did you just body scan me?” Milly says in accusing tone playfully.

Oblivious to her playfulness, he quickly clears his throat. His hands quickly wavers left and right, trying to explain himself.

“Jun, you are that ert huh?” Jay teases him.

“No, uhm no. I mean I, uh forget it,” Junsu gives up and looks towards the other aside.

Simultaneously, Jay and Milly snickers. After that Milly greets everyone in the car. 2PM’s manager as the driver, Wooyoung beside him. In the middle row, Jay sits with Milly while Junsu is sitting with Taecyeon is in behind row.

Turn out they just got back from a radio recording. The other half of 2PM is having another variety show recording thus explains the absence. Since the other member of Milly's group already back at headquarters, Jun Lee ask 2PM to pick her up on the way back JYP hq.

Milly looks behind her. Junsu is still somewhat sulking while Taecyeon is busy staring out of the window, ignoring her like she is some kind of a pest. Milly feels hurt at his treatment but could only shrug off the feeling.

“Whats up with Beast hyung?” Milly whispers to Jay.

Jay blushes a bit the sudden proximity. “Uhm, he was fine just now. Don’t know what hit him,”

Milly could only nod in response then she glances at Junsu who was still trying hard to ignore her glances. She grins and message Junsu.

-Junsu hyung, are you still mad at me?-

-NO-

-SHOUTY CAPITALS!-

-WHAT?-

-Hehee.I’m sorry. I was just teasing you-

-I will accept ur apology if you give me a lunch box full of handmade egg roll-

-Ah,Jay hyung tells you huh-

Milly grins then glares at Jay. Jay who was watching her , blinks innocently shocked by the sudden eye-attack. Then, she smiles and Jay quickly mouths BIG BUM. She pretends like she wants to hit Jay and Jay raises his chin like asking for a fight.

-Jay has quite a big mouth if you didn’t noticed already-

-couldn’t missed it if I want to.LOL-

-so when can I get my eggroll-

-oh geez. Bye not talking to you-

-well technically you are not talking to me, you are texting me-

Milly literally facepalms at Junsu’s reply. She is sure by the end of this month, all 2PM gonna ask them to cook lunchbox for them. Geez,these idiots.

The roads going back fills in with short karaoke-ing competition. Wooyoung decides to pretend to doze off while Taecyeon stays quiet. It was all one-against-one until Jaybeom decides it was fun to tags team with Junsu go against with Milly. Not giving up, Milly still sings though she doesn’t know the lyric well. In the end, Wooyoung join Milly and go against Junsu-Jay team.

 As the van stops in front of JYP hq, Milly is the first person that literally jumps out from the van.

"YAH PUNK. CAN'T YOU AT LEAST ONE TIMES NOT BE SO RECKLESS," Taecyeon screams out as he rolls down the window.

Milly looks back and smiles brightly. "So the devil speaks,"

"DID U JUST CALLED ME DEVIL?" Taecyeon screams again.

Milly snickers and stick out her tongue, "Thanks for the ride hyung,"

"So, bro you are worried over her? " Jaybeom nudges Taecyeon's shoulder with his.

Taecyeon only glares back. 

"Geez, no need to get your knickers into a twist," Jaybeom teases and only laughs as he sees Wooyoung and then manager clueless expression.

"Taec, I dont think you have to be so stern. She is just a kid," Junsu defenses Milly.

"Because of she is just a kid I'm worr-, ahh so sleepy," Taecyeon quickly stops himself with a fake yawns before he could say he is worry.

"Damn, nearly caught you said you worry," Jaybeom laughs.

Taecyeon could only grunts, annoyed by Jaybeom. He closes his eyes and leans to the lift wall as they enter one.

"You are tired hyung?" Wooyoung asks Taecyeon, oblivious to the situation.

Taecyeon sighs while Jaybeom continues to snickers.

"Eyy, where are you going hyung? " Wooyoung asks Junsu he sees Junsu goes off to the practice floor where trainees usually practice.

"I'm going somewhere," Junsu only waves as the lift takes off.

Jaybeom continue to laugh only this time it is louder and again Taecyeon grunts.

"CHOI EMILLIE WHY YOU LATE?" the voice coach asks sternly.

"Urm I got detention?" Emillie replies as innocent as possible. She realizes he never wants the reason wheneve she did wrong. All he wants from her is apology. At first she always tries to fight him back, to prove that she is wrong then she realizes whenever she fights back, the team always got stricter lesson. In the end, she gives up and stick to being innocent and says sorry as much as possible. 

I dont like singing!! My voice sounded terrible. Why he keeps on asking me to sings ballad. He knows what I'm good at, rapping. Fast rapping to be exact. Well in English and Mandarin of course. I'm still working on Koreans pronunciation. 

Sometimes she only comes here to recite traditional Korean poem, idioms, quotes and all that jazz. She doesnt sees the benefits in these but nevertheless she follows. And whenever she actually practice vocals, she only trains in ballads.

"Dude, come one warm up for dancing," Eric smacks her back.

She winces in pain and smirks. She doesnt remember walking to the dancing practice room. 

"Girl, why am I here?" She asks Eric.

"Boy, I drag you here. Go on and warm up," Eric again smacks her back.

"Domestic violent!" She screams at his ear and quickly stands up before Eric can again smacks her back.

Eric smirks and only sits down. Eric then wraps his ankle with a bandage.

"Why with your ankle?" To she is trying to feign her worriness by strecthing up her necks, he can see her thorugh.

"I fell down by the stairs. No biggie. I'm a big girl," Eric says casually.

"Dude did you just call yourself a girl?" Hiro interrupts as he finally finishes warming up.

"Arent we all are? Especially JinAh " Eric smirks.

Give it to his brother to give lame awkward jokes. Well, I guess it runs in the blood. Tehee.

Hiro only raises his eyebrow and offers Eric a hand, "Come on big girl,"

Eric gladly takes his the former hand. 

Milly stares silently at Eric's limping leg. She bets on her dancing skill he does not fell off the stairs. Must be the idol-wannabe gang that disturbs him. She sometimes hate herself for being a girl,for being weak, for always his big brother to protect her. All she could do for him is to cook his favorite food to cheer him up. Thats explains her attitude in being a tomboy. Trying to man up. 

"Choi Emillie, your steps are too quick!" Jin Guk calls her out.

Yikes , I just go on autopilot again.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better," Milly  bows and quickly fixes the steps that she missed.

This time, the time didnt feels being drag on to Milly and she didnt go on autopilot like she did in singing practice.

"I goes to the bathroom first!" Jin Ah quickly catwalks to the toilet as they enter their dorm.

"Damn, Min didn't I ask you to calls the shower first," Hiro says then lays down on the floor. All sweaty from the practice.

"But I'm still sweating, move aside leader," Min softly shoves Hiro aside and lays down besides him.

"Oh well just wake me up whenever she is finish," Hiro says and closes his eyes.

"I did not shower that long," Jin Ah shouts back.

"YOU DO!" Simultaneously, Hiro, Min, Eric and Milly shouts back.

Jin Ah shouts back, " I DON'T!!" And she slams the toilet door.

"I'm still surprised the door of your toilet is intact. Doesnt she did that everytime she enters the toilet?" Hiros says with his eyes closes.

Min shrugs nonchalantly and also closes his eyes. This is the second week, they have to share toilet since the boys toilet somewhat broke down and the plumber has yet to come. Imagine in the morning, endless banter between Hiro and Jin Ah of fighting the toilet first, and Min dragging Milly to the toiletwith Milly's reason, "I dont need to bath, too cold, save water,"

Milly nudges Min's soles with her toefingers playfully.

"Milly" Min mutters lowly.

"Ops," Milly grins and goes to Eric who is unwrapping the bandages on his ankle.

Milly grabs the hot oil and massages it around his ankle. " You didn't fall off the stairs right?" She whispers.

Milly then stares at Eric.

Eric just smiles and,"Put some strength into your massage, ah just like that"

Milly complies to his need, "It is the idol wannabe right that disturbs you?"

Eric ruffles her hair in response. "Thanks for the wonderful massage, Mil"

Giving up, she continues to masages his ankle in silent.

After one hour, Jin Ah finally finishes her shower. Milly throws a small pillow to wake up Hiro. Hiro wakes up in bad mood but he quickly goes for his shower.

Later that night, Milly couldnt sleep no matter how she tosses herselft on the bed. Maybe the fact that she keeps on thinking about she wanting to quit JYP, the tiredness from her physical is getting her mentally, She ends up calling for Dongho for a late night snack. 

After a long ring, finally Dongho pick up the call.

"Hey Dongho, I can't sleep,"

"And is that supposed to be my problem?!" Dongho suddenly snaps.

"I'm sorry. I just thought I wanna ask you out on late night snack like always, on me. I'm sorry. I'll just go back in sleep," Milly utters her words in flash and quickly hangs up.

Milly rolls on the sofa and slams her face on the sofa. Then her phones vibrates indicating the a message just come in. Milly stares at her phone, contemplating whether to check. Another second , the phone buzz again indication another incoming messages.

-sorry.just settles out some personal problem. Finally get to rest. Sorry cant go out today-Dongho

-and please dont think on going out alone. Ill sing you to sleep-Dongho

Milly could only smirk disbelieving the amount of confidence of he have. 

-I rather not seoul raining cats n dogs tonight. Sorry callg u. I miss out our late night snacking.and I guess your personal problem explains your mia in school-

-damn.you sound like my mum now.I missed it too.got things to sort out now.probably will be in schools tomorrow. Might came only half day-Dongho

-okay son.well, err im here if u wanna lend extra ear and shoulder. Take care dongho,night-

-the amount of love im receivg from Choi Emllie today.i must hv save the nation in my past lives.kay, night. Take care. And im serious about warning u not going out all alone. You still a girl-Dongho.

You still a girl. That tips her off. Oh Son Dongho I'm so going out tonight. Feeling like a spy, she grabs her black sweater and sneakers, of course goes out.

After 45 minutes of jogging aimlessly along the Han river, she quits. It doesnt feel the same without Dongho. Dongho always finds a way to keep both of them entertained. Even the ddeoboki stall that we always goes to closed. After exactly 10 minutes of sitting by the riverbank, she finally feels sleepy and she decides to go back. 

Shortcut, no? Any weird drunkard is not going to appear out of nowhere right? Like in the typical korean drama. Okey that tickles. If I'm the heroine. Who is the hero? Taecyeon. WAIT,WHERE DID I0THAT COME FROM. HA HA HA.NOT FUMNY AT ALL. CHOI EMILLIE. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. OHMY DID I JUST PASS TWO DRUNKARDS SUCCESFULLY?

Emillie never thought she could be so scared on going out all alone but she was wrong. Alone and dark alley. Bad combination but somehow she pass a two drunkards successfully. Maybe the way she walks, she sometimes to walk hunching, with feet wide open like a true sergeant. Maybe she seems like a guy at that point.

"Oi, stops there," a drunk-ish voice calls out.

She didn't stop and instead she increasing her walking pace.

"Oi, I was talking to you, you stupid boy. you respect your elders," The drunk ahjushi manages to catch her and grab her by her hoodie.

"Yes sir," She lowers her voice so he could sound like a boy.

"Oi, guys. It's a pretty boy. He is so pretty I mean he could be a girl. Oi, guys," He says as he touches her cheeks and gestures with his free friend to join him. Two more drunkard ahjushi comes near.

"Really, he is pretty," The second drunkard ahjushi pats her head. "Oi, his hair is very soft. Touch this," The third drunkard ahjushi joins and grab her shoulders now.

Trying to stop herself from shaking, she grips her hand in a fist until she can feel her nails cut deep into her palm. She tightens her fist.

"Oi, even his shoulders is very small," 

"Let me go, please," Milly manages to croak out.

"What a bad boy like you doing outside all alone. Its a sad thing you are a boy. Well probably cuz you are a boy your mum let you out in what 2 in the morning?"

"Hyung, I think it is a girl. Lets feel his chest. He is to pretty to be a boy,"

At this Milly really wish she is a guy, even with her strength that she build up in her taekwando time, she still couldnt shake off the three of these drunkard ahjushi. It doesnt help that she shaking badly in this situation. The memories of her nearly being in her childhood day is entering her mind. 

,not now.

“Come play with uncle. Don’t run away,” He said to Emilie.

“I don’t want. Please let me go” Her eyes started to became teary. “Please uncle” She pleaded. “Taec oppa, why are you not here?”

“Come play with uncle. Uncle will gives you pretty gown. Uncle will gives you lollipop. You like lollipop, right?” He said as he touched Emilie’s thigh. She shivered.

“I don’t like lollipop. Not good for my teeth. Taec oppa don’t go holiday.” She cried.

“ Don’t cry little girl. Not pretty.” He said as he pulled off her gown. He tore the gown on her shoulder.

“Stop! Stop! Taec oppa! Eric gege! “ She screamed her lung out.

Their hands is starting to feels up Milly's upper body while still struggling to free from their grasp with all her strength despite the situation is scaring the hell out of her.

"Mil, my dongsaeng. Ahjushi, thank you for you founding my brother," She never thought that voice will sooths her out.

Awat from the drunkards's grasp, she is held in his warmth's, Taecyeon's.

She quickly cling to Taecyeon's body and grip her hand as strong as possible. She hides her face into his jacket.

"Eyyy are you sure this is your brother. He seems like a sister to me. Right guys,” Roars of laughter echoes in the small alley.

Taecyeon let out a small laugh and hug her tightly with one arm, “Ah, from little people has mistaken him for a girl for his petite body and jumpy attitude. I’m apologize for any inconvience. Dongsaeng come on, let’s get home. Eomma is not mad at you anymore,” Taecyeon pats her head with his other free hand.

“I have to leave. Thanks again,”

“Sure~” They slurs simultaneously.

“Ey, come on guys let a real girl with a real curver. You know big , big s. Wehuu,”

“Yeahh, let’s go,”

“Wehhhuuuu, a go go go go,”

Taecyeon watches until they leaves, then only he looks down at Milly. She looks paler than usual. The shaking has decreases somehow but the grip around his body hasn’t.

“Hey, they are gone,” Taecyeon whispers and pats her head.

“Oh, w-wait. P-please just let me stay like this for a while.”

Taecyeon pats her head in response and tighten his hug. He can feel Milly’s hearbeat that was racing hard against his slowly slowing down. But his heart is not slowing down any minute. He hopes she can hear it.

“Uhm, Taecyeon hyung. You uhm can let me go n-now,”Milly clears .

“Yeah, uhm sure. Sorry,” Taecyeon reluctantly let her go. 

Milly take a small steps away from him. She fixes her hoodie while staring at her sudden interesting sneakers.

"Uhm, thanks for everything," MIlly manages not to stutters.

“What are YOU doing outside in 3 in the morning? Can you TRY NOT to be so DAMN reckless? ITS REALLY DANGEROUS TO FOR A GIRL LIKE YOU TO BE OUTSIDE?” Taecyeon starts to shouts as he speaks.

Milly grits her teeth in frustration. All the thankful and grateful managed to disperse into thin air as she heard the word girl. “WHY IS IT AM I A GIRL? I CAN DO A LOT OF THING. WHY IT IS AS A GIRL I ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO PROTECT ME. WHY?” Milly didn’t even realises tears has form at the brim of her eyes.

“BECAUSE THAT’S THE USED OF MAN OR BOY. TO PROTECT OF YOU GIRLS. IF I WERENT HERE GOD KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. I’M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING,”

“Really Taec oppa? You are supposed to protect me from everything? And where were you w-when I was about to r- by that a-ahjushi. W-where were y-you when e-every kid w-was staying away from me b-because of that incident. You were s-supposed to protect me and you d-didn’t. I w-was scared oppa. I was f-fricking scared to death. I c-called out y-your name b-but you d-didn’t c-came,” The tears is starts to pour heavily on her cheek. She tries to take a deep breath to calm herself down but it is too late she is now crying badly until she starts to hiccups.

“I’m sorry okay. I’m ing sorry. I was a stupid and naïve kid. I’m sorry Milly,” Taecyeon starts to take a step forward towards Milly only for her to take steps backward away from him.

“It is kinda too late oppa. Y-you made me believe and y-you broke my trust. Y-you turn me into like this. I d-don’t wanna be a girl. A g-girl is helpless, a w-weakling human. Always n-need to be p-protected by another person. I can’t do this. I c-cant do that,”

“You know that’s not totally true. You are strong as a girl even when you were little,”

“S-stop trying to sugarcoat me. I’m not a 5 years of kid anymore,”

“But now, you are acting like one. Listen to me Milly-ah. Do you remember when we three play by the pool-“

“The part where I try to save because of your fake-drown and right now I’m afraid of water thanks to you,” At this point Milly has stops crying and only bitter saliva she feel in mouth. She could barely swallow her saliva. Her eyes hurt for attempting to stop crying.

“But you were strong, you were always strong and persistent. You always convinced me to do things beyond my limit though I always end up in accident where everything, somehow ended up traumatizing you in the end. Yeah for that I’m sorry,” Taecyeon blushes and rubs his neck sheepishly.

“I hate you, you know that,” Milly cracks a small grin as she remembers all the crazy things she force Taecyeon to do because of her curiosity. Though in the end, yeah like Taecyeon said it traumatized her until the end. Which brings back to the point she blames for being a girl.

“Well, uhm the fact that you fears a lot of , you know the normal things that would fear. Well, for once Nickhun dislikes avocado. He can’t even see a picture of avocado. And well Jessica of SNSD she hates cucumber so much that would literally kill anyone that with that. And well Junsu hyung is afraid of coackroach. And well the list could go on and on, but believe is not about uality. I guess its about the environment you grow up with. It forms you into well you are here now. But of course you still can’t go out alone 3 in the morning for the obvious reason. The r-ra uhm. Well have you ever heard man files case for a r case. They don’t Do you get it?”

Milly can only stares at him. Slowly she is digesting everything. She always know the form of being a tomboy is a just a form to protect herself as a strength for herself. To remind herself her fears, it’s not about her uality. It’s just somewhat her fate to be scare of technically anything.

“You understand me right?” Taecyeon asks again.

Milly raises her head and instantly she stumbles backward as she just realized that Taecyeon is an inch away from her face. Taecyeon quickly grabs her and pull her against his chest. “Milly, please be careful. And don’t be reckless okay. I thought you could at least outgrow your reckless daredevil when you grew up but you still don’t huh. Still stubborn too I see,” Taecyeon smiles as he notices Milly blushing.

“Uhm, y-yeah,” Milly could only responses that. She really hate it when Taecyeon is always right. Back then in childhood, Taecyeon always try to point out her right from wrong for her daredevilness. Of course, Taecyeon always fail to stop her and in turn joining her to do the impossible well in turn traumatized. Karma hit like a huh.

“Are you okay? I mean the drunkard didn’t managed to do anything to you right?” Taecyeon pulls her away only to look at her in the eyes.

She shakes her head timidly. “No, they didn’t managed to d-do anything. Thanks for saving hyung,”

“What we are back to hyung. Milly I demand you to call me Taec oppa,” Taecyeon nearly pouts as he says that.

Taecyeon looks very adorable to her but he doesn’t have to know that. “You look ugly pouting,” Milly says while trying to free herself from Taecyeon’s grip.

“Hey, the fans like it when I pout. They are screaming like ahjumma on year-end-sale,” Taecyeon loosen his grip on Milly and let her stand on her own.

“Mean idol,”

Taecyeon smirks at Milly’s retorts. “Come on, let’s get back to dorm okay? I’ll send you,” Taecyeon pats Milly’s head.

Milly blushes and nods.

“Hand,” Taecyeon grabs Milly hand and hug it like how father does in sending her daughter to the wedding altar.

“Your hands are cold Milly,”

“It is freezing you idiot,” Milly blushes again, now with the skin contact.

“I’m your idiot right. The only one right?”

“Of course, I don’t know any sane person want to be an idiot,.Ouch, hey,” Milly whines as her forehead got flicks by Taecyeon.

“I remember you always ask me to marry you after we saw that sappy love movie,” Taecyeon smirks.

“I only did that after you proposed me to marry you with a banana. And I was 5, okay? Idiot,” Milly scolds him and only let herself to be pulling closer towards Taecyeon as she can feel the cold weather is hitting her.

"Milly," Taecyeon suddenly stop walking and stares at her.

"Y-yes?" 

"How are you?" Taecyeon stares at her so intense to the point that she thinks that he can read her minds

"I'm fine, I think. I'm here," Milly gestures to her body.

"Well, you definitely are still short," Taecyeon puts a his hand above her head indicating her shortness then laughs and casually back to holding her hands.

"Hey, you are the one that had massive growth spurt okay? I happen to be tall for a girl of my age,"

"So you admit you are a girl, huh?"

"Shut up, you giant," Milly snarls.