"Baekhyun...are you listening?" Yun hesitantly leaves a message for the boy after her call failed to get through, "I'm...I'm not sure..." her voice cracks a little, "I don't know what my dream is anymore...I need your help, please. I want to sing, and I want to lose weight...but the one person I wanted to become pretty and sing for...was you. I really can't lose any more weight and I don't like singing in front of a massive audience."

She sighs deeply into the phone, "Please...I won't force you to like me or anything. Can't we just be friends again? I really miss you."

On the other side of the line, Baekhyun pauses momentarily, letting Yun's words sink in to his brain as he listens to her recording after choosing not to pick up the call. She only lost weight and agreed to join the company so that she could...impress me?

In a burst of anger, Baekhyun picks up the phone just as Yun was preparing to end the message she was leaving, "...Give up."

Yun's entire body grows cold at the two short words, freezing her into place as she clutchs the phone with tight fingers, "What?"

"I said give up," Baekhyun repeats himself, "Stop trying to fit everything that is you into a tiny square box which you don't enjoy inhabiting - especially if you're doing it for me."

Yun bites on her nail to stop the frustrated tears, "Byun Baekhyun you don't understand anything! Stop pretending to be all high and mighty. Do you really want me to stop what I'm doing? Fine. But just know that I will never do anything for your sake ever again." With that, Yun disconnected the phone call and allowed the tears she had been storing in her eyes to run down her cheeks.

Immediately, 'B.Bacon' calls back, but she ignores the sound of her ringtone. Strangers throw the girl quick, judgmental glances at the way the girl's large body slumps lifelessly in front of the SM building.

Why does he try to convince me that my efforts were useless?! I don't understand! I did everything I could to make him notice me...and now that he does seem to like me a little bit, he keeps saying it's not because of me becoming prettier. Why is he trying to make me feel like a failure, when he clearly felt threatened by Jongin's interest in me after my appearance changed?

I just want him to feel something for me, and I'm sure he does - he just doesn't understand the feelings himself because I was always the fat, ugly best friend who couldn't possibly become anything more. I'm sure he feels something for me though. I'm sure...

An email promptly alerts Yun after a few missed calls from Baekhyun, and she opens the message to find that Baekhyun has written her an essay-length electronic mail:

Yun,

Please don't be angry. I only wanted you to stop trying to change yourself for my sake.
I'll admit that I am a conceited person - You are charming, kind, talented and intelligent. But the only reason I befriended you in the beginning was because we were both fat. We shared the same pains and understood each other. But when I lost weight, I still remained as a friend to a fat girl, because I wanted to play hero and I couldn't bear to let her go for my own reasons. I'll admit I couldn't show her proudly to my friends and family - she was special to me, but she was also excluded from everyone else. I felt like she could only have me; I felt like I had to be her prince.

But princes don't save and marry the damsel in distress - that's a knight's job. A prince is simply an ideal; an illusion. I am a coward under my facade.

I thought your dream was to become a singing star, shining for the world and having fans scream your name. So when I heard that you did not want any of that - I was both frustrated and happy. 
Happy, because your dream was me and only me. You did not care for fame, or money, or becoming the centre of attention. I was too blind to realize this. But I was frustrated, because I am the only one you want, yet I want you for reasons much more selfish than love.

If you still want to sing, please sing for me. I promise I will listen to your voice until my ears grow calloused. I will applaud your songs until my palms are rubbed raw. However, I cannot be your lover.

So please, please stop loving me so honestly and dearly - I cannot return these feelings.

Baek.

Yun could not bring herself to shed any more tears. 

At that moment, she finally understood, and her legs gave out underneath her.

Byun Baekhyun has been her childhood and teenage obsession. She blindly chased after him, stalking his shadows. Although she had dreamed and hoped for his love, she never took the time to wonder whether he would ever come to truly like her the way she liked him. She was his fan - his friend which he saved from loneliness and misery, but she could never be his equal, because their feelings didn't match from the beginning.

And then Yun made her decision - she can't stop loving him immediately, but she can stop trying to do a job she only wanted in order to be closer to him. She does not want to become a barbie doll attached to an idol company with invisible puppet strings. She wants to be an individual who can love and hate and sing and eat without sasaeng fans following her and watching her.

My dream was never to be a celebrity.

My dream is to work beside my love; beside my friends. As an equal, and as a respectable person. 

Music is my dream; but blinding stage lights and heavy make up is not a part of that dream.

Days pass by in a blur...Yun quit training as an SM artist, while EXO is busy promoting in several different time zones.

Lee Soo Man was outraged when Yun wanted to withdraw herself from the company, and had thrown a few things out of anger inside his own office.

'Please' and 'they'll give you more time' and 'what do you want' spewed from the mouth of the CEO's secretary, as their futile attempts to keep Lee Yun under the SM label was rejected one by one.

On the day EXO arrived back in Incheon and then Seoul for the first time that month, Yun was there to welcome the boys back to their dorms.

"Yun!" a tired Baekhyun slumps into the girl's arms for a loose hug as soon as the boys step into their dorm, "Have you been eating well? Sleeping well?"

"I missed all of you so much!" her answer addresses the group, but her eyes only look at Baekhyun. "I've managed to gain back 2 kilograms thanks to your evil photos of delicious-looking Chinese cuisine."

Slinking into the dorm behind Baekhyun and dodging the reunited couple grumpily, was Kim Jongin with his hands tucked into his pockets.

It still tore at Jongin's heart to see Yun staring at Baekhyun with blatant adoration that bordered on obsession from an outsider's point of view. He knew that they were still not entirely comfortable with one another, but the previous phase of no-speaking had passed, and everything was more or less back to normal.

So where does that leave me? Jongin thought to himself, watching Yun as she watches Baekhyun...I am the outsider. Someone who sees and hears everything; but understands nothing, and is able to comment on nothing.

But Jongin refuses to remain an outsider to Yun. Afterall - what Baekhyun had said about the two dating had been a lie, right? That means Jongin has the freedom to love Yun, right?

"Are you two like, together?" Sehun grumbles as he walks past after Jongin, not knowing the complicated relationship between Yun and Baekhyun.

"Shut up, you're ruining the moment," Jongdae smiles as he drags the younger away into the kitchen.

"He's right though," Tao whines, "stop showing off your good relationship with Yun! I feel all lonely now...Sehun, shower with me tonight!" he pouts at the youngest, "I don't want to be all alone..."

"Can't you grow up for once?" Sehun sighs, ironically mocking Tao despite his inferior age.

"You two are the real ones that look like a couple," Jongdae makes a reappearance from the kitchen, his face stuffed with kimbap.

"Where did you get the food?!" Tao makes a beeline for the kitchen, and Jongin tags along behind him - avoiding the awkwardly fidgeting Baekhyun and Yun. His face immediately lights up as soon as he sees who is making the kimbap rolls,

"Kyungsoo! Yixing! You both know that I love you, right?!" Tao dramatically wipes a non-existence tear away from his dark eye bags, before proceeding to eating every single piece as soon as Kyungsoo cuts it from the roll.

Jongin pats the elders on the head fondly, stuffing a piece of kimbap into his mouth too.

"Yun," Kyungsoo calls out loudly, "are we going to make kimchi jiggae for lunch?"

But the older boy receives no response, and so Jongin saunters back into the living room, reluctant to think that Baekhyun and Yun were enjoying alone time together for too long.

Upon seeing Yun laughing happily at Baekhyun's jokes, however, Jongin feels a sudden rise of emotion inside of him. Why was Baekhyun keeping Yun so close to him and making her misunderstand that she might have a chance, when in fact he doesn't even care for her?

"Yun," Jongin walks up angrily to the pair, "I have something to tell you, can you come with me for a second?"

"What is it, Jongin?" Yun makes a move to get up from the couch, but Baekhyun suddenly grabs her hand, forcing her back down onto the cushioned seat.

"Just talk here," he eyes Jongin warily.

Fine, he wants me to talk here? I'll talk here. Jongin resolutely squares his shoulders. "Lee Yun," he speaks clearly and confidently although his hands shake with nervousness, "I like you."

The entire dorm grows silent, until the sound of Yixing's spoon dropping from his hand clanks against the kitchen counter.

"...Will you...will you accept my feelings?"

Yun stutters, "Jongin...I..."

"Didnt I warn you?" Baekhyun suddenly bursts through the tense silence, "I told you, Lee Yun is mine. Do you not understand?"

"Baekhyun...don't..." Yun clutches at his arm while silent tears begin to moisten her eyes, "you can't...he...Jongin..."

"What, so now you're taking his side?!" Baekhyun huffs in exasperation and disbelief. "Lee Yun do you really love me? Or is Kim Jongin too good of a catch to let go of?" 

"I'm sorry Baekhyun, I'm really sorry. I'm such a selfish person." Yun averts her eyes away, whispering, "I feel sorry towards both of you...I don't deserve either of you, really."

In fact, Yun feels exactly like Baekhyun. She doesn't love Jongin, but she doesn't want to lose him as a friend either. She's torn between the boy she loves but doesn't love her back, and the boy who loves her but she only loves as a friend.

Because of all this, she can understand Baekhyun perfectly - yet at the same time, she can't have the best of both world. She can't continue to play dumb to Jongin's feelings when he so blatantly announces them like that, and she can't always take the middle path wedged in between Baekhyun and Jongin.

"...Uh...Ahem," Tao breaks the icy moment with a nervous clearing of his throat, "I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but Kyungsoo just said he isn't coming home to cook because you guys put him in a bad mood...so what are we going to eat? I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

"Baekhyun, Jongin, you guys cook for everyone," Kris decides with an authoritative air. "I won't tolerate fighting in this group. Make up while you cook."

"I'll...I'll help then," Yun bows her head apologetically while rising from her seat.

"No, Yun," Kris' words have a tone of finality to them, "you'll just make things more complicated, so I hope you can go back home for today."

"I...I understand."

A/N: So does this make BaekYun impossible? Is Yunkai official now? Stay tuned for more next week <3