Because

Overweight, yet Loving You

Yun's eyes grow to the size of ping pong balls while drops open in utter shock and complete horror. "W-w-wa-what?!" she finally manages one shocked word after a long string of indiscernible stutters.

 

A low chuckle answers her boiling cheeks, and the normal Jongin returns, leaving flirtatious, teasing man behind, "I was just kidding! It'll cost you a fortune to lay hands on South Korea's to-be most hotly demanded idol star!"

Slightly disappointed but more relieved than anything else, Yun smacks him as hard as she could on the arm, "Yah! That's not funny! Imagine if someone else heard what you just said! No, imagine if an EXO member heard 'touch me'!" Yun pauses, horrified at her thoughts, "or even worse...what if Baekhyun heard you?"

"Calm down," Jongin chuckles, "there's no one here," he glances around the room and checks the open door twice between shifting his eyes back to stare at Yun. "Why are you so afraid that Baekhyun might hear and misunderstand anyway?"

"...Just..." she searches for a passable answer, "he's my best friend, you know. It'll be weird if I was dating one of his team mates."

"Mm...I don't think that's the real reason..." Jongin lures Yun to look into his eyes, "there's something more than just the usual social etiquette, isn't there?" His eyes suddenly brighten with understanding, "...Do you like him?" 

"NO!" Yun nearly shouts, but manages to lower her vocal volume at the last second, "why would I like my best friend?!"

 

"Then..." he speaks far too close to Yun for her heartbeat's liking, "do you like me? Or him?"

 

"W-why does it have to be either of you?" her pride finally makes an appearance after the previous embarrassing exchange about likeable traits, "I could be in love with someone you don't know," she sticks her tongue out childishly.

"Don't," Jongin commands Yun silently with his eyes, "don't love anyone else, don't love Baekhyun, and don't love any of the other EXO members."

"Why should I listen to you?" Yun challenges weakly, inwardly melting under his stare.

"Because," he blushes, "just because."

 


 

You have no right to be angry about it, Baekhyun scolds himself on the other side of the building, Yun is entitled to her own happiness - it shouldn't matter that the other party is Kim Jongin or someone else. As long as she's happy, you should be happy too.

As he exits the SM building, the first drop of rain lands upon his nose.

Great, now the weather's bullying me too, Baekhyun pouts unhappily, mind catching onto the sullen mood of the weather. They were hugging each other...and smiling. Yun had tears in her eyes...but she's obviously been successful in terms of weight loss. Baekhyun sighs, in the end, it was Jongin who helped her...

Pit, pat, pit, pat. 

I really shouldn't be thinking all this, his inner voice calls out to himself, Yun has never been truly happy all her life - and if Jongin is able to give her happiness, then who are you to complain?

 

The rain was pouring down in sheets now, as he stands right in front of SM entertainment's front door, soaking in the cold liquid landing upon his skin.

It's for the best. You were unable to make her gain confidence and give her your love - but Jongin has been successful. Bless the pair of them; congratulate them when they announce their relationship, and give up on your own pathetic feelings stuck between friendship and love.

In reality, Baekhyun likes thin girls with curves in all the right places and big eyes emphasized with black mascara. But when he thinks he's found someone to love, he realizes again and again that they are not the right one for him. The first few weeks into the relationship he is admiring her figure, listening to her laugh and holding her hand as they kiss on a park bench. But after a month or two, their cute aegyo becomes annoying whines of a spoilt girl; their tears become fake and attention seeking instead of empathetic. By the time he's dated the girl for half a year, he finds himself constantly comparing her to Yun.

Yun never screams in annoyance when Baekhyun doesn't pick up his phone for three days; she patiently asks him if anything is troubling him or if he needs some help. Yun doesn't expect texts with hearts tagged on at the end and doesn't demand that he pays for all their meals at a restaurant. Yun isn't shallow like the other girls; Yun knows Baekhyun, grew up with Baekhyun, and understands Baekhyun whenever he is lacking affection or when he simply needs to be left alone.

 

Yet Baekhyun is a coward.

He's realized his feelings for Yun as something more than friendship for many years. He knows his heart beats a little faster whenever Yun touches him, and his smile grows a little wider whenever Yun speaks to him. But at the same time, he refuses to acknowledge that he, Byun Baekhyun, has fallen for the girl everyone in the neighborhood used to point and laugh at.

Time and time again his mind wonders what they might've been like if he had simply accepted Yun's confession, and gone out with the girl he has been unable to push out of his heart for the past few years. But more often than not he will hesitate as he walks into the SM building the next day, phone in hand and all ready to call Yun to tell her about his feelings. F(x)'s Victoria or SNSD's Sunny might smile or wave at him as he bows in greeting, and his trainee friends would clap him on the back and whistle at his 'lady killing skills'.

Someone as popular as Baekhyun...why should he sacrifice his idol debut and good looks and sharp humor for an overweight girl?

 

Angry tears run down his face as Baekhyun feels the icy water run down his back and stick his shirt to his torso.

He's trash, he knows it - but he's too scared to give up all the cheers and fist bumps for a simple squeeze on the hand and a lazy afternoon watching movies on his couch. Afterall, Yun already does all of that with him. There is no reason for him to lose his pride in society, simply because he a little more than holding hands.

If it's girls, he can have as many as he wants.

 

"Wow, who is that over there?" female voices chatter excitedly.

"I don't know, but isn't he kind of cute?" Baekhyun notices one or two pointing in his direction.

"He must be a trainee then! Look at the those sad, puppy eyes!"

"Oh! Didn't SM announce that they'll be promoting a new boy band?! Do you think he's from that?...That EXO or something?!"

 

Baekhyun glances up at the small group of girls gathered near the front door with rain dragging down his wet lashes. Girls...so easily excited and infinitely superficial.

"Here," one of the girls separates herself from the rest of the huddling group, and tentatively walks towards him, "take my umbrella, you're soaking wet!" she presses the plastic handle into Baekhyun's numb hands.

"What are you doing?! His white shirt's nearing becoming see-through! Don't give him the umbrella now!" a few of the girl groan aloud, earning an embarrassed wave of the girl's hand in their direction.

Baekhyun smiles a little at the kind girl with the umbrella, Maybe not all girls are like that...maybe there are nice ones like Yun out there. "Thankyou...for saving me from your erted friends." 

She giggles cutely as the trainee idol makes his way towards the group of fan girls. "Who are you all waiting for?" Baekhyun asks curiously, "Super Junior? TVXQ? Shinee?"

"Three of us are waiting for Shinee," the girl with the umbrella said, "and the rest are waiting for Super Junior."

 

"Go home," Baekhyun advises them, "Only Shindong sunbae-nim is in the building today, and he probably won't leave until late at night. You'll all freeze to death." he gives the girl back her umbrella, and moves to enter the building once more with a swipe of his employee card.

"What about Shinee?!" the girl who had given him the umbrella asks desperately, clutching at his arm before he disappears behind the glass automatic doors, "Are any of them in the building?!"

Baekhyun smile apologetically at her, "Don't wait for them - they're not going to be at the company for at least 2 days."

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Ideal_Realist
4/11/2015 FEATURE. Thank you so so much to all dear readers and upvoters. Appreciate it so much

Comments

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xadrimusicx
#1
Chapter 29: Kinda makes me sad when a story doesnt end with a couple, but such is life. Thank you for a story that is true to life. I have had a similar moment with no confidence like Yun and rejected a guy I liked and he liked me, and he ended up getting into a relationship after that. There is regrets but its life. I'm happy he is happy.
IrisScarlett21 #2
Chapter 29: Nooo! I wanted kai and yun to end up together! ?
Bobby_ankle #3
Chapter 29: quite dissapointed that exo is disbanding
Elizabethguppy #4
Chapter 29: This story was so great but i hope yun and jongin end up together. Great work authornim
ShakPlanet
#5
Lit
-TUANA-
#6
Chapter 29: As much as I wanted her to end with baekhyun since he's my bias lol I loved this story.
Yun is just me.
I am 167 cm, weighing 74 KG right now. . I was 85kg 4 months ago and I feel insecure about my self in every way possible. Whenever people are talking, I just think and believe they are talking about how fat I am. I am always treating myself as a fat bag even though some of my friends clearly pointed out to me that I am no longer fat. However since I am into kpop so much and I know how ideal weight is over there (mid 40s to 50 kgs) I still think that I am really fat. But the thing is I am tired. I am getting into food depression regularly.. I just have no idea what more to do.. and that's what made me read your story.. and I obviously love it because I relate to it.
swaglien
#7
Chapter 3: That hit me. I had a eating disorder and i gained like maybe 10kg i suffered alone though . I wish i had baekhyun that would help :)
swaglien
#8
Chapter 2: At first i wanted to read this bc i as well is struggling with my weight, i've read your blogs i also had drastic hair loss ( well not that drastic ) but i haven't visited the doctor... im quite worried
omonachu #9
Chapter 29: This story is one of the most realistic fanfiction here. Being fat and overweight before, I had similar experiences that could relate to this story. Like knowing yourself that you won't be able to achieve your dreams because your weight is holding you down. Or the simple fact that no one would like you because you're fat / ugly. These thoughts that I have had in the past was one of the things that I regretted the most. Back then I wanted to be socially accepted. I tried my best to be someone who I'm not just to be "accepted". If I could only turn back the time and meet my old self I would say that "You deserve everything the word has to offer. So just be yourself."
I could not agree more with your statement "Yun does not need someone to be happy". Simply because we have to embrace every flaw that we have to be able to accept the love that we deserve and be happy.
pietia #10
Chapter 29: Such a wonderful story author-nim!! Btw at the 'exo disbanding' part tho...Ugh it's life anyways..one day exo will surely be disbanded and married&hv kids T_T thank you authornim <33