Seeing Everything Past Me

Unnoticed Beauty

 

DAY 4

                Today was like any other. Chanyeol went to Baekhyun’s house; they walked together to school; and talked like nothing was in between them. But there is. And they were good actors.

 

Chanyeol acted like he hadn’t heard anything.

 

Baekhyun acted like he wasn’t hurt.

 

But Chanyeol heard, and Baekhyun was hurt.

 

                Yet, no one tried to give in. No one initiated telling their feelings. And the day went on like it was any other day, but it wasn’t. Baekhyun was lifelessly walking to his next class. He wasn’t sure how many more times he will experience this… emptiness. But he was not happy about it. He knew that later this day would be the end of him. And he was glad that he didn’t share all his classes with Chanyeol, because it gives him time to think. To stop himself of all the foolishness he was about to make. To get rid of this unrequited love. It was difficult. It was unbearable. But he thinks that this is for the better. So he could live his life without expecting Chanyeol to be something he doesn’t want to be.

 

He wants to stop. But he can’t.

 

                He finally arrived at his seat and stared at nothing. He didn’t even get a date for later. And he doesn’t want to be a third wheel. He doesn’t want to witness Chanyeol give someone the attention he wanted for so long. So he kept thinking of anything that could be his alibi for not attending later.

“Good morning, Baekhyun-ssi. It’s always nice to meet you.” He startles and looks at the speaker. It was Tao. It was strange that Tao always comes to his rescue. He doesn’t even shout for help but here’s Tao, his knight in shining armor. Why couldn’t it be you? Baekhyun thinks but doesn’t realize that he actually says it out loud.

“Why couldn’t I be what, Baekhyun-ssi?” Tao answers and Baekhyun bites his lip in embarrassment.

“You can call me Baekhyun…” he changes the subject.

“Okay, Baekhyun, but what is it that I couldn’t be?” Tao insists.

Baekhyun thinks for a while… “My date… for later. Chanyeol asked if we could go out on a double date but I haven’t got the time to pick someone out, so…”

“Oh…” Tao gives a sorry look. “I want to, really, I do. But I also got stuff to do later on so I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun forces a smile. “It’s okay, I knew you were busy that’s why I didn’t even bother to ask.”

 

I’m used to being rejected. Baekhyun wants to add, but Tao didn’t need to hear that.

 

 

 

 

 

 And then it was lunch time again, and both of them tried to put the best smile they could muster.

“So… Chanyeol, do you already have a date for later?” Baekhyun forced a smile. He didn’t want to ask, but he was curious. And as the proverb proves it to be, curiosity kills the cat.

Chanyeol nods happily, “Yes, I do. She’s really pretty; I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

 

She. Baekhyun hates that word; especially if it came from Chanyeol. Because even though he tries to constantly deny it, he knew. He knew that he will never be a ‘she’. No matter how many wigs he wears, no matter how girly he dresses, no matter what he does, he will never reach Chanyeol’s expectations. This ‘he’ can only try to smile for Chanyeol, to try to make everything better for Chanyeol, to try to make Chanyeol happy.

 

He can only try. And it makes him suffer.

 

Because even though he is a he, he could be hurt.

 

And it hurts so damn much.

 

Trying to pretend isn’t a help either.

 

                Their conversation ended there and as the bell rang he rushed to the men’s room. Locking himself into one of the cubicles, he sat down the floor and cried. Cried like he never cried in his life. Along with the trickling tears came out loud sobs. He really looks like a girl now. She’s the girl in those sappy dramas that can’t have someone she loves. He wasn’t prepared to hurt this much. His chest tightens, and it was like the world was against him again.

“E-excuse me? Are you okay?” a guy asks from outside the cubicle.

“Leave me alone! I don’t need help!” he buries his face into his knees.

“Uhm… if it makes you feel better, I could accompany you.”

Pity. Another word that he hates. Because in life, the only thing people give you was pity. And he didn’t need any of it from a stranger. He saw from under the door that the stranger sat on the floor and leaned on the door.

“I’m fine, okay?! Just go away! I don’t even know you!” he bangs the door.

“It’s Tao, Baekhyun. It’s just me. I saw you ran here so I followed you.”

“I don’t care dammit! Leave me alone! Please… leave me be… It’s unfair… I didn’t even want this…” Baekhyun didn’t even direct those last words to Tao. But he couldn’t keep it in.

“It’s… It’s Chanyeol, isn’t it?” Baekhyun widens his eyes. Was I that obvious?

“Wha—What are you talking about?” Baekhyun denies.

“You love him, don’t you?” Tao’s voice got softer, and Baekhyun wondered why. “Tell you what; I’ll be your date later.” Baekhyun widens his eyes, tears still b down from them.

“You’re a great guy, Tao. But I don’t need your pity. Thank you for the offer. Thank you for simply being there for me.” Baekhyun says. He’s been very thankful for Tao recently. He was a big help.

“It’s not pity, Baekhyun. It’s concern, worry… It’s…” Tao sighs and decides not to continue that sentence. “You know, Chanyeol likes you too. And I think he just doesn’t want to realize it. Maybe, he’s afraid, or confused… But you know, I can see it in his eyes. It just can’t be anything else, but love.” Baekhyun’s eyes started to tear up again. “I’ll come with you later, and I promise you, he will realize that he was wrong and he loves you.”

Baekhyun cries a bit more, but finally got the courage to stand up. Tao stood up too, hearing the other’s footsteps. Baekhyun opens the door and as soon as he sees Tao, he envelops him into a hug.

 

“Two things, though.” Tao said, and Baekhyun looks up at him, eyes clearly asking what it was.

“Uhm…” Tao scuffles in his pocket and after a few seconds, he offers his handkerchief to Baekhyun. “Wipe your face, you look awful! Plus, it’s going to stain my uniform.” Both of them laughs and Baekhyun takes the handkerchief to wipe his face.

Tao observes, “Tsk. You just spread it more.” He comments and goes to the sink to dampen the handkerchief. Baekhyun grabs it but Tao snatches it. “Let me do it.” Baekhyun bit his lip while Tao leans forward. He blushes and looks down. Tao smiles after wiping Baekhyun’s face. “You know, you look a lot better this way.”

Baekhyun didn’t know what to say and smiles awkwardly. “U-uh… What’s the second thing?”

Tao chuckles, “You need to wear girl’s clothes.”

 

 

 

 

 

                Chanyeol was pacing around his room. It was half-past five, one and a half hours before their date, but he was worrying on what he should wear. He rummages his closet but finds none that satisfies him. Sighing in defeat, he grabs his wallet and rushes out for a quick shop.

 

                Baekhyun meets Tao at a café inside the mall, still in his girl uniform. He sees Tao already wearing his casual clothes, still looking as fashionable as ever. He now knows why Tao had been his crush. He rushed to Tao and sat opposite to him. Tao smiles, “So… are you ready?”

“Tao… I’m serious… You don’t have to do—”

“I insist. Plus, shopping is my thing. So, no need to worry about looking good. Well, you look good on your own anyways… So, let’s go?” he asks and Baekhyun nods.

                They were a bit shy at first, but after a few more conversations they got rid of all of it. Tao inspects the clothes and looks at Baekhyun’s physique then gets back to checking them. After a few minutes of searching and strolling, they finally selected some. Tao picked two pairs of clothes and shoes to go with it. They went to the cashier to pay.

The cashier greeted them with a smile. “Good evening sir.”

The two bowed and gave the items. After the cashier checked it out, Baekhyun widened his eyes, for it was very expensive. Before he could pull out his wallet, Tao already did and paid for it. “Aww, you two look good together, sir.” The cashier said.

Tao wrapped his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder; “We do, don’t we?” the cashier nods. “We’ll be having our date later, so you think he can wear one of those?” he asks, pointing to the clothes.

“Sure sir, let me just get rid of the tag.”

 

                Chanyeol watches them from afar. So you have your own date huh? And you didn’t even bother dressing up like a boy. Are you seducing him? Chanyeol thinks, gritting his teeth in anger. He sees how Tao wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulder, and how Baekhyun shyly smiles at him. I thought you loved me? He just finished his shopping and was already wearing his new clothes. “Byun Baekhyun!” he shouts, and as both of them looks at him, Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun’s smile faded. Seriously? He rushed towards them.

“Chanyeol… why are you here?” Baekhyun asks and Chanyeol avoided eye contact.

“Uh… I was just… checking if my favorite clothing line released its new collection.” Chanyeol puts up a lame excuse.

“The P&F? But I thought they released their new collection weeks ago? You always talked about buying them.” Baekhyun replied.

“Uh… yeah… I was waiting for the new ones… Anyways, what are you two doing here?” Chanyeol prevented the topic.

Tao smiles, “We bought clothes for our double date.” He smirks. Stupid, P&F’s next collection is due next month. Tao wanted to add but decided not to.

“Our?” Chanyeol infers and looks at Baekhyun who had his gaze on the floor.

“I’m his date. He invited me.”

Chanyeol felt a harsh prick on his heart. He doesn’t know why but he’s not happy about this.

 

 

 

 

 

                After Baekhyun dressed for the date, the trio walked together to the restaurant Chanyeol reserved. Upon arriving, Chanyeol’s date was already sitting on one of the tables. Chanyeol rushes to greet her. Baekhyun’s heart dropped at the sight. He was about to turn back but Tao stopped him and gave him a reassuring look. They both walked to the couple. As the girl faced them, Baekhyun was stunned. The girl is really beautiful.

 

Come on Baekhyun. Just back out. How could you win over someone this beautiful?

 

“Well… She is Yoona. She’s also a junior. Maybe you’ve seen her in one of your classes?” Chanyeol asks. Both of them shake their heads.

Yoona smiles and offers a hand to Tao, “You must be Baekhyun?”

“I’m Tao. He’s Baekhyun.” He points to Baekhyun who had his head lowered the whole time.

“I’m so sorry.” She looked at Baekhyun apologetically. “It’s just that… Chanyeol mentioned you were a guy, so…”

“It’s fine. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands.

 

 

 

 

 

                After the awkward introduction, everything seemed to go out well, from a spectator’s perspective. But it actually isn’t. Baekhyun kept on talking to Tao. It’s the only thing he thought of that could distract his eyes from looking at Chanyeol. Though he did steal several glances, at least it was to a minimum. Chanyeol was the opposite. He was talking to his date, but his eyes alternates from his food, and to Baekhyun. He only takes one second glances to Yoona. Chanyeol couldn’t help but glare at Tao for being such a sweetheart. Tao feeds him, wipes his face, tucks his hair behind his ear, and talks sweet things about him. And Baekhyun blushes at everything he does.

 

Baekhyun blushes, DAMMIT!

 

Why do I care?

 

Yeah, why do you care Chanyeol?

 

He’s your friend. Be happy for him, idiot!

 

But Chanyeol couldn’t be happy. He was seething with jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit but he knows he was. And it wasn’t right. He planned all of this so he could get rid of his and Baekhyun’s feelings, but why was he jealous? He shouldn’t feel this way. And then Baekhyun giggled. Baekhyun giggled the way he does at Chanyeol’s lame jokes, Baekhyun giggled like he was happy. He was happy with Tao. Chanyeol bit his lip to stop himself for saying something.

 

 

 

 

                When it was time to go, they all walked Yoona and Tao to the bus stop, since both of them lived at the same neighborhood. Chanyeol and Yoona were in front, and the other two were at the back. Tao was holding Baekhyun’s hand the whole time. Baekhyun initiated it though, because it pained him to see how Chanyeol was walking together with… a girl. Every time they hear Chanyeol’s voice, they tighten their grip. I’m hopeless. Chanyeol… can’t I be beside you instead? His heart was hurting the whole time they spent together.

                Chanyeol decided to walk in front of them. Because maybe; maybe then he wouldn’t have to stand looking at Baekhyun and Tao. He distracted himself the whole trip by talking about random stuff with Yoona, and the girl gladly listens to him. He noticed though, that no matter how random the story was, Baekhyun’s name was included. And he sure hoped that the three didn’t notice it.

                They finally arrived, and Chanyeol manages to form a smile and looks to the couple at the back. His smile quickly fades as soon as he sees their intertwined hands. Your hands would’ve looked better with mine, Baekhyun. But then he shakes his head. “Tao, the bus just arrived.” Chanyeol says to distract the two, or maybe just to distract himself. Yoona bid goodbye and rode the bus, while Tao leaned in to whisper something to Baekhyun and then hugs him. Baekhyun hugs back and waves goodbye. Chanyeol controlled himself. Stop, Chanyeol. In a few seconds you will be alone with Baekhyun. He’s all yours by then.

                Afterwards, the two walked in utter silence. Baekhyun fiddled with the paper bag he was holding, while Chanyeol looked everywhere but to Baekhyun.

“So… Yeol… where did you meet her?”

“Uhm… she was in one of my classes. She’s really smart you know. I think you two would get along.”

                Baekhyun tried to smile, but ended up simply nodding. He looks down again, as if the ground was his only friend. Then, once again, there was silence.

 

“Why Tao?”

“…”

“…”

“He was my last resort.” Because I didn’t actually thought of anyone but you.

“You don’t have to lie, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol comments, and he didn’t know where those words came from, maybe anger, jealousy, betrayal… whatever it was he was feeling right now.

“Wh—what do you mean by that?” Baekhyun looks at him innocently.

“I know. I see the way you look at him. You still like him, don’t you?” he insists.

“I don’t!”

“You do, Baekhyun!” they stopped walking and faced each other.

“You don’t know how I feel…” Baekhyun was at the verge of tears.

“You know, you don’t know how I feel too. I’m your best friend. There was no need to lie to me. But you did.” Because you told me you love me when you don’t.

“But I didn’t lie! What is it that you’re implying? I didn’t lie. I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

“You keep secrets from me! You’re secretly dating Tao, and you didn’t even tell me. You told me—”

“Tao and I aren’t dating! If you are my best friend, you would believe me.” Baekhyun’s tears started to fall. “I don’t know what has gotten into you. And I don’t get the point where you have to care about my love life. Tao comforted me! That was it! He protected me!”

“And you think I couldn’t do the same?! I’m your best friend for years, Baekhyun! He protected you?! I guess he wouldn’t have to if you weren’t wearing those now!”

“I did this…" to impress you. “because we made a deal.”

“Going out with it isn’t a part of our deal! Just… stop, Baekhyun. You know, let’s stop this routine. There’s only one day left anyways. You could stop wearing those… ty skirts.” Chanyeol didn’t notice that he was already crying too. “Or maybe Tao wants you to. I don’t care, do whatever you please.”

“Maybe I would, Chanyeol… maybe I would.” Baekhyun gives one last weak smile before walking away.

 

 

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A/N: Why was there so much drama? Anyways... this was a long chapter than expected.

You guys guessed right! Tao was his date for today~

I noticed that a lot of you commented, so thank you everyone!

I hope you like this one.

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Comments

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pcyxbbh #1
Chapter 6: Cute.. cute.. cute.. %>_<% fighting writer-nim..
chanbaekghei
#2
Chapter 6: Soooo cutttee! ♡♡♡
CallMeCandy
#3
Chapter 6: OMO.. Too much feels Im gonna die!
EXOphrenic-Lover
#4
Chapter 6: I'm so glad I found this fic xD
Just asdfghjkl them fluffy feels xD
Great job author-nim!
BlueSkyFrost #5
Chapter 6: Kyaaaaaaaa!! Cute story kyahahahaha kyahahaha *going crazy* xD
Cappulate
#6
Chapter 6: Great Ending!! ^^
arjoe333 #7
Chapter 6: Ayieee gondo gondo naman ng ff :p
Chanstering
#8
Chapter 6: YAY!! TOGETHER AT LAST!!
Krease99
#9
Chapter 6: Cute fanfic ^^ Can't believe I didn't find it until now >.<
Loved it! ^.^ <3
menikkey #10
Chapter 6: noooooooo~~~~ i want more!!!!!!! >.<