Sungmin place his guitar gently on the bed and walked out of his room. It has been days since the incident happened but sungmin still feel miserable. Suddenly, sungmin realised how stupid he is. He tried to commit suicide because of cho kyu hyun, that guy that broke his heart into little pieces. There is one more thing that is even more stupid - he still yearns for him. Even if kyuhyun stabbed his heart with an invisible knife for countless times, his poor heart still beats for him. Crazy much? Yeah, sungmin is indeed crazy, he is crazy in love with cho kyu hyun.

“hyung, where are the others?” sungmin asked when he saw yesung inside the kitchen.

“siwon went to the church, shindong have a date with nari and the eunhae couple went to buy something.” Yesung shrugged as he put the last packet of ramen inside the cabinet.

“Minnie, I’m going to buy some grocery. Do you want to join me?” yesung suggested. Sungmin nodded as he smile at yesung.

                                                              * * *

“So, how are you?” Yesung said as he pushed the trolley.

“What do you mean?” sungmin look at yesung strangely.

“I bet you know what I mean.” Yesung frown.

Of course sungmin know what yesung mean. After that incident, sungmin has been locking himself inside the room, venting his feelings by playing the guitar. Only during meals time then he will leave his room, acting all normal with a pair of red and swollen eyes.

“So, aren’t you going to answer me?” Yesung stopped pushing the trolley and tilted his head to look at sungmin.

Sungmin glance at yesung, feeling uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to tell his hyung how he actually feel as he knows that his hyung will say the same thing he had said to him for the pass few days, ‘minnie, I know it’s difficult for you but please, forget about that bastard and move on.’ How easy he put it. He quickly pushes the trolley and walk forward.

“Stop avoiding. You have been doing that for a week.” Yesung folded his arms as he followed sungmin.

“hyung, the carrots are fresh, you buying?” sungmin picked two carrots and wave it in front of yesung.

“Lee sung min.” yesung frowned and snatch the carrot from sungmin before placing them at the original place. Sungmin continue to ignore yesung and walk forward.

“Sungmin…” yesung sighed.

“hyung, the strawberries are fresh! Let’s buy some for hyukkie!” sungmin put a few packets of strawberries inside the trolley and smile at yesung.

“Sungmin…”

“hyung, you buying milk? They are right ahead.”

“Sungmin…”

“Or do you want to buy bread? Are there enough bread for us?”

“Sungmin.”

“Oh! Ramen! What flavour should w-”

“Lee sung min!” yesung stood in front of the trolley, stopping sungmin from moving forward as he stares at sungmin.

“Fine…what do you want?” Sungmin sighed.

“I just want you to be honest.” Yesung folded his arms. Sungmin took a deep breath before speaking.

“I can’t forget about him.”

“Minnie…”

“I’ve tried but I can’t…My heart just won’t listen to me. This time, I’ve fallen too deep and I can’t get up anymore…you should know, I didn’t walk out from my past relationship until kyuhyun came. He was the one who pull me up and…push me down again…” Sungmin felt a lump forming in his throat.

“hyung, I spent one year trying to forget about kangin and I’m already struggling. How am I suppose to forget kyuhyun in a short time?”

“Have you thought of leaving?” yesung uttered.

“What?” sungmin widen his eyes.

“Leaving. Since you can’t do it, let things fade over time. Come back when you feel that you are ready.”

“hyung…”

“It’s time to let it go, sungmin ah…” yesung put his hands on sungmin’s shoulder as he look straight into sungmin’s eyes.

“I know that my words are going to hurt you but I have to say it. It’s over. Everything between you and kyuhyun is over. You have to let it go, there is no more point holding on to it, it will just hurt you more.” Yesung speak gently but firmly. His heart sqeezes as he notice the tears that are forming inside sungmin’s eyes.

“Min-”

“hyung…let’s just stop talking about this…okay?” sungmin bite his lips to hold his tears. Looking at sungmin’s current state, yesung could only nod his head.

                                                * * *
 

“Yah! Stop drinking!” ryeowook tried to snatch the glass of alcohol from kyuhyun but the maknae slapped ryeowook’s hand away and gulped the liquid down.

“Another glass please!” kyuhyun ordered.

“Sorry, forget about the order!” ryeowook apologize to the bartender before turning his attention towards kyuhyun.

“Yah…just what’s wrong with you? I don’t think you called me here to watch you getting drunk.” Ryeowook frowned.

“ryeowook ah, what should I do?” kyuhyun lay his head on the table and play with the empty glass in front of him.

“Sungmin?” ryeowook uttered. Kyuhyun look at ryeowook without saying anything.

“I treat that as a yes. So, what’s with sungmin again? Did he do anything that make you disgusted again?” ryeowook said as he emphasise the word ‘digusted’.

Kyuhyun sighed.

“I love him.” kyuhyun raised his head and stop playing with the glass.

“Hm! Did I heard it correctly, mr cho? You love him? Didn’t you say that sungmin make you feel disgusted? Didn’t you hate s-” ryeowook said sarcastically.

“I love him okay?! I love him!” kyuhyun raised his volume, getting annoyed.

“Why say it to me?! Say it to sungmin then!” ryeowook increased his volume as well.

“tch…cho kyu hyun… don’t you think it is a little bit too late? After what you had done to sungmin, you still dare to say you love him?” ryeowook glared at kyuhyun.

“I know…I have hurt him...”

“A lot. You hurt him a lot. Then what about the incident? Didn’t you insist that sungmin like seohyun and he was acting all along?”

“I don’t know…my head is in a mess now!” kyuhyun ruffled his hair angrily.

“I really don’t know how to help you, kyuhyun…sometimes, I would wish that sungmin can be together with you but sometimes, I just think that you don’t deserve sungmin. Sungmin is really a nice guy. And you? breaking his heart and now saying you love him.” ryeowook sighed in defeat.

Kyuhyun remain silence. All the memories of sungmin replayed in his mind. He knows, kyuhyun knows that he don’t deserve sungmin. Sungmin should find a better guy and forget about him. But he really wants sungmin beside him. At the same time, he is also afraid. He is afraid that even if he apologizes to sungmin, sungmin wouldn’t forgive him. Just what should he do?

                                                        * * *

Sungmin walked into his room after having his dinner. He sat on his bed and was about to play his guitar when his book fell off the table. He wanted to ignore it but something caught his attention. It was a form and an air ticket to Japan.

‘Music university school application form.’

Suddenly, sungmin remembered something.

“Coincidentally, the principal of this school went to watch the competition. He came to me and asked for kyuhyun’s name and the writer’s name of that song. I told him it was kyuhyun and you so he offered this opportunity to let both of you to further develop your musical talents. If you agree, just fill in the form and pass it to me, I will contact the principal.” Miss Kim smiled.

He sat on his bed with his knees against his chest and stare at the item in his hand.  Today, yesung just mention about leaving and now the air ticket is right in his hand. This make sungmin wonder if he really is fated to leave. Maybe leaving is really his only option. Sungmin look at the date of departure on the air ticket, it was the day after tomorrow. Should he really leave? Is it really the end between him and kyuhyun? Sungmin doesn’t want it to end. He really doesn’t. He believed that if he continues to wait, kyuhyun will come back to him. But, everything that kyuhyun done doesn’t prove so. What kyuhyun have done only prove that he will never come back to sungmin anymore, he will only stay as far away as possible from sungmin. Sungmin’s heart ache at that thought.

Yesung’s words once again rang in his mind.

“It’s time to let it go, sungmin ah…”

“It’s over. Everything between you and kyuhyun is over. You have to let it go, there is no more point holding on to it, it will just hurt you more.”

Maybe, it is really the time to let it go. No matter how he doesn’t want to, he has to. Sungmin took his phone out and search for kyuhyun’s name in his contact list. When he found it, he stares at it and felt his vision blur.

“Listen, you only makes me feel disgusted. I don’t love you but I hate you!”

“kyuhyun ah, I guess I really have to let it go, right?” sungmin whispered to his phone as tears roll down his cheeks.

“No matter how hard I refuse to believe it, it is still true that everything is over between us, right?” Sungmin puff his cheeks to prevent him from crying.

“That’s right, kyuhyun ah. It is really the end.” Sungmin smile bitterly. He looks at kyuhyun’s name in his contact list for the one last time and press the delete button.

‘Contact deleted’  the phone show this message. Sungmin closed his eyes as the last tear roll down his cheek. It’s the end. It’s really the end.