Baekhyun wasn’t sad. The way the unfamiliar sheets wrapped around his bare skin was something he thought wouldn’t feel as painful as it did now. He didn’t want to get out, and it was horrible, it was excruciating.

He lay there, blankly staring into the air as he hoped for a bit of confirmation, a bit of closure. He didn’t want to believe what was happening, but it wasn’t something he could control. Chanyeol likes Taeyeon.

He felt a painful smile harmonizing with the steady beat that felt heavier with each interval. His breathing would lapse, and he realized that this was it. He knew from the moment Chanyeol didn’t look like he was going to contact him at any time soon. It had been 5 years, and Baekhyun had to painfully go through each day in hope he’d get at least a letter, or something.

But there was never anything like that. He felt stupid, thinking that Chanyeol would actually bring along his highschool romance to the future. It was extra stupid because they were both guys, and he knew that there were many things he couldn’t give.

He felt himself slowly letting go, letting go of every single moment he had spent together with the younger. Every touch that felt like 3^rd degree burns to his skin, painfully satisfying to everything part he had allowed him to touch. It was unpleasant, slowly closing his eyes in order to stop the tears from escaping his tear ducts.

He bit his lip as he found himself bravely facing this, valiantly attacking the monsters of his past. Chanyeol had to go, Chanyeol had to go.

Chanyeol had to go.

“Baekhyun, come on, open up!” Yixing shouted, banging his fist against the mahogany door. He felt a pang of worry slam against his heart, as Baekhyun hadn’t agreed to open the door himself.

“Let him go for a while, he’ll do what he can.” Luhan said as he placed his hand on Yixing’s back, softly caressing it as he anxiously bore holes into the strong wood. He hadn’t seen Baekhyun pull a face like that since the time they were still fighting years back, but now, it didn’t seem like he enjoyed it.

“What if he does something stupid? You can’t leave him alone when he’s like this!” Yixing shouted again, relentlessly slamming a tight fist against the door, hopelessly gritting his teeth as he hoped Baekhyun would just open up to him.

He hadn’t realized it, and had to confirm it for himself.

He loved Baekhyun.

“What’s going on?” Taeyeon asked, worriedly peering over to the exit that leads to the main hall. Chanyeol was still silently picking at his bacon, stabbing it with his fork. Taeyeon turned her head to face the sulking man, confusion growing as the silence grew thicker.

She pouted, not liking the way she was left out. She grabbed the napkin and wiped her face, hurriedly pushing the chair back to follow the boys who had exited earlier. Chanyeol didn’t even bother looking up, still relentlessly poking at his bacon.

Old Man Park sat still in his chair, a fork in hand as he furiously bore holes into Chanyeol’s skin. “What are you thinking?!” He shouted, slamming the fork into the plate, his nostrils seemingly flaring.

Chanyeol abruptly lifted his head, mouth agape at the sudden outburst. He had showed mercy, dropping the fork to bring his hands to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. He didn’t actually know what he was doing, but the last thing he wanted to do was let his grandfather get his way.

“It’s because you keep pushing Baekhyun to me!” He shouted, head still bowing as he realized he had raised his voice against his grandfather. The old man brought a hand to his chest, clutching it and wincing in pain. Chanyeol hadn’t realized what was happening, his head still hanging low as he bit his lip.

“I don’t want to force Baekhyun to marrying me. I don’t want to make him live a life he clearly doesn’t want.” He said, hands lacing together as the shouts from Yixing on the second floor echoed through the halls.

He shut his eyes, hoping to block off any connection with reality as he stared at the crushed piece of bacon on his place. “I didn’t and don’t want to hurt him. But, that’s all I’ve been doing. Ever since high school, I’ve been carelessly dragging him here and there. I grew up, grandpa. I realized how stupid I was. The way Baekhyun’s expression would scrunch up into a negative expression didn’t really bother me when I was younger.”

“I thought he was just joking. I thought he enjoyed everything I gave to him. But then now, whenever I remember those faces, I realize… I realize how stupid I was. I didn’t want to see him make those faces again, hoping that maybe cutting off all connection from him would be good for him.”

“I knew if I had brought him into this life, he wouldn’t match it. He’d end up miserable, and that’s the last thing I’d want to make him.”

He bit his lip as the silence weighed his shoulders down. His eyes started to sting, helplessly asking for permission to let the hot fluid to stream down his face. He forced himself to keep it together; knowing that this was best for Baekhyun.

“That’s why, grandpa, let Baekhyun go. I… I really appreciate you bringing him into my life, but, I’m not what’s best for him.”

He quietly sat there, waiting for his grandfather to speak up. When he hadn’t he hesitantly lifted his head. His eyes widened as he his grandfather sat there, silently gasping for air as he tightly held unto his shirt, arms shaking painfully.

“Nurse, Nurse!” He shouted, quickly standing up and going to his grandfather’s side. “Nurse!”

A group of women clad in white broke through the door, franticly running to the old man’s side as they moved his wheelchair back into his room. Chanyeol panicked, powerlessly following them as they made for the 2 brown doors that lead to the man’s room.

“Mr. Park, I’m sorry, but you can’t go in.” One of the nurses said, pushing Chanyeol backwards as he forced himself through the doors. His heart started painfully beating against his chest as he tried his best to get through.

He wordlessly gave up, turning his back and heading back to the main hall, eyes wide and unfeeling as he passed Taeyeon on one of the coffee tables. She looked up and smiled at the boy, confused at the expression on his face.

“Chanyeol? What’s wrong?” She asked, standing up from one of the sofa chairs and bringing her hands to clutch the boy’s long arms. He hadn’t realized it was Taeyeon in front of him, eyes stinging from the fluid that had gathered on top of his eyelids.

He brought his head down on her shoulder, letting the tears fall as he felt the pain grow in within him. Taeyeon was shocked, but quickly pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Grandpa, he… he…”

Taeyeon bit her lip, knowing a lot about the old man’s condition. She brought him closer to her, allowing Chanyeol to soil her designer blazer as she couldn’t care less. She was patting his back, only to be silently interrupted by the door from the second floor opening.

The boys started pouring out from all the noise that came from the first floor, eyeing the scene with disgust. Taeyeon couldn’t quite understand why she seemed hated, why they had twisted expression smudged across their faces.

She hadn't felt the need to care as the boy broke down, his hands loosely hanging on his sides.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, so sorry, Baekhyun…” Chanyeol unconsciously said, only enough for Taeyeon to hear. The boys watched in astonishment, unaware of what exactly was going on. Taeyeon brought her gaze to face the owner of the name, the boy who had been introduced to her beforehand.

He looked like he was about to cry, hand clutching his over his mouth as he stood frozen. Another boy wrapped an arm around his neck, bringing him in close as he averted his gaze from the two of them.

And then it hit her. Chanyeol loved that boy. She cracked a small smile, still gingerly rubbing Chanyeol’s back as the boys started retreating into their rooms. Baekhyun still stood frozen, watching the scene unfold. When it seemed like he couldn’t take anymore, he dug himself into Yixing’s chest, closing his eyes as they made their way back to his room.

“It’s alright, Chanyeol. I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry about anything else,

I’ll take care of you.” 

***

yeah um this is awkward so i got my laptop back but i'm going to have to hold out on the story for a while since i'm writing others and i feel a bit overwhelmed   wow i may be running out of ideas but dont worry!!!!

it might take a while but i'll come back w/ a next chapter that will make you go o h  my gooooooooodddddddd

so yeah heh hehhehe thanks 4 reading!