CHAPTER 17

Her every first has always been him. He’s been her first crush, her first kiss, her first love, first heartache. She hadn’t had a dream where he’s not there, he’s been a part of all her dreams, always. She dreamt of passing the entrance examination in high school so she can go in the same academy with him, she dreamt of having a boyfriend which is ‘him’ in particular; how happy she was when Hyukjae asked her to be his girlfriend, she dreamt of having her first time with him everything that couples do, she had given up all of her and had surrendered everything to him.

He had been her everything, and even though how broken she seemed to be right now she still considers him as precious as before. He had been her precious baby ever since they were kids, though Hyukjae is older than her, she’s the one being overprotective towards him. The Hyukjae now is a hundred times different from the Hyukjae before. He’s been a very shy boy, a thoughtful friend, and a caring brother. How Krystal miss that Hyukjae.

“Hi,” the pretty looking 7 years old girl greeted the boy on the swing.

“Hello,” The boy lowered his head, she found him cute looking so shy.

“I’m Krystal. We’re neighbors, I saw you yesterday when we moved at the place near your house.” She said cheerfully.

The boy nodded, “Yes, I also saw you and your family yesterday. I’m Hyukjae.” he replied but he kept his eyes fixed on the puppy sitting on his lap.

“You have such a nice name.” She complimented, “I already met your twin brother, you don’t seem to be identical though, but both of you looks cute.” She beamed.

Little Hyukjae blushed hearing her compliments after compliment, “Thanks, you and your twin looks very identical, I can’t even tell who’s prettier, both of you are.” he said.

Hearing his compliment made her lips curved into a huge smile, showing her glistening teeth, “You think I’m pretty?” she asked with sparkling eyes.

Hyukjae shyly nodded.

“I’m starting to really like you,” she said uncaringly, because she’s just a seven years old girl that’s why. “Hyukjae, let’s be friends, okay?” she chimed.

He slowly raised his head up as he nodded again in reply, “Okay,” he was smiling, showing his ever so cute gummy smile.

Kystal smiled back at him before shifting her gaze at the brown furry do on the boy’s lap, “Is it your dog? How cute…” she cooed and was about to touch it but the small puppy snuggled closer to the boy not wanting to be touched by the girl admiring it.

Hyukjae chuckled at the dog’s reaction, “I guess she’s just shy, she’s not used of people touching her, by the way her name is Choco.” He introduced.

Krystal pouted, “So, your dog is a ‘she’” she said and disappointment can be traced in her voice, maybe because the dog is girl, “Why do I have this weird feeling that she doesn’t like me,” she said.

“Of course she does, just give her time to be familiar with you.” Hyukjae replied.

“Hey! Krystal!” A boy shouted, calling her name.

Krystal turns around and waved at the approaching boy, “Jaejoong oppa, I just made friends with Kyuhyun’s twin brother, he’s Hyukjae” she said.

Jaejoong waved a hand to him, “Hi, I’m Jaejoong Krystal’s older brother.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Hyukjae, and this is my dog Choco.” The boy replied raising the puppy a bit to show it to the new comer.

“Can I touch her?” Jaejoong asked,

Hyukjae raised Choco to try if the dog would come to Jaejoong, and to their surprise the dog did. Krystal frowned knowing that the dog might really dislike girls.

Jaejoong carried the dog in his arms, “Kyuhyun, Jessica, and I are going to play a game, do you want to join?” he asked though his eyes were glued on the dog.

“Can I join?” Hyukjae asked,

“Of course!” it was Krystal who spoke.

“Then I’ll join,” he replied. “What are we going to play?” he asked.

“We are thinking of playing hide and seek, and the last one who gets back into the house will be the seeker,” Jaejoong said, “Okay, let’s start!” he said as he started running back to their house holding Choco in his arms.

“You cheater! Wait a minute!” Krystal shouted,

Hyukjae quickly raised himself up on the swing, “Let’s go,” he told her offering his hand to her, Krystal could only smile as he reached for his hand.

“We should hurry so we wouldn’t lose, so run faster and don’t let go, okay?” he said.

“Okay, I won’t” she replied as both of them darted off.

And right after that, she never did let go. From that day on she never tried to let go, she’s been there for him, always.

Maybe he had been happy but as they grow older there had been a lot of changes, and she thought that maybe those changes had caused their relationship so much damage.

The changes started when Hyukae and Kyuhyun’s parent’s got divorced.

Both of them were sitting on the floor at the far corner of the living room, hidden by the huge antique vases, their shoulders were almost touching because Krystal forced herself in the small hidden corner of the room.

“They are leaving tomorrow, Mom and Kyuhyun.” Hyukjae was almost whispering but she had still managed to hear him clearly.

“Are you sure you’re not you going with them?” she asked.

“I won’t leave Dad, it’s Moms’ fault and now she’s bringing Kyuhyun with her.” He let out a sob but he fought it which made his eyes reddened.

“But you can still see each other right? Your parents might be together again, we’ll never know maybe it’s just one of life’s challenges.”

“How can you say that like it’s easy for someone to take everything calmly? My parents got divorced and you’re telling me that there’s still a chance that they can still be together? That won’t happen and you should know that, I’m already thirteen and I can think straight and I know what’s happening around.” he said as his voice gets louder.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to make you feel better.” Krystal  apologized.

“Things will never be the same again, I thought Mom loves us, but I was wrong because she’s the most selfish mother and uncaring wife, she only cares about her own happiness I never felt being loved by her I never felt her love for Dad either, it’s always Kyuhyun, because Kyuhyun obeys everything she says.”

“Don’t say that, she’s still your Mom, without her you wouldn’t be in this world,”

“I wish I was never born at all, if being her child is the only option for me to have a life, then I wish I was never been born” he snapped.

“Don’t say that! You shut up now!” Krytsal yelled at him as tears starting to fall from her eyes, hearing him say those words pained her heart, and she doesn’t want to hear those words coming from his mouth ever again.

Hyukjae was shocked seeing her reaction, and at the same time he was shocked after realizing the things he had said.

Hyukjae slowly bowed her head, his overgrown bangs hiding his eyes, “I feel so unimportant, it’s like I never existed at all. I’m just a nobody, Kyuhyun and I are twins but I am always left behind. People were always surprised whenever they found out that Kyuhyun and I are twins, right then they will start comparing us. While Mom always prioritizes him because she knows Kyuhyun will always take her side while I will take Dad’s.”

“You’re important to me,” Krstal told him, “You’ve been a wonderful friend and I know what your worth is, so don’t call yourself a nobody because you are a very special friend and a very loving son, you still have Kyuhyun, he loves you so much, and you still have your father, he loves you too.” Krystal told him, “And of course you still have Choco your loving wife since birth,” she said adding humor in the air.

“Right,” Hyukjae chuckled weakly, “How can I forget about Choco” he agreed.

“I won’t leave your side, I’ll do my best to pass the high school entrance examination. Then we will go in high school together, with Kyuhyun, Jessica, and Jaejoong oppa.” She said positively.

Hyukjae nodded, “And if ever you’ll try to leave me, I will never forgive you.” he threatened playfully.

“I promise, you have my word” Krystal replied.

And like the first time, she had been true to her words. She never left, because during those times she was  already in love with him that’s why she can’t leave him. But that was not the last time they had a serious conversation. Not long after, another issue regarding Hyukjae’s family arises again.

“How can Kyuhyun let them change his name!” he was shouting as he kicked everything on his way towards the living room of their house with Krystal trailing behind him.

“I thought we are doing fine already! My brother never mentioned this matter to me! He made me look stupid!” he was outraged.

“Hyukjae please calm down, your father might hear you.” Krystal told him.

“How I wish he can hear me right now! How can he let them change his son’s name?! He’s so ing weak! That’s why Mom has never been afraid of him, that’s why she left him, that’s why she left us!”

Krystal could only stare at the fuming guy in front of her. It was the very first time she saw him this mad, he even cursed, she can’t believe Hyukjae can be this scary.

Then they heard heavy footsteps descending the stairs. It was Hyukjae’s father, he looks upset and he looks like he had been bedridden for months. His father was one of the richest business tycoons in South Korea, he doesn’t have to go to work every day because his secretary was the one dropping by in the Lee’s residence to hand all the papers to him for his signature. That’s why Krystal was curious why Hyukjae’s mother still choose to leave Mr. Lee.

Upon getting down stairs Hyukjae was already glaring at him while his father was looking at him with those pair of gentle apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry son, if you’re suffering these hardships in such a young age. But you’ll get over it soon, trust me you will.” Mr. Lee told him before turning his back to Hyukjae and Krystal as he headed towards the main door of the house.

Hyukjae ruffled his hair as he let out a loud groan, “I can’t forgive them, I will never forget.” He said solely to himself.

Krystal moved closer to him as he soothes the guy’s back, “It’s okay, I’m here,” she said. I love you, she thought.

She was sixteen while Hyukjae was seventeen when they stepped into high school. Actually she failed the entrance examination but because of the influence of Hyukjae’s father, she got accepted. Hyukjae was the one who talked to his Dad to do something so Krystal can go with the same academy with him, and because Mr. Lee was indeed thankful that Krystal understands his son more than he does he helped the girl get accepted.

Hyukjae’s behavior was somehow bearable at the start of the 1^st quarter of their first year, but not until he met Heechul’s group.

“I don’t like them, don’t go with them anymore,” Krystal told him in the middle of their lunch break.

“What’s wrong with them? They’re cool and fun to be with, being with them makes me feel alive,” Hyukjae replied carelessly.

“Those guys looks dangerous, they bully students, and they always make a scene, is that what you call making you feel alive?” Krystal told him.

“Don’t push your reasons now,” Hyukjae said firmly, “They are my new friends and you as a friend of mine should be nice to them,”

“I can’t, they’re not even nice to other people. What if they are just using you, you’re rich, you’re very popular because you exceed in almost everything, sports, so-curricular activities, and now you’re excelling in academics as well.”

Hyukjae slammed the table with his hands which made Krystal flinched on her seat.

“This is bull, you’ll do as I say. Stop contradicting my decisions.” He hissed.

Krystal had to bit her tongue to stop herself from talking back, she sighed loudly as she nodded, “Fine” she replied.

“Good” Hyukjae said as they continued on their lunch silently.

But a couple of months later, her friend wasn’t only involved into the circle of Heechul’s gang. Hyukjae became even more terrorizing than the rest. He even started going out with some of the girls in school which made Krystal furious.

“I’m serious!  If ever you’ll try to go out with any other girls including those from the other school I’m going to leave you Hyukjae!” she yelled at him on their way home.

Hyukjae chuckled sarcastically, “I dare you to do that, I bet you can’t”

Krystal stopped form her track and faced the guy beside him who also stopped walking, “Those are bunch of flirts, I bet half of those girls you’ve dated have aids. You disgust me!”

“You’re being so selfish, you’re being like Choco already. Both of you can’t be the only girls in my life, besides we’re friends,  I’m a guy and I’m already seventeen and I need a girl,”

“I can’t believe you’re saying that to me! Did you really had with any of them already?!”  she was fuming,

Hyukjae was quick to cover the latter’s mouth to prevent her for screaming further.

“Lower your voice, how can you shout the word ‘’ in public?” Hyukjae hissed at her, Krystal doubled her effort to pry Hyukjae’s hand from .

“Tell me, have you done it with someone already?” she asked again, her eyes were getting teary already.

Hyukjae sighed as he hit her head lightly with his fist, “Not yet,” he said

“So you’re planning to do it with someone?!”

“That’s so ing inevitable Krystal, it’s none of your business already--”

“Then don’t show yourself to me again,” she cut him off. “If ever you dated someone again or if I found out that you already had a girlfriend and you slept with her, don’t show yourself to me again.” she said as she turned her back from him and started running away before Hyukjae can see her crying.

The day after that she was very worried that Hyukjae might had actually taken her words seriously, she was about to go to Hyukjae’s place to apologize when someone knocked on their door. She was surprised to see the guy standing outside.

“Why are you here?” she asked crossing her arms against her stomach.

Hyukjae tore his gaze from the ground as he met her eyes, he sighed before letting the most unexpected yet the most awaited question Krystal had always dreamt to hear from him.

“Krystal, can you be my girlfriend?” he said impassively, it was like saying can I borrow your pencil, but Krystal doesn’t care less, because right at that very moment she was overflowing with joy.

“A-are you okay? You’re joking right?” Krystal tried him, maybe he was just playing some prank on her.

“I am ing serious, so you better be as well. Now, do you want to be my girlfriend or not?”

“B-but we’re friends?”

Hyukjae sighed as he turned his back at her, already taking his leave.

“F-fine! Fine!”  Krystal stopped him, grabbing his shirt.

“Fine what?!” Hyukjae hissed as he spun around to face her yanking his shirt from Krystal’s grip.

“Fine, I can be your girlfriend. What kind of guy are you, you just asked me to be your girlfriend without making any effort to be romantic,” She told him.

“Just be grateful that I chose you,” Hyukjae replied.

The girl can’t help but to smile at him, “I love you Hyukjae, and thank you.” Krystal moved closer as she wrapped her arms around the latter’s waist.

She’s been happy being with him for almost two years. She’s been happy despite of the countless times they had misunderstandings and fights. She’s been happy despite the number of times they almost broke up. She’s been happy because she owns him, and that he owns her.  But she’ll be lying to herself if she’ll say that he’s been happy with her.

She knew that Hyukjae can only lean on her during those times, she knew Hyukjae needs her company, that she was the only one who can listen to all his problems. She knew how Hyukjae trust her so much, and even though how many times she’ll try to convinced herself she can never ignore the fact that Hyukjae had only loved her as a friend.

Reminiscing the past made her realize that it wasn’t only her who had sacrificed so much. Hyukjae also suffered, he had no choice but to make her stay with him that’s why he’d decided to make that move, to ask her to be his girlfriend. She had been oblivious of the fact that she too had been selfish and greedy. She was afraid of losing him that’s why she threatened him that she will leave him, because she knew Hyukjae can’t bear to be alone, he can’t afford to lose her because she’s the only one he got. The only one who loves and cares for him truly.

She was mind battling to herself whether it’s time to let go, or she had gone a long way for her to let go. Of all people why does it have to be Donghae? why does it have to be a guy? What does Donghae has that she doesn’t have?

That night she let out everything, she cried the pain she’s feeling inside, she had cursed all the bad words she learned from Hyukjae and his gang. She knows she had to do something, it’s either to lose the guys she owned for years or to fight for him. Krystal was angry, she feels miserable, but she can’t feel a slight regret of being with him. She sighed as she took her cell phone on the side table near her bed and started typing a text message.

Donghae oppa, let’s meet tomorrow at the park. I’ll wait for you after lunch.

From: Krystal.

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UPDATE!!!

So as you can see in this chapter Hyukjae’s past has also been told. Go to chapter18 now I posted it already =D