I was speechless. I was perhaps even a bit heartbroken. How does one cope with the sudden loss of his entire family? I never knew what became of my parents, so I was at a complete loss as how to help the boy. I simply nudged L Joe a little closer but Niel seemed reluctant to talk. Hell, he seemed reluctant to move, so needless to say L Joe's empathetic words fell on deaf ears. Niel was, to be crude, like a zombie.

He wouldn't speak, or eat and it was making us all uneasy; especially CAP. That boy was on pins and needles waiting for his friend to respond. He stuck close as ever but no words came and after hours of waiting I grew used to the horrible silence and drew close to L Joe in an attempt to comfort myself.

“He'll be fine.” L Joe immediately noticed my stiff state and offers words of encouragement but I only grip his arm more tightly.

“You're sure?” I whisper and L Joe's hand wraps around mine but no words are spoken. He's reluctant to make promises it seems and I'm in a way glad he doesn't get my hopes up. After all if those hopes were crushed then so was our family.

I didn't say a words, not since Niel had last spoken. I felt like it'd be out of place, no matter how badly I wanted to comfort myself in someone's empty promises.

Changjo stayed beside me, just as silent and didn't bother to react when my shaky fingers grazed his. It hadn't been an accident. I wanted, so badly, to bury myself in the boy's presence but I was too embarrassed I suppose, because when my smaller hand finally brushed his, I drew back like he was the devil himself. He honestly hadn't spared me a glance and I could have probably gotten away with my needy behavior as he stared at Niel's back but I had too many horrible, concerning thoughts to take advantage.

I froze in my spot when I felt Changjo's fingers wrap around mine. It was voluntary it seems he had noticed my continuous nervous habit and accepted the 'offer' of sorts. Who knows why, maybe he felt bad for me. Maybe he was worried where my thoughts would wander. Maybe he felt as lonely as the rest of us.

“It's okay.” He mumbles and my eyes snap to his still forward facing ones. “You're scared, right? It's okay to come to me when you're scared. I want you to come to me when you're scared.” I stood like a statue for a long second before feeling tears come to my eyes at his honest, concerned words but manage to pull myself together before any fall.

“I’m more worried than scared.” I replied in a surprisingly steady voice. I was more shaken than I had realized but I wanted to be strong for the others.

Niel seeing such a gruesome, horrid site sent me into myself without knowing it and I couldn't stop myself from gripping Changjo’s hand tightly as I look at Niel’s vacant expression. It was almost as if I could feel the pain my friend must be feeling and it hurt. It was unpleasant and concerning but at the same time such a relief that I could interpret other people's emotions again. That other people affected me because, for a long year, they hadn't. I sympathized with the boy in what seemed to be the most appropriate way. CAP held Niel close, reminding him of the friends and family he still had. Those who were still living beside him and waiting for him to wake up from his nightmare.

We settled in for the night. Changjo had been looking at me more than usual and it was starting to worry me. It wasn’t long before I was beginning to fidget. Everyone was busy making pallets on the floor so I take this chance to talk to Changjo.

“Did I do something wrong?” I whispered and we sat together on the floor. He looked me up and down before speaking again.

“Are you really okay.” He was worried?

“No, I’m not." I reply with more honesty than I had intended.

“I knew it. Don’t scare me like that.” He mumbled as started to make his pallet on the floor next to me.

“Scare you? How?” I asked truly curious as to how I’d bother him. I hadn’t done anything questionable in a while, which I kinda pride myself on.

“You’re so...You always...I just. Ugh.” A giggle almost slipped past my lips as he tried to explain, stumbling over his words. “After everything that just happened, I didn’t expect you to be so calm. I was worried, okay?” I raised my eyebrow in question.

“So you want me to have another mental breakdown?” His eyes widened and he motioned with his hands to say‘no’.

“That’s not what I meant." He insist. "You’re just more calm then I thought you’d be.” He admitted with a hint of embarrassment at how his statement sounded.

“I’m as okay as anyone else. I don’t really see the point in showing how depressed I am after seeing his brothers dead like that. They were his family. His mind is probably worse off than mine usually is. So I’m doing my best to hold it together, just like everyone else is.” I admitted with a sigh as Changjo locked eyes with me before nodding. I could see the gears turning in his head as he stared me down as well as the slight surprise he seemed to be holding back because my words. The difference between what I was saying and what he thought I’d say obviously threw him off. “Do worry. It’ll give you lines on that stone face of yours.” I said while tapping his cheek without thinking and in a sharp breath at my mistake.

To my surprise he didn’t say anything, only looked me up and down. So I opted to lay down and face away from him, still embarrassed. Once my heart calmed down I laid there waiting for sleep. That night had been no better than last. I felt the terrors rising in the night and everything was horribly eerie. Every sound could be the reservation and I had become restless. I considered staying awake to keep watch for Changjo but CAP seemed insistent on being the one, in order to keep tabs on the still silent Niel, who CAP forcefully curled up to his side.

I woke up and my embarrassment instantly returned but find no one beside me, so I breathe a somewhat relieved sigh and let my eyes wander to find the others. They're chatting quietly as I approach them, ruffling my bed head before setting myself down beside my lifeline.

“Do you feel it?” Changjo's voice breaks the silence and I stiffen but the words are not directed at me it seems.

“I do. Last night was troubling.” L Joe answers and Chunji stares up at the boy beside him, before digging his fingernails lightly into his forearm in a cry for answers. L Joe's hand lands on the boy's and he smiles forcefully. “We're being followed.” L Joe explains and I stiffen a little too noticeably. I know it’s the reservation. Bad tends to have great timing like that.

“It'll be okay, Ricky. Nothing is going to happen to you.” I'm shaking none the less but do my best to focus on Changjo’s sincere words. He places a soft, comforting hand on my head as I try to keep from hyperventilating.

“I don't think it's human.” He breathes and I go lax as L Joe nods in agreement.

“Me neither. Humans are more careful, I think. They're being careless and slow. It's not for sure, but we should move faster.” L Joe finishes with a sigh, looking toward CAP, who scoffs.

“It barely hurts you worry wart. So it doesn't look that great, it's healing and I feel fine besides some tugging when I step.” L Joe nods in seeming relief and Chunji leans into the boy again. “Niel is just a little overly concerned, so he's still helping me. Babying me really, but I'm not complaining.” He smiles, chuckling at his own joke. A small forced, almost, smile tugs across Niel's lips along with a dry chuckle, before it falls back into the same blank look and he stares at the floor boards once again.

The color seemed to return to Ricky’s face once everyone quieted down again. I gave him the once over and he looks away shyly, still aparently embarrassed about last night. I wouldn’t have even known what he meant if my girlfriend hadn’t called me that once. She'd called me a stone faced pretty boy and hell if I didn't remember that day perfectly.

I shifted from my depressing thought quickly to focus on the issue at hand. Something was following us and as much as I hate to admit it. It must be Niel’s parents and I think L'joe knows that as well. I’ll pull him to the side once we take a break again so we can deal with this.

It’s wasn’t long before we set out. I wanted to get the hell out of here. Distancing ourselves from this city will make everyone feel a little bit better, but that wasn’t enough. We need to find a place we could thrive, all this moving around is just putting everyone in danger one by one and I don’t think we can take much more.

I kept my eyes peeled and ears open for any movement as well as looked after the others. Niel still hadn’t said anything. Honestly it was disturbing me to my core and the way CAP keeps such a close watch on him tells me that his behavior is not normal and that he’s worried too.

“Let’s take a break.” I suggest seeing Cap wince a little more with every step.

There was a collective sigh as we came to a stop in the middle of an semi open field. Everyone settled down while I stayed standing for a few more minutes to get a good look around. Niel’s parents are defiantly following us, and I even locked eyes with L Joe who confirmed my thoughts instantly with one look. That’s wasn’t all that was bothering me. There was something else wrong and it made me even more antsy.

Finally after a thorough inspection I began to take a seat. The moment I do a sharp gunshot goes off. I could hear the bullet whizzing past my head. Before I could even process what was happening Niel was up firing shots at a nearby tree. Cap, L Joe and I were up and armed by the time a dead man’s body fell of a nearby tree and smacked into the ground. I knew that couldn’t be it and wasn’t surprised when shots started to ring out from all around.

Niel was the first to start shooting once again like he already knew where they were. L Joe and I started firing as well making sure to cover Ricky and Chunji. We were soon cornered doing our best not to get shot as we were being surrounded. I was passing L Joe more ammo when all of a sudden I see Niel walking to the middle of the open field. What the hell is he doing! I could barely control my panic as he dogged bullet after bullet and aimed to the trees, killing them one by one.

“Niel! What is God’s name are you doing?” CAP screamed and started to make his way to the middle of the field after Niel. He would have succeeded if not for Chunji holding him back.

“ing stay there. Stay right there!” I screamed as I saw Niel get shot in his left arm, and take it like he’d just been pinched.

I took a deep breath and ran to the middle of the field. If Niel was gonna be a dumb someone needed to cover the idiot before he gets himself killed, which he might actually be trying to do. After a few more minutes of shooting the firing died down, and I figured only a few were still alive.

“Changjo, look out!” That was the only warning I had before a man appeared to my right, a gun pointed to my head.

“Wait! Wait!” I shifted my eyes and see Ricky running out into the clearing.

“Ricky stay back!” I warn only getting the barrel of the gun pressed deeper into my hair.

“I wouldn’t speak if I were you.” The man mumbles gruffly, as I clenched my jaw to reframe from doing something stupid.

“Just let him go, and I’ll go with you. That what you want right?” I cringed at Ricky’s words. He wouldn’t.

“You’re finally giving up this chase, Changhyun?” He replied and I could hear his finger pressing a little harder on the trigger.

“Kill him and I’ll just runaway again. Let him go.” Ricky more or less demanded as he walked further into my line of sight. “Please, I promise I’ll never leave again if you just let them go.” He begins to beg, his eyes watering and pleading. “Please.” His voice shakes.

“Fine.” The man sighed a smug smile none the less climbing onto his face, completely pleased with himself that Ricky had finally broken.

He began to lower his weapon away from my head. The moment it was out of my hair a shot was fired and I flinched involuntarily at the closeness of the sound. When I opened my eyes the reservationist sank to the ground like the dead man he was, and my eyes widened when I saw Ricky was the one who shot him, point blank in the head like he was about to do to me. His hand fell, lowering the gun with slightly shaky hands.

“I…will never go back.” He whispers taking deep calming breaths.

It was this side of Ricky that scared me the most. The innocent to killer switch he has, but there was something different about his eyes that told me he was in full control. And that control just saved my life.

Ricky…just saved MY life.

“CAP! Wait!” Chunji screamed breaking me out of my thoughts. My eyes move from Ricky’s form just in time to see CAP stalking towards us.

Before I could get a word in he pushed past me, fist raised in an instant as he took a swing at Niel. The younger didn’t even try to dodge the obvious attack and fell to the ground when CAP’s fist connected brutally with his jaw. I rushed and grabbed one arm while Chunji grabbed the other because CAP look like he’d go in for another hit.

“Let me go. I’m fine.” He huffed anger lacing his every word.

Chunji and I glanced at each other waiting to see who’d let go first. CAP began to pull again still staring only at Niel. I was about to say something when L Joe came up and pulled my hand off of CAP as well as Chunji’s letting CAP jerk away from us and approach Niel. I shot L Joe a glance and focused back on the pair hoping L Joe knew what he was doing.

I blinked in confusion when CAP stretched out his hand to Niel and the younger took it without hesitation letting CAP pull him to his feet. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand their relationship. Whatever the case L Joe seems to have them figured out.

“Don’t ever do that again. If you were to die what would I do then?” CAP scolds as he looked at Niel’s bleeding arm missing the way Niel stiffened at his words. “The bullet is still in there. I’ll get it out when we get the hell away from here.” He stated glancing at the rest of us.

“Alright. Let’s kiss this place goodbye.” L Joe scoffs herding us in the right direction.

We walked for less than ten minutes. Niel’s arm was still bleeding so we need to handle that first before we could do anything else. We settled in a small house and waited in the living room as CAP used the medical tweezers from the kit to dig the bullet out of the brunet’s arm.

“AH!” My jaw tightened at the scream while CAP’s face held a smug look.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Niel hissed out through clenched teeth.

“Yeah. Just a little.” CAP replied with a smirk that bordered on evil. He dug the tweezers in again finally pulling the bullet out, earning a groan from Niel.

“You’re an .” Niel managed with a hint of a smile as he cradled his arm.

After I patched up Niel’s arm we set off again, finding shelter twenty or so minutes later. Perfect timing since the sun was starting to set. Everyone paired up as we laid out our pallets. I gave Niel some pain medication that knocked him out in a matter of minutes and got settled next to him, watching as the other finished their beds and crowd around me.

“Um…uh could you explain what the hell happened today?” Chunji was the first to ask. I knew this was going to come up so I didn’t hide my slight amusement.

“Niel is a weapon specialist as well as a trained assassin. If it seemed like he had known they were there since he fired first, that’s not the case. He would have said something, out of it or not. I also would have noticed. He just knew the direction the bullet came from and fired. As for him walking into the middle of the field like that-” I paused and let out a frustrated sigh before continuing. “I want to think he did that to protect us.”

“What do you mean you ‘want to think’?” Chunji asked eyebrows nit in confusion. Changjo's sigh at Chunji’s naivety caught my attention. At least I wasn’t the only one who thinks Niel had hidden intentions.

“Let’s just say it’s a feeling. He wanted to protect us, yes, but I also think he could have been trying to get himself killed.” I admitted knowing one of us had to say it. Not to my surprise Chunji was the only one shocked by my statement. He’s the only one that had never really been so low that death was a tempting alternative.

“Do you think he will be okay?” L Joe speaks this time petting a dejected Chunji on the head.

“Hard to say. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s so closed off I can barely read him like I normally do. If anything he’s fine for now so it’s best to not dwell on it much longer. I’m not letting him die anytime soon.” I shrug ending any further discussion on the matter.

Chunji and L Joe were the first to fall asleep, Changjo next. Ricky and I were the only ones up even with my eyes closed I could hear his rustling. I was staying up again to watch over everyone. The longest I could function without sleep was four days, so I had no problems staying conscious.

About an hour had past and I could still hear Ricky fidgeting. I pried an eye open and see him watching over Changjo. I do hope Changjo accepts his feelings one day. They fit together well, and it’s only a matter of time before Changjo figures that out too.

“You almost got killed because of me.” The words were so soft that I almost didn’t hear it. I open my eye a little more and see Ricky talking to Changjo’s sleeping form. “I was so scared, but I bet you already knew that huh?” He asked keeping his voice low. “I know you’re still getting used to me so thanks for being there. I owe you a lot for everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be here with my new family without you.” I smile lightly at Ricky’s shakey words happy to have good hearing. I watch as Ricky takes a deep breath, still unaware that I was watching him. “Hopefully I can prove to you that I’m not crazy. Honestly I don’t think I was ever truly crazy, just really, really lost. I finally feel like I belong though, rather than the shell of a person I used to be who was too afraid to find a way out. Not anymore though. Everyone means so much to me and I'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe…and you. I-I don’t care if you never except my feelings just never leave okay.” My eyes widened as I watched Ricky lean in close to Changjo and kiss his lips lightly. I close them just as fast but not before I notice Changjo's hand tighten behind his back.

He’s awake.

I kept my eyes shut and waited for the hell that would ensue. I waited, and waited but nothing happened. I peak my eyes open again and only see Ricky laying down breathing heavy and muttering what I’m sure are curses. Changjo also hadn’t moved, not an inch. Interesting.

The next morning was a bit odd. I never thought I’d see the day Ricky was avoiding Changjo. It didn’t seem like anything to serious, just embarrassment. It makes me wonder what happened after Chunji and I went to sleep.

“If it's okay with everyone. I think we’ll be okay if we spend another day here.” I mentioned casually as we eat our makeshift breakfast.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. The reservation hasn’t sent anyone else and there's been no movement.” Changjo agreed and I nodded ignoring the no movement comment. Niel’s parents have been following us for a few days. How they managed not to get killed by the reservation tracking us is astounding.

I get up to check on Chunji who went to go change. I a little because he hides behind the door when I peak in. I laugh it off and return back to the living room as CAP finished his check up on Niel’s wound.  The smaller brunette stands suddenly, surprising us as he steps out the door in silence. CAP goes to stand but rethinks it and looks at me.

“He needs time alone doesn't he?” CAP asks and I shrug helplessly.

“Depends. There are different stages and he seems to have put up walls. Usually I'd say stick to him like you have...but he's the one that walked away, so he must think he needs some time to himself. As long as he doesn't wander too far I think he'll be okay. He has his gun and-”

An ear cracking gun shot is heard, then another as we rush to stand, and a final gun shot as we stumble out the door but we're only met with Niel's shaking body gripping his weapon and glowers down at the bodies of two horribly familiar zombies. His parents. They lie on the ground, gunshots bringing them to a motionless death as Niel stands there with an unsure CAP trying to comfort him. He shrugs the larger boy off and raises his gun again releasing a heart wretching cry as he begins to shoot the rest of his clip into the ‘dead’ dead bodies of his parents. Over and over the bullets shot out of the gun. I could do nothing but watch as CAP tried to console Niel only to be pushed away viciously as the brunet took off, tears running down his face in violent streams while he races off to who knows where. This time CAP doesn't hesitate to chase the boy until they're out of site and we all follow until the two boys race up a suddenly nearby tower and I stop the others from entering behind them.

“CAP will help him. We'll only get in the way.” I sigh and Changjo grinds his teeth, seeming near furious at the suggestion.

“Damn it L Joe, this wasn't supposed to happen! He wasn't supposed to kill them.” The red head cries and it's as if he feels the pain Niel must be going through as his face falls into his hands and his breathing becomes raged. I slap his back too roughly to be comforting but Changjo snaps his eyes to me.

“There's nothing we can do. Don't hate yourself for it...just wait.” Is all I can offer in consolation and Changjo slumps against the wall, with me beside him, pulling Chunji into my lap. Chunji and I seem to be silently helping each other with those small meaningful touches. They're saying 'it's okay', 'it'll be fine', 'he'll make it through this' as reassurance for ourselves while Changjo mumbles to himself and Ricky stand to his left, unable to do anything more than pet his head in comfort because this isn't his fault.

OHHHH MAIIII GURDDDD!

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY AKDSKUFHLF

It'd been three months!

                                                                  Am I a hermit?

How the hell did you all go three months without me?

Did you miss me?

I missed you!

Lololol NOOOO for reals!

We're making progressssssss.

I'm getting lots of feels from Changrick lolol

I can't wait to make those boys fall in luvvvvv. 

Lol

So much has happened while I've been gone.

I saw Teen Top live mehhhhhhhhnnn 

It hurt so good! 

And Block B came back and all that other madness that would take too long to talk about, so I'll bundle it into one big...

uadaiufsdkjblskfkaskfgaskfasa;kfbaslfsui

Oh! On another note! 

                                                                           Happy Thanksgiving! 

Hooray for...taking things that don't belong to you.........

Be thankful ladies and gents.

What are you thankful for?

I'll tell you what I'm ready to get my EXO Showtime on this Thankgsgiving. That's what Thanksgiving should be all about....KPop.

Why isn't that a holiday?

My co author was amazing on this story by the way guys.

I laid a lot on her and she pounded me out a whole lot of this chapter and frankly I think we did a pretty kick job.

I saw your comments guys and I really do love how much you guys wanted an update so here you have it. Over 5000 words of Teen Top stuffffff.

Lol

I DEFINITELY don't want the next update to take this long.

I'll get to work on it very very soon.

Maybe tomorrow?

                              Would that be good? Lol

Oh! And since there are lots of you, I'll menttion that you should totally folliow me on Twitter! 

https://twitter.com/Chrissy_Jjang <-- That's me and I talk about cool stuff now so feel free to keep up with me. I post story ideas and shiz so keep up with me and...yeah.

I really love my Teen Top subbies and have missed my Dots like I miss marshmallows in hot chocolate!

So I hope to see you all again very soon.

Don't forget me!

Muah Muah Muah.

                             No? Okay...Except...

Fooled you!!!!

K bye.