My blood was boiling. My pulse was racing. My heart was aching. Everything was wrong. Chunji didn't take his eyes off of my when I slumped my back against a tree in sudden utter exhaustion. I was quiet, almost completely incapable of talking. In all honesty, all I wanted to do was throw Chunji over my shoulder and never see the other two boys again.

Chunji soon sat beside me, just as quiet but he appeared to have a grip on himself while I fought hyperventilating. Changjo and Ricky were staring at me like I was going to snap.

I felt like I would snap.

“L Joe-” Chunji starts but lets his words fall when I reach out to wrap his hand in mine.

Contact is good. Contact is comforting. Contact means he doesn't hate me.

He should. I wanted to bite off my own tongue for convincing him to fallow me and Ricky.

Traitor.

My eyes land on the boy and I feel like I swallowed acid, gripping Chunji's hand I rise to my feet, leaving my gun for Chunji to retrieve. He tightens his hold on my fingers and I glance in his direction. His eyes are soft and pleading while his other hand reaches out to grip my forearm.

“L Joe? It's okay now. We're safe.” I don't reply to his words. I don't honestly comprehend them but I still pull him into my arms, mindlessly and feel myself relax when he returns the gesture. His arms wrap around my waist and my heart lightens, if only slightly.

“Safe?” I mumble but the word comes out as more of snarl when I absently turn to Ricky once more. “You.” I hiss and go to step forward but all at once Chunji attempts to hold me back as Ricky cowers and Changjo steps between the boy and myself.

I lift my gaze to narrow my eyes at the taller boy, who seems uninterested but unmovable.

“Why are you protecting him?” I growl, gripping Chunji's arm, perhaps too tightly in preparation of an escape.

“I won't let you become a murderer, L Joe.” Chunji's fingertips run over the back of my hand at Changjo's words but I do little to acknowledge this.

“Give me my guns, Changjo.” The words are low and threatening but Changjo stays put, letting the traitor behind him curl into his side in fear.

“Listen to yourself, L Joe. You were begging us to trust him less than an hour ago.” He scolds, not so much as looking toward my weapons.

“I was wrong.” I reply so coldly that I see Ricky shudder.

“L Joe, he saved us remember.” Chunji whimpers as his fingers bury into my arm in desperation.

“If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have needed saving.” I pause and turn to Chunji, who eyes reflect the hurt of my words. “If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been in there.” I let my voice waver but Chunji hardly lets me finish my sentence.

“Stop.” he whines. “I chose to fallow you.” He continues but I caress his face in apology, making him fall quiet.

“I'm sorry.” I finally recite but return my attention to the, again, nervous Ricky.

“We need to move. We're still close and company will show up at this rate.” Changjo's voice is stiff as he steps forward, trading Chunji my shotgun for his pistols. I scowl at the exchange waiting for the return of my weapons but he ignores my stare. “You need to calm down, L Joe. Take some, ing, deep breaths and stick next to Chunji, would you?” He chastises, making me bite my tongue in irritation.

“Why did you bring him back?” I breath, wrapping Chunji in my arms absently.

“Did he not risk his life to save you?” He questions offhandedly.

“After he-”

“He did.” He cuts in. “Whatever was going on in his head is because of those people and we'll be no better than them if we left him behind.” I open my mouth to disagree but he scowls in answer. “He's salvageable.” He finishes, rearranging his weapons and our supplies till he holds a backpack out to me, expectantly.

I swallow my pride for the moment and accept, allowing myself to ignore our company when Chunji smiles shyly at me. I keep my focus on him, like Changjo suggested. He's the one I'll protect.

“L Joe.” He mumbles, making my ears perk and I snap my neck in his direction, making him chuckle. “It really is okay. I forgive you, if that's what you're hoping for.” He explains, letting his eyes fall as if embarrassed. I bite my cheek in shame but plaster a smile on my face.

“Thank you.” I whisper back and feel him drawl closer to my side. I breath slightly easier at this. At least he still feels safe around me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I became some sort of walking death trap for Chunji.

We moved quickly, trudging through the woods again. I wasn't happy with this because it was going to get dark soon but I keep quiet, letting Changjo find us somewhere to sleep.

I was surprised when we showed up at the shore again and headed for the lighthouse. I had no clue how he managed to remember the way back but he was surprisingly valuable, apparently. At least as far as direction goes.

We didn't have any trouble getting here fortunately. Though when we first headed away from the reservation there was definitely some ruckus and eventually screams but we did our best to ignore that. My only concern now was that I'm locked in the same lighthouse as yesterday, with the same people as yesterday but one of them no longer belongs here.

I kept my cold stare on Ricky, watching his every move and made sure he was very aware of this. Chunji seemed to notice how on edge I was because he never left my side, which I was once again grateful for.

“So what exactly is your plan?” My sarcasm is evident when I question Changjo and he sighs, exasperated.

“What do you want to do with him, L Joe? Put a bullet through his head because you almost died?” I don't let his sharp tone affect my reply.

“Why couldn't you just leave him?” I practically roll my eyes, making Ricky's inhale sharply in horror.

“Because I'm not sick.” He snaps, making my blood run cold and I retreat slightly.

“You're kinda weird.” I mumble to myself but he seems to hear because he chuckles softly.

“I don't want to let him die, so I'm weird? You trusted him. You made him part of your family. You brought this on yourself.” I swallow too loudly, recognizing his words as nothing but true.

“You're oddly moral for the world we live in, I suppose, is my point.” He doesn't comment, so I continue. “You said you knew him, seeing as how what you said about him was true, I assume that was as well.” Again nothing. “ If you knew what he did, why is he still alive?” I insist and Chunji goes stiff beside me as well as Ricky, who looks up to Changjo, too intrigued in his answer. Changjo's eyes flash to mine and they're surprisingly intense and overly emotional but I remain quiet.

“I don't usually tell people this-” He stops and offers a rueful smile. “but I think I can trust you, L Joe.” I stare at the boy, waiting patiently but unsure if I want to hear what he wants to trust me with. “I killed my girlfriend.” Chunji's breath catches and I turn to him. He is horrified and evidently knows more than I do. “You remember how I left my family to go back for her? It took me a few days to get back to our neighborhood, she was smart. She wouldn't have left. By then the whole area had been ransacked for supplies." His breathing goes shallow. "I found her place in decent shape but in was unlocked and eery. I panicked and ran in without thinking. It was a wreck on the inside. Looked like a robbery gone wrong, again I was worried. What if someone hurt her? I called her name senselessly. I needed to know she was safe but she never came. I searched, hoping she was hiding and smart enough not to show herself to the first call of her name, at least if she didn't recognize my voice. I heard something upstairs and I was so sure...so very sure it was her but I was still cautious. Her bedroom seemed like the obvious choice and when I walked in someone tackled me. It was almost reminiscent at first, just like old times but when I flipped her over, my heart broke." He stops, telling us exactly what he saw. "How could I have left her? I never even considered that she'd get hurt but there she was, eyes blank and struggling desperately to bite. I let her go, hoping to run and leave her as a, mostly happy, memory but when I retreated she got up and seemed almost calm as she approached me with that same look in her eyes." His fingers graze over his gun and his eyes narrow. "She and I both knew what was going to happen if I didn't end it there.” I go to lock eyes with him but he's staring at the floor by now. “You must know what it feels like...she didn't-” His voice falls and when he looks back up at me he grinds his teeth in anguish. “She wasn't gone.” He whispers but the room is dead silent and we all hear him perfectly.

“She was Changjo. She wouldn't have wanted to hurt you to save herself.” Chunji does his best to comfort the boy while staying by my side. Changjo shakes his head in refusal and looks back at me expectantly, making me nervous.

“You understand, right? They never feel gone.” I'm at a loss for words and can only nod again, not realizing I've started crying till Chunji wipes my tears. “So, now you get right? I won't kill Ricky because I can't kill somebody with a soul.” He explains and I feel like subconsciously...he's the reassurance I'd been looking for.

I've been looking for something to prove I'm not cruel for ending my own parents life. I wanted to look at somebody like Changjo, who has been through what I've been through. Seen the things I've seen and I can still be able to say, 'they're a good person'.

I collect myself and so does Changjo. We're both unwilling to offer the comfort, I think, we need from each other but for now we've done what we can.

Ricky's been too quiet and it makes me uncomfortable, so I force myself to speak to him.

“What was Changjo's promise?” I mumble, making Chunji shift in my arms and Ricky nearly gasp at the question directed at him. I continue to stare at him and he bites his lip, looking to Changjo but the taller boy says nothing.

“I-” He pauses but Changjo glances at him and he goes on. “I asked him to kill me.” He whispers and Chunji turns pale.

“How could you ask him to do that?” Chunji gapes in horror but Ricky nearly starts to cry, turning his attention to Changjo.

“I didn't know. I'm so sorry. You hated me so much and I just figured if anyone could kill me quickly, it'd be you.” Changjo is hardly responsive to his words but when Ricky grips his collar he offers the boy a calm stare.

“It's okay, I didn't have to.” He looks ready to laugh at some sort of inside joke but doesn't and Ricky cowers , nodding shyly to himself.

“Why would you want him to-” Chunji cuts himself off, choking on his own words. Ricky stares at the boy beside me and I fight a glare, pulling Chunji into my side.

“I've done such horrible things.” Ricky whispers, making my close my eyes to swallow his words. “I really do like being with you though. I wanted to stop. I wanted to be a good person like my parents raised me.” He croaks and I let out shallow breaths.

“Those weren't your parents, were they Ricky?” He shakes his head frantically and begins to cry.

“No! Those were just some members of the reservation that they decided look enough like me to play the roll when I lured innocents in under false pretense.” He rushes to explain but quickly became solemn. “My parents died over a year ago, just before the worst of the outbreak. They wanted me to be safe, to be protected somehow but they died in a car accident, not a day after the news got out.” He stops again and everyone's eyes are on the whimpering boy. “The reservation looked safe. They said they wanted to keep me safe but everyone in the reservation had to offer something as compensation.” Chunji's nervously chewing on his lip but Changjo looks inappropriately unfazed, as if he expected as much all along.

“What did they do to you in there Ricky?” Chunji's voice is strained but I'm relieved he asked the question I refused to utter. A humorless laugh comes out and Ricky suddenly looks angry, livid almost.

“What didn't they do to me.” He breaths and my breath catches, despite myself. “They said my pretty face would come in handy, otherwise I probably would have been a sacrifice like everybody else. I refused. Of course, I refused. I didn't have the physical or mental ability to deceive people so carelessly.” His breathing is shallow suddenly and his crying stops completely. “They thought otherwise.” Changjo, mindlessly handles his guns as if uninterested but I see him staring at the boy from his peripherals nervously.

“Ricky-” Chunji starts to try calming the boy down but Ricky continues.

“At first they messed with my mind. They would make me to hurt others, myself on occasion. Guns and knives and various other forms of torture were forced on lured innocence. We would remove body parts, skin, and whatever else they said. If we didn't, we received the same punishment and they would use brute force to get what they originally wanted. The innocents were thrown out as sacrifices.” He shudders. “You might have noticed a boy in that room with you that looked rather nervous. He was being trained. Broken.” He's crying again and I grind my teeth along with Changjo, who has dropped his distracted act. “So, that was how it started. Then when I would use the opportunity of being outside the reservation to escape, they would hunt me down and I would be put into a cage of sorts for whatever undead they saw fit.” He mumbles as our jaws drop at the idea of such a horrifying experience. “Most of us didn't make it out of that. They gave us a gun with just enough bullets and if we made it, we were released again on the same mission. I hope it's needless to say I learned, both how to shoot and not to run, rather quickly.” He takes a deep breath and has stopped crying again. His emotions are everywhere, exactly what I would expect from somebody as ed up as Ricky. “I must sound selfish but they're sickeningly brilliant. Somebody in there knows how to manipulate, how to get exactly what they want because there is no escape. I'm still in danger out here. They're going to find me and I'm so sorry.” He bites his lip in apology, then turns to Changjo again. “Death is our escape.” Changjo hisses at his implication but says nothing, looking almost disbelieving of the whole explanation.

Ricky seems to notice this and he stands, removing his clothing, dismissively. We're all surprised and confused until his torso is bare.

The scars, bruises, burns, bullet holes, they all make it very clear his story had been nothing if not true, either that or he's even more insane than we thought.

His shoes are removed and he makes a point to drawl attention to his missing appendage. Nine toes in all and his hands come out to share the last gory bit of evidence. His fingernails are mostly missing, some growing in again, some fairly new and my heart aches desperately.

My mind is blank, aside from the picture in front of me. Somebody turned Ricky against us with this. Somebody had done this to Ricky. Somebody had done this to my family.

Okay, so this chapter doesn't have much action

but things need to be explained hahah

I hope everything is more clear and you guys are still liking my story. ^-^ You are right?

You better be.

                                                  Hahah 

Anyways, that drama is over.

                                                                                                  What's next? (;

So, comment, subscribe, upvote.

I love my Dots so much. 

I felt kinda unattached this chapter...even though I cried, like...a LOT.

Get it?

You guys probably didn't...

I'm not good at transferring emotion Hahaha be happy about that though. You get the idea without the puffy eyes.

I keep my Dots beautiful haha.

See ya soon loves. <3