pairing: chanmyun.
word count: 6100.
rating: pg-13.
genre: gross fluff.
warning(s): drinking? getting (very) drunk? does that warrant a warning?
summary: chanyeol is hopeless and in love. or hopelessly in love.
 

Joonmyun is wearing what is possibly the ugliest sweater Chanyeol has ever seen him in. This is quite the achievement, considering the fact that about seventy percent of Joonmyun's entire wardrobe seems to consist of sweaters of questionable aesthetic, but this particular one is beating all previously held records. Its sleeves are striped like candy canes, alternating between red and white, while the body itself is a swampy green littered with tiny, white pine trees all over. On the front is a cartoony reindeer with a blinking red nose. The thing is also several sizes too large for Joonmyun's tiny form, so large that even Chanyeol could probably fit into it with room to spare.

And yet, despite how terrible the sweater is, Joonmyun somehow still manages to look absolutely adorable while wearing it. At least Chanyeol thinks so. Then again, he's also kind of really biased. He feels like a total creep as he stands there by the snack table and simply watches from across the crowded room as Joonmyun talks to Jongdae from marketing, but Chanyeol just needs some time to get his bearings before approaching to make sure he doesn't do something embarrassing such as actually telling Joonmyun to his face how adorable he looks. Besides, it's rude to interrupt, so Chanyeol stays where he is, sipping on his eggnog and grimacing at the way it burns down his throat. Someone definitely went heavy on the alcohol with this one.

There's loud, tacky Christmas music blaring from the speakers of the stereo someone set up somewhere in the room. Between that and the amount of people here, Chanyeol doesn't have any chance to eavesdrop on Joonmyun and Jongdae's conversation. He doesn't know what they're talking about, he just knows that the way Joonmyun laughs at whatever Jongdae is saying makes Chanyeol's stomach swoop. He can't quite figure out if it's because he's jealous that Jongdae is the one making Joonmyun laugh instead of him, or if it's because Joonmyun's smile is so pretty.

Several minutes of solitude and a cup and a half of generously spiked eggnog later, Chanyeol has finally found it within himself to walk up and talk to Joonmyun. Right when he is about to make his move, however, Joonmyun turns to look in his direction. Their eyes meet, and Joonmyun's widen slightly in recognition and realization, then he smiles and raises his hand to wave. Chanyeol waves back sheepishly. He keeps watching as Joonmyun excuses himself from his conversation with Jongdae, who doesn't seem too put out. In fact, he only sends Chanyeol a sly grin and a wink. Chanyeol grits his teeth and resists the urge to flip Jongdae off. He hates his friends.

Joonmyun starts weaving his way through the crowd. There are Way Too Many Office Workers in Way Too Little Space, and Chanyeol loses sight of Joonmyun for a while until he pops out of the throng of people somewhere to Chanyeol's right. He's all smiles as he walks towards Chanyeol. Despite his usually unlimited reserve of confidence and bravado, Chanyeol feels oddly off-kilter right now, but he manages a smile as well. “Hey, you!” Joonmyun greets him. His hair is usually styled, pushed up and out of his face for a more professional look at the office, but today it's free of product, and it looks so, so soft. Chanyeol has to stop himself from touching it. “You came!”

“Hey,” Chanyeol says back, trying very hard to come across all Cool and Collected and Totally Chill (and not at all like he's been gazing longingly at Joonmyun for the past fifteen minutes or so). “And, yeah, I came. Why, was I not supposed to? I thought everyone from the office was invited.”

“Of course.” Joonmyun lightly punches Chanyeol's shoulder, a gesture so familiar and friendly it aches. “I just didn't know if this was your first choice of party.”

“Any party is my choice of party if there's free food and alcohol, and cheesy music. And I like Christmas.” Unlike Kyungsoo, who had nearly glared a hole straight through Chanyeol's face when he had asked if Kyungsoo was going to the office party because 'Christmas is a holiday bred from capitalism and consumerism and I refuse to partake in such a blatant celebration of indulgence and unnecessary overspending on an annual basis'. Chanyeol had considered drawing parallels between Kyungsoo and the Grinch, but decided not to. He would like to greet the new year in a conscious state, and making fun of Kyungsoo would most likely not be beneficial in that regard.

Joonmyun persists. “I just thought someone like you would have something better to do on a night like this. Something cooler than hanging with a bunch of your superiors.”

Someone like you echoes in Chanyeol's head, but he doesn't have the guts to actually ask about what Joonmyun means by that. He just shrugs. “This isn't so bad.” He takes another sip from his plastic cup and pointedly does not look at the very enthusiastic lady trying (keyword: trying) to do the Nae Nae next to them. Her cubicle is just a couple away from Chanyeol's. She has pictures on her desk of her husband and her two teenage kids. No Nae Nae should be attempted, especially not to the tunes of Mariah Carey. Chanyeol clears his throat. “Besides, I'm sure there's no harm in rubbing shoulders with some of the higher ups.” And you're here he almost adds, before catching himself. That would probably be a Bad Idea.

Joonmyun nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, you're probably right about that. Rubbing is usually good. I like rubbing.” The way he says it is casual and innocent, yet somehow, once the words have tumbled around in Chanyeol's head for some time, his brain falls right into the gutter where those words are twisted into something that is not very kid-friendly. He swallows thickly and desperately attempts to steer his thoughts into more PG-rated waters. “Did you have a nice Christmas?”

“Pretty chill,” Chanyeol responds, secretly thankful for the change in topic.

“Yeah? What did you do? Spend time with your family?”

Okay, maybe this topic isn't such a great one after all. Keeping the smile plastered to his face becomes a true struggle, but Chanyeol manages. He always does. “Nah, it was just me,” he says flippantly. It's the closest he can come to the truth without telling Joonmyun that he spent Christmas all alone in his dark apartment with only a bottle of rum to keep him company because the situation between him and his family is Complicated at best. He takes another swig of his spiked eggnog, even though he probably shouldn't be drinking. Again. “What about you?”

“About the same.” Joonmyun's smile goes a little wistful at the edges. “My parents usually like to go somewhere tropical for Christmas, and I couldn't get time off to go with them, and my older brother lives overseas and is busy raising kids, so... yeah. I was by myself, too.” He looks sad now, and, no, that's not what Chanyeol wanted at all. Seeing Joonmyun all droopy makes Chanyeol want to wrap his arms around him until he stops being sad and that, that is definitely not a good idea. He casts a glance at their general surroundings in search of some form of distraction.

Whoever was in charge of decorations has pinned up a string of festive lights along the wall next to them, blinking red, blue, green, yellow in intervals. Each switch in color bathes Joonmyun in a different hue of light, and every single one of them makes him look ethereal and so, so beautiful. Crap. Adding that to Chanyeol's urge to embrace Joonmyun in an extreme bear hug is not helping at all. It's getting to that dangerous point again where he is about to do Something He Should Not Do™, and he really needs to get out while he still can, so he gives Joonmyun a quick onceover and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind: “Okay, I just have to tell you that your sweater is even more hideous up close.” Park Chanyeol and his big mouth, everyone.

The soft smile on Joonmyun's face fades to make way for a frown, which in turn fades into a pout as he looks down at himself. “I thought it was kind of cute.” The twinkle of the reindeer's red nose seems almost solemn, now. Chanyeol feels like a piece of .

“Uhhh,” he says smartly. The back of his neck is itchy with newly sprung nervous sweat. He clears his throat. “I-I mean, yeah, I mean... it-it suits you.”

Joonmyun's eyebrows disappear under his bangs. “Oh, so you're saying I'm hideous?”

Chanyeol wants to crawl into a pit and die. This is not how he wanted this to work out. This is not how you impress the dude you've had a Crush on for longer than you'd like to admit to anyone, least of all yourself. He backtracks so fast it makes him a little dizzy. “No, no no, not at all, oh my God, you're, like, the opposite of hideous, I mean, the sweater is pretty cute, I guess, and you... you're, uh...” He trails off. He's not sure if it's appropriate to tell one of your coworkers that you think about them when you sometimes. Most of the time. All the time.

“So you think I'm cute?” Joonmyun teases with a grin, which just serves to make Chanyeol panic even more because, heck yeah, he totally thinks so, but Joonmyun is not supposed to know that he does. He spends what feels like an eternity searching his mess of a brain in an attempt to figure out the least dangerous response to such a loaded question.

It turns out, however, that he doesn't have to answer at all. Joonmyun's gaze shifts to instead look somewhere behind Chanyeol, a frown forming on his features, then he looks up, and immediately blanches. Chanyeol is Very Confused. Even after leaning his head back to look up as well, he still doesn't get it. Why is there a green twig suspended in the air above them? He lets his eyes slide from the slender fingers holding aforementioned twig, along an extended arm, until he's met with the sight of a stupid, smug grin, and everything suddenly makes a lot of sense. That is Byun Baekhyun, and what he's holding is a gosh-diddly-darn mistletoe. Chanyeol would once again like to quickly but firmly reiterate that he hates his friends.

Baekhyun continues to grin, waving the mistletoe around like he's ringing a bell. He has to stand on the tips of his toes to even be close to holding it above Chanyeol's head. At least Chanyeol can find some solace in that knowledge. “Pucker up, sweethearts,” Baekhyun sing-songs. “Time to get steamy.” He wiggles his eyebrows for effect, and Chanyeol groans inwardly. This is what he gets for sharing his crush-related woes with Official Office Gossip Byun Baekhyun. If they weren't at an event where Chanyeol would like to make a good impression on people (and by people, he means, of course, Joonmyun), he would probably throw his drink in Baekhyun's face.

But, alas, Joonmyun is right there, and when Chanyeol meets his eyes again, he finds Joonmyun looking at him with the same kind of panic Chanyeol feels himself. “Uh,” he says. How does one navigate around a situation such as this one? It's not that he doesn't want to kiss Joonmyun – trust him, he certainly does – he just doesn't know if Joonmyun wants to kiss him (he probably doesn't). Also, company party. Not the ideal location for this.

Joonmyun has always been a quicker thinker and better under pressure than Chanyeol. He manages to smile, easy, and suggests: “Rain check?” That makes Chanyeol's heart beat a little faster in his chest. Rain check would mean that the having of the kisses would be postponed and instead occur at some point in the presumably near future. It could also just be Joonmyun's way of rejecting Chanyeol without making him look bad in front of his bro. It's almost touching.

“It's a deal,” Chanyeol wobbles. Joonmyun is a good dude, so thoughtful and nice. That is exactly why Chanyeol has such a massive in his heart for him. A heart .

Baekhyun drops his arm and his smile. “Boo, you guys are no fun.”

“Go pester someone else, you brat,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun sticks his tongue out at him before flitting away. Chanyeol is grumbling under his breath about Baekhyun needing to learn how to adult like an adult when he catches Joonmyun still looking at him. He resists the urge to recoil. “What?” Joonmyun keeps staring until Chanyeol is sure he has read the contents of his mind both back and forth, but Chanyeol is a big boy so he stands his ground and doesn't run away.

Eventually, Joonmyun smiles. “Nothing,” he says. His expression is hard to read. Chanyeol feels simultaneously confused and disappointed. Joonmyun inclines his head in the direction of Chanyeol's still half-filled cup. “Is there any more where that came from?”

Joonmyun gets very drunk. Chanyeol is with him all night, and he's pretty sure he, himself, drinks a lot more than Joonmyun with a lot less side effects to show for it, so he's surprised by how intoxicated Joonmyun ends up being. Then again, Joonmyun is also quite a bit smaller than Chanyeol, and Chanyeol's alcohol tolerance has been notoriously brutal since his college days.

The good thing is that Joonmyun is a happy type of drunk, smiling and laughing almost nonstop. He is, as it turns out, super clingy as well, which makes it difficult for Chanyeol to keep his thoughts straight. Of course, they weren't really all that straight to begin with, but on an average day, they're just slightly homoual. With Joonmyun leaning his weight against Chanyeol's side, giggling into his shoulder, they are as gay as they can be. It's a struggle for Chanyeol to keep from reaching out to caress Joonmyun's cutely flushed cheeks.

However, no matter how endearing (and, at the same time, incredibly frustrating) it is, Joonmyun's current behavior and inability to walk in a straight line also makes Chanyeol approximately five thousand percent more worried about allowing Joonmyun to make his way home on his own. It's probably a good thing that Chanyeol is a little tipsy, too, otherwise he wouldn't have had the balls to take it upon himself to get Joonmyun home safely.

But he does. He gets a hold of Joonmyun, works his way past knowing grins and wiggling eyebrows – courtesy of Baekhyun and Jongdae, also known as the Terrible Two – and manages to load Joonmyun as well as himself into a cab. Without thinking, Chanyeol gives the driver his own address. It doesn't occur to him until they're already halfway there. He feels panic starting to crawl up his back, then, but he shoves it away. This is probably for the better. He doesn't know the way to Joonmyun's place, and trying to coax it out of Joonmyun in his current condition would do more harm than good. So yes. This is for the better. Joonmyun rests his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, and Chanyeol stares out the window and tries not to puke.

Chanyeol's apartment is a mess. He knew this before they got here, of course, but it's even worse with Joonmyun by his side. Nerve-racking. Chanyeol is trying to make an impression on the guy, after all. Joonmyun doesn't really seem to care, though. Even when he almost trips over the pile of shoes by the door, only saved by Chanyeol's grip on him, he just laughs. Chanyeol shakes his head, smiling. “Let's get you to bed, okay?” he says and guides Joonmyun towards the bedroom.

Having Joonmyun in his bedroom of all places is terrifying and exhilarating all at once, but Chanyeol takes it in stride and tries not to think too much of it. This is just one drunk bro helping his even more drunk bro out. No big deal. He keeps his mind carefully blank when it comes to undressing Joonmyun before bed, a task that's easier said than done. It was easy enough to slip off Joonmyun's coat in the hallway, as was taking off his shoes. His ugly Christmas sweater, however, is another thing entirely. Especially when Joonmyun stubbornly insists that he's perfectly capable of taking it off unassisted. “I got it,” he says when Chanyeol motions to help him.

“Are you sure? I can–”

“No no, I can do it myself, I got-got this,” Joonmyun says, and even though Joonmyun's attempted stern tone most of all makes him sound like a petulant child, Chanyeol drops his hands and takes a step back to just watch things unfold. Joonmyun successfully gets his arms out of the sleeves and actually manages to pull his head down, as well, but that is when the real trouble starts. He ends up getting lost in the vast amount of fabric and fights and struggles with it for a while before finally going limp. And from inside the sweater tent, Chanyeol hears a muffled, defeated: “Okay, maybe... maybe I could use a l-little help.”

Chanyeol resists the initial urge to laugh as he reaches out again to help Joonmyun pull the sweater all the way off. The urge is immediately squashed once the sweater actually comes off and Chanyeol realizes that Joonmyun isn't wearing anything underneath it, exposing nothing but bare skin, pale and smooth. Chanyeol isn't going to lie. He has thought about Joonmyun a lot. He has had wet dreams about it while asleep and daydreams about it while awake, but none of his fantasies have been able to live up to the real deal. Joonmyun is unexpectedly built, chiseled and muscular, and Chanyeol almost whimpers at the sight. He did not predict this.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he forces himself to stop ogling Joonmyun's body and tears his gaze away to focus on Joonmyun's face instead. He looks dazed, and his hair is a staticky mess, sticking up all over the place, and Chanyeol does not understand how someone with such a hot body can look so cute and frazzled at the same time. He's so screwed. And Joonmyun is trying to take off his pants now. Chanyeol chokes. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Pants are uncomfortable to sleep in,” Joonmyun says matter-of-factly, as if he's not about to strip down to his underwear in Chanyeol's bedroom (which, okay, Chanyeol has fantasized about that particular turn of events very often, too, but right now is Not The Time). Chanyeol stares in disbelief, unable to move, as Joonmyun fumbles with the button of his jeans. Joonmyun eventually gives up on that as well and simply raises his arms. “Take them off for me?”

Chanyeol feels as though he might pass out, yet at the same time he finds himself doing what's asked of him, crouching down to do so. Height difference and all. His heart is pounding, and he feels lightheaded, but he doesn't stop, just smiles shakily. “You're so high-maintenance,” he jokes as he unbuckles Joonmyun's belt and yanks it out of the loops before moving on to pop the button out of its hole and shimmying down Joonmyun's pants. There are snowmen on his boxers, and it's ing adorable, but Chanyeol is also eye-level with his crotch, which is kind of hard to ignore. Think innocent thoughts, think innocent thoughts, think innocent thoughts.

Somewhere above him, Joonmyun giggles. “Y'know,” he slurs. “All-all the times I thought about you taking off my clothes, this wasn't quite how I pictured it.”

Chanyeol falls backwards and lands flat on his . He stares up at Joonmyun. “E–... excuse me?” Joonmyun just giggles again (how can a grown man sound so cute while giggling like a pre-teen girl???), and Chanyeol thinks that, okay, maybe he just imagined that. He didn't know being drunk could make him hallucinate, but that's more likely than Joonmyun actually saying what he just said. Or what Chanyeol thought he said. Or thought he heard him say. Whatever. The fact of the matter is that Chanyeol is drunk and Joonmyun is drunker and it's way too late for this crap.

After a lengthy battle, both verbally (convincing Joonmyun that sleep would be a good idea right about now) and internally (Chanyeol having to try very hard to stay calm and focused while faced with a mostly Joonmyun), Chanyeol finally manages to get Joonmyun into bed. He even tucks him in, nice and cozy under the sheets, then motions to leave the room. He has made it all the way to the door when he hears Joonmyun saying: “Where are you going?”

Chanyeol startles a little and turns back around to find Joonmyun looking at him through sleepy eyes. Chanyeol jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “I'm going to sleep on the couch.”

Joonmyun furrows his brow as if it's very difficult for him to process that information. “But... but why don't you just slee-eep in your bed?”

“You're in my bed,” Chanyeol says. It's a king size bed, and it could definitely fit the both of them, but Chanyeol doesn't want to make things awkward, and he doesn't want Joonmyun to think he has ulterior motives or anything. It's safer if he just sleeps in the living room.

“I'm in your bed,” Joonmyun says, finishing with a tiny, sheepish giggle and a hiccup, and Chanyeol just wants to squeeze his cheeks. Not necessarily just the ones on his face. He grips the doorframe tighter, so tight his knuckles turn white. The air feels heavy, way too thick, and his sanity would definitely benefit from leaving right now, but he stays put and looks right back at Joonmyun. Chanyeol is probably a masochist. “So...” Just that one word is enough to make Chanyeol's blood boil. “How 'bout that kiss you owe me?”

Chanyeol's throat is clogged up as he swallows. He somehow makes himself smile. “Y-you really don't have to, don't pay attention to Baekhyun, he's... he's a piece of . Seriously, don't-don't listen to him.” Joonmyun keeps staring at him with what is probably as much determination as he can muster, like he's dead set on this. Chanyeol swallows again. “I thought we agreed on later.”

“Well... now's later.” Chanyeol should not be doing this. His mind's telling him no, but his body, his body is telling him yes. That's probably also why his body is already moving on its own towards the bed. Luckily, his brain catches up with him before he can do anything stupid, so instead of kissing Joonmyun's pretty mouth (which would fit into the aforementioned 'stupid' category), Chanyeol leans down and presses his lips to Joonmyun's forehead. It's sort of a kiss, but it's innocent enough to be brushed off once they both sober up and Joonmyun realizes this was a mistake.

Joonmyun's eyes are wide when Chanyeol pulls away. It's a good thing Chanyeol is so good at faking smiles in the most messed up situations. Such as this one, for instance. This one is pretty messed up, and somehow he can still paste a grin onto his own face as he says: “Satisfied?”

Silence reigns for a long time with Joonmyun looking at Chanyeol intently, like he's studying and memorizing all of his features down to the smallest detail, or maybe trying to read his thoughts. Or maybe he just drunk and trying to process what the hell just happened. They're close enough for Chanyeol to be able to count Joonmyun's individual eyelashes, which means he can also see the beginning of a smile tugging on Joonmyun's lips before it actually happens. “You call that a kiss?”

This time, Chanyeol doesn't get to digest the situation. He feels the hand on the back of his neck, and next thing he knows, Joonmyun cranes his neck up and their mouths connect. This isn't much of a kiss either, just a clumsy press of their lips, because it still isn't quite registering in Chanyeol's brain what's going on, and Joonmyun is too intoxicated to put much technique into it.

It could last a heartbeat, it could last an eternity, Chanyeol isn't really sure. In any case, Joonmyun backs off eventually, and Chanyeol stares at him, heart pounding. There's static in his ears, a constant buzzing. Even if he was completely, one-hundred percent sober and clear-headed, he thinks he would have a hard time understanding what the hell just happened. He's pretty much convinced that Joonmyun just kissed him, but that's crazy, why would Joonmyun do that? There are so many questions Chanyeol should ask, yet all he manages to come up with is: “What?”

“Oh my God.” Joonmyun falls back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just... I don't know. You're just so nice and funny and handsome, and I just, I just... like you a lot? And I thought... I thought... I don't know.” He removes his hands. His lips are downturned at the corners. He looks terrified, but he still laughs weakly. “I'm sorry. I'm drunk. Ignore me.”

Later, Chanyeol will blame the alcohol for what happens. The liquid courage spurs him on, impairs his ability to make Responsible Decisions, makes him think that it's a good idea to cup Joonmyun's face and kiss him, properly this time. Joonmyun lets out a gasp, his mouth is warm and just as soft as Chanyeol had imagined, and once he actually starts kissing back, it's heaven.

This is a stupid idea. This is so bad. Chanyeol should stop this right this instant and get the hell out of the room. Chanyeol should not slip his tongue past Joonmyun's lips. Chanyeol should not crawl onto the bed and hover above Joonmyun. Chanyeol should not fit himself snugly between Joonmyun's legs when they part for him. Chanyeol should not reciprocate when Joonmyun raises his hips to grind against him. But it happens. It all happens.

The sound of Joonmyun's moan, needy and cracked, is what snaps Chanyeol out of it. This is such a bad idea. He breaks their kiss and lifts himself precariously off of Joonmyun. Joonmyun's lips are puffy, his cheeks are flushed and his hair is disheveled, and Chanyeol knows he's half hard somewhere beneath the sheets, had been able to tell when they were rubbing against each other. It takes a lot out of Chanyeol to stray away from the temptation and say: “W-we should stop.”

“Don't wanna,” Joonmyun says, and with a surprising amount of strength and motor control, he manages to pull Chanyeol down to meet his lips once more. Chanyeol is weak. He gives in to Joonmyun's warm embrace and tender kisses and allows it to go on for another while before he finally gathers the willpower he needs to put an end to it again.

“We really shouldn't do this. I mean it.” This time he moves out of Joonmyun's reach to make sure he can't grab him again so easily. The look of disappointment and rejection on Joonmyun's face makes Chanyeol's heart twinge. “It's not that I don't want to,” he quickly assures him, because, oh boy, does he want it. “I just... don't think we should be doing this when you're so... not sober. I don't want you to do anything you're probably going to regret.” God, Chanyeol must be the king of willpower or something. He has his crush in his bed, almost and clearly willing, and yet he has it in him to turn him down. Good Guy Chanyeol. “You should go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Joonmyun simply says. He still looks dejected. Chanyeol gives in to the urge to gently brush his hair away from his face, trying not to hyperventilate when Joonmyun leans into his touch. “At least stay and sleep with me? Uh, in the 'actual sleep'-way, I mean.”

Chanyeol knows he probably shouldn't, but, well. It's a big bed. “Yeah, okay.” He only gets up to turn off the light and undress. He tries to pretend he doesn't feel Joonmyun's eyes on him while he s his dress shirt and takes off his pants. He leaves his plain undershirt on and crawls back into bed, slipping under the covers. The bed is already warm, and the flush that rises in Chanyeol's cheeks certainly doesn't help. It's been quite some time since anyone other than himself as in this bed. “Goodnight,” he quickly croaks out before he can let those thoughts escalate.

“Goodnight,” Joonmyun mumbles. Chanyeol isn't looking at him, but he sounds like he's well on his way to unconscious already, and, sure enough, his breathing soon evens out and becomes heavy. It takes a long time for Chanyeol to fall asleep.

When Chanyeol wakes up again, he wakes to a morning-bright room and Joonmyun staring up at the ceiling. Dread settles like a ball in Chanyeol's gut at the sight of him. Does Joonmyun regret what happened? Does he even remember what happened, how they ended up like this? Chanyeol swallows down his fear and manages to get his voice to work long enough for him to say: “Hey.”

“Good morning,” Joonmyun says without moving anything other than his lips.

“Been awake long?”

Joonmyun blinks sluggishly. “A while, I guess. Kind of need to pee, but I don't feel like moving right now. I also don't know where your bathroom is.”

“Right across the hall,” Chanyeol says, at which Joonmyun just hums. Then there's silence again, and Chanyeol doesn't know what to do. Should he bring up what happened because they kind of really need to talk about it? Should he keep quiet and pretend like nothing happened just in case Joonmyun doesn't remember or wants to forget about it? They work together, after all, so they're guaranteed to bump into each other on a regular basis. If whatever took place last night between them makes things awkward, things could get ugly at work as well. This is all such a mess.

“I'm sorry about last night.” Chanyeol focuses on Joonmyun as he speaks again, even though Joonmyun is still looking at the ceiling rather than at him.

“Which part?” Chanyeol says, trying to make a joke of it. Neither of them laugh.

“I'm sorry about getting so drunk,” Joonmyun elaborates. “I usually don't drink that much, I don't... I don't know what got into me.” The sigh he lets out sounds pained. Chanyeol wants to hug him, but that would definitely be a bad idea. “I'm also sorry you had to take care of me and... stuff.”

Chanyeol quickly shakes his head. “Don't worry about it, I didn't mind at all.” Joonmyun doesn't reply, but there's a wry expression on his face, and Chanyeol decides that it's time to ask the million dollar question: “How much do you remember from last night?”

Another sigh puffs from Joonmyun's lips. Under the blankets, Chanyeol clenches his fists to make sure he'll keep his hands to himself and doesn't do something mortifying such as running his fingers through Joonmyun's hair. “Everything?” Joonmyun finally admits. “I remember everything.” He doesn't say anything else, and Chanyeol considers whether or not to ask about it, whether to request that Joonmyun go into further detail so he can know for sure that Joonmyun really knows what they did, but then Joonmyun grimaces. “Sorry, hold that thought, I really need to...” He crawls out of bed, grabs his sweater from the floor, and scurries out of the room, and once again, like late last night, Chanyeol is alone with his own thoughts. Crap. It's too early for Thoughts. Chanyeol takes a deep breath, squeezes his eyes shut and forces his mind to stay blissfully blank.

It doesn't take long before Joonmyun returns from what Chanyeol presumes is the bathroom. He's actually wearing the sweater now, and it's just as terrible today, even more so in actual daylight. At the same time, it also still makes him look terribly cute, reaching down to right above his knee with sleeves stretching past his fingers. Chanyeol swallows down a quiet whimper and instead smiles and says: “God, that thing makes you look like such a dad.”

Joonmyun pauses in the process of climbing back into bed and simply stays seated on the edge, looking down his own body at the fabric that covers his torso and then some. “I'm not a father, though,” he says and adds under his breath: “At least not to my knowledge.”

“Daddy,” Chanyeol says. It's supposed to be lighthearted, it's supposed to be a joke, but as soon as the single word has left his mouth, he immediately freezes up. In his deep voice – made even rougher by last night's extravagance as well as the early hour – it sounds anything but innocent. Joonmyun is gaping, and Chanyeol kind of wants to die a little bit out of shame. “Oh my God.”

“Uhm,” Joonmyun squeaks. He has to clear his throat before he can continue: “M-maybe now would be a good time to, you know... do that talking thing we agreed on?”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol sits up as Joonmyun pulls his legs onto the bed and curls in on himself a little, and then they both just sit there in silence because this conversation is going to be hard and initiating it is scary. But maybe, Chanyeol thinks to himself, maybe it's better to just go ahead and dive straight into it, head first. “So we kissed.” Okay. Diving straight into it doesn't make it any less scary, but at least it's out of the way now.

“Yeah,” Joonmyun says with a wry smile. “Kind of an understatement, but yeah.”

“And...” Chanyeol gulps, here, looking down at his hands. “And you said... some things.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Joonmyun nod. “I did.”

“Some things you probably didn't mean.” When there's no response after a while, Chanyeol lifts his gaze to look at Joonmyun again and tacks on a tentative: “Right?”

Joonmyun looks a little pale. He takes a deep breath. “No. No, I meant it.” Chanyeol waits. He waits for Joonmyun to laugh and say that he was just kidding. Most of the time, Chanyeol is pretty good at reading sarcasm, and even though it doesn't seem as if Joonmyun is being sarcastic right now, the chances of him joking seem vastly bigger than him being serious. It's probably just Chanyeol's wishful thinking making him believe that Joonmyun is telling the truth. Joonmyun does not back down, though. “I meant it,” he repeats, firmer. “I meant everything I said.”

Chanyeol feels dizzy. It's a good thing he's already sitting down. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“So you really think I'm nice and funny and handsome?”

“Yup.”

“And you...” Chanyeol swallows thickly. His heart is racing. “You like me?”

“Definitely,” Joonmyun says with great conviction and no hesitation, and it makes Chanyeol's heart beat even faster. “I've always thought you were handsome. Then we officially met, and I found out how funny you are, and you treat me so well.” Joonmyun smiles. “But you're nice to everyone. I wasn't sure if I was reading too much into things, and I didn't want to make it complicated between us, so I didn't... I didn't say anything.”

“I like you too,” Chanyeol blurts out.

Joonmyun visibly relaxes. “Oh, that's great.” It is great. It's all great. Joonmyun is wearing a stupid sweater, and he likes Chanyeol, and Chanyeol likes him, and it's all so overwhelming, and Chanyeol can't stop himself from leaning over with the intention of kissing Joonmyun right on his pretty, pink lips. Joonmyun, however, leans away so fast he almost topples backwards off the bed. Chanyeol feels his stomach drop, disappointed. Joonmyun just told him that he likes him, why is he rejecting him? Did Chanyeol somehow misunderstand something even though it seemed pretty clear? “I didn't brush my teeth,” Joonmyun quickly says, probably noticing Chanyeol's crestfallen expression. “My mouth tastes like death, you shouldn't–”

“I don't care,” Chanyeol cuts him off and kisses him anyway. And, yes, Joonmyun does have awful morning breath, but Chanyeol gets to kiss him, which means the pros far outweigh the cons, and everything is just so great. Chanyeol has a feeling the new year will be a lot less lonely.

~*~

A/N: one late night in early december, my brain suddenly decided to demand a christmas story right as I was about to go to sleep. I grabbed my trusty phone and typed out a little doodle of an intro, and then I crashed. this mess is what eventually came out of that demand. I've been fighting this story for the entire month of december, and I have no idea how such a tiny little plot bunny somehow spiraled into a cesspool of 6100 words, but that is clearly a thing that happened. belated merry christmas, I guess??? have some gross chanmyun?????