pairing: baekyeol!bffery (baek/someone unnamed).
word count: 3300.
rating: pg.
genre: friendship, hurt/comfort.
summary: chanyeol doesn't understand why baekhyun is suddenly avoiding him.
 

Chanyeol isn't quite sure when it started...

No, actually, scratch that. That's not true. It all begins when Baekhyun suddenly starts to avoid Chanyeol out of nowhere. At first Chanyeol thinks nothing of it. He figures that his best friend is just busy and that's alright. Thinking back, however, Chanyeol quickly comes to realize that it has happened more times than he thought; Baekhyun canceling their regular movie and game nights, Baekhyun ignoring his phone calls, Baekhyun ending their conversations before they even really start, Baekhyun finding excuses not to sit with him at lunch.

To be honest it's kind of worrisome. Baekhyun is a big part of Chanyeol's life and they're practically attached at the hip, so not having him around all the time is a lot like missing a limb. You know, hundred-seventy-three centimeters of limb that was never actually a part of Chanyeol's body, but a limb nonetheless. He doesn't like it one bit.

So one day Chanyeol corners Baekhyun in the hallway at school between classes and he traps him against the wall by caging him in with his arms. “Why are you avoiding me?” he asks bluntly, staring him right in the face.

“I'm not,” Baekhyun claims, but he can't seem to look Chanyeol in the eye and the tips of his ears are turning hot red. Chanyeol knows Baekhyun almost as well as he knows himself so he knows that Baekhyun is lying. He was never a good liar, anyway.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Chanyeol lets his eyes flutter shut for a few moments and when he opens them again he says in an exhausted tone: “Alright, what did I do this time?” They've been friends for many years and Chanyeol knows Baekhyun well enough by now to know that if he's upset by something Chanyeol did, he expects Chanyeol to find out on his own.

But Baekhyun shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“I must have done something. You're mad at me, aren't you?”

“I'm not mad at you.” Chanyeol raises his eyebrows skeptically. This time Baekhyun lifts his head to meet his gaze directly as he says: “I mean it. I'm not mad at you, Chanyeol. And now I really have to go or I'm going to be late for math." Before Chanyeol has the chance to respond, Baekhyun has ducked under one of his arms and is scurrying down the hallway to get to class on time.

Chanyeol can't even say anything to protest as he watches Baekhyun turn a corner and disappear from his field of view. Baekhyun had looked him right in the eye and said he wasn't mad, which means he wasn't lying. Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun isn't capable of lying to his face like that. A small part of him kind of wishes that Baekhyun was mad at him. An angry Baekhyun he knows how to handle. This, however, is something he's definitely not familiar with.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun met in kindergarten when one of the other kids stole the crayon Baekhyun was using, and Chanyeol decided to get it back by hitting that kid in the face with a plastic shovel. Him and Baekhyun have been best friends ever since. To Chanyeol, best friends means sharing everything, which is why he doesn't understand why Baekhyun won't even look at him anymore. He can't think of any reason for Baekhyun to be this upset with him, which just makes everything worse. He doesn't understand and he wants to know what's wrong so he can work on fixing it.

“Do you know what's wrong with Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks as he drops his tray onto their usual table at lunch. Jongdae and Kyungsoo are already sitting there, but Baekhyun has blown them off. Again. “He's been acting really weird lately.”

“Aww, trouble in paradise?” Jongdae taunts. “Are you two having a little lover's spat?” His grin falters when Chanyeol doesn't retort the way he usually would and it's as though he only realizes now that the expression on Chanyeol's face is genuinely distressed.

“He's avoiding me. And he says he's not angry with me so I don't know why.” Hanging his head, Chanyeol prods at the rice and vegetables on his plate. “I don't understand what's going on.”

Jongdae taps his chopsticks against his lower lip as he thinks. “Now that you mention it he has been making himself scarce as of late.” He points at Kyungsoo. “When was the last time we saw him in music class?”

Kyungsoo's already wide eyes widen further. “I haven't even talked to him for days,” he says as if it didn't hit him until just now that something was off.

“So I guess he's been avoiding you guys too, huh?” It's strange how this makes Chanyeol feel a little better, to know that Baekhyun's isn't only avoiding him. At the same time it just makes him even more concerned. What if something is seriously wrong?

“He'll come around,” Kyungsoo says as he reaches across the table to pat Chanyeol's arm in consolation. “You know he'll come around, he always does. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.” Kyungsoo's words are kind and Chanyeol knows that he's speaking the truth. That doesn't stop him from worrying, though.

Chanyeol approaches Baekhyun again after classes are over when Baekhyun won't have any plausible excuse to leave. The moment he sees Chanyeol coming towards him, he looks like he wants to flee. Chanyeol grabs his arm before he can do that. “Baekhyun-”

“I don't have time right now,” he cuts Chanyeol off. “I... I have so much homework and I-I need to get home and get started on that, I'm sorry. Bye.” He tries to wrench out of Chanyeol's grasp, but Chanyeol won't let him go. Baekhyun sighs in exasperation. “Yeol, please.”

“No, we need to talk about this.”

“There's nothing to talk about. Please let go of me.”

On the contrary, Chanyeol's grip tightens. “Nothing to talk about my ,” he hisses. “You won't even look at me right now, how about we talk about that? Huh?” Baekhyun stops struggling and Chanyeol finally lets go of him. “Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

“I already told you it's got nothing to do with you,” Baekhyun says. He's looking at a point behind Chanyeol to avoid meeting his gaze and Chanyeol has half a mind to grab him by the jaw to force him to look at him. Why won't he ing just look at him? “I mean it. It's not you, it's me.”

“Don't try to feed me that bull,” Chanyeol says before Baekhyun can even finish the sentence. “I'm not stupid. If this has nothing to do with me you wouldn't be treating me like this.” Baekhyun drops his head, and his bangs fall forward to hide his eyes from Chanyeol's view. Chanyeol can still see him gulping, though. He sighs. “Baek, please.”

“I have to go,” Baekhyun whispers, spinning around on his heel to make his way towards the exit, and it hurts. It hurts to see him running away like that and Chanyeol doesn't like it. His hands curl up into fists and his teeth clench. He really, really doesn't like it.

“Stop walking away from me!” he exclaims and Baekhyun stops abruptly. He doesn't turn around. Chanyeol has never yelled at Baekhyun before. They've had their fights, of course they have, but it has never been like this. Then again Chanyeol never felt as lost as he does right now. Slowly he unclenches his fists to run a hand through his hair and he lets out a sigh. “Look, I don't know what's wrong with you since you apparently refuse to tell me, but I honestly thought our friendship meant more to you than this. I mean we've been friends for like... twelve years.”

“Thirteen,” Baekhyun mutters.

Chanyeol pulls a face. Of course Baekhyun would correct him in the middle of a rant. Of course he would. “Right,” he says wryly. “Thirteen years, Baek. Thirteen. Does that mean nothing to you?” Baekhyun remains silent and still won't even look at Chanyeol. Something stings at the back of Chanyeol's eyelids and his voice is trembling when he says: “Well, I hope whatever it is that you're doing is ing worth losing your best friend over, then.” He has every intention of storming off, but then Baekhyun finally turns to face him and the anger seeps right of Chanyeol.

Because there's moisture clumping Baekhyun's bottom lashes together and his eyes are wet with unshed tears. Chanyeol's heart aches. He didn't mean to make Baekhyun cry. That's not what he wanted. “I'm sorry,” Baekhyun whispers in a voice smaller than Chanyeol has ever heard coming from him. “I'm really sorry, Yeol, I just...” He draws in a shivering breath. “Can we, like... can we go back to your place? Or something?” Chanyeol doesn't even need a second to consider it before agreeing. Not when Baekhyun is looking at him like that.

The walk back to Chanyeol's apartment is silent. Almost silent, anyway. Every minute or so Baekhyun sniffles and Chanyeol wants to pull him in for a hug. He doesn't. He keeps sending him worried glances out the corner of his eye, but he doesn't question his tears. Not yet. Baekhyun made it clear that he didn't want to talk about this, whatever this is, in public so it'll have to wait.

Baekhyun has been at Chanyeol's place more times than Chanyeol can remember. The amount of times where the atmosphere has been this tense between them can be counted on one hand, though. They take off their shoes and leave their backpacks in the hallway and move quietly through the apartment. Chanyeol's parents are at work so they have the place to themselves for some hours. “Are you hungry?” Chanyeol asks as they pass by the kitchen.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I don't... think I can stomach food right now,” he mutters, looking only at the floor. That just makes Chanyeol even more worried about what he's going to hear.

Usually Baekhyun will throw himself on Chanyeol's bed and make himself at home there as soon as he steps foot in Chanyeol's room. Today he stays standing. He keeps crossing and uncrossing his arms, fidgeting with his fingers, shuffling his feet. Slowly, Chanyeol sits down on the bed. “So,” he says, aiming for casual but hitting anxious instead. “Wh-what's up?”

For a moment Baekhyun stops moving, but just for a moment. “This...” He reaches up to wipe at the tears that are now b over. “This is really... hard.” His body is shaking and his voice is cracking and all Chanyeol wants to do is stand up and envelop him in his arms and hold him until he stops crying. He doesn't know if Baekhyun would want that, though, so he stays seated.

“It's okay,” Chanyeol says with a weak smile. “You can tell me anything, Baek. I'm here for you.” He still has no clue what he's going to hear. Maybe Baekhyun's dog died. Maybe his mom is sick. Maybe he's sick. Chanyeol's stomach lurches at the thought and his hands clench the mattress as his throat works to gulp down the lump that has suddenly formed.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whimpers. There's a long stretch of silence in which Chanyeol holds his breath in anticipation. Then Baekhyun blurts out: “I like boys.”

Chanyeol's mind reels. “What?”

“I'm...” He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and he takes a few deep inhales as if steeling himself. “I'm... gay, Yeol. I'm gay.” Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun. He's standing there in the middle of the room and he looks so incredibly tiny. Baekhyun was always tiny, especially compared to Chanyeol, but his personality is big and that makes up for it. Right now he looks nothing but small. Small and vulnerable. Baekhyun wipes at his tear-streaked cheeks and then looks carefully at Chanyeol again. His lower lip is quivering. “Please say something.”

“You're... gay,” Chanyeol says, trying it out for himself. Baekhyun nods. “How long have you...?”

“I guess I've always kind of known,” Baekhyun says with a shrug. “But I didn't... it didn't really sink in until a few months ago. That I... I don't like girls. Only...”

“Boys,” Chanyeol finishes when Baekhyun doesn't. “Okay... okay.”

Baekhyun swallows noisily. “So... h-how do you feel? About that?”

“How do I feel?” Chanyeol repeats, staring up at the ceiling. He furrows his brow. “To be honest, I feel kind of angry.” Even though he isn't looking at him Chanyeol can see Baekhyun's face fall. Chanyeol's jaw clenches. “Why? Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“I was scared,” Baekhyun whispers. His wet eyes are fastened on his own wringing hands. “I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I was so scared, Yeol, I-I didn't... I didn't know how you'd react and I... I didn't... I don't want to lose you.”

For a long time Chanyeol just stares at him. Then he lets out a heavy sigh. “That's stupid.”

Slowly Baekhyun raises his head to look Chanyeol in the eye. “What?”

“Actually I think it may be the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say. And I've heard you say a lot of stupid things through the years, but I'm pretty sure this one takes the cake.”

Baekhyun looks like he can't believe what he's hearing, staring at Chanyeol with wide eyes. “It's... it's okay? You-you're okay with it? You don't hate me?”

“Are you kidding?” Chanyeol almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous the question is. “Baek, I don't care if you like girls or boys or both or neither or if you like giant tentacle creatures or... uhm, well, maybe I would kind of question your preferences if that was what you-... that is... beside the point.” Chanyeol clears his throat. “Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... you're my best friend and you're going to continue to be my best friend no matter what happens because I love you.”

It seems to take a few seconds for Chanyeol's rant to really sink in. Then Baekhyun lets out this heartbreaking noise that's somewhere between a sob and a whimper. Chanyeol is on his feet within seconds, crossing the space between them to pull Baekhyun close like he's been wanting to do for several hours. His arms wrap around Baekhyun's small form and Baekhyun presses his face into Chanyeol's chest and he cries. He cries long and hard, his whole body trembling. The wails that are muffled by Chanyeol's shirt are enough to have Chanyeol blinking away tears as well.

Chanyeol doesn't know how long they stand there like that. Frankly he doesn't care. He doesn't release his hold, not even a little bit, until Baekhyun's sobs subside and turn into quiet sniffles and he pushes at Chanyeol's chest to make him let go. Baekhyun frowns as he stares at the snotty, teary mess he left behind on the front of Chanyeol's shirt. Chanyeol pokes him right between the eyebrows where the skin creases and Baekhyun looks up at him instead. “What?”

“Don't be sad anymore, Baek,” Chanyeol whispers. “I don't like it when you're sad.” His own eyes are wet as well, but he can't bring himself to care because Baekhyun's lips twitch into a small smile and that's all Chanyeol really wants to see.

There is a box of tissues on Chanyeol's nightstand and he grabs a few, handing them to Baekhyun. Baekhyun merely stares at them with a skeptical expression on his face. “I don't even want to know why you have those right next to your bed,” he says. Chanyeol rolls his eyes good-naturedly and s the tissues at Baekhyun, who takes them to wipe his nose and his eyes.

Chanyeol manhandles Baekhyun onto the bed and the mattress bounces when Chanyeol flops down next to him. Things are quiet for some time. Chanyeol can't remember the last time things were so silent between them. Usually the two of them alone create the same amount of noise as an entire group of people would. Right now none of them are saying anything. They just lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling. “So... who knows about this?” Chanyeol asks.

“Myself, obviously,” Baekhyun replies after a moment of thought. “King.” The mental image of Baekhyun whispering quiet confessions to his dog in the darkness of his room makes Chanyeol smile a little. “And now you.” Baekhyun looks at him.

“That's it?” Baekhyun nods. Chanyeol is touched. “You told me before anyone else?”

“Well.” Baekhyun sighs heavily, pressing the heels of his hands against his swollen eyes. “I didn't really plan on telling anyone, but you didn't give me much of a choice, did you?”

Chanyeol's face falls. “I'm sorry, I didn't-”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “It's okay. It's out now. I'm out.” He laughs briefly at that, but there's no real mirth to it. “I... it's kind of nice, actually. Getting it off my chest. Having to deal with it alone for all that time was really hard and now it's... it's like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I just...” He trails off and shrugs. “I don't know. It's nice.”

“You don't have to be alone with it anymore,” Chanyeol says. He grabbles clumsily for Baekhyun's hand and lets his own larger one envelop Baekhyun's fingers. “You've got me now. I'll be there for you whenever you need it and you can share everything you want with me.” He frowns. “Except for maybe, you know... butt details and stuff. I don't think I want to know about that.”

This time when Baekhyun laughs it's actually genuine. So is the smile he sends Chanyeol. “Thank you.” He gives Chanyeol's hand a squeeze. Chanyeol squeezes back. “I love you too, by the way.”

Chanyeol frowns again. “But you're not, like... in love with me, right?”

“What?” Baekhyun makes a grimace as if the mere thought is appalling to him. “No! Ew!”

“Hey, what do you mean 'ew'?” Chanyeol exclaims indignantly and he lets go of Baekhyun's hand to poke Baekhyun in the ribs over and over until Baekhyun curls in on himself, giggling.

“No, no,” he wheezes. “Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, just, uhm... you're not really my type.”

“Oh yeah?” Chanyeol stops his assault and lets Baekhyun catch his breath. “What's your type, then?” Baekhyun opens his mouth as if to answer, but then seems to think better of it and closes it again. He averts his gaze, clears his throat. Narrowing his eyes, Chanyeol leans in to get a closer look at Baekhyun. “Are you... are you blushing right now, Byun Baekhyun?”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun snaps, covering his face with his hands.

Chanyeol grins brightly. “Oh, do you have a crush on someone? Is it someone I know? Does he go to our school? Who is it?” Baekhyun pensively peers at Chanyeol through the cracks of his fingers and Chanyeol bumps his knuckles against Baekhyun's shoulder as some form of encouragement. “Go on, you can tell me. I promise I'll only tease you a little bit.”

Baekhyun still seems hesitant, but in the end he does move his hands. He keeps biting his lip to stifle the almost timid smile that is slowly spreading on his face as he talks about this one senior at their school, who is, to quote Baekhyun, “really ing hot, oh my God, I just want to him”. Chanyeol knows who the guy is and to be honest he doesn't see this supposed attractiveness at all, but that's probably because he's not into guys.

Nonetheless, he listens to what Baekhyun has to tell him. After all, that's what best friends are for.

~*~

A/N: this is the result of me watching coming out videos on youtube (specifically troye sivan's video... bby ;;). I was instantly inspired to write a story about a guy coming out to his best friend and the best friend being totally cool with it and the idea wouldn't leave me alone and it kept growing and growing in my head. so at the end of the day I had spat out the rough outline that would eventually turn into this story. yeah. oh, and the title is from macklemore's song "same love", which is amazing and beautiful and if you haven't listened to it, go do it right now. that's all I have to say. if you have any questions about anything regarding this story, leave a comment and I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.

also, this is intended to be chanyeol's birthday story. happy birthday, park chanyeol, you dumb . ♡

and a great big thank you to:
huykhae - shawols_unite - doricious - creepyeoll - fearlessbaka - incubus - kiyozora - bunbunquinn - taokaihun - meggan
for the upvotes. ; - ;