8 | Time

Chanyeol knows what day it is as soon as he wakes up. The calendar on his phone confirms the familiar feeling. 

It’s always the same feeling year after year, and not even Baekhyun’s comforting warmth can help. It’s been five years today.

The star instantly senses something is off with the boy next to him. He hugs the tall boy around his middle a little tighter. “Are you feeling OK?” he asks.

Chanyeol tries to assure him everything’s fine with a half-hearted smile, but it doesn’t work. The star frowns back but doesn’t push matters.

Breakfast is eaten in relative silence, only polite requests to pass condiments or napkins uttered. Baekhyun tries not to look as antsy as he feels. He wants to do something to help the somber atmosphere but doesn’t want to upset anyone. Chanyeol and his mother don’t seem like the type to openly share their feelings.

Ms. Park takes their empty plates to the sink, and Chanyeol helps wash and dry them. He’s grown so used to her wearing nothing but bright colors these days, her black dress and shawl only makes him dwell on the past more.

The woman notices Baekhyun lingering in the hallway awkwardly. She gives her son a small smile and shoos him away to let her finish the dishes. “Why don’t you two go pick some nice flowers for him?”

Chanyeol gives her shoulders once last comforting squeeze before nodding and going to get Baekhyun.

He’s usually excited for any excuse to visit the meadow, but today is an exception. Baekhyun bounces happily and runs in circles around Chanyeol as they make their way down the familiar dirt path. The tall boy sighs and presses on, no bounce in his step like usual heading out here. He can tell the star is trying to help his somber mood, but it doesn’t need fixing. He’s supposed to feel like this, only if once a year. But if he’s honest with himself, it wasn’t until the star fell into his life that he stopped feeling like this nearly every day.

Baekhyun frowns when he sees the other boy kneel down to comb the grass, picking only the prettiest wildflowers. He runs over to another patch and collects them in fistfuls, returning to Chanyeol with big bouquets and a huge grin. The boy gives him a half-hearted smile in return and sorts through Baekhyun’s flowers, discarding nearly three-quarters of them in favor of the most appealing ones. The star pouts and he feels inexplicably sad staring at the wildflowers on the ground, abandoned for their flaws.

“Is everything OK?” he asks again.

“Of course, Baek. Are you ready to go back?”

The boy holds the small bunch to his chest. They should head back soon to get his mother. It isn’t a far walk to the cemetery. He looks down at the purple and blue flowers and hopes his father will like them.

“I’m just trying to cheer you up.”

“I don’t need cheering up.” Chanyeol sighs heavily and tries to stay calm. “Let’s go back.”

The star persists, tugging on his arm and giggling. “You certainly look like you do. C’mon, Channie, just give me a little smile–”

“Damn it, Baek, just stop, just shut the hell up!”

The silence and tension following his outburst are excruciating, and Chanyeol instantly wants to take it back. Baekhyun stares at him, eyes wide. He isn’t familiar with those less-than-kind words, but Chanyeol’s tone is more than enough to let him know the boy is upset with him. Angry, even. The star shrinks away, unsure of his presence in front of Chanyeol for the first time.

The tall boy rubs a hand over his face. “Baek, I’m sorry. Today is… It’s a difficult day for my mother and me.”

Baekhyun just nods, not wanting to upset him further.

“I’m…grieving, OK? I’m mourning. I don’t want to cheer up.”

Baekhyun his head to the side a little. “But why?” His body language clearly shows he’s still rattled from Chanyeol’s outburst, maybe even scared, which makes the other boy feel truly awful.

“Well…” It always throws him off trying to explain things to the star, things he never gave a second thought to before. This particular explanation is painful for him. Even though it’s been years, it’s always just as hard. “When you lose someone very dear to you, you mourn for them. It’s out of respect. It shows you still remember. That you still care.”

Baekhyun nods, trying to wrap his mind around why Chanyeol would ever want to feel sad. Of all the things Chanyeol has taught him in his time here, this one makes no sense.

“I think you’re doing it wrong.”

Chanyeol laughs incredulously. “What?”

The star kneels down to pick up all the discarded flowers, arranging them in a neat bunch and sprucing them up with care. “Wouldn’t that person you lost want you to be happy? They wouldn’t want you to feel sad, especially when remembering them.”

The auburn-haired boy just stares at the star. For the first time, Baekhyun is the one trying to get him to understand, not the other way around.

“You’re….” He stares at the star in wonder. “You’re right. I… How…?”

Baekhyun just smiles and grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together tightly. “Come on, let’s go back.”

Chanyeol can’t take his eyes off Baekhyun the entire way home.

Once night falls Chanyeol pulls out the old camping gear from the attic. It’s only ever been used once or twice, but he thinks a night away from everything else will be nice, to make up for what he said. He still can’t shake the image of a scared Baekhyun, scared of him, out of his head.

As they make their way back out to the meadow with camping gear in tow, Chanyeol thinks back to that morning visiting his father’s grave. How Baekhyun had looked at him when he told him everything. How he squeezed his hand tight when they set their flowers down together.

They reach the meadow and decide to set up the small tent in a grassy patch a ways from the pond. Chanyeol keeps sneaking looks over at the star every once in a while, and when Baekhyun catches him he grins and crinkles his nose cutely.

“Thank you for today,” the tall boy says as they spread out Chanyeol’s checked blanket and lie down side by side. “And I’m sorry.” His hand finds the star’s and laces their fingers together. “I’m so sorry for what I said. I hope you can forgive me.”

Baekhyun shushes him playfully with a finger pressed to his lips. “Of course. I understand you were sad and I pushed you. I just never want to see you unhappy.”

“Having you here, this is the happiest I’ve felt in a long time,” the boy says truthfully before he can stop himself. Baekhyun looks like he might burst into tears for a moment before leaning over and kissing the other sweetly.

Just as Chanyeol moves over the other boy, he feels raindrops on the back of his neck and looks up to the skies in irritation. They retreat into the tent just as it starts raining harder.

The auburn-haired teen zips the entrance up tight and switches on the lantern in the corner to bathe them in a soft, warm light. The sound of rain against the tent is soothing, as is the sound of Baekhyun’s sigh as he stretches and shrugs a warm blanket around himself. As calming as this evening is, Chanyeol can still sense a tension between them. He hopes it isn’t because of him.

“Tell me about your home,” he says to break the silence. “Where you came from.” Baekhyun doesn’t talk much about his life before coming to Earth and has only ever hinted at it. He seems almost uncomfortable letting Chanyeol into that part of his life, but why that is Chanyeol can’t fathom.

“There’s not much to tell,” the star opposite him responds.

Chanyeol scoffs and reminds him that any piece of information will be fascinating to a human, especially one infatuated with space and stars. Baekhyun blushes and concedes.

“Time passes slowly and too quickly all at once. It’s difficult to describe. I watched entire lifetimes from my place among the other stars, and I was fascinated with human life. Any bit of information the elders could give me – I couldn’t get enough. They told me myths of stars who left for Earth with a purpose to fulfill. Of stars turning human. But they were just stories, and they laughed at how gullible I was. Still, I clung to them, hoping they were more than that.” He lifts a hand, staring hopelessly at his pale, dull skin. Skin that once shone so bright Chanyeol could barely sleep. Chanyeol gulps and looks down. He can feel his emotions catch in his throat.

“I never felt I truly belonged there.”

“I can relate.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “I know you do, but I don’t know why. You have all your friends who clearly love your company. And your mother who loves you so much. I wish I had something even remotely close to what you have. All I had was time, but that means nothing when you have no purpose.”

The tall teenager looks up at him seriously. “Have you found your purpose?”

The star smiles and crinkles his nose again, and every time he does it catches Chanyeol off guard. “I think I have,” he replies softly.

“That night we met, when you were in the meadow, you wished for something. You wanted to feel like you matter. And you do, for some reason you can’t see it, but you do. I wanted to show you that. I wanted to make that come true for you." He looks down at his lap, voice shaking. "You’re the reason I came here in the first place, Chanyeol. You’re the reason I fell. I chose to leave the sky and fall into this meadow. The meadow you spent countless hours in to stargaze. So fascinated with the stars – with me – I had to know you. I had to meet you just once. But just once turned into so much more and I didn’t want to leave.”

Chanyeol pulls him into his arms. He can’t bear the anguish on the star’s face. That time Baekhyun had let him in, had let Chanyeol step into his otherworldly aura and connect with him and experience everything he felt. There had been something still closed off. Something he didn’t want Chanyeol to know yet. Had this been it?

“I don’t want to leave you…but…”

Baekhyun looks down at himself, facing his palms up to stare at the diminishing light beneath them. His once bright, heavenly glow reduced to this. He drops his hands to his lap, defeated.

“I think I have to.”

Chanyeol searches the other’s eyes, the beautiful, heavenly mist that swirls behind them mesmerizes him once again. He tries not to get emotional, but the tears filling the star’s eyes are making it very difficult. He tries to focus instead on how the tears magnify the glittering irises, and the effect is stunning.

“I’m leaking,” Baekhyun jokes with a small laugh as he hastily blinks away the tears. Chanyeol smiles and wipes them away with his thumb. It seems only yesterday he was running home with the unconscious star in his arms and having to explain normal human responses like crying.

He reaches over to turn the lantern off, leaving them in darkness save for the star’s diminished glow. He draws the other into a kiss to help forget about it, if only for a little while.

Baekhyun sighs his name when they part for air. Their fingers intertwine again as Chanyeol guides him to lie back, sighing again when the boy’s other hand rests against the small of his back and the kiss shifts to one more passionate than they’ve ever shared before. Baekhyun knows Chanyeol is a reserved person and takes time to show how he feels, but unfortunately they’re running out of time.

Chanyeol breaks their kiss and lets his lips trail down. He kisses his neck, feeling suddenly bold and tugging Baekhyun’s plaid shirt out of the way to on it in spots to draw soft noises that make him blush. The tent is bathed in the soft pink glow that Chanyeol has come to recognize and welcome. The star always thought Chanyeol’s kisses felt good, but this is entirely different.

The boy pulls away, admiring the star’s flushed skin and mussed hair. He wants to remember this sight forever.

He lies down next to Baekhyun ready to curl up around him and drift off, but said boy has other plans. “Not yet,” he whispers and clambers onto Chanyeol, lips immediately finding his neck to return the favor. He bites his lip in response, letting his hands rest on the sides of Baekhyun's neck and thumbs his cheeks. He loses track of time and loses himself in the sound of the rain around them and the sensation of the other boy's lips on him. His hands move from Baekhyun's neck, sliding down to his shoulders, down his back to rest on his hips that has the star shivering against him. 

“Baekhyun.”

The star pulls away and they lock eyes. Chanyeol looks like he wants to say something but instead sighs and pulls him close. Baekhyun hugs him back and curls up against him, fitting together effortlessly.

“I wish we had more time.”

You guys. I actually updated. I’m as shocked as you are.

I’m sorry for such a long hiatus and that this is so angsty. But here you go! Only one chapter left. :o

p.s. shout out to CMinnie who thought I’d never update again. Joke’s on you.