Jessica POV

Been intoxicated by the spirit of liquor for the night. I needed to consume much and it is for me to have strength, to gather all of my guts to tell him everything. To tell him the truth of what I really feel for him.

I contacted him through his landline number at his new home. Through every beeping sound, my heartbeat goes faster and faster. Yet, it was until the voice message prompted.

I felt somewhat relieved. I guess the guts I've been gathering is already enough since he'll be hearing this at a later time. With that, I conveyed my real feelings wholeheartedly.

And then, I'm down to my last of my message, "I want to ask this last favor from you..."

I breathed deeply… Here it goes...

"Please... Please don't ever forget that I love you, Yoong. I always love you....

   ... And I will always do… for the rest of my life."

My tears have betrayed me again. They continuously flowed down from my eyes as I uttered those last words. This is it. The last one.

I waited for few moments. Somehow, I wished for him to answer back. Nothing went on, however. A bitter smile escaped from my lips.

Yet, before I ended the call, he answered, whispering my name softly,

"Jessica."

And on that single utter, my heart has skipped a beat, my breathing became uneven. "Jessica." he called again. Yet, I couldn't respond even a single word.

"You're maybe right." He continued as he chuckled bitterly. "We're not meant to be..."

...

"Our fate was really written this way. That, you're meant to be happy with someone else and not with me..."

...

"And so am I."

...

"Goodbye, Jessica. Like you, I'm also... also wishing for you to be happy with the path you wanted to take. Even if I much wanted to walk the same path with you, I know my love will never be enough for you to want the same. And I'm deeply sorry for that... because I can never make you truly happy."

...

"I love you. I love you so much. And that won't ever change."

...

"You'll always hold a special place in my heart... No one can replace you on that." He chuckled bitterly again, then, sobbed a little. "Maybe, in another lifetime... Maybe, in there... we may be allowed by fate to be together then."

And after few seconds, he ended the call. I collapsed to my knees and couldn't stop myself form crying my heart out. This is it. It is really our final goodbye.

---

*10th-of-March-2013*

I slowly opened my eyes. The ray of light that was emitted by the sun has awaken me.  It was already morning. Slowly, I sat up. I looked at my phone. It was already 10 o' clock in the morning. My head hurts so badly. I couldn't get myself straight up. I still felt groggy as ever.

I then faintly heard the sound of the blender outside my bedroom. Even with my body complaining, I stood and headed for the door. As I got out, I saw Taeyeon preparing something at the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I headed for the nearest couch. I then fallen myself lifelessly on it.

"I came to check on you." he said. The sound of the blender stopped. Then, afterwards, he went near holding a glass of juice and offered it to me. "You better drink this for your hangover."

I lazily sat up, "What's that?"

"Pickle juice."

"Eiw."

"Come on."

I sighed in defeat. I took the juice and drank it. It was so ing disgusting.

He sat on the other couch then continued to stare at me while wearing that weird smile of his again. "Good girl." he said.

"Taeyeon, how many times do you want me to tell you that you don't have to check me every time? You shouldn't feel like responsible for me or anything."

"Hey, I'm just being a concerned friend."

"This is even more than what concerned friends do."

"But, this is how I am."

I groaned, "It doesn't matter. I don't want you to waste your time taking care of me anymore. Okay?"

"I'm not wasting my time. I really just wanted to do this. I have all the time in the world now, anyways. I stopped schooling for the rest of the semester, remember?"

"Still, I don't want you here anymore."

His expression turned into sadness. He stood up. "Alright. I'll just go fix everything up at the kitchen then I'll leave."

I went to the bathroom and fixed myself up. Afterwards, I took my phone from the bedroom. And, it was only then that I noticed the date today. It was his birthday yesterday.

I quickly went to the kitchen. "Taeyeon, I'm so sorry. I forgot to greet you yesterday. Belated happy birthday."

He smiled as he busied himself on cleaning the counter. "It's okay. I understand. Thanks, anyway."

"I'm really so sorry. I even became a to you earlier."

He chuckled, "Hey, it's all okay. It's not like if it's my birthday, you're obliged to greet me and be nice to me."

"Still, let me make up to you. Tell me your wish."

He looked at me in a gentle manner. "Just let me take care of you today. That'll be enough for me."

I gazed away from him, "Taeyeon…"

"No questions asked, no complaints. Please, just let me."

---

As Taeyeon insisted, he did stay with me here at my apartment. He prepared lunch for me, tidied up the house, and even brought my used clothes to the laundry. I don't know why, but, just by watching him do those things, I felt guilty every time. Yet, it's more like, searching for the reason why. After our horrible past, he's still like this to me. Why?

"Here comes our afternoon snack!" He excitedly said as he went near me in the living room. He placed the plate of hotcakes on the coffee table. "Blueberry syrup's your favorite, right?"

"Thanks..."

"Come. Eat up." He sliced one part of hotcake and ate it cheerfully, "Mmmmm so good. Try it."

"Taeyeon..."

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" he reiterated as he sliced a part again and ate.

"Why are you doing this?"

"..."

"Why are you still like this to me? I already broke your heart many times. And even if I already ended what I had with Yoong and still not chose you, you're still here. I know you're going to say it's all for the friendship but, don't you think this is too much?"

"..."

"I don't want to disappoint you in the end, okay. I don't want to give you false hope."

He chuckled, "It's not about that. I mean, I'm not exactly hoping for us to be back together, okay."

"Then, what is this? Why are you so kind, so thoughtful to me?"

He looked at me straight in the eyes and uttered, "It's because I love you, Jessica."

And those words have struck my heart straight at its center. It was heartbreaking. It was too bittersweet. My tears have fallen again.

He faked a chuckle, "Hey, don't cry." He went near and sat beside me. He wiped my tears with the back of his hand. "I love you." He fixed my hair and guided my chin to make me look him. "I love you, but, that doesn't mean I wanted you to love me back this time."

"..."

"I just... I just wanted to love you. And you allowing me to be with you, to take care of you, is already enough for me."

"..."

"I'm not exactly waiting for anything. I just..." He breathed deeply. "I just love you so much that, I don't think I can be happy with anyone else. So... I'd rather... I'd rather be like this."

"Taeyeon." I broke down and hugged him tight, crying on his arms as he hugged me in return. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey. Don't be sorry, okay. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I love him, Taeyeon. I love him so much. I'm sorry if I can never return your feelings."

"It's all okay. Come on. Don't be like that." He broke away then cupped my face. "I already knew that since then... I don't know... Maybe, even before you started dating him."

"H-how?"

"I just know…" He then chuckled and wiped my tears again. "Now, please smile."

"..."

"For me."

I complied and he smiled in return. "Good girl." He patted my head.

He broke away and lied his back on the couch. I did the same. "So, what's up? Why did you drink hard again last night?"

"Well, you know..."

"The usual?"

"I talked to him..."

"Oh..."

"…"

"Wait. you actually met him in person or something?"

I chuckled, "No, I cannot do that. I don't have the guts to. It was just through the phone."

"What happened then?"

"I... I said my final goodbye. Actually, it was only through a voice message, but, he got to answer it in the end."

"So, what did he say?"

I smiled faintly, "He agreed... He agreed that we weren't the ones destined for each other. That, maybe there's someone else fated for us to love. I then wished him for his happiness... He did the same... That's it. End of story. The end of us."

"..."

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