Taeyeon POV

"So, how are you feeling?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Have you tried to contact your friends yet?"

I shook my head in response.

"You have to at least try, Taeyeon."

"..."

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

"I... I'm not afraid. I just... don't see the point why I should still try to get along with them. After all that I've done, I'm sure they rather not want to see me at all."

"Can you tell me one thing you did that made them dislike you?"

"I'm a terrible friend. I couldn't be of any help at their times of need. Instead, I'm making them even worse. I… I really cannot explain it well. All I'm just sure is that, I am the rotten one in our group."

"Have anyone of them told you how they really feel about you?"

"Yes... probably, a thousand times already."

"Were those times the same as what you are assuming?"

"...Sort of."

"But, have you apologized?"

"Yes... but then, I don't know why I kept on repeating my mistakes. That is why I decided to get away from them. I don't want to disappoint them anymore."

"Okay, how about this... Why don't you try to talk to the one you are closest with in your group first? It's probable that he can help you out on approaching your other friends."

"Yeah that might work..."

       But he's already dead.

---

I'm going insane. I guess that's the most plausible explanation why I'm acting like this. No matter how much I try, I couldn't get to overcome this terrible feeling I have. See? I even tried to talk to a shrink.

It's been four months since I left Seoul to live here in Busan. And ever since then, I didn't bother to know what's going on with my friends. As a result, it was only few weeks ago, 4th of January to be exact, when I only knew about the death of my best friend, Kwon Yuri.

Now, tell me how awful I am.

For a whole freaking month, I never knew about him being already gone in this World. Actually, about everything that happened!

He got abducted in Anseong prison. He was sentenced to eight years of imprisonment. His beloved was set to be married with our other best friend exactly on his birthday. But, that wedding got canceled for some reason. Then, in one glimpse, he's dead. Yuri's now freaking dead!

...

I...

...

I feel so awful.

I couldn't even get myself to visit his grave. I... I don't know if I even have a right to.

I'm really a terrible friend.

Yet, it seems like for the days passed, I get to be haunted by the memories I had shared with my old friend. To me, it's like the heaven is slapping me the things that I have thrown away just because of my own stupidity.

Yuri was the very first friend I ever had. Well, no one really wanted to be friends with me saying I'm weird and such. Though, I really do admit that. But, he accepted me wholeheartedly.

*flashback*

"Would you like to buy fish?" a random guy, probably the same age as me, approached me while holding a freshly caught fish.

I looked at him in the eyes. He seemed to be a nice person. But then, the silly me, I couldn't even utter a word.

"Hey, I can give you a discount."

"...I don't eat fish."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "But why?"

"..."

"Are you allergic?"

I shook my head.

"Hmm... Are you hungry then?"

I shook my head again.

He grinned widely. "Then, I will make you feel hungry."

"H-huh?"

He suddenly grabbed my hand and led me to the back of a truck. He then climbed on it and opened its door.

It was weird. There was an apartment inside the truck.

"Hop on." he said.

I complied and with his help, I got inside his 'little house'. "I'm sorry if the place is too small. But, feel at home, please." He said. then, he suddenly realized, "Oh. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Yuri." He forwarded his hand. "And you are?"

"Taeyeon."

He forwarded his hand again.

"Wh-what's that?"

"Let's make a handshake."

I copied his gesture. Then, he immediately took my hand and shook it. "It's settled then. We're friends now."

"R-really?"

"Yep. Please, have a seat. I'll just prepare the meal first."

I took a seat on a free chair and wandered my eyes around. It really does seem he lives inside this truck. Then, I noticed a little child sleeping on a couch.

Yuri seemed to have noticed my wonder and suddenly snapped, "He's my son."

"Wh-what?!"

He chuckled, "It's complicated, I know, but he's my son. His name's Sunkyu, by the way."

"How old are you?"

"I'm turning fifteen this year."

So, we were really just in the same age.

He snapped again, "Oh. And also, I do live here… with my son. Just in case, you're wondering about that too."

"Don't you have any…?"

"Relatives?"

I nodded.

"No, I don't. They're already gone."

He finished preparing the meal and served it. "It's fish and tofu in tomato sauce. I don't know what to call this dish, though. Anyways, please eat. Don't be shy."

"Th-thanks." I took a bite.

"So???"

"It's great."

"It's more awesome to eat fish meat. It's healthier and a lot cheaper than pork or beef."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "So, you made me eat your lunch just for marketing purposes?"

"Err- yeah. But…" He stared at me first. Then, he just sighed at the end. "Actually, I'm new here in this city. I don't have any friends around. Then, I kinda noticed you were always alone so…"

"Always?"

"Yeah. I noticed you passing by days ago. You seemed to be uhhh-- aloof, like, you're kind of avoiding everyone." He chuckled again. "For a second, I thought you're gonna run away when I approached you earlier."

"If you have already noticed that, then… why do you still want to be friends with me?"

"…"

"To be honest, I'm weird. I'm a really weird person. I never have friends. I don't know how to approach people. I don't talk much. I tend to end up always alone. But, actually, I preferred that. My parents even think I'm having a mental disorder too."

He then flashed a smile again.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

"That's the first time you actually talked to me in more than one sentence.  Nine, that's a big number."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You're counting the sentences I say?"

"Not exactly but, yeah."

"You're weird."

He chuckled, "See?"

"What 'see'?"

"There's not really a single weird person in this world. Wait. Let me resen