Sooyoung POV

I took another shot of rum. Probably, this is my hundredth for the night. Yet, my night of sin will not be complete without smoking. It's certain though that I am about to finish my third pack of cigarettes. Yes, I've gone back to my old, dumb, nonsense life of vice. Consider my old self back from the grave.

Now, I'm currently just hanging out in one bar here in Seoul where the four of us, Yuri, Yoong, Taeyeon and I, usually hang out back then. Hoping that, possibly, I can unwind my mind from the heaviness of the death of one of my comrades. Yet, I know this is indeed a wrong place for me...

"I knew I'll find you here."

"Shut up. Just go away, Yuri."

"Mind if I have a shot?"

"…"

He grinned then, asked for shot glass from the bartender. Afterwards, he snatched my bottle of rum, poured his glass with it and drank. "Whoa. This is hell strong."

I snatched it back, "Just leave me alone, okay."

He chuckled, "You know, underage drinking can really put you behind bars, man."

"And so are you! Leave if you don't wanna get caught for this."

He ignored me and continued, "We're only sixteen. Don't make yourself enter the world of vice this early."

I groaned, "Just ing leave me alone already!"

"No, I won't."

"Aisshh-- do you want me to kick your ?!"

He flashed his warm smile at me, "You never left me when I was so troubled back then. In fact, I owe you my life and my brother's. Have you forgotten that?"

"…"

"Your mother loved you so much."

"Pfft. You've only seen her once. How the hell would you know about that?"

"I don't need a lifetime to conclude to that statement, you know. Anyone can easily notice her love for you with just a glimpse."

I looked away, "Y-yeah, right. Whatever. She may have loved me but she's already dead! That doesn't ing change the fact she's already gone!"

"What I am trying to say is, she'll never want to see you resort to this kind of life."

"…"

"Continue living a normal life, man. With that, I bet your mother will be happy up there while looking over you."

"..."

"You're lucky, actually. You still have a dad and, perhaps, other relatives left. Unlike me, my parents were already dead when I was still a kid. You should be happy you spent sixteen years with your mother, man. Not all people are blessed with that opportunity and also, a loving mother like her."

I scoffed, "You are luckier. You only spent few years with your parents. Fewer years just means the lesser the bond, the lesser the pain."

He then chuckled bitterly, "So I am luckier..." He looked at me. "Why didn't I think of it that way?"

I avoided his gaze. "You'll never understand me, Yuri. Just leave. I don't need any of your preaching..."

"Sulking like this will bring you nothing. In the end, you'll regret all of these." He snatched my cigarette from me and stubbed it out on the ash tray. "This stick will surely get you to your grave in the future. Definitely, you will regret this. Tsk, tsk. Lung cancer? That cannot be treated, man." He then picked up the bottle of rum. "And this? Liver cancer. That will definitely hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure you'll be cursing this bottle of rum someday."

"..."

"Man up. At least pay respect to the proper conduct your mother taught you."

"Would you like another bottle, sir?" the bartender asked me.

I stubbed out the cigarette I'm holding as I shook my head, "No, no. This is enough for the night." He then nodded and excused himself.

Man... I just realized how similar I am to that Yoong.

Hmm. At least, I'm not profoundly gay as him though, acting like he lost his lover with Yuri's death...

     *"Yuri-hyung was like a big brother of mine. To me, it's like I lost a family..."*

"Well, you're not alone, moron. I lost a brother too... a bossy and nagging brother."

---

I went out of the bar and immediately, afterwards, my phone rang. It was Yoong.

I answered, "Yup?"

"Hey, Soo."

"What's up? Have you gone to Tiffany's place?"

"Well, I am just about to leave their house now so, yeah…"

"How was your visit? How was she?"

He sighed loudly, "No progress… still the same."

"That's okay, man. Cheer up. It's only been a week since you visited her again. Maybe, a little more time and she'll soon give in."

"I don't know, man. I really don't feel I'm helping her at all."

"Hey, at least, there are many who are trying to. If you will just quit, man, surely Yuri will haunt you to your death."

He sighed again, "I'm not saying that I will quit. It's just that… Maybe I…"

"Maybe you what?"

"Maybe I'm making it worse for her. Maybe, with me visiting her, is actually making her state worse."

"And why would it be?"

"Because I couldn't hel--"

"Aisshh-- seriously, that again? You're not God, immortal or someone almighty. Stop blaming yourself with something out of your control."

"…"

"Just think of it this way, okay? You are the only one right now that can open up Tiffany's heart."

"So, what are you pertaining then? That I should court her or something?"

I chuckled and said in defense, "Oh no, no man. I didn't say that. You're the one who put words in my mouth. Yuri will definitely rise from his grave and chase you to your death with that idea of yours."

"Stop trolling me, okay. I just don't get your point why me."

"Just…" I sighed, "You're closer to her than me or Taeyeon. It's not about you being available to replace Yuri on her heart or something. I mean, I can do that too but, come on, Tiffany and I tried to be together back then but it didn't work out. That's not my point though. But, man, if Jessica or Hyoyeon's around, you have nothing to worry about because you will not be needed there--"

"Ouch."

I chuckled again, "What? I have to be frank on you now. You're being stupid and annoying. Stop over-thinking, okay?"

He sighed again, "Alright, alright… I'll be visiting her a