Chapter 21

Double-Edged

I should have known. She was acting strange last night for a reason, and I disregarded it because I was being lazy. I grab what I need from the room and run downstairs to find her. There is a sufficient amount of customers in the lobby. I spot the lady at the front desk and slam my hand on the counter to get her attention.

“Have you seen a woman with short hair pass by here? She might have worn a dark cloak of some kind. I was with her. We stayed upstairs.”

The lady smiles sympathetically at me. “Oh honey, I am so sorry.”

I stare at her. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“For a woman to reject a man in such a way … rather rude, but it does get the message across, doesn’t it?”

I shake my head. She has misunderstood our relationship. “When did she leave?”

“Perhaps an hour ago.”

“Thank you.” I give her a nod of gratitude, and then I jog outside. Rain falls to my body in copious amounts. Without a care for my own comfort, I splash through wide puddles and sticky mud to find Nari. I force myself to stop blaming my incompetency for having lost her to the night. If failure is already in sight, then my mind will trick me into thinking that finding her is impossible.

An hour is not a long advantage. If Nari will keep her habits, I predict she would have leisurely taken her time to eat something delicious before going on her journey. She probably did not even think to consider what I would feel after I woke to an empty room. She simply wants familiar comfort, and that is something I cannot grant her.

A large hole in the ground filled with dirty water causes my feet to temporarily halt. The water, thick with grime, spots my face in a series of splashes. I allow the rain to wash it off and continue in my chase to find Nari.

I run for ten minutes before I find a clue. The rain must have started shortly after she left, because there is a trail of footprints that lead from the main road to the forest. I wonder if she intends to make it to the Capital alone. That’s impossible. She doesn’t have the skill to accomplish that.

I follow the footsteps until the heavy scatter of rain washes them away. I look around me. In a dim light, everything looks the same. I walk purposefully away from the town only to pause my pursuit. I may have identified the footsteps of another person. If it were Nari, she would have found shelter and waited for the rain to subside before continuing her journey.

I return to the town and search every public building I can within the next hour. Not finding her, I even begin to knock on houses and inquire the residents whether they have housed a woman with short hair. They all shake their heads no, and since I would only gather suspicion for my desperate actions, I recede to the forest.

It has stopped raining. Weary, my knees fold under me. I lean my head against the trunk of a thick tree and close my eyes. Because the rain had showered me with its splintered taste, my boots are immersed with water. One of the things I hate the most is the unattractive sound my feet make when I walk with soaked shoes.

After I check my belongings, I chase after Nari again. The only thing I can presume about her whereabouts is that she must be searching for the Capital. I can’t let her do that. I can’t lose her. Han would kill me for ruining his plans.

I’m starting to become irate because of Nari. I am not sure I can manage such a demanding girl. Everything about her rubs me in the wrong way, and yet my eyes seem to lose themselves in the grace her body exudes. Sometimes, when I look at her, I think of Ada. Nari is the cleaner, richer version of Ada.

I smile to myself. Ada probably would have run from me, too. My smile fades when I remember the fires that destroyed Shin. I had failed her mother. I failed her. Of course she would run from me.

I still remember the look in her eyes when I saw her for the last time. Confused, for my not having fought back. Betrayed, because I had walked away from her. Lost, because I was her last security.

And she didn’t even know my real name.

I clench my jaw and intently walk through the forest. I cannot dwell on the past. If I do, I will never be able to face the future.

I start to sprint. Nari won’t know where to go. That will delay her. If I am quick enough, I’ll be able to catch her.

It’s the middle of the afternoon when I find a silhouette of a person. The silhouette is hidden partially behind a boulder. From the flash of light that reflects off of the rings around her fingers, I know it is Nari. I tread towards her as quietly as possible until I am close enough to touch her, and then I say, “You seem comfortable.”

Nari jumps up to escape, but I grab her hand and pull her as close to me as possible. Her hair sticks to her face, with sweat or rain, I am not sure. Still, no amount of physical discomfort can hide her anger.

“Why did you come to find me?”

I scoff. “That’s my job.”

“I can make it to the Capital by myself.”

“Ah, so I was right.”

She tries to pull away, but I curl my fist tighter around her wrist until my nails pressure her skin. She bites her lip.

“I don’t need saving.”

“I don’t intend to save you.” I move my hand into hers until our fingers are intertwined. I lift our hands to eye level. “This is called trust. You’ve been entrusted into my protection.”

“I didn’t entrust myself anywhere.”

“Perhaps not, but this is the way things are. You trust me with your safety. I know you do.”

“I do,” she grimaces, “but you’re hurting me right now.”

“Of course it hurts, you dunce!”

Shoot. Get out of my head, Ada. Get out of there.

“Do I look strong to you?”

Yes. You were always strong, Ada. You just never knew how to use your strength. I was supposed to teach you, and I didn’t. I couldn’t.

What is wrong with me? Why am I being reminded of Ada so many times today?

“Are you okay?” Nari asks.

“Shut up,” I mutter to the memory of Ada in my head. Nari stares at me.

“What?”

“Not you,” I sigh. “Never mind. Just stop trying to escape, Nari. I’m not letting you go to the Capital on your own. We will go together when the time is right. I will personally bring you there.”

“Will you?”

“Of course I will.”

“Do you promise that?”

I stare at her. I feel as if I have already betrayed her when I answer. “Yes.”

“Fine,” she replies after a lengthy silence. “But I can’t wait forever, Tao. I need to go home.”

“I know.” You’ll never reach home, Nari. I will never take you back to the Capital.

Her stomach grumbles. She sheepishly says, “Um. Do you have food?”

“I hope you like apples, because that’s all I have,” I answer. I release her hand and pull an apple from my makeshift supply bag.

“I feel like I’m a kid again,” she mumbles, “eating apples that aren’t even mine.”

I stop retying the bag. “You were mischievous, then.”

“Oh, yes,” she laughs. “But I needed to be.” She wipes with her sleeve. “Where do we go now, Tao?”

I pull my knife from my boot. “I’m going to hunt, and then we’ll rest here. It’s already getting dark.”

“All right.” She pats the boulder. “This is a good place to stay, I think. We’re shielded.”

“That’s not always the best thing.”

“No?”

She is so naïve. “No.” I need to test her trust in me, so I say, “I’m leaving for thirty minutes to get us something to eat. I hope you’ll be here when I return.”

She crosses her arms and sits down. “I’ll be here. I’ve been lost for a while; I didn’t know where I was going at all.”

“I know.”

In thirty minutes, I return as I warned. She is still there like she claimed she would be. I have brought with me wild vegetables I had found growing by the base of a dead tree, but I haven’t any meat.

“This trip is turning out to be very healthy,” she observes when I sit across from her. “Apples. Vegetables.”

“It’s all I could find.”

“I’m not complaining,” she says. “I’m thankful. Thank you, Tao.”

Not knowing how to accept gratitude, I grunt.

Since I’m not hungry, I find a stone to sharpen my knives while Nari eats. When the sun sets into a daring purple, Nari cuddles against the rough boulder. I finish sharpening my knife, but when I reach for the knife Nari had lent to me, I scrutinize the rough finish of the handle.

“You’re wondering where I got that, aren’t you?” Nari asks.

I shrug. “It isn’t a particularly beautiful knife.”

“Someone very special gave it to me,” she responds. “A very long time ago.” She doesn’t seem to enjoy the topic, so I nod and sharpen the knife without conversing with her.

When it becomes too dark, I gather our belongings before lying down. I look up to see Nari’s head leaning uncomfortably to the side. I sit up and position myself next to her, and then I gently guide her head to my lap. She snuggles into me as if I were a pillow. Although I can barely see her, my eyes dwell on where I know her head to be. I carefully rest my hand on her hair and comb it away from her face and neck with my fingers. Then, I place my hand on the deep curve of her waist and close my eyes.

I fall asleep to the beat of her breathing that pulses beneath my palm. 

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Osekop12 #1
Congrats on the feature!!
Galaxyboo_
#2
Chapter 32: This so GOOD! I CAN'T BELIVE I READ THIS IN ONE DAY?!
Galaxyboo_
#3
Chapter 22: shieeeeettttttt IM SCREAMING
Maddy_the_Lion
#4
Chapter 32: I like how this didn't follow the stereotypical fanfic storyline. I truly enjoyed it. Thank you.
sgrfhm #5
congrats
liquorandice #6
I don't read x OC fics that often but this is sooo nicee
I REALLY love that the storyline is focused on Tao himself and his growth rather than turning romance into the main thing. Officially one if my favs ❤ thank you for writing this! ^^
LocaLina
#7
Chapter 32: Chapter 32: Lemme just say that I LOVED IT!!!! So long since I’ve found a good Tao fic thank you!!!
sweet23d
#8
Congrats
rpforall_
#9
Congrats