Chapter 2

Double-Edged

 

I stay still for what feels like an hour, trying to forget the shame that encroached my body. I wait for the pain to turn numb, but it doesn’t; my face still stings, and my body feels like a dead weight. If I stay here, I could bleed to my death, and that cannot happen. I need to go to Shin and fulfill my mission.

Actuated by this reminder, I pull myself forward with the scattered remains of strength in my arms and drag my legs across the prickly dead grass. It’s a constant movement that turns into a job throughout the night. Putting effort into being alive is a struggle that turns into a torpid comfort. The aches retreat to the depths of my body, where it simmers to a point that hurts too much.

My surroundings are vastly covered in darkness, and my breath is polluted by the broken rivers of blood in my veins. Every time I breathe, my lungs wail in complaint and my body howls in misery. I urge myself to continue moving forward. If Cain pitied me, then he would have left me not too far from Shin. If I keep striving, I may make it to the city before I pass out.

But my body refuses to comply. I feel that I have reached the end of my conscious road. My arms have tired, and my head no longer gives the rest of my body the instructions to function properly. I look up at the sky and see the hints of the sun rise toward the dim clouds. With one last breath, I rest into unconsciousness.

-----

When I wake up, my vision is too blurred for me to observe my surroundings sharply. My head hurts, and so does the rest of my body. I groan and turn over, but a thick comforter blocks my face. I shove it away, and it falls off a bed. I glance around the dark room, but there is little light shining in my new environment. I reach a hand to my tattoo and find that the cloth I had tied around it is still there. I glance down. There are bandages around my wrist, my arms, my body, and even my legs.  I must have been saved and treated by a complete stranger. From what I can tell, even the dried blood has been wiped clean from my skin.

The door creaks open. In walks an older woman with a bundle of something unrecognizable in her hands. I quickly shut my eyes and rely on my ears to picture what she is doing. I hear a chair being pulled towards the bed, and then the creaking of its legs as a weight is pressed upon it. The blankets are shoved off of me, and then a cold hand lightly touches my arm. I wince and instinctively open my eyes. She stares down at me with mild surprise, but she recovers.

“I need to treat your wounds,” she whispers. “It will hurt for a bit, but let me help you.” She unties the bandage on my arm. I clench my jaw the entire time she applies a warm gel on my cuts. “You’ve been asleep for three days. I’ve kept changing your bandages since then. But … you’re hurt badly. This isn’t from a simple accident, is it?”

I don’t answer. She purses her lips and continues to treat me swiftly and silently. It takes her an hour to finish since I have so many injuries, but when she is done, she collects the used bandages and leaves the room. As soon as the door closes, I fall asleep.

-----

When I wake up again, I see light travelling through a window I hadn’t noticed before. I narrow my eyes and pull up the comforters to block my face from the glaring sunlight when I notice that my body has ceased to ache. Looking down, I marvel at the old bandages that mask my many bruises and cuts. I carefully untie one bandage to peer at the damage that lies beneath it, and I am pleased to see that the wound has healed. I press a hand to my chest where my tattoo had once been. Physically, nothing ails me, but the memory of who I was proud to be throbs beneath the touch of my hand.

I decide to test my functionality and slowly swing my legs over the side of the bed. I stand up, but the sharp movement confuses my body, making me crash against the covers. I sit there, half of my body on the bed and half of my body on the floor, and catch my breath and dignity. I blow a sigh out of the corner of my mouth, and then I crawl back into bed and curve into a fetal position above the blankets.

The door creaks open, but I am too weary to move. I expect to hear the woman’s voice again, but instead, the voice of a younger girl acknowledges me.

“I heard you fall,” she says. “You need to eat.” She approaches me, and then she places a warm bowl of soup in front of my face. I can see the smoke listlessly wind away from the surface of the broth until it blends with the air.

“You should eat that while it’s warm,” she says. “My mum just made it. She’s really good at cooking.”

I process this information before I raise my head to look at her. Her eyes are stern and demanding, but her smile is soft like the way my mother’s would be if I had ever met her.

“You have to eat that,” she says. “My mum wasn’t going to let me help take care of you, but I told her I’d make sure you ate, so you need to eat it. Here.” She dips a spoon into the soup, blows on it, and then offers it to me. I lift my head up, and she instantly slips her hand underneath the back of my head to support me. “Come on,” she urges, and I open my mouth. She feeds me this delicious soup that tastes nothing like the food I ate with the Nights, and then she puts the spoon back into the bowl and gradually releases my head. “You seem okay. You can feed yourself. I have to go.” I wait for her to turn away, but she continues to stare at me. “You’re going to finish it, right?” She sniffs, and then she walks away, leaving me behind with the soup.

As soon as she is gone, I sit up and hastily devour the food. I didn’t know how hungry I was until she showed me the food, and now, all I can think about is making sure everything is placed into my stomach. I ignore the scalding heat of the newly cooked broth and eat and eat until the bowl is empty, but even then I am still hungry. I want more. Where is the girl –

The door opens again, and the girl walks in with another bowl of soup. She takes the empty one and replaces it with a new one, which smells just as good and looks just as tasty. “We don’t have a lot of food, so this is the last bowl you can get. You’re an exception since you’re sick.” I look up at this. “Not sick,” she corrects. “But you’re not in great condition like the rest of us, so you need to get better. We can’t keep you here forever.”

That’s right. I can’t stay in a stranger’s home. I have a job I need to carry out. I hastily finish the soup, and then I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Where am I?” I ask, my unused voice cracking uncontrollably. I cough. “Where did you find me?”

“Mum found you while she was on her way home. You’re lucky. If it had been anyone else, you could have died.” She senses the confusion on my face, because she adds, “People here aren’t naturally compassionate. My mum has a for broken things. That’s all.”

“But where am I?”

“Shin,” she answers, telling me exactly what I need to hear. My purpose renewed, I sit up with a revived vigor, but her next words blow a dent of reality to my goal. “But you can’t leave. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Shin, but people, especially boys, can’t leave the city.”

“What are you saying?”

“It’s a military city,” she answers. “One of the cruelest maintained cities you can come across. People aren’t happy here. Nobody is.” She takes the two empty bowls and cradles them in her arms. “You haven’t experienced regulation until you’ve lived here.”

“I’ve gone through crueler things.”

“No,” she denies, “you haven’t.” She clearly doesn’t know what she is saying. If she knew who I was and from where I came, she would be speaking very different words. Still, I don’t correct her assumption.

“I don’t know where you’re from, but in Shin, all the boys have to attend training from dawn every morning to dusk every night. My mum has hidden you for as long as she was able to, but eventually the officers found out. You have to start reporting to the training camp tomorrow. That’s why you need to get better,” she says, taking a step away. “By today.”

“And what if I don’t want to? What if I want to skip?”

She smiles acridly. “Then you’re going to have to want something else.” She gets ready to leave, but then she pauses. “By the way. What’s your name?”

“Call me Zee,” I reply.

“That’s not your real name, is it?” She asks. I smirk, even though the muscles on my face hurt. “Fine, then, Zee. Call me Ada. And just so you know, that’s not my real name, either.” She exits the room, and I lie back against the bed, smiling to myself. I didn’t think there was anybody in the world reminiscent of Han’s mordant personality. Folding a pillow beneath my head, I take her advice and rest.

-----

I’m woken up the next morning by the girl’s mother. She shakes me gently and whispers that I need to rise, but the aches in my joints complain too greatly. She urges me off the bed with soft, encouraging murmurs. I finally allow her to help me sit up, and then she freshens my bandages.

“Come on,” she says. “You have to get up. There’s a punishment for being late.”

“Mum!” Ada shouts as she runs into the room. She’s gasping, and sweat dots her hairline. “Mum, the – “

“Ma’am,” an older man walks in. He is wearing a bleak grey tunic with a black belt hooked over his hips. His face is stern and unmoving, and his voice is sharp and curt. “We need to get the boy.”

“I – he’s not ready,” the mom says, flustered. “I haven’t gotten him a change of clothes. And he’s – “

“We’ll take care of him,” he says. In two long strides, he reaches me and roughly grabs my arm. “Come on, kid. Follow me before you get in trouble.”

I stumble after him. Struggling to keep up with his pace, I tug on my legs and briefly pray that they will last me the day. Whatever it is that I have to do in Shin, I will do it. I am going to return successful.

Before we leave the house, I untie my bandage and look at the place where my tattoo had been. The scars have begun to heal. Slim red marks cross over my chest like a messy grid drawn by an inexperienced child. Clutching a fist over it, I toss the ragged bandage to the floor and permit the man to haul me out of the house.

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Osekop12 #1
Congrats on the feature!!
Galaxyboo_
#2
Chapter 32: This so GOOD! I CAN'T BELIVE I READ THIS IN ONE DAY?!
Galaxyboo_
#3
Chapter 22: shieeeeettttttt IM SCREAMING
Maddy_the_Lion
#4
Chapter 32: I like how this didn't follow the stereotypical fanfic storyline. I truly enjoyed it. Thank you.
sgrfhm #5
congrats
liquorandice #6
I don't read x OC fics that often but this is sooo nicee
I REALLY love that the storyline is focused on Tao himself and his growth rather than turning romance into the main thing. Officially one if my favs ❤ thank you for writing this! ^^
LocaLina
#7
Chapter 32: Chapter 32: Lemme just say that I LOVED IT!!!! So long since I’ve found a good Tao fic thank you!!!
sweet23d
#8
Congrats
rpforall_
#9
Congrats