Words nothing but words

From me to show

How much my love for you

 

Jisoo is riding her bike on the park while spreading her arm wide. She's trying to feel the air caressing her body. It's been a long time since she did it alone. Alone means being a single and free spirited girl. Usually, she's being a passenger in front her boyfriend's bicycle when they are strolling at the park. She can feel his presence though he's not there. Ricky and she just broke up a week ago and it still hurts.

 

Without paying much attention to the path she's cycling in, she just pulled out herself down when she was about to bump in a kid.

 

"Mianhe." the kid's omma just apologizes because she thought her child just came running on the lady's way.

 

Jisoo just bow and accept it, but in the back of her mind, -You're still a selfish brat Jisoo. It's you who didn't pay attention yet, you are still the one who were given with apologies.-

 

As she pushed herself up, a pair of feet just come in front of her. That shoes, that scent, she knew who was it, and she lifted her head while seeing who's hand is trying to help her. It was Ricky, her ex- boyfriend. She then handed her hand to him to have a strong hold as she stands up.

 

He smiled when she looks at him. He then sits down on his knees and slowly dusted out her knees with some sands on it and he then stands up. "You should be careful next time." he said with a caring looks.

 

She couldn't looked at him straight. She can't deny how hurting it still seeing him smiling at her. "I will."

 

He then picked the bicycle on the ground and handed it to her.

 

"Thank you."

 

"Anytime." he smiled again and then walked pass throught her without saying anything.

 

As Ricky is walking far from her, she just looked at him watching his back. He's getting faraway, he's going again. He's shoulders looked smaller, his face is even shallow a bit. She can't denied it to herself, he lose weight. They just been apart for only a week, but he lose weight that much.

 

"Ricky..." she whispered.

 

Unfold to troubles and fears

This love feels so free

And I need you to know

 

As Ricky walks further from her, he can feel he's losing her again. Again and again, everyday, he used to check up on her without Jisoo knowing. From afar, he used to stay by her side. For the first time in a week long, he holds her hand again. That's why he can smile better than before.

 

-Jisoo, I'm happy for you let me hold your hand for once.-

 

He walks straight ahead, not looking back. He can felt that shivers that he last felt when they broke up.

 

..."Jisoo, please..."

 

"No! I don't want to hear anything from you!"

 

"Jisoo it's not what you think it is!"

 

"Then what really it is that I just saw? A man who just accidentally kissed my bestfriend?! That is so unexplainable!"

 

"Okay, it's not an accident, but I'm not the one who kissed her. She was drunk, and she's lonely. She thinks of me as her boyfriend. That's all, nothing but that!"

 

"What?! She's not blind or something! She's drunk yes, but not blind that she can't even differentiate you and her boyfriend."

 

"As if you can actually differentiate things when you are winding with alcohol all over your body."

 

"Damn it! But you should at least evade those kisses!"

 

"And let her falls down and made her wounded just because her bestfriend is going to be jealous!"

 

"What did you just say? Are you telling me that I don't have the right to act this way?"

 

"I'm not telling you not to act this way. What I want to tell you is that you should at least calm down and make this a good conversation and stop being so biased on your side. I already told you what happened. I never asked you to believe me, but I am asking you to give me a chance to make it up to you. I want to show you that there's nothing happened for you to react that way."

 

"You kissed another girl than your girlfriend. Now, you are asking me to believe you and give you a chance to make it up to me? Well, let me tell you this, I won't forgive you. And from now on, you're not my boyfriend."

 

"Are you breaking up with me?"

 

"Yes Ricky. This conversation is over. I'm done."

 

That's the last thing Ricky heard from her. No calls, no text message, not even a chat online. That's how far she was to him since their break up.

 

Even though we're far apart

You're right beside me in my heart

 

He lies in his bed like a dead corpse that has throw without grace. He's been living like this for a week. He evn forgot to eat at times. Only his brother Chunji gets to reached him even just for once in a day.

 

"Stop looking at the ceiling like you are looking at her face." Chunji said as he takes his brother's side.

 

"I'm looking at her face."

 

"Babo! How can you convince yourself like that? Ceiling is not a face."

 

"But I can see her face."

 

"Ricky, why don't you just let go?"

 

"Let go of what?" he then sit up.

 

"Of Jisoo."

 

"I already let her go."

 

"Then why she's still living in four corners of this room? Free yourself. Forgive yourself."

 

"But it hurts."

 

"Nobody told you that it's just happiness when you loved."

 

"Why it can't it be just happiness? Why love has to be painful?"

 

"Love don't hurts, people usually did."

 

"How did you manage to get over with Hwayoung noona?"

 

"Seeing her happy made me moved on with gladness in my heart."

 

"Jisoo, she doesn't look happy, but she looked fine."

 

In their kitchen, Jisoo is looking for marshmallows.

 

"What are you looking for unni?" Suzy asked her sister as she sits down on the dinner table.

 

"Marshmallows."

 

"You already ate all of it."

 

"Omma didn't do groceries today?"

 

"Lol! Sunday is her grocery schedule. Why will she be there if it's only Wednesday you know?"

 

"She can do early shopping."

 

"For your eating horror? You're gaining weight since you and Ricky oppa broke up."

 

"Really?"

 

She did run to her bedroom and looked at her self in the mirror. She really gained weight. She then lie flat on the floor.

 

"I have to admit it, Ricky is still here. You babo! Why didn't you disagreed when I said I'm breaking up with you? Now, my conscience and regrets are eating me. Well, it's eating me more than I ate those marshmallows. But still it's eating me." she breathe so deep with disappointments.

 

Don't you know my love is here

Don't you know my love is real

Don't you know by now

This much is true

My love is here for you

 

..."Jisoo, I'm sorry for what I have done to you and Ricky." Jisoo's bestfriend said.

 

"Too late. We already broke up."

 

"Jisoo, please don't be hard on Ricky. It's my fault. I see him as my boyfriend."

 

"Better fix your eye sight if that's the case."

 

"Jisoo, I'm not asking you to forgive me. I am asking you to forgive Ricky. When in fact, he doesn't even have a fault. I'm the one who called him to pick me up. I know that it's such a lame explanation..."

 

"Glad you know that."

 

"But Jisoo, he's just there because I asked him, not because he really wanted to. Ricky loves you so much, and he has nobody in his heart than you. I may be kissed him, but it doesn't mean he likes me."

 

"Then why did you do that?"

 

"All I remember was I saw my boyfriend that moment and I kissed him."

 

"Did you and Ricky talked about what you should say in front of me?"

 

"Jisoo! How long will you act this way? Ricky loves you more than anything. You knew him better than what you are thinking. Jisoo, I know that you know in your heart that I'm telling the truth. If you don't really like to comeback to him, at least forgive him. Or at least tell him what you really feel."

 

..."Selfish" this is the word that always lingers in Jisoo's mind since she last talked to her bestfriend about what happened. She's selfish because she only thought of her own feelings. She's selfish because she only looked at her point of view and never hear what other says. She's selfish because she only thinks about what happened and takes no reasons or apologies about it.

 

"Jisoo..." her mother calls her as she sits beside Jisoo on the living room, "Aren't you getting tired of holding your gun against your head?"

 

"Omma, I'm not having a suicidal attempt. How can you say that to your daughter?"

 

"You're already doing it, little girl."

 

"I'm not a little girl!"

 

"Then prove it."

 

"How?"

 

"Talk to him, talk to Ricky."

 

"What?"

 

"We both know how much you still love each other."

 

"I'm afraid he might walk away."

 

"He's love never change. You just ignore it."

 

"I've hurt him."

 

"Because you're hurt."

 

"But I shouldn't hurt other just because I'm hurt."

 

"You already learned what you should learn. Now, you should apply it in real time."

 

"Omma, haven't you heard me? I said I'm afraid he just might walk away."

 

"He wouldn't walk away if you didn't let him go."

 

"But he didn't refused my words or breaking his heart."

 

"If he did, would you even listen?"

 

Jisoo didn't reply.

 

"See? You'll not going to listen. Because that moment was hot and he didn't even want to make a fire and burn everything. He's trying to do what he thinks could not break both of you into pieces."

 

"I love him."

 

"He still do."

 

Jisoo just looked at her mother wondering.

 

Time, nothing but time

To make up your mind

I'll give all that you need

 

Ricky let his day pass again without Jisoo. He decided to take some time out with all his troubles. He went to vacation with his brother Chunji in an island resort.

 

"What makes you stop chasing the runner?"

 

"Haists! Don't be so sarcastic."

 

"Why you suddenly takes time out?"

 

"She needed space. She needed time to think. I needed to be healed."

 

"Being alone?"

 

"I'm not really alone, you're with me!"

 

Chunji just smiled and give his brother a big tap on his shoulder.

 

Jisoo can't seem to get her fingers to dial Ricky's number. She's hesitating if or if not she's going to call him. She's afraid what he would say if she called him.

 

"Tsh... Jisoo, you're a basket of rotten fruits. Think of what to do. What to do? What to do?" she's walking back and forth at the living room holding and almost tossing her cellphone.

 

"Unni!"

 

"What?!"

 

"Stop walking here and there, I'm getting dizzy with you!"

 

"Then stop watching me, you little brat!"

 

"Suzy, get inside your room."

 

"Fine." the younger stood up and make her way on her room upstairs.

 

"And you big girl, what are you really trying to do with your phone?"

 

"I'm trying to call him."

 

"Trying or just thinking?"

 

"It's just the same."

 

"It's different."

 

"How?"

 

"Trying means you already dialled the number, while thinking is you're just thinking, nothing else."

 

"Whatever."

 

"Give me your phone."

 

"Why?"

 

"Its no use by the way."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because Ricky and his brother decided to go. I heard it from your sister's school yesterday."

 

"Where they've gone?"

 

"No ones knows. Maybe faraway from here. They are both broken hearted. So maybe they just decided to migrate."

 

"That can't be! Ricky should stay!"

 

"For what? He's not even your boyfriend. You can't even call him."

 

Jisoo worries grows and she then dialled his number, but its now unreachable.

 

"Can't reach him?"

 

"Haists... pick up you fool!" she then dialled the number again.

 

I want you to know,

I'll never let go,

Till you comeback to me

Even though you're far away

I'm right beside you day by day

 

Because she can't reached him, she run out of their house and went at Ricky's house. There she buzz and buzz but nobody's answering.

 

"You're looking for Ricky? They're not home. They left yesterday." a neighbor said.

 

"Did you know where they are going?"

 

"I don't know. But they have big bags along them. I think I are going out of the country or something."

 

"Out of the country?"

 

"That's what I can see."

 

That gives her shivers and break her heart more than they have broken up. From that day, she used to pass by that house to see if Ricky and Chunji already comes back, but it's still close.

 

"Omma, she came from oppa's house again." Suzy said her sister went upstairs like a zombie.

 

"She needs to be punished."

 

"Yah! Why are you doing it to her? Why did you told her that they migrated?"

 

"I didn't said that they migrated, I said they might go faraway. She thought of it, not me."

 

"Haists... you're such a good mother."

 

"Oh, thank you!" and she raffled Suzy's hair.

 

"Omma!"

 

After a week, Ricky and Chunji came back to the city. As they are going down from the cab, they saw a girl patiently looking inside their iron fence. She is looking or checking if there's anybody home.

 

"Who's that?" Chunji scanning the girl very deeply because they are still three houses away from their house for the parking reasons.

 

"It is..."

 

"Is that Jisoo?"

 

"Jisoo, she's Jisoo." Ricky's heart pump faster and he run to her leaving Chunji with all the baggage.

 

"Hey! Wait! what about the baggage!"

 

"Jisoo!" Ricky called excitedly as he stands behind her.

 

It is a familiar voice calling her. She slowly turn around and found Ricky smiling at her, "Ri- Ricky..."

 

"What are ypu doing h..."

 

She quickly hugged him tight and tears fell down on her face.

 

"Jisoo, what happened?" he then embraced her on her waists.

 

"I thought you're gone. I thought I'll never see you again." she is sobbing in tears.

 

"I'm not. What makes you think that way?"

 

"I love you Ricky. I'm sorry if I did hurt you. I'm sorry. I promise I will never be selfish and think just for my self again."

 

"Jisoo... I love you. That never change. No matter what happened, as lone as you are here with me, we can get through with every challenge. Just don't lose your hold on me."

 

She then faces him and land him her forehead to his.

 

His hands are still at her waist as they both smile. "I miss you."

 

"I miss you too."

 

"Yeah right! But I just hope you didn't missed thinking that you left me with three heavy baggage you know?" Chunji said out of nowhere having a hard time carrying the 3 baggage all over his body.

 

Jisoo and Ricky just laugh with Chunji's glares.

 

 

Song Name: My Love Is Here

Singer: Erik Santos

Song Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bl4RjjgfM0