TAEMIN

Seeing the Taehyung boy sitting across from Adreanne at the dinner table was one of the most unusual things that has happened in their household. Taemin and Adreanne almost never have anyone else enter their house, with an exception of their best friends Minho, Key, and Jonghyun, Taemin’s personal assistant, G.O, and their housekeeper that visits every two weeks, Mrs. Kim. He was taken aback when he entered the kitchen, thinking that it was one of their friends. Jonghyun did call him asking if he and Key could come over to visit and catch up over a drink, but Taemin happened to have another plan that evening.

Tiffany had been pestering him to come to her house that night. She missed him, or probably missed his presence on her bed, he couldn’t care less honestly- but there was just so much pestering that Taemin could bear before he gave up and made a U-turn to go to her house instead of returning home after work.

He knew he was a sick, sick person. He wasn’t particularly fond of Tiffany as a person, or a woman even, but she gave him a feeling that he loved to feel running in his veins.

Seeing Adreanne in her pretty floral dress made him feel all warm and cozy inside. It was a great contrast to the thrill that he experienced in Tiffany’s penthouse a few hours ago. Adreanne made him feel loved. She was his peace, a whiff of sweet rose scent every time she walked past him, crisp fresh air after the rain, magnolia and lavender swirling in the air of their shared space, and like a bucket of fresh laundry dumped onto their bed; home. Adreanne was everything he wanted in a home. Everything that reminded him of home brings him back to her.

Seeing her face every single day after he returns to where he knew he belonged and was loved unconditionally would melt every single negativity from his body- but he couldn’t express it well anymore due to the weight of guilt that he was carrying around every day the moment he stepped into their home.

Minho had asked him a question through text. It was the day he ed up so badly- confessing his sins to the person whom he knew loved Adreanne with every bone in his body. When they were in school, Taemin used to observe the pair and think that Minho was probably a better lover for her than him, if they were destined together.

Good thing for him, that he never planned to allow that to happen. Just thinking about the idea of Adreanne being with someone else made him want to go berserk. Taemin disliked thinking about such things.

Minho sent him quite a lengthy text that historical day. He read it once after he woke up from sleep and had a terrible headache, then he read it again after he could think and stand straight.

“How does being a ing cheater ing feel like?” Was Minho’s most memorable question. Never once in his life, he would think that the sweet, tenderhearted Minho would bombard him with a string of such malicious words.

Taemin could describe how it feels like, had Minho wanted to listen. He has been living with such feelings for months and months and months and months. No one knew about it better than him.

It’s… exciting.

It started as an accident at a party attended by so many famous people- Tiffany being one of them. They drank all night long, the woman staying by his side the entire time. She was pretty, she knew all the right places to touch a man, and due to the alcohol, he succumbed into her arms in the bed of a 5-star hotel where everyone who saw them checking in was paid by Tiffany’s manager to shut their mouth, or they’ll lose their jobs.

Tiffany kept contacting him afterward, telling him how in love she was with him ever since she heard about him from Adreanne. She said she has never wanted someone so badly, that she waited until she got to the height of her career so she could finally meet him.

As flattered as he was, he knew this was a dangerous territory. Tiffany was Adreanne’s best friend, and he didn’t know if she had any other motives other than just wanting to be the subject of his affection.

Taemin knew he wasn’t a stupid person. He wasn’t fickle either. Emotionally, he stayed loyal to his first love, his one and the only woman- Adreanne Lee, whom he has given his last name to bear, ever since the day he knew how to love a woman. Adreanne owns her entire being, heart, soul, and love. Taemin has never been influenced by the confessions, affections, and attention that he received even during the long, unbearable years of him living apart from her when he studied overseas. No other woman on earth can compare to his greatest love, Adreanne. But Lee Taemin was a man with a raging thirst for what life has to offer, and he has his own carnal needs.

Needs that he refused to burden Adreanne with, even when he fly back to the country to just see her face and kiss her lips passionately. No words could explain how much he yearned for her even during the days when he couldn’t have her. He wanted to keep his innocent Adreanne pure until the day she finally call him her husband. When she was willing to give her whole heart and soul to him- although he has done that since the day he realized he loved her wholeheartedly.

He might’ve been unfaithful to her physically by his own choice though, through the one or two, or quite a few- endeavors that he participated in during his time in university, but he reasoned it as his way to learn how to properly satisfy his wife once he finally got to be with her forever, for better and for worse. The exclusive call girls he slept with in various 5-star hotels in California taught him everything he knew now, how to properly satisfy a woman- at a price he hadn’t been shy to pay for. It was expensive, but Taemin worked for his own money ever since he was in high school, and he thought of it as a long-time investment.

Anything for his sweet Adreanne, the person he loves the most in the entire world. He wanted to be the best husband for her in every aspect.

Only the deity up in the heavens knew just how much he loves her.

Tiffany wasn’t the first, and Taemin didn’t start from scratch. He was starting from experience, and those experiences have always given him one thing that nothing else ever could.

Thrill.

But after it was done and he jumped down from the height of it, it only made him feel like the biggest scumbag in the world. It was fun and games when he wasn’t in full control of his mind, but once the alcohol haze started fading away, it was a whole other story. The feeling was big enough to make a prideful man like him hate himself, thus the very reason why he couldn’t find it in him to look, talk or even touch Adreanne the way that he used to every time she welcomes him home with her bright smile; even when all he wanted was the opposite.

Adreanne was as pure as the white roses that she placed in the flower vase in his office and their bedroom, thinking that it was his favorite flower. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he only liked the flower because it reminded me of her innocence. Taemin didn’t have a favorite flower, everything is beautiful in his eyes as long as she says so. She was a happy, loving person, raised by amazing parents. She grew up surrounded by love and affection from everyone around her, including from the two men he also now gets to call his best friends- Kibum and Minho. She was perfect, also the perfect opposite of who Taemin was as a person. He knew darkness will always find light, and Adreanne was his sun. She radiated happiness, something that he didn’t even think of possessing before he met her.

Taemin grew up fatherless since the age of 12, in a lonely mansion with his witch of a mom who continued to haunt and affect him to this very day.

Taemin didn’t like to think about his mother too.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he got up to go to the sink. He washed their hands together, relishing the softness of her hand as he cleaned it with soap and water. He just wanted a reason to hold her hand intimately like this during these mundane moments when he was overwhelmed by how much he loved her. These soft hands have done wonders for him- they wiped his blood, sweat, and tears, held him, and soothed his fears away, and one touch has the magic to make him soar high. Nothing beats the feeling of having her in his arms after a long day. Every worry just disappears.

Except for his worry about the Taehyung kid just now. What was he doing inside their home at midnight? Sitting on his seat at the dinner table? Getting the attention and smiles from his wife?

So he asked away.

“He saw me sitting at the pond and we talked. I was hungry, but there was too much food even for the fridge so I asked him to eat dinner with me. We talked about his college subjects.” Was what she answered. Good enough.

And what was he thinking? Adreanne would never do that to him. Right?

He kissed the top of her head, eyes closing as he did so. God, he loves his woman so much.

“What do you think will happen if she found out? Are you out of your ing mind?” Was another one of Minho’s questions that popped into his mind suddenly.

Taemin really didn’t need any more headaches today. Work was intense, he had to go see Tiffany, and now Minho’s ghost in his mind was messing up with him.

Adreanne said she waited for him to eat dinner. Another thing he has always felt guilty about. Ever since she returned home, he has been trying his best to push away all of the thoughts that made him stray from her. She didn’t do anything wrong, it was he who chose to continue doing whatever he was doing behind her back. Sometimes Taemin felt like beating himself up to a pulp for letting his conscience take control whenever she stood in front of Adreanne. He felt bad, he felt like he shouldn’t taint her with his dirty hands. His coldness towards her wasn’t something he did on purpose. It was hard to think and act when his mind was filled with everything all at once.

And it annoyed him that she was too kind of a person towards him. Sometimes he wished Adreanne could just yell at him. Curse him for being drunk and bringing misery into her life as he did so. For her to tell him that he was a failed lover, for leaving her alone and cold in their bed for many, many nights. He hated himself so much, he wish Adreanne would feel the same towards him too. Then only he would feel like his hate for himself- for his impulsiveness and incompetence was validated. Then only he could atone for his sins.

But Adreanne was too kind. She loved him even when he was retching down in the toilet bowl every time he comes home intoxicated and angry. She held him tight all night when he cried during his drunken daze.

The heavy guilt has made him turn to alcohol to blur everything out. At least when he’s drunk, he's not disappointing anyone. When he’s out of his mind he doesn’t have to deal with the misery of his self-awareness and guilt.

Taemin wanted to stop though. He didn’t want Adreanne to leave him. He’d go crazy if that happens again. The weeks without her in the house were absolute hell, and he feared for the worst for himself.

But lord, he craved the thrill so much. It felt like he was living a triple life now. The cold Mr. Lee of the Lee Group, Adreanne’s loving secret husband, and now a man who thrives in the influence of a warm liquid that burns his throat- then driving him to the edge of insanity; the insanity being his tendency to chase cheap thrills every now and then with another woman who would give up everything just to sleep with him.

Adreanne was his safety and sanity, something Taemin needed. But the unhinged, angry man inside him also wanted everything opposite of what Adreanne offered.

“Can you turn around for me, baby?” Taemin lets her go and held her shoulders before stepping back a little, giving her some room to turn around. She did, but she didn’t look into his eyes. She stared straight into his chest, eyes sometimes glancing at his left arm. “Look at me?” He pleaded. “Please.”

She refused to, so he tilted her face up to look at her beautiful face, his pointer finger under her chin, gently beckoning her to look up.

She was crying. When she moved her eyes to look at him, the tears fell to her cheeks so fast, followed by many more.

Taemin’s heart shattered into millions of pieces knowing that he caused this. He pulled his wife to his chest and buried his face in her hair. There was no way he could look at her face any longer without wanting to punch his own face.

“I am sorry, yeobo. I am so sorry. I’ll be better. I swear I’ll do better.”

Phew! Finally we got to hear Taemin's side of the story!

Thank you so much for reading. Feel free to leave your comments <3