The Confession - Delispice

/My favorite indie song of all time ♥

Chapter 50: Surrender to Destiny.

The speed of Lu Han’s car had already gone way past its limit, the stoplights were red, and the other neighbouring cars were honking angrily at him as he passed by them. However, Lu Han couldn’t care less. The thought of getting caught while driving under the influence of alcohol didn’t even enter his mind. Nothing mattered to him at the moment. Nothing but the sole fact that he needed to reach his condominium unit as fast as possible.

All this time, Lu Han had believed that he already overcame everything. He believed that he had already moved on from the girl that he had first loved, but oddly, remnants of her still kept on coming back. It was mysterious, a peculiar thing that kept on happening. It hurt in his younger years, but he was sure that as he grew up, time was able to better him. Still, it confused him so much. It was as if a part of him was stuck so that no matter what he did, the ghost of their past never seemed to leave.

He never gave much thought about it, deeming that it was only an effect of him feeling wistful, more so since once again, he failed in protecting everything that he desired for. He felt as though everything that surrounded him had already given up on him, but just when he had finally broken down, just when the candle of hope inside of him had melted for the second time, another had managed to replace it, giving him a new chance.

He knew that he didn’t deserve it for it had already been twice that he had wasted the trust that was given to him. He knew that he was an idiot for taking things for granted, but despite all of that, even if it was the last chance that would be given to him, he was going to take it. He fell in love with her the first time, and he fell in love with her again for the second time. It wasn’t just a coincidence anymore, he knew it.

It was destiny.

It took him a long time to realize that he was never alone, that the one he treasured was just there, that the only girl he loved never left him, but he believed that it was never too late. It took him a whole lot of chances, it took them a whole lot of trials, but once everything finally fell into place, all of those wouldn’t matter anymore. Only the love that he treasured and held ever since the start would matter.

Emerging from the car, Lu Han ran as fast as he could. The elevators were jammed so he had no choice but to use the emergency stairs. His head was ringing in pain and he felt like his legs were going to break down any moment, but he still ran with all the energy left in his body. He wasn’t going to give up now, not when he had already come this far.

And no sooner than later was he able to reach the door of his unit, room 420. It was the place where their friendship had started, the place that held lots of precious memories between them and their friends, and hopefully, the place where the two of them would finally become one.

With a very unsteady breathing, Lu Han took in a great deal of courage and turned the knob. However, his hands were stopped once he heard voices coming from inside the unit.

“Jisoo, are you sure about going back?” Jaera spoke, looking at her phone placed on the table. “Your life’s already here. Even if you’re not Jongmi anymore, you can’t just go back that easily because your work’s done.” She sighed. “It isn’t right.”

“Jaera, I chose to leave not because I was done with acting as Jongmi, but because I want to.” A female voice resonated through the room, coming from the speakers of the phone. “I admit that before, I hated the fact that I had to act as you, that I had to live another life besides mine.” Jisoo said. “I was living a life made out of lies and I hated it; more so because I know that once they find you again, I’ll be sent back to Canada. I thought that it was really unfair, coming to a point where I almost wished that you won’t be found again… but thinking about it now, life is never fair.” The female paused for a while, but once she continued, a chuckle was heard. “Even if I didn’t live as you or as Jongmi, my life will still be imperfect.”

Jaera fell silent, her eyebrows creasing as she bit her lip. Likewise, Lu Han stayed still outside the door, listening to the girl’s words.

“If I didn’t act as you, I wouldn’t know what reality really is. If I didn’t act as you, I wouldn’t feel love and have another family, I wouldn’t be able to meet Lu Han-oppa, and I wouldn’t be able to meet and be friends with you again.” Jisoo continued. “Everything that I received and experienced was more than enough, so I could never feel like I was wronged.”

“Jisoo, still… I’m... I’m sorry.” Jaera spoke, still feeling unpleasant. Though once she heard the other female chuckling, a surprised look washed across her face.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, silly! Like what I’ve said, I wasn’t wronged,” Jisoo chuckled, noise becoming more apparent in the background. “And besides, I never said that I was going back to Canada for good.” Hearing her words, Jaera’s eyes lit up. Before she could ask Jisoo about it though, the other female had already cut her to it. “Sorry Jaera, but I need to go! I’ll just call again once I arrive there. Take care, okay?”

Dropping her question, Jaera just nodded and smiled. “Okay. Bye, Jisoo, take care.”

With that, the unit was engulfed in silence again. Now feeling a lot better, Jaera continued fixing her things. Lu Han, on the other hand, froze on the spot. Hearing the conversation between the two, it made him remember how much he had wronged the two of them, especially Jisoo. All this time, he had treated her terribly, completely disregarding how harsh her life must be. He had only been thinking about his own life, careless about others.

He felt remorse, he felt regret, but he knew that saying sorry alone wasn’t enough. He needed to stand up, face reality, and take the chance he’d been given. It wasn’t for his sake alone anymore. Both Jaera and Jisoo had already faced each other courageously, setting all of their differences aside. This time, he needed to set things right. For their sakes, for Jaera and Jisoo’s sakes, he would set things right.

With one deep breath, Lu Han finally opened the door. Seeing the living room filled with already sealed boxes and a few bags, Lu Han wasn’t surprised anymore. He had already expected to see such a thing; however, once the bathroom door opened, his heart constricted and everything around him became void. Though he wasn’t going to let his nervousness get the best of him. He had already made his resolve and he was determined to make it real.

“Jaera,” Lu Han spoke calmly. “We need to talk.”

The girl only looked at him expressionlessly. She’d had enough of all the lies and foolishness that was given to her in return to the love and trust that she gave to him. She was still clearly hurting, but she believed that everything had already been done. “What’s there to talk about more? Clearly, nothing.”

Jaera just continued fixing her last bag, acting as if Lu Han wasn’t right in front of her. It hurt Lu Han to see her acting like such, but he couldn’t blame her. One thing he would do though, was to ignore the pain and face her courageously. “If it was just nothing to you then you wouldn’t have avoided me.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“Then why weren’t you answering my calls and refused to meet me?”

“Because as I’ve said,” Jaera placed her last shirt inside her bag and stared back at Lu Han, still donning an indifferent look. “There’s nothing to talk about anymore.”

Jaera didn’t care about his presence anymore and just continued to pack her things. On the contrary, Lu Han thought differently. He was determined to make things work between the two of them, whether she liked it or not. And he made sure to let her know of his plans for all of a sudden, he grabbed Jaera’s hand and threw her things on the floor, all the while dragging her to the balcony of the unit.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Jaera exclaimed, trying to break away from Lu Han’s grip despite knowing that it was futile. “You’re drunk, you old ahjussi!”

“Just so you know, I don’t get drunk, xiao tuzi.” Lu Han said as he locked the door. Indeed, he was still buzzed, but Jaera didn’t need to know. “Maybe now you’re in the mood to talk.”

Jaera’s brows creased and she made no effort in hiding the annoyance she was feeling. “So this is your i