the author's note~

and again... here is another oneshot shared from the past!

and again... this story was based upon a letter i wrote for a

different celebrity. this was shared on SOOMPI in 2011 of

December, but the actual letter was written on the 17th of

July of 2011... and so somewhere in between is where i kind

of just... turned it into a story. of course i changed the original

celebrity into another celebrity, that celebrity being Sulhu of

X-5, and again i asked my sister, and she chose him. so this

one and Fluttering Feelings were written around the same time

of one another. anyways... for this story, the letter i didn't send

to the real one, and just kept to myself. along with the original

contents. it has not been shared. the only thing shared is a

revised and edited one. so here this one is. anyways, this was

written because at that time, i felt like i needed to aplogize to

that celebrity about... well, not sure, but i guess my behavior as

a fan. i dunno, but deep inside me, i just felt like i really needed

to apologize. even though i knew this wouldn't be sent to him,

but still, it helped my heart to just... feel less guilty and burden.

the only reason i seem to think this way, was because i was able to

interact with him, again with other fans involve, but still, i had an

opportunity to communicate with him and his fellow members at that

time, he even responded to my tweets too. so.. in a way, i felt a bit

connected and closer, just because before debut, i was able to

communicate before official debut and other things took over and

he and his other members wouldn't be able to do this anymore.

anyways, it wasn't a love-love kind of relationship, it was a friendly

one. he made an effort to interact with us fans to make us happy,

and he was like catering to our needs, but because of that, it felt like

we were always anticipating him to do that, it may have made him feel

burden for him to well... try to please us, and make us happy, even

though us fans were like... not satisfied with that or something. we

craved for more attention, and so... in a way, some fans took this

opportunity for granted and wanted more than what was offered.

and i realized when that happen that one night of interacting...

that... i shouldn't be like that. i should just have just kept calm,

which i did, but others weren't, and so... i felt like i should have

taken the blame as well, since i knew that most of the other fans

wouldn't, because they wouldn't understand or at least comprehend

from the celebrity's point of view. anyways... this why i wrote that

letter, and now... i cherish the memories and moments i was able to

have stumble upon and keep it really close to me, because i know that...

i won't ever get the same chance again, because times have changed...

and so do people. i have grown from that incident, but i wish i was a bit

more mature in that sense... but hey... we all mature and grow at different

pace, it's only counts when you actually take notice of your own actions

and give... well celebrities their space because they are human, and they

cannot cater to everyone, because they are just human... and so remember that.

anyways... i tagged them as X-5, although they have disbanded, and Sulhu,

along with Taefung and Haewon have formed a new group as Lu:kus.

Ghun went to serve his military duty, and i dunno what happen to ZIN. T^T