Warmth
The Other Side of the Mirror
"Hey Sunmi are you okay?" D.O.'s concerned voice could be heard from outside the tent. "I heard from Suho that you suddenly felt unwell. Do you need any medication from my first aid kit?"
Sunmi clutched her sleeping bag to her face to stifle her cries. What in the world was he saying? She could barely register his words.
"Hey Kyungsoo, whatcha doing outside a girl's tent!" Kai's voice became louder from a distance. "Being a ert eh?"
Sunmi felt a sob rise up and she clamped shut, willing herself to stop. She couldn't. She just couldn't.
"I heard from Suho hyung that Sunmi wasn't feeling well and she rushed back to her tent." D.O.'s voice sounded puzzled and Sunmi could almost imagine him scratching his head if she wasn't so occupied with trying not to cry.
"Are you sure that is her tent?" Kai's voice was beside the tent now. "Sunmi? Are you inside?"
Sunmi held her breath as the zips of the tent moved and she quickly cleared , trying to sound as irritable as possible. Her thickened voice from crying sounded effectively similar to a groggy voice that just woke up.
"What? I was sleeping." She snapped, immediately shoving her sleeping bag into her face again as another sob surfaced.
The two boys were most definitely frightened by her outburst. "I think j know what's this sickness Sunmi's experiencing. PMS isn't it?" D.O. whispered.
"Most definitely." Kai whispered back. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uhm so we'll let you rest here. Come out for the camp fire if you're feeling up for it."
The two finally left and Sunmi finally let herself breathe. Moisture welled up in her eyes and she curled up in a fetal position, choking down the sobs.
She heard laughter and squeals of happiness from outside of her own miserable tent and felt dread hit her once more. One word. One word changed everything.
He saw her as a sister after all. Those nights of sweet endless dreams, of hope and anticipation, of drowning out her gut feeling.... Wishful thinking. That's what it was.
It hurt. Hurt hurt hurt.
And the worst thing was that she would still be expected to smile after this. She would have to pretend he wasn't breaking into pieces inside. She had to act like she was happy to be on this school camping trip when really, she just wanted to go home so she could gorge herself silly on ice cream and cry herself to sleep.
And right here she couldn't even cry out loud for fear of being overheard.
She thought of Suho's gentle smiles, his encouraging messages whenever she felt down, his words of encouragement and support. She had been fooling herself the entire time because she was just too afraid to face the truth.
He treated her like he would treat a sister. He never led her on or gave her any indication that he liked her more than friends. It was her who had created all these dreams in her mind and now caused herself such misery.
"Babo." Sunmi whispered, wiping her tears away furiously. "You're such a fool."
-----
Sehun looked around the rows of tents that were put up in their camping site and vaguely wondered which one was Sunmi's. He then saw a familiar pair of peach colored worn out Nike sneakers outside a dark blue tent at the side and he grinned, jogging over.
"Sunmi?" He blinked, wondering if he should knock. Do people knock when they visit each other in their tents?
There wasn't any reply and Sehun frowned. D.O. had said she was in there.
Sehun put his head against the tent and listened carefully. He stayed so still for the next few moments that Sunmi thought he had left. Which was when she gave herself the luxury of letting out a large breath and dissolving into soft sobs once more.
Sehun immediately stiffened at her cries and he didn't think twice as he ped the tent, barging in without a care in the world. Sunmi let out a squeak and turned away quickly to hide her face but Sehun already caught sight of her tear stained cheeks as she curled up on the ground.
Sehun frowned worriedly and he quickly zipped up the tent behind him. "Hey." He murmured softly, reaching for her wrist. "What happened? I thought you told the others that you felt sick. Why are you hiding away here to cry?"
Sunmi swallowed and lowered her head, letting her hair cover her face. "Nothing." She whispered.
Sehun darted nearer to her, his brows knitted in worry. "That's no nothing and you know it." He murmured. "Tell me about it. It's good to let it out of your system." He coaxed.
Sunmi trembled visibly as she hugged her little ball of sleeping bag. "Sister." She managed to croak out after a few hiccups. "He said I'm like his sister."
Everything clicked all of a sudden and Sehun realized what Sunmi was crying about. Who she was crying for.
Sehun suddenly felt this surge of annoyance towards Suho even though the leader did nothing wrong. How could that guy not realize this beautiful girl was in love with him? How could he make her cry!
Sunmi's shoulders as her sobs got louder. "I was so stupid Sehun." She sniffled. "I was hoping for the impossible. I kept trying to stay positive even when deep down, I had a feeling that he didn't like me that way. Now that he said it out loud, it hurts more because of the dreams I childishly painted for our future." She choked. "Did you know I even imagined about our wedding? Seems like that's going to stay as a dream."
Sehun softened and tugged on her wrist lightly. Sunmi buried her face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, rocking them side to side in a soothing fashion. He grimaced to himself as he felt Sunmi tremble, feeling first hand just how that one word was making her feel.
Sehun patted Sunmi's back as she cried. He kept doing it while her hair and whispering comforting words, no minding how the entire front of his shirt was getting wet.
Sehun sighed softly as he Sunmi's hair. This girl didn't deserve feeling like this.
-----
"Are you feeling okay now?" Sehun murmured, gazing at Sunmi.
The both of them were lying on the floor of the tent, facing each other. Sunmi's eyes were red and puffy and there was no doubt she that she cried a river if anyone saw her. She just shrugged as best as she could. "Could've been better." she muttered.
Sehun gave her a small encouraging smile. "It's going to be alright, I'm sure. You'll find some better guy than Suho hyung who's going to love you to bits." he sounded so sure about it that Sunmi vaguely wondered if he could read the future.
Sunmi smiled softly. "Thanks for the effort but I don't want to think that far." she sighed softly, biting her lip. "I'm just thinking of surviving the rest of this camping trip."
"You'll do fine." Sehun beamed at her brightly. "You've got me haven't you?" he thumped his own chest, grinning. "I'll be supporting you all the way so don't worry about it." he promised.
Sunmi looked at him and gave a small smile. "Thanks, Sehun." she murmured sincerely. "I don't know what I'd have done without you. Thanks for being here. It means a lot."
"I know what you'd be doing, still crying that's what." Sehun pinched her cheek. "What would you be doing without me, I know right?"
"Oh for goodness sake." Sunmi rolled away, swatting his hands away. "I'm grateful for one second and this guy decides to lelt his ego ruin the moment."
"Hey." Sehun sulked, huffing cutely. "You've got to admit you want me here. I could have been spending my time with Jina and-" he stopped short, gaping. He sprung up into a sitting positiong and glanced at his watch. "Oh no! I'm supposed to be meeting Jina one hour ago to bring her around the place!" he shrieked in panic.
Sunmi raised her brows. "You're so blatantly cheating on me?"
"It's not cheating but...well...I..." Sehun struggled, looking torn. Sunmi gave him a light shove and a small smile. "It's okay, Sehun. Just go. I'll be fine."
"But here by yourself..." Sehun frowned, unable to decide. He really wanted to spend his time with Jina but he needed to be here with Sunmi. He needed to. It wasn't so much of the responsibility of a friend or expectations from a faux boyfriend. He just had to be here for her.
"Go." Sunmi repeated, more firmly this time. "Have fun with Jina, Sehun. Go."
Sehun got out of the tent gingerly and lingered hesitantly. His fingers touched the zip but he couldn't bear to zip the tent behind him. "Are you sure-"
"You've done enough, Sehun. I want you to have your own fun as well." Sunmi insisted. "I'll be fine, I promise."
Sehun gave her a nod and zipped the tent. Sunmi watched him go and let out a small sigh. "At least one of us seems to be succeeding in their love life." she murmured. "But really, thanks, Oh Sehun. Thanks."
-----
Sunmi could hear the students singing songs and playing games outside as the others were enjoying the campfire, which was pretty much the highlight of the entire trip. She looked at herself in the once-enchanted mirror and sighed, frowning. She still looked like she cried big time and she was bound to raise questions.
If only she was one of those girls that knew how to put on make up and perhaps there would be a chance of hiding these puffy red eyes.
She didn't want Suho to worry, or for him to know. She didn't want him to have a slightest clue about her infatuation with him. If she was to get heartbroken, wouldn't it be better if the guy in question didn't know about it? At least save her her pride and their friendship.
Sunmi laid down on the ground and stared at the night sky through the netted "window" at the side of the tent. She wished she hadn't known about Suho's true feelings for her and she could be out there having fun with the other boys. If only.
"I wonder how Sehun is doing." she murmured to herself. "Lee Jina must be plastered to his side by now." she mused humorlessly. "But at least he's happy, right?"
Sunmi's stomach gave a loud growl of hunger and she sighed, pulling her bag towards her. She got out a small pack of dry biscuits and tore it open, shoving one in . No chance for melted marshmellows and barbequed chicken now.
Just as she was about to reach for her second biscuit, the door of her tent was ped and in came a self-invited guest who made himself pretty much at home. Sunmi blinked in surprise, sitting up. "Sehun what-"
"I brought dinner!" Sehun beamed at her, showing her the two plates in his hand which were piled with fragrant barbequed chicken wings, hotdogs, marshmellows and baked potatoes. And bacon. BACON.
Sunmi her lips involuntarily. "What are you doing?"
"Dinner for us of course." Sehun grinned. "You must be hungry and suffering since you can smell the food from the outside and you can't get out to eat. So the kind soul, aka me, has decided to bring you some. Come on, I know you're hungry." he passed her a chicken wing.
Sunmi took it gingerly but didn't bite into it like she wanted to. She stared at Sehun for a few moments till he shifted uncomfortably. "What?"
"It's just...I thought you'd be with Jina." Sunmi muttered. "With her shock in the afternoon and all."
Sehun leaned over to flick her forehead. "She got scared by a snail and you got your heart broken. Who do you think i should be with right now?" he chuckled. "And besides, I'm a pretty awesome boyfriend."
Sunmi chuckled to herself and shook her head. She ate the mouth-watering chicken wing and lowered her gaze to the ground, biting back a smile.
Faux boyfriend or not, this guy was really something. If he owned some sort of super power, it would definitely be controlling the temperature or something.
Because right then, Sunmi felt warm and fuzzy inside. Even if she was absolutely sure her heart felt cold and empty moments before he came.
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