October 11, 2011, it was fall and the sun shone through the town with it’s warm and comfortable heat, accompanied by a freezing breeze. A man sat on the bench of the park, a gentle smile grazes his faces as he watched his surroundings, one hand playing with the edge of a leaf that had fell from the tree.

 

“Oppa~” a screeching, yet excited voice suddenly could be heard and he turned to the direction of the owner of that voice. He saw a little girl with her hair tied in pigtails and wearing thick pink clothes, running over to another man who looked about the same age as him.

 

“Ne, oppa, did you wait long?” the little girl asked, and the man shook his head with a gentle smile on his face, patting the little girl’s head affectionately. He didn’t even realize that he was staring at them, or more specifically, staring at the man who was now holding hands with the little girl. He didn’t know why he was even staring at the young man, nor understand the feeling that suddenly swelling inside his chest. But he wasn’t that dense, he knew that somehow he felt some kind of attraction toward the man.

 

It was very embarrassing to admit it, but perhaps for the first time in his life, he had fallen in love at first sight… with another man.

 

********

[a year later]

 

The name’s Lee Sunggi, and I’m a doctor. It’s been more than three years since I’ve become a doctor in this hospital. I’ve been assigned to take care patients with varieties problem and this time, I was assigned to take care of a patient who suffered from Neutropenia. I felt very sorry toward the patient because she’s just a little girl who just turned into thirteen last month. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she could only last for a few more months.  

 

A few months ago when Kang Min Ah, the little girl, just got hospitalized here for a week I realized that she was the little girl that I saw in the park with her brother. It was very hard to believe that healthy and cheerful little girl suddenly caught in this disease. She was a child with a very bright and sweet smile that probably could manage to melt the snow.

 

 Today, exactly just like a year ago, I was walking through the same park, just enjoying the view. From a far, I could see a familiar man sitting on a bench, his face marred with a frown, as if he was thinking hard about something. Only then I realized that it was Min Ah’s big brother. I don’t know what he was thinking about but it seems he was thinking about her.

 

I was… kind of nervous whenever I saw him. Since I had a crush on him, I would always nervous whenever he’s close with me, and my heart would flutter whenever he smiles. But my desire to be close with him was stronger than my nervousness, that’s why I decided to approached him. He was too caught in his own mind that he didn’t even noticed I sat right next to him.

 

“Ehm… Joongki-ssi?” I called out. He jumped slightly at the sound of my voice and turned to look at me.

 

“Ah! Lee Seunggi-ssi! I’m sorry.” The way his face turned into an embarrassed smile brought a smile to my own face.

 

“What are you apologizing about? And drop the surname, we’re the same age.” I said to him.

 

“Sorry Seunggi-ssi. I’m just… kind of lost in my own thought.”

 

“…about Min Ah?”

 

His body instantly tensed at the mention of his sister, so I guess I was right. “Maybe you could tell me what’s troubling you?” I said to him. “I understand if you didn’t want to tell me, but sometimes it’s just felt good to tell your problem to someone, don’t you think?”

 

He was staring at me intensely, and I looked away so he wouldn’t see the blush on my face. But then he started to speak, and I turned to look back at him, listening to what’s bothering him.

 

“Min Ah… she’s…Even if we’re from a different father, we’re very close. We’ll always stick together. But since our parent has passed away, we got even close than before and… she’s the only family I have left. I don’t…” he seems having trouble to speak, and it pains me how sad he look. “…I don’t want to lose her Seunggi-ssi…”

 

I bit my lower lip, not exactly sure what to say. So I decided to just rest a hand on his shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. “I’ll try my best to save her…”

 

He stared at me for a while before broke out into a smile. “Thank you.”

 

And there it was, that smile again. I took my hand off of him and looked away, anything but to look at him. Without a word I stood up, deciding to bought a coffee for the both of us from the vending machine. But when I got back, he’s already disappear, much to my disappointment.

 

I sighed dejectedly, “I should’ve said that I just gone to bought a coffee…”

 

********

 [3 years later. In the airport]

 

The attractive dark haired man step out from the airport, a few girls who was watching him immediately turn into a fit of giggles, talking to their friends how handsome and cute he was. But the man ignores them, it’s not like he care about it or anything. He let out a deep sigh, staring up into the sky.

 

“It’s been a long time…” he spoke to himself. 

 

He’s been in Japan for a while since his aunt took him there to go to a college in Japan, so he could become a neurologist and he’s here to work in Seoul International Hospital.

 

The same place where his sister had died.

 

It pained that he has to be in the place where it would remind him a lot of his sister. But a job is a job, and he has to be professional about it. Suddenly, he wondered if the doctor that was assigned to take care of his sister was still working there.

 

I wonder how Seunggi-ssi is…

 

********

“We’re… very sorry Joongki-ssi…”

 

No. This can’t be happening.

 

“…and I would like to apologize to you personally… that I had failed you.”

 

His gaze flickered toward the room where his sister is. His sister, Kang Min Ah who’s only thirteen years old, had lost her life. He knew… he knew that this was bound to happen, but when he finally faced with reality, he didn’t know just how hard and painful to lost her.

 

“Why…” he choked on his own words when tears suddenly streamed down his cheek. “God… why do you have to take away my only sister? The only family I have left…”

 

“Joongki-ssi…” gentle hand was grasping his shoulder and he cried even harder, suddenly clinging to the arm. Another hand was placed on top of his head, and before he knew it he was brought into a tight embrace.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…”

 

And he failed to count just how many times those apologies was murmured to his ear.

 

********

Stepping into the hospital with his suitcase in hand, Joongki held his breath as he tried to push the painful memories away. But he knew he would never be able to forget it even if he want them to. The painful memories of his sister’s death… and those gentle hands, those warm embrace that tried to comfort… and the thousand murmurs of apologies…

 

“Joongki-ah!” a shout of his name was what snapped him out of his mind and he looked up from where his gaze had flickered down to the ground to see an older man approaching him. The man look familiar, and he wondered where who he is… until realization finally hit him and he looked at the man in surprised.

 

“Dongwook-hyung!”

 

It was quite unbelievable that Dongwook had grown taller than he was before, but Joongki still recognize the same man that had been his closest friend when they went into the same college in Japan. Dongwook always has this bright familiar smile that Joongki thought had become his characteristic. It’s been a year since Dongwook had leave Japan and started to work here.

 

“Hyung…” Joongki smiled at him once Dongwook stood in front of him, “it’s been a while. How are you hyung?”

 

“Well, okay I guess.” He shrugged with a smile.

 

“How about your work then? You like it here?”

 

Dongwook chuckled at him. “You’ll see for yourself when you start working Joongki-ah.” He said, pinching Joongki’s cheek who protested in return. When the hand backed away, Joongki’s eyes widen in surprised when he caught a glimpse of ring on the man’s finger.

 

“Hyung… you’re already married?” he asked, pointing at the  ring.

 

“Ah… this…” Dongwook looked at his own ring and sighs, “It’s an engagement ring… my dad set me up with the daughter of his friend.”

 

Joongki looked at him, arching an eyebrow. “What’s with the sigh? You don’t like her or something?”

 

“Oppa!” a feminine voice called out and Joongki saw a beautiful woman with long hair and slim figure run to them, wrapping her hands around Dongwook’s arm.

 

“Gyuri-ah, why are you here?” Dongwook asked, surprised and slightly uncomfortable.

 

“Oh, is she your fiancée hyung?” Joongki asked.

 

“Oh yeah… Yes, she is. She’s Park Gyuri. Gyuri-ah, this is Song Joongki, my junior in college that I told you about.”

 

“Oh, so you’re Song Joongki.” She said. “Dongwook always told me about you, he said that you’re a genius.” She offered her hand for a handshake.

Joongki smiled politely at her, “It’s nice to meet you Gyuri-ssi.”

 

“Ne~ oppa~” Joongki tried not to cringe at her whiny and flirty tone. Woman, they can be very clingy sometimes. “Have you eaten? I brought you lunchbox, let’s eat it together~”

 

“I already eat though…” Dongwook said hesitantly.

 

“But-but I tried so hard to make this…” she pouted.

 

Dongwook sighs. “Fine, I’ll eat it.” He took the lunchbox from Gyuri’s hand before turning to Joongki. “Say, Joongki, you haven’t eat yet right? Let’s eat it together.”

 

Joongki looked at him a bit in surprised. “Oh no no no, I don’t want to intrude you two.”

 

“Come on, I insist.” The older man said with a smile. “Besides, it’s been really a while since I last saw you, I want to talk to you a little longer.”

 

“You… sure it’s alright though?” he asked hesitantly, his gaze flickered toward Gyuri who looks like she’s opposing the idea.

 

“Of course it’s alright!” Dongwook said cheerfully, turning to look at his fiancée. “Right?”

 

Gyuri just smiled at him, both Joongki and Dongwook not knowing how fake the smile is.

 

They decided to eat at the park and sat on the bench with Dongwook sat in between Joongki and Gyuri.

 

“So… how long have you known each other?” Joongki asked politely, trying to break the silence and this air of awkwardness surrounding them.

 

“Quite a while…” Dongwook answered without any enthusiasm as he opened the lunchbox before leaning close to Joongki, whispering on his ear. “Since my father decided to engaged me with her.” He hissed.

 

“Oppa… what are you two talking about?” Gyuri asked in curiosity.

 

“Oh, nothing. Let’s just eat okay?” he asked, smiling at Joongki as he offered the lunch, not noticing the glare Gyuri throw at them.

 

“Oh, this is very good…” Joongki said in amazed as he took a bite of the food, “Did you make this yourself Gyuri-ssi?”

 

“Thanks…” she smiled sarcastically, “Though it’s supposed to be for Dongwook-oppa only.”

 

Joongki choked on his food.

 

“Joongki-ah!” Dongwook immediately reached for a bottle of water, handing it to Joongki before looking at his fiancée with a glare. “Gyuri-ah!!  What’s with you?!”

Gyuri looked away, refusing to answer.

 

Dongwook shook his head in disbelief before looking back at Joongki with a concerned look. “You okay?”

 

“Ah, yes… I’m fine.” Joongki said, smiling. “And she’s right hyung, I shouldn’t be intruding you two.”

 

“Joo—”

 

“Anyway, I have to go now.” Joongki turned to look at his wristwatch, looking back at Dongwook with an apologetic smile. “Sorry Dongwook-hyung, but there’s something I’ve got to do here, so I’ll see you later okay?” with that, Joongki left both Dongwook and Gyuri before went inside the hospital.

 

Dongwook sighed, staring Joongki’s back longingly before turning to glare at Gyuri. “What’s wrong with you?!”

 

“What did I do?!” she said defending herself.

 

“Why are you being rude to him?!”

 

Gyuri huffed, placing her chin on her palm. “…I don’t like him.”

 

“Seriously?!” Dongwook asked in disbelief. “He didn’t do anything to you and you said you don’t like him when you just met him for like a few minutes ago?!”

 

“Fine, I’m sorry!” Gyuri yelled back. “Why are you so upset anyway?! And if it because he leaves, he did it by himself. I didn’t ask him to leave!”

 

Dongwook shake his head and sighed, rubbing his temple. Seriously… this woman… “Whatever.” He stood up. “I’m going back to work.”

 

“Oppa, your lunch—”

 

“I said I’m not hungry.” He threw a glare over his shoulder before walking back inside the hospital, leaving a pissed Gyuri alone by herself.

 

********

 

A month has passed since he began working in this hospital, and he just realized that never once did he bumped or met Doctor Lee. It doesn’t make sense, since they’re working in the same hospital. Maybe the man was just busy, but it’s quite impossible that Joongki seriously never caught a glimpse of him. Then the other possible way is that the man probably quit working? He’s really curious about where his whereabouts, plus, Joongki never got the chance to thank the doctor for his effort for trying to save Min Ah. Even though Doctor Lee didn’t manage to save his sister, he still want to gave him his gratitude. Joongki knew that the man felt really bad about it… even though he didn’t have to, since it’s not like his fault or anything.

 

“Joongki-ssi?” a male doctor came to approached him.

 

“Ah, good afternoon Choi-ssi. Can I help you?”

 

“Nothing. I just want to talk to you.”

 

Joongki raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“Is something the matter Joongki-ssi? Cause it’s not like you to daydream like that.”

 

Joongki stared at him in surprised. Was he really that obvious when there’s something bothering him? “…no. Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

 

The older make stared at him for a while before shrugging it off. “Very well… and I give you my best regard. I know that Yunho-ssi’s case is probably quite hard for you to handle, but you’re doing well for a newbie. That I can say for sure.” He encourage, smiling at Joongki.

 

Joongki smiled back at him. “Thank you very much. But no, I don’t really think that Yunho-ssi is quite a problem, he is my patient after all.”

 

Jung Yunho is the patient that he was in charge since a week ago. Three months ago, he’s got into an accident and he had lost his entire family, leaving him all by himself now. It was very fortunate that he has his best friend with him that always help him, and it was Yunho’s best friend as well who brought him to the hospital.

 

The taller male chuckled, clasping Joongki on the shoulder. “Anyway, good luck. I’ve got things to do, so if you’ll excuse me.”

 

“Ah, Choi-ssi!” Joongki called out before the man could walk even further. “I was wondering… do you know Doctor Lee Seunggi who work here?”

 

“Lee Seunggi?” the man asked back, and Joongki nodded his head. “Yes. I know him. He’s no longer work here though. He’s been transferred to another hospital, but I don’t know where.”

 

“I see…” Joongki muttered. “Thank you very much Choi-ssi.” As he watched Doctor Choi walked away from him, Joongki wondered why he’s feeling a little disappointed when he knew that Doctor Lee’s not longer work here.

 

Deciding not think about it anymore, he walked back to the therapy room. A few patients was also there, accompanied by the nurses that was assigned to take care of them. Joongki walked to one of the patient that he’s in charge of, watching as the his patient, Yunho, sitting quietly while string at particularly nothing.

 

“Has Yunho-ssi willing to try move something?” he asked the nurse stood next to him.

 

“Not yet doctor.” The nurse shook her head sadly. “He didn’t even move at all from his position and has been ignoring me.”

Joongki sighed, glancing at Yunho had this usual blank look on his face. Then they began to examine Yunho, and then a few minutes later, the door was slide opened and he could hear footsteps approaching them. Joongki turned to the visitor, only to be greeted with a familiar face of a brunette man who wore sunglasses.

 

“Good afternoon, Song Joongki-ssi.” He greeted Joongki as he took off his sunglasses.

 

“Good afternoon to you too Jaejoong-ssi.” Joongki stood up and smiled at Yunho’s best friend. The one who’s been helping Yunho and always by his side all this time. He’s very close to Yunho that make Joongki’s wonder whether they’re actually friends or something more.

 

“May I…” Jaejoong asked hesitantly, motioning his hand toward Yunho.

 

Knowing what he means, Joongki step to the side, giving space for Jaejoong to come to Yunho. “Sure, go ahead.”

 

Jaejoong smiled at him before stepping closer to Yunho and took the man hand into his. “Yunho-ah… can you hear me?” he cradled the man’s hand to his chest. He look at Yunho sadly when there’s no response at all.

 

“…If only you could talk to me…” Jaejoong whispered, but Joongki could still hear what he said. And there’s no mistaken how Jaejoong was this close to broke into tears judging from his voice that began to tremble.

 

“Yunho-ah… you have, need, to fight your own fear. I know how terrible and scary it must’ve been to you. But we human always have to move forward.” Jaejoong looked up at Yunho with teary eyes. “I’m not asking you to forget the past just because it’s going to be painful sometimes for you, but don’t you think the past could make us happy?”

 

Joongki agreed silently, staring at the floor with a sad smile. True, it was painful to remember his sister sometimes, because it always make him miss her so much and make him want to cried, but those memories that he created with his sister was also one of his happy memories. He looked back at the pair again and couldn’t help but smile again, finally realizing that indeed, Yunho and Jaejoong are really more than a friend.

 

“Remember those times when we would always go together and play together? Remember the time when you propose to me?” A tear slipped down Jaejoong’s cheek. “Didn’t you tell me you’re very happy when you’re with me? Aren’t those happy memories?”

 

Jaejoong took a deep breath, brushing his tears away and clutching at Yunho’s hand even tighter. “Even if we lost everything… we still have each other… You’re not alone Yunho-ah…” he finally broke into another cries, burying his face against Yunho’s clothed arm. “So fight Yunho-ah… don’t leave me alone…”

 

Joongki bit his lower lip, not knowing what to say. He might never had a lover before, but he knew how painful it is to see the one you love was suffering. He understand how Jaejoong feels, because he had been there whenever Min Ah’s suffering.

 

So the only thing he could do is to gave a gentle squeeze on Jaejoong’s shoulder. To make him remember that he’ll do what it takes to make Yunho’s back to normal again.

 

A hand landed on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll try my best to save her…”

 

Joongki blinked. Why the hell did he suddenly remember that?

 

Joongki looked back at Jaejoong, then to Yunho, only to be surprised when he found the man was staring at Jaejoong, and he could say that he was shocked in amusement when Yunho’s trembling hand slowly making its way to Jaejoong’s cheek, wiping the trails of tears as best as he could.

 

Jaejoong looked at him with wide eyes, “Yunho-ah! You-you move your hand!” he exclaimed, tears of happiness streaming down his cheek. “Thank God…”

 

“Are you ready to do therapy then Yunho-ah?” Jaejoong asked hopefully, smiling widely when Yunho nodded his head that he couldn’t resist to kiss his forehead. “I’m so proud of you…”

 

“I’m happy for both of you.” Joongki smiled at the pair, before looking at Yunho. “We’ll start your therapy from tomorrow then.”

 

When Joongki step out of the room, he could hear his cell phone ringing. He looked at the ID caller, smiling when he saw Dongwook’s name on the screen.

 

“Ne, hyung?”

 

“Oh Joongki-ah. Do you have times now? I want to talk with you. Can you come here? Do you remember the café that I own?”

 

“Ah, sure. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

 

Joongki close the call before heading out of the hospital. He really admire his hyung, and couldn’t help but envy him sometimes. Because Dongwook is like… the perfection of a man. He’s very successful since he’s not only a doctor, but he also owned a café. Not forget to mention he’s good at sport.

 

After a few minutes walking, he finally caught sight of the café with ‘SE7EN’ sign on top of the door and he went inside. He smiled at the worker before heading upstairs where Dongwook’s office is. He knocked on the door once he stood in front of it, smiling when the door opened from inside by Dongwook.

 

“Hey!” Dongwook immediately brighten at the sight of Joongki. “Come in.”

 

Joongki stepped inside the office, closing the door behind him before following Dongwook to the balcony, who already sat in one of the two empty chairs. Two coffees on top of the round table.

 

Joongki took a seat on the other chair before focusing his attention to Dongwook, “So? What’s up?”

  

Dongwook crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaned back against the chair. “There’s just something… that I want to talk to you, since I really need the urge to tell someone about it. And I trust you, that’s why I want you to come.”

 

“Okay…” Joongki tilted his head, “What do you want to talk then?”

 

“It’s about Gyuri.”

 

Joongki frowned at him, “What about her?”

 

“Do you remember when I told you that it was my father who got me engaged with her?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you know why?”

 

“You never told me, so how should I know?”

 

Dongwook chuckled. “Right, well… he want me to marry Gyuri because he want to get Gyuri’s dad company in his hand since Gyuri’s father was very sick. So if I marry her, there’s a big chance that all his heritage will be in my hand instead of Gyuri’s.”

 

Joongki’s frown had deepen. “So… your father was kind of using you then.”

 

Dongwook sighed. “Well… something like that.”

 

“If you dislike it so much…” Joongki leaned forward, arms on top of the table. “…why didn’t you refuse him then?”

“I tried Joongki-ah.” The older one shook his head in defeated manner. “He didn’t even listen to me…”

 

Joongki bit his lower lip, before smiling at Dongwook. “I’m not sure if I’ll be helping, but I’ll help you think of a way for this.”

 

Dongwook smiled back at him. “Thanks a lot Joongki-ah.” He grabbed Joongki’s hand, rubbing circles with his thumb with such tenderness that took Joongki by surprised, but the younger one just smiled back at him, letting his hand being caressed.

 

“Oh, by the way, have you eaten?”

 

“Well, no.”

 

“I’ll go get you some pasta then.” Dongwook winked at him and Joongki laughed, swatting the older man’s back jokingly when Dongwook walk passed him. Joongki took his time enjoying the view while drinking his coffee as he wait for Dongwook to come back. He smiled to himself when he remember how kind and how much Dongwook care about him. That’s why Joongki felt really at ease whenever he’s with Dongwook and he really likes him so much, almost to the point that he think of Dongwook as his own brother, a family member.

 

Little did he knew that Dongwook think the opposite.

 

Dongwook sighs as he stood against the counter of te kitchen, waiting for the pasta to be made before looking at the stairs longingly, knowing that Joongki was still up there waiting for him.

 

He knew how close his relationship with Joongki is, even if they weren’t like friends since childhood, but he could feel this immediate attraction when he met Joongki for the first time, knowing that they would click immediately.

 

In another people’s eyes and Joongki’s opinion, they’re very close like how a real brothers like, but Dongwook knew that it wasn’t true, and he knew that he care, like, love, Joongki more than brothers. Back then when Joongki’s still in Japan, lots of girl confessed to him, but he always politely turn them down. Knowing very well that the one he wanted wasn’t with him.

 

But now Joongki’s here, with him. And to be honest, Dongwook wasn’t really sure what to do. He wanted to confess to him of course, but he’s scared of rejection and that Joongki will hate him because of it. (Though he highly doubt that, since Joongki wasn’t that kind of guy who would throw friendship away, but then again, he didn’t really know)

 

When the pasta finally done, Dongwook brought it with him as he walked upstairs. His heart fluttering when he saw Joongki smiled at him.

 

“Here.” Dongwook put the pasta on top of the table.

 

“You’re not eating hyung?”

 

“I already ate.”

 

Joongki shrugged. “Fine.” He grab the fork before digging his pasta.

Dongwook couldn’t help but smile how cute Joongki is, totally focusing his whole attention to the pasta. He laughed when Joongki choked on his food for eating too fast and handed him a drink. “No need to rush you know, it’s not like your pasta going anywhere.” He teased.

 

Joongki glared, though playfully before resuming to eat his pasta, which made Dongwook chuckled. Dongwook just stared at Joongki with his chin resting against his hand.

 

It drive him crazy whenever he would be happy over little things that Joongki did, like how he simply smile made Dongwook’s world suddenly brighter, how when they held each other hand make all the burden Dongwook had on his shoulder disappear in an instant.

 

It was almost scary how strong his feelings for Joongki. That’s why he was scared how his feelings would affect their relationship, because Dongwook was sure as hell that he couldn’t feel normal when he’s with Joongki.

 

He’s afraid of risking for what they have, and Dongwook didn’t want to lose that.

 

“Thank you for the food.” Joongki smiled widely, wiping his mouth tissue.

 

“You’re done?” Dongwook asked with a smile, earning a nod from Joongki. “Do you still have time? I want to ask you out for a movie.”

 

Joongki looked at his wristwatch, “Hmm… sure. I’ve still got some times.”

 

With that they went downstairs, talking about simple things before Dongwook told Joongki to wait n front of the entrance since he forgot his key. Joongki shake his head as he watched Dongwook went back upstairs before heading to the entrance.

 

When he wait there, a little kid was playing with his toy, and Joongki watched the little boy with a smile as the boy kept on playing. He always had a soft spot when it comes to kids.

 

But then the toy suddenly got in front of Joongki, and he bent down his body to received it before he saw another hand reaching for the toy as well.

 

Looking up, Joongki was awestruck by the man’s handsome face.

 

Who is this guy?

 

(Beta-ed by : Himesukisuki)