I love making mix CDs. It’s one of the things I genuinely enjoy doing. I’ve done quite a lot of mixes over time. I made some for Eun Hye which we usually play whenever we hang out in her room or during our sleep-overs. I’ve made a mix for Jae Hoon as well on his birthday and on our 100th day together. At first, he didn’t really get the point of mixes, he said why can’t I just buy an album. I explained to him that mixes are much different and while albums are entertaining, mix CDs somewhat connotes personalization.

I like receiving mix CDs as presents myself. It makes me feel like I’m special to that person. Imagine, they spent hours after hours (or for some people days or weeks) to gather songs and burn them, they took some of their time just to make that mix, they wouldn’t make one if they don’t care about the person they’re going to give it to. They have to accept and listen to it.

That’s what I’ve been telling myself since last night.

I didn’t see Jongin the following day after we argued. I waited for him during lunch time to tap me on the shoulder and invite me to eat lunch with him but he never did. I wanted to visit him on the workshop, but I was too scared that he might get annoyed with me again so I didn’t. As much as I know he needed a friend, I knew deep down he was right and I was wrong for sticking my nose in his personal business.

Later that night, I made him a ‘Sorry’ mix CD. I was a bit hesitant about the mix, though, because I’ve never done a mix which contains songs about apologizing and being a lousy friend. But I don’t know any other way to apologize to him but make a mix.

The following morning, I took one of my coworker’s shift. We bumped into each other along the small hallway of the shop. I offered him a small smile but he merely gave me a dull look and walked past me. Before lunchtime, I sneaked up at the deck roof and placed the mix CD on top of the wooden picnic table along with the small note I’ve written for him, hoping he’d give it a try.

I didn’t see him the rest of the day and the thought of him throwing the mix away hung around my head. Because of this, I was a bit distracted while I was hanging out with Jae Hoon at the country club.

I saw Jongin again on a Saturday for the short film making. He sat on his usual stool while he wait for me to fix his makeup. We didn’t exchange greetings or a word for a brief moment. Sure, I wanted to start a conversation with him, but the look he’d given me the last time we met wasn’t exactly welcoming, thus I kept my mouth quiet while I apply some light makeup on his face.

I refrain from meeting his eyes as much as possible, but he was staring at me quite playfully. Slightly annoyed, I stopped what I was doing and finally meet his gaze. For the first time, I noticed how dark his irises were—not the kind of dark that makes you feel as if you’re being drained, but the wistful, elusive kind.

“What?” I said to him, rather annoyingly.

“Randy Newman,” Jongin started, “You’ve Got A Friend In Me.”

I felt a smile tugging in my mouth but I bit my bottom lip. He listened to my mix CD. “So?”

“Seriously?” he said, grinning a little.

“I like Toy Story.” I shrugged coolly. I purposely turned to the table where the makeup box was placed to hide my widening smile, and then I heard him chuckling.

“Yeah, I liked that movie, too.” he said when I turned back at him. “When Andy started giving away his toys…”

“Cried my eyes out.” I nodded lightheartedly.

“Same.” Jongin said and then we both chuckled and shook our heads from being silly. “I like your mix, though. Really.” he added genuinely.

I sighed and smiled. “Good.” I mumbled. “Jongin, I’m sorry about the other day. I went out of line.”

“And I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Jongin apologized, his eyes gentle. “I didn’t mean to. I just got a little…” he sighed sharply, “I just really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

I nodded my head even though I don’t really get it. I figured I’ll give him some time, maybe he’ll open up one day and if that day comes, I could offer him a hand.

Furthermore, if I push him again, he’ll definitely push me much further away. I like being friends with him. It’s kind of strange, I think. He’s not the kind of friend I usually like being around with but, I feel good about him.

After we filmed, we headed to the café to hang out. Eun Hye asked me to call Jae Hoon and invite him over because she haven’t seen him yet since he arrived. However, Jae Hoon wasn’t able to make it because he met up with his relatives.

“This is mine?” I asked Jongin after he put a plate of two slices of pizza and a smoothie on my table. I was just about to slide off my seat to order some food on the counter.

“Yep.” he affirmed, sliding on the seat opposite mine, “Pizza with no olives.” he gestured toward the plate in front of me.

I stared at the plate on the table and it was pizza with no olives, indeed. I don’t remember mentioning to him that I don’t like olives on pizza, though. “Thanks.” I smiled at him.

Eun Hye along with our crew joined us afterwards with their foods. While the others were busy chatting, I took the liberty to talk to Jongin about the country club. He said he used to be a member of one of the basket ball teams but he dropped out because he wanted to focus on his dancing. When I asked him if he remembered or had seen Jae Hoon before, because as far as I could remember, Jae Hoon had been a member of the basket ball teams almost the same time as Jongin was, but Jongin said he didn’t remember Jae Hoon.

“In fact, I barely rem