1^st visit:

It’s been a month. She’s doing well. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about her at the first place. Gae Hee-ah, I missed you.

I remember when you try to bake a cake on my 18^th birthday. You got flour all over you. The kitchen was totally in mess. You tried so hard till you made a plenty of it and each time you failed you will make this weird whining, which I love to hear the most, and I missed the most.

You were trying hard, yet you failed all over again. You cried behind the tools, embracing yourself within the dim light and the worst part was you keep blaming yourself for being so useless girl for me. Despite the cakes you dumped inside the dustbin, the tears are really meant for me. Suddenly it felt like you’ve been pouring your love for me.

If only those tears are one of the ingredients of the cakes, I am sure that the cake would be the tastiest cake in the world because it filled with your sincerity of love.

It does sound possessive but seeing you crying for me is enough for me. It seems it was the greatest birthday present ever.

Gae Hee-ah, thank you.

2^nd visit:

You’ve got your puppy. That’s great. At least you’ve got accompany rather than being alone in your apartment. I wish I am the one.

I remember the day we fought. It was the first and the last. Sometimes, those harsh words really are never meant to be said. The anger was just control all over the mind. You cried throughout the night. I knew and I am sorry. The presence of the guiltiness is still here deep inside my heart. If only I could twisted the time, I never wanted those quarrel ever exist between us.

You went to your class with your swollen eyes. Seeing you stay passive throughout the day, made my heart sore. I wanted to embrace you right away, but ego controlled me. I was too idiot, idiot enough to let you carried the pain because of me.

I remember a day before we fought, you told me you’ll have extra classes today. After I finished my classes, I walked home. I did not wait for you as always. I was too selfish and my ego has taken me too far. Without regret I went home.

It’s was six, and it was raining as hell. As if the weather is grieving for you too. I was wondering, how you would go through with this weather. I wanted to call you, but men’s pride is way over everything.

I took the umbrella as your face keeps reminiscent within my mind. I walked out and stand in front of the school, waiting for you.

I saw you soaked in the rain, crying. Those emerald eyes can’t tell lies. I knew they were crying because of me. I walked near and you embraced me. Strong enough to tell me don’t ever let her go again.

Gae Hee ah, I’m sorry. I promise, this person won’t hurt you ever again.  

3^rd visit:

Gae Hee-ah, congratulations! You’ve passed your interview. Now, one of your wish is fulfilled. I am truly happy for you. At least, there is one able to be come true.

We were both sitting in the grass laying side by side, writing our dreams. There were too many and we both had different kinds of dreams. Yet there was one for sure that we both shared the same, married to each other.

I took your grace hand and pretend we both were in a wedding ceremony. I was the groom, and you were the bride.

It was too wonderful and I wish we were really married by that time. You are beautiful though you were on your worn-out jeans and sneakers. It feels like you are wearing your wedding dress and stand amazingly at the aisle, waiting for me to make you mine.

You were laughing while I was pretending to be the priest and the groom at the same time. How I wish there would be a stranger stop by and pretend to be like one since I was too tired to be two different persons at the same time. I wish I would be your only one groom.

How I wish we were meant for do and die.

4^th visit:

Someone approached you today. After all you are always beautiful and apple of everyone’s heart. I believe there will be someone who would fond for you. After all, he must felt the same as I first fell for you. I felt a slight jealous, but time will heal.

Three years ago, we first met. You were busy picking your best friend’s present. I never knew that I would fell for a girl like you.

I was too preoccupied listening to my iPod. It was cliché, yet it was the beginning of every chapter of you and me. I bumped you and you stepped on my iPod. Weird, I don’t feel any furious as I saw you bowing, apologizing to me. I said it was okay and gave you my most sincere smile and walk off. Yet, I don’t feel anything affiliates between us. You chase me. You keep asking my apology and told me that you would do anything for me. I told you I was okay and no need to feel regret about it.

Instead, you made your move and ask my name. You were trying to hit on me! I was too shocked. Even though it sounds crazy but all of the actions were actually made just to ask my number.

You confessed, you changed the iPod with your broken one that looks exactly the same as mine in the middle of the chaos. At first I was afraid, but something tells me, I should really give it a try.

Amazingly, you have made me fell for you within a day.

Last visit:

You are getting married. You’ve got wedding dress and ring. It is a great news. Upon these tears, there are different kinds of feeling, joy and sorrow. 

Joy for your happiness.

Sorrow for letting you go.

Somehow, love brought us here. At least you were there during my days. You were the one who filled them. We shared different kind of emotions.

It was the last day. God has given me the greatest moment to be able to be with you. I am not going to blame Him for making me this way because I believe God has planned for you to spend a life with a better guy. I am not the one. At least, He made me knew you. That would be enough.

I saw you crying beside me. If only I could do something just to make you stop crying. My strength just won’t do. The soul is soon to be taken. I know it’s time.

Sorry Gae-Hee-ah, I am not the guy, just not the guy.

Thanks for coming all the way each time and tell me how your life is going. I knew you will not forget about me.  

You know that I love you so, love you enough to let you go.

Thanks for the flower you brought for me.

Thanks for keep praying for me.

Thanks for keeping my grave tidy.

Thanks for keep me always in your heart.